


The Cost of Being a Good Samaritan

by Beautiful_Aravis



Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: F/M, Mild Language, Reader Insert, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-07
Updated: 2018-03-17
Packaged: 2018-03-21 19:08:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 26
Words: 86,137
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3702677
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Beautiful_Aravis/pseuds/Beautiful_Aravis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You see a man fall out of a window on your way home from a double shift at the hospital.  The consequences are far more than you anticipated.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Good Samaritan

**Author's Note:**

> An ongoing work, hope you enjoy!

There was no way he was alive. No one could have survived that fall, you thought to yourself as you ran over to the man’s body. He was half curled in on himself on his side as you reached to feel his neck for a pulse. Just as your hand touched his neck, the man took a deep breath and groaned, and pushed himself to his back. 

_Oh thank God_ you took a steadying breath before putting your hand on his shoulder firmly. “Don’t move,” you instructed looking up and over your shoulder. It was still the quiet hours of early morning and there weren’t many others out and about. You wouldn’t have been out except for the double shift you were asked to pull the previous night. “I’m calling 911, can you tell me your name?” You asked looking down at his face for the first time. Initially, you gave him a cursory once over and the any bones sticking out or a giant pool of blood coupled with his strong pulse made you comfortable enough to look away to find your phone.

“That’s… that’s really not necessary.” The man groaned as he straightened out on his back. “I’ve had much worse I assure you.” He chucked, wincing at the movement.

“Umm, you just fell what… 6? 7 stories?” you stared down at the man, mouth half open. “Yes, it’s necessary,” you said as you placed your phone on the ground on speaker phone and grabbed your stethoscope from your bag. As your phone started ringing the man grabbed the phone and pushed end call just as a voice began to speak up from the other end. “Sir, you need to go to the hospital,” you protested as the man sat up. 

He looked amused as you leaned forward tilting his chin to inspect a deep cut on his cheek. “This needs stitches,” you said absently before turning his face the other direction, looking at the bruise forming below his eye. “Do you know your name? Where you are?” you started asked, deciding that while he may refuse an ambulance you’d be damned before you let him go before deciding how badly his head was injured. 

“You don’t know my name?” he raised his eyebrows. Apparently your assessment amused him. Was he flirting? Trying some strange pick up technique? You rolled your eyes and shook your head.  
“No, I don’t.” You put your stethoscope ear pieces in before putting the bell on his side. “You wouldn’t be trying a line on me hm?” you smirked leaning closer to listen to his lungs. For the first time you noticed his blue eyes and smile. “You’re lucky you don’t have a collapsed lung from that fall.” You sighed placing the instrument around your neck.

“Nah,” he wrapped an arm around his side, “Just some nasty bruising I’m sure,” he said and started to get up. “You a doc?” He raised his eyebrows. You immediately put a restraining hand on his shoulder. 

“Whoa there mister, you stand up and fall there’s no way I’m going to be able to catch you without hurting myself. Just… stay down? Please?” he was getting impatient with you. “No, nurse.” You watched him carefully. “You never answered my questions. There’s no way I’m letting you leave until you do.” He could refuse to be seen, that was his right. But you couldn’t just let someone take a fall like that and not be sure they at least knew who they were, he must have hit his head hard landing on the concrete.

“Steve. Now look, ma’am, I need to go.” Before you knew what was happening he was standing and offered you a hand up. You brushed off your scrubs and stood with his help. Just as you reached your feet you saw Steve’s eyes go wide and he yanked your arm hard, pulling you to the side. At the same time you heard a loud shout and a felt a horrible burning in your arm. “Damnit! I thought I lost them!” the man, Steve, growled as you lost your balance from his harsh pull. 

Before you knew it, Steve was surrounded by three men. You held a hand over your left upper arm against the burn of a deep cut, warm blood trickled down and dripped off your fingertips. _What did I walk into…_ you thought as you backed away, your phone was still on the pavement where you had set it before. Adrenaline pumping through you, you didn’t think through the consequences of grabbing for it. Just before you reached it, you were grabbed and thrown backwards into the side of the building. You felt sick as the back of your head hit the brick with a sickening thud and your vision blurred. 

“Heeeel—“ you started to scream hoping some passerby might hear but one of the men clamped a hand over your mouth and slammed you hard against the building once more. You wouldn’t pass out, you told yourself. Passing out meant death. You needed to run but your legs felt like rubber. You had no weapons and your hands were clawing at the giant hand that held your throat, pressing you against the building. The man holding you had a dark grin on his face and you looked directly into his eyes. If he was going to kill you, he had to look at you.

“This little mouse has some spunk,” he laughed as you tried to kick at his legs. “Such a waste.” He sighed as he squeezed your neck, cutting off your airway. Eyes bulging you grasped desperately at his arm, then at the wall. Weapon… no weapon… you thought to yourself as your hands reached your pocket. You felt the metal loops and without thinking grabbed them and slashed the pointed end of the clamps at your attackers face. The first time you connected the metal jammed deep down in the man’s ear and he screamed, jerking his head back. His grip faltered allowing you to take a deep breath of air that you desperately needed. Your second wild swing grazed his soft eye, earning you a shove as the man pushed away from you screaming and cursing wildly. Getting to your knees, you crawled to get towards an open area, desperate for help. You were sure by now that the mystery man Steve was dead and unless someone intervened, you were certain you would follow shortly. A booted foot made devastating contact with your side and you, gasping for air, lay down curled protectively around yourself. Muffled voices and a car door vaguely registered with you but you were so tired, so suddenly tired.

“Help me get her to the car,” you heard a voice over you and felt strong arms behind your back and under your legs. 

“We don’t take in stray civilians, Steve.” Someone protested. The voices were far away at this point. 

“Well, she was trying to help me when they came back for me.” 

“Did you tell her that really wasn’t necessary?” Annoyance was thick in the man’s voice. A chuckle rumbled in the chest you were held against.

“Well, I tried…”

You promised yourself you would never play the role of Good Samaritan ever again as you finally passed out.


	2. Nurses Make the Worst Patients

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You wake up alone and try to find some explanation of the extremely strange encounter you had. The answers are not very comforting.

It was quiet as you slowly woke up. Your limbs felt like lead and you decided that there was no way you were getting up before your alarm went off. As you went to roll on your side, your head immediately started throbbing and a stab of pain in your side stopped your movement immediately. _What did I do to myself yesterday?_ you groaned to yourself. _Yesterday, the man who fell, the group that came after him…and you_ You opened your eyes, wincing from the light of the room. 

Slowly, you pushed yourself up, bracing your side with an arm. You were no longer in your scrubs, but in a pair of white drawstring pants and white tee shirt that covered a tight bandage around your ribcage. There was another bandage wrapped around your upper arm and you could see some dried blood had seeped through. In the back of your mind you wondered who had changed you as the room you were in was deserted. Your bed was the only one there and though there was medical equipment present, it lacked the mass produced feel of a hospital ward. Questions pushed at the fog that filled your brain and your body fought with your mind over priorities. Answers, or pain relief.

“Hello?” you croaked. The lack of response was not heartening. Standing, you steadied yourself against the side table and let one hand wander to the back of your head, wincing as you bumped the bandage you found there. 

Walking with one hand trailing along the wall for balance, you made it to the door and opened it to look outside. The hallway outside was equally deserted. The room you came out of was labeled “Medical 3” you noted before walking down the hall to the right, keeping your right hand on the wall. The floor seemed deserted and the longer you walked the more you despaired of finding a person, let alone an exit. You were about to turn around when you heard a muffled voice followed by others raised in argument.

“If you had just stuck to the plan we wouldn’t be trying to track down the ones that escaped!” the voice sounded vaguely familiar as you walked silently to a door that was slightly ajar. 

“Hey, we were surrounded, so I improvised to keep us alive,” a sarcastic voice replied. “Tell me again how that’s a bad thing?” 

“We still don’t know how many there were, and how they knew we were coming. Let’s focus on that for a minute. Mole? Security breech? Any of this ringing a bell?” a woman’s voice added to the confusion. 

“And to complicate matters worse, you just had to go and get some civilian involved.” A fourth voice joined the argument. “What were you thinking bringing her back here?” 

“They saw her face, if we had secured them all, I wouldn’t have had to bring her back here.” The first voice, the familiar one, defended. _You, they were talking about you_ At least you had someone defending you. 

“So this chick being involved is my fault too now?” The sarcastic voice piped up again just as the group behind the door descended into chaos, talking over one another. 

At this point you pushed the door slightly, pleased when it swung freely without a noise. You cautiously took a step into the room and found four people arguing, some of which looked like they were ready to start throwing punches. Eyebrows raised, you leaned back against the door jam, arm still wrapped protectively around your side. This was not something you wanted to get involved with but after searching the floor you doubted you’d find answers anywhere else. Better wait until tensions eased.

A man who until now had been sitting back, arms crossed, watching the scene unfold before him finally noticed your presence. He cleared his throat and stood. “Guys,” his voice was quiet, but once he stepped forward the others turned to look at you. The silent tension that reached you was worse than the previous shouting. 

The only face you recognized was Tony Stark’s. Even someone like you who avoided the news as much as possible couldn’t escape pop culture completely. Taking a moment, you looked at each of the others standing before you. Each had various cuts and bruises showing, none looked dire. None of them seemed pleased to see you, though the blond man you remembered from the street at least made a halfhearted attempt to remove the anger from his face. You were surprised that he was even standing after what you saw him go through. 

“Just exactly how long have you been there?” Stark glared over at you. 

“Long enough to know I want nothing to do with any of… this,” you waved your free hand vaguely. “If you could point me to my bag, my clothes and the door please?” You raised your eyebrows expectantly. “Look, I don’t want any trouble, I just want to go home,” you added trying to appease the angry group in front of you.

“With all do respect,” the man with the glasses started towards you, “You uh, you’re not in any shape to be going anywhere for a while,” he put his hands, palms toward you when he saw you stiffen and back away. “Just, sit.” He pulled out a chair. You weren’t willing to admit it but you were relieved to be told to sit, you were reaching the end of your strength.

“We also can’t let you leave until we know whether or not you’re a target.” The blond man spoke up. Steve, he had said his name was Steve. “Some of the ones who saw you helping me managed to escape. We can’t be sure they won’t come back for you.” He seemed apologetic.

“Can you just, tell me who you are, who they were?” Your head was pounding and you leaned forward to rest it in your hands, pushing your long hair back out of your face. “My head’s already spinning, I can’t take more of this ‘them’ ‘us’ ‘me’ game.” There was a moment of shocked silence.

“Oh sweetheart,” Stark spoke up, “you mean you don’t know who we are? Not even gonna guess?” His voice oozed sarcasm. Your eyes came up and met his, unafraid. You’ve dealt with patients, doctors, and everyone else who made the mistake of not taking you seriously. He was no different.

“First, I’m not you’re ‘sweetheart.’” Your face was even, your voice matter of fact and you meant business. “Second, I know who _you_ are, Mr. Stark so whatever this is, can’t be good. Third, all I did was try to help someone who I saw _fall out of a building_. Why exactly am I being punished?” Your eyes never left his.

“Ooh, she’s a firecracker. I like her,” Stark put forward his best charm and sarcasm. “And she knows me! Nothing but good things I hope. Please, Mr. Stark was my father, its Tony,” He turned to Steve. “She was wearing scrubs when you brought her in right? Doctor, nurse? Naughty nurse?” His gaze returned to you, eyebrows raised. You wanted to wipe that smirk off his face and would have if you thought you could stand up. You settled for a glare which made him take a step back. Stark picked up his drink in one hand and gestured dramatically to the others. “I present, the Avengers.” He waited expectantly for your reply. 

You sat there, stunned for a moment. Your lips formed an “O” for a split second before you burst into a fit of laughter. It’s safe to say the others were not expecting your response. Your laughing fit was short lived as the pain in your side flared causing you to close your eyes and take several slow deep breaths. “Oh this is rich,” you mumbled. 

You’d been called in to help with the massive patient overflow from the events in New York. It had taken many of your patients months to become rehabilitated, some would never fully heal. You knew the Avengers were the ones who had saved the city, Stark in particular, and that they had not caused the attack. But you studiously avoided the news and the hype of the Avengers. You knew only what made its way through gossip and loud news articles, hence your knowledge of Stark, it was a rare week that he wasn’t in the media in some form or another. 

“Something funny?” Steve asked, eyebrows raised. He seemed honestly perplexed at your response. 

“Steve, you said your name was Steve… so you’re… _Captain America?_ ” He chuckled and shrugged. 

“Yeah, I guess I am.” Steve pointed to the woman and man who had watched the exchange silently so far. “Natasha Romanov and Clint Barton.” He confirmed and then raised his other hand to the final man in the room. “Dr. Banner – who worked on you for a few hours after we got you back here.” He added with eyebrows raised. You felt your cheeks warm at the unspoken rebuke that you hadn’t asked or thanked who helped you.

“Thank you, Dr. Banner,” you looked towards the man in the glasses who gave a half smile. 

“Bruce, please.” He gave a kind, awkward smile, trying to ease the tension that lingered in the room.

“(Y/N),” you responded in kind.

“Oh we know,” Stark spoke up. Before you could question he held out his hands, palms toward you and wiggled his fingers. Of course, fingerprints, background checks, you were in the system.

An uncomfortable silence followed as each person present tried to figure out the best way to proceed. It was Natasha who finally broke the silence. 

“Alright, what do we do with her.” She sighed, placing a hand on her hip. “What?” she asked, completely matter of fact when Steve gaped at her.

“No, no it’s a good question,” you interrupted as Steve was about to speak. “Are we anywhere near where you fell? Can I take a cab back to my apartment?” When Bruce was about to remind you, you held up a hand. “So I can at least get some clothes, a toothbrush, normal human things?” You tried your best to keep your sarcasm to a minimum.

“We have normal human things here,” Stark spoke up. “And as for clothes, well, that, looks…great,” he gestured vaguely up and down your body to the hospital clothes you had been changed into. You began to wonder who it was that changed you as there was only one woman present but refused to let your mind go down that path for now. 

You changed your tactic. “It’s quiet outside.” You spoke after a moment. “We’re not downtown anymore are we.” The others just shook their head. “This building is empty, isn’t it.” Again, there were synchronous nods. “You aren’t going to tell me…” before you finished there were shaking heads. “Damnit, I’ve been abducted by crazy people.” You wiped a hand over your face and leaned back.

It was Clint who finally spoke up. “Well, can’t argue with that statement sweethea… (Y/N),” a smile tugged at the corner of your mouth. “I think you’re all forgetting we’ve been ordered to stay put. There’s not a lot to discuss at this point.” He raised his eyebrows waiting for his statement to sink in. “Until we hear otherwise, we assume the safe house is secure and we keep it that way. No one leaves, no one comes in.” You realized you were included in that blanket statement. 

Your eyes were getting heavy and the room was beginning to spin. Bruce’s concerned look vaguely registered with you as you put your head in your hands, elbows resting on your knees. You were starving, nauseated, dizzy, and exhausted. You didn’t even know how long you’d been here. “How long was I out,” you mumbled. The others in the room raised their eyebrows at the abrupt change in conversation.

“Uhh about 12 hours?” Steve said looking sidelong at Bruce who glanced at his watch and nodded. 

That explained some of it. “I just, I really want to sleep,” your voice was slurred and sounded foreign even to your own ears. When you stood you realized you had made a horrible mistake. You stumbled forward and landed against someone’s chest, your hands grasping at their upper arms for support. Bruce’s voice came from beside you, “We need to get her laying down, she shouldn’t be up,” he urged. You looked up and saw Steve looking down at you, concern etched across his face as he glanced to the doctor and nodded. 

“I got her,” Steve’s voice resonated against your cheek which was now against his chest. This is ridiculous, I can walk, really! You were giving rational arguments left and right when you felt the world go sideways. “She’s out…” Steve said over her shoulder to Bruce as he lowered you to the ground. 

“Feet up,” Bruce started but the others rolled their eyes. This wasn’t the first time any of them had taken care of an unconscious person before, nor would it be the last. Usually it was one of the others in the room who was the subject of care. Within minutes you had been moved to a couch, your feet raised and a cold cloth was soaking your forehead. Shortly after, your eyes cracked open and you groaned. 

“Please don’t say it was another 12 hours,” you joked, moving to sit up. This time Bruce was there to put a restraining hand on your shoulder.

“You’re a nurse, right? What would you say to a patient who had a pretty severe head injury and what I’m going to guess is a couple of cracked ribs, who tried to get up and walk?” His look was accusatory. 

You chucked and shrugged as well as you could against the pressure of Bruce’s hands. “You know what they say, nurses make the worst patients.” You smirked and you could hear Stark bark a laugh in the background. Steve only looked frustrated at your lack of compliance. “Alright, alright I’ll stay put,” you held your hands up in surrender. You left unsaid whether you were referring to this moment, on this couch or to the situation in general, but your agreement seem to appease the group. 

Through the fog of your injured head, you thought back to the conversation regarding the current situation. You couldn’t imagine being holed up in this building with a group of frustrated individuals some of which were prone to violence. You looked over at Steve again, remembering how you landed yourself in this situation to begin with. He caught you looking and gave a halfhearted smile you thought was meant to comfort you. There was nothing good that could come of any of this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback is greatly appreciated! Do people prefer long chapters, short chapters, mix of both? Let me know!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Avengers and the reader admit that there is nothing to do but wait for orders.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slight warning - the reader has a panic attack and a flashback to the first chapter.

“Well, no use sitting around staring at each other,” Tony stood and picked up his drink. “I’ll be in the lab.” He raised his glass without looking back as he walked out the door. You couldn’t wrap your mind around how big this place must be, particularly since it was supposedly as ‘safe house.’ _Medical facilities, laboratory, what else?_ you thought to yourself. 

One by one the group trickled out of the meeting room. It was obvious that no one would be leaving the building until orders from superiors were received. There was no telling how long it would be before instructions were sent. The stiff couch was becoming increasingly uncomfortable and by the time it was only Steve and yourself left in the room, you were having difficulty breathing laying down with the tight bandages that secured your ribs. 

“I don’t mean to sound like a diva or anything…” you pushed yourself up on an elbow to look over at Steve, “but is there a better place for me to rest? Maybe a place to watch a movie, or do you have a library so I can read? Something?” You didn’t mention the increasing pain along your side and head. Steve chuckled and nodded. 

“Yea, there are a few rooms that could work. Follow me,” he tilted his head towards the door and started to leave. You pushed yourself up to your feet but quickly reached to steady yourself against the large conference table. When Steve looked back to check that you were following and saw you struggle, his brow furrowed. Wordlessly, he placed a hand under your elbow to help support you as you walked. You muttered your thanks as the two of you made your way out of the conference room. Each step increased the pounding in your head. You didn’t want to admit it, but all you could think about was how good it would be to get comfortable and rest. 

Steve ushered you into a room at the end of another deserted hallway that had a plush leather couch with a modest television mounted on the opposite wall. It wasn’t a large room, but the furniture there embodied comfort. _Not your standard issue crash pad_ you thought to yourself, not that you knew anything besides what movies depicted safe houses to look like. You were just thankful you weren’t being banished to some far corner room with only a gurney and scratchy hospital blanket.

“No cable, but there are some DVDs over there and uh, I’m sure there are some books I could find somewhere if you really have your heart set on reading,” he added trying to think of how he might accomplish this. Half way to the couch you hesitated and looked back to Steve. 

“Uh, is there a bathroom nearby?” _Really, you were going to be embarrassed about asking for a bathroom?_ you mentally shook yourself, taking a deep breath, keeping you blushing cheeks to a minimum. “I’d rather not get settled in only to have to inevitably get up in 5 minutes,” you added with a nervous laugh. Steve laughed and nodded.

“Understandable,” he turned and pointed to a door on the other side of the room. “Through there.” He gave you a polite smile which you returned before carefully making your way across the room. You managed to make it to the door on your own with minimal dizziness and you relished this small victory. Glancing back you saw Steve take a seat on the arm of the couch. You wondered if he had been instructed to keep an eye on you. A case could easily be made that it was necessary because of your current physical condition though you suspected it was far more likely to keep you from stumbling across any secrets. You still weren’t sure if you were a patient, a victim, or a prisoner. It was likely you were seen as all three depending on which member of the Avengers was asked. 

Entering the bathroom, you let out a low whistle. _This is resort quality…_ you thought to yourself. There was a cushioned chair and vanity, spacious sink, tub, shower – you wouldn’t be surprised to find a mini fridge stocked with wine. _Probably not…as much as Stark might try to make the case that it was an essential need_. After using the toilet, you went to the sink and washed your hands. A quick glance in the mirror confirmed that you looked like hell. Even though you knew it wouldn’t do much for your appearance, you leaned forward and splashed some cool water on your face. At least you’d feel better. Closing your eyes and wiping away some of the grime with damp hands, you repeated this several times. Finally, you reached for the hand towel, dried your face and began to blot at the drops that ran down your neck. When your eyes fell on the marks on your neck, you stopped and leaned forward to inspect them. 

Slowly, you turned your head to the side and wiped the towel a bit harder against the smudge you saw on the side of your neck. Pain at the contact startled you and you leaned forward to inspect the dusky area. As you looked closely at your neck, you could make out long red and purple lines and carefully ran a finger over them. You placed your fingers over the four long lines on the one side of your neck, and turning your head, you found your thumb matched the mark on the opposite side. Bruises, deep ones, from that man’s hand as he prepared to kill you. Tightness in your chest threatened to overwhelm you and you choked back a sob. You were suddenly back in the alley, the man’s hand on your throat, squeezing, cutting off your air. Panic took over and your whole body began to shake, tears filling in your eyes as you suddenly fell to the floor, pushing with your feet to put your back against the far wall. You pulled your knees up to your chest and held them and you shook, gasping for air over and over again. A knock at the door startled you further causing you to bring your hands up over your face and head.

“(Name)?” you heard Steve on the other side of the door. “Is everything alright? I – I thought I heard you fall?” uncertainty clear in his voice. When you didn’t answer, he knocked again, this time louder. You opened your mouth to reply that you were okay but only a strangled sound came out. “(Name)?” Another pause. “I’m coming in,” he said and slowly opened the door. When he didn’t see you, Steve stepped all the way into the bathroom, confusion plain on his face. “What, where--?” he started and then heard your whimper behind him where you were pressed into the corner behind the door. Turning, he saw your panicked eyes locked on him, your body trembling, one hand now pressed against your neck, the other wrapped around your chest. “My gosh,” he started and knelt down in front of you. 

As Steve approached, all you could see was the man in the alleyway closing in on you, sneering, cutting off your air. Steve slowed, and put his hands up, palms out to you and sat back on his heels. “(Name), it’s me, it’s Steve.” He tried to reassure you, bring you back to reality. “(Name), I need you to calm down, you’re safe here, do you understand? You’re safe,” he assured you once again. Your eyes settled on his and the rest of his face slowly came into focus. 

The dark features of the man in the alley gave way to blond hair, blue eyes, and a gentle voice. You took a deep, breath and let your eyes lock with his and gave an almost imperceptible nod. Steve took this as permission and moved closer to you, taking your hand away from your neck to press it tight to his chest. “With me, (Name),” he encouraged and took an exaggerated slow, deep breath. You copied his movement and he murmured encouragement until your breathing was closer to normal. 

The two of you sat like this for quite some time until your panic became manageable. “Steve?” you could hardly recognize your voice as his name left your lips with a sob. He nodded and a brief smile ghosted across his face.

“Yeah, it’s Steve,” he said as he continued to hold your hand to his chest. “Keep breathing,” he urged but you fell forward against him, a cry ripping from your throat. He let you lean against him, sitting on the ground as tremors and sobs wracked your body. Steve gingerly pulled you to his chest and ran a comforting hand up and down your back. “It’s okay, I’ve got you,” he said quietly, just letting you cry. 

You don’t know how long you sat there on the bathroom floor with Steve, but by the time your sobs quieted to deep breaths your head felt as if it had been slammed into the floor several more times. Embarrassed, you carefully pushed yourself away from Steve to sit on your own, wiping your eyes with the back of your hand. 

“I’m so sorry…” you started and Steve laughed, he actually laughed.

“Why are you sorry… I was beginning to worry you were going to pretend nothing had happened.” His quiet laugh put an awkward smile on your face. “You were taking things just a little too well,” he added. He offered you his hand as he stood up and you gratefully accepted. 

Steve escorted you to the couch. You were too exhausted to protest the fact that he was supporting nearly all your weight as you walked across the room. Once seated, Steve covered you with a soft blanket. “Did you still want to watch a movie?” he asked, watching you struggle to keep your eyes open. 

“I don’t know…something to listen to would be nice I think,” your words were beginning to slur with fatigue as you leaned your head back. 

Steve shook his head with a kind smile. “How about I pick one out for you?” He asked as he moved to the case of DVDs. You simply nodded your head. Turning on the TV and DVD player, Steve slipped the disk in and put the remote next to your hand. “Just give a call, one of us will be nearby…” he said and started to leave.

“Wait…” you sat forward more alert. Did you really want to pester this man further? He had much better things to do with his time, and you were not his responsibility beyond keeping you away from anything confidential. You were still considering the wisdom and potential for embarrassment when you spoke without waiting for your mind to catch up. “Would you sit here? Please?” The idea of being alone so soon after finally registering the magnitude of what you’d gone through was terrifying.

“I can do that, ma’am.” His face was kind as he sat down next to you. You expected pity and irritation at the inconvenience. His patience with you, a relative stranger, was astounding.

“Thanks,” you said leaning back into the couch once more. Carefully you turned so your back was against the arm rest of the couch and your knees were bent up almost to your chest so you could lean sideways into the back of the couch. Steve sat down on the section next to you, and as you heard the beginning of The Wizard of Oz play quietly in the background you were dimly aware of your legs being lifted to rest across Steve’s lap as you drifted off to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really hope you guys are enjoying this! Feedback is great and muchly appreciated!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SHIELD is not likely to let the Reader go, particularly when new intelligence regarding her comes to light.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a heads up - I’m going to switch to the Third Person POV for times when the reader is either not in the room, asleep, etc. If it really doesn’t work and distracts from the story, please let me know and I’ll figure out a way to fix it. Thanks! Also, after re-reading these posted chapters a few times I’ve realized that they could definitely use some more editing, so I’m going to spread out posting chapters in an attempt to get them a bit more polished.

Steve sat on the couch next to (Name). Throughout the movie, he had shifted along with her, getting more comfortable. (Name) had fallen into a deep sleep and sank deeper into the couch, slowly stretching out further. He had debated whether or not he should leave her to sleep on the couch in peace but was glad he had abandoned the idea at her first nightmare. Steve had just pressed “play” to restart the movie for when he thought (Name) had woken up. Turning, he saw her eyes closed and brow furrowed. 

“(Name)?” Steve said quietly, not sure if you were awake. When (name) began mumbling he could only make out ever few words, but when she said “no, please” slightly louder, he reached over to place a hand on her forearm. “(Name), wake up,” he said quietly. (Name) tried to pull her arm away from Steve and her quiet words became groans as she started to thrash her arms. Before he knew it, (Name) had yanked her arm free and was about to roll off the couch. Turning, he managed to get his arm around her side with his hand flat between her shoulder blades. “Wake up!” he said a little more forcefully.   
“It’s a dream, (Name),” he added when he saw (Name’s) eyes start to open, confusion evident as looked around the room. 

\-- Reader POV

In a fraction of a second, you had gone from desperately trying to escape an unseen attacker to finding yourself halfway off of a couch, with Steve leaning over you. After several long seconds your breathing returned to normal and you gave an embarrassed half smile to Steve. Carefully, you pulled yourself back onto the couch. Once he was sure you weren’t in danger of falling, Steve removed his hand and sat back up. He seemed very self-conscious as he pulled away from you and his hands searched for an appropriate place to rest. Apparently your shin would suffice. 

“Sorry, I didn’t kick you or anything, did I?” you raised your eyebrows and put on your best façade of nonchalance to ease the awkwardness of the situation. Steve shook his head and opened his mouth to add something when a voice spoke up from behind you.

“Oh isn’t this adorable!” Stark leaned against the door frame with a smirk. Confused at first you looked to Steve who was studiously avoiding Stark’s eyes as he carefully lifted your legs from across his lap. You must’ve stretched out in your sleep. You were mortified, and of course it had to be Stark who saw. “Do you two need a moment?” You didn’t need to turn to look at Stark to know what look was plastered on his face. Sleepily, you wiped a hand over your own and stretched, following Steve’s example of ignoring Tony. “Conference room in 5.” Stark called over his shoulder as he made his way out of the room failing to get a reaction from the two of you.

When you were sure Tony was out of sight and ear shot you covered your face with both hands before looking apologetically to Steve through your fingers. “I am so sorry, I didn’t mean to put my legs in your lap or anything… you didn’t need to stay, I was asleep—“ you began to ramble uneasily. You didn’t know this man and using some fabricated bond over a near death experience to justify any closeness felt ridiculous. You were a grown woman, you had your boundaries and you respected others’. The body language you saw earlier from Steve when you woke from your nightmare up embodied discomfort which was why you were stunned into silence when he raised his eyebrows and suppressed a smirk at your rambling outburst.

“That’s just Tony for you,” he stood and held his hand out for you to take, smoothly helping you to your feet. You studied his face again, confused when you saw his cheeks flush. “No, you didn’t.” _I didn’t what_ you thought, raising an eyebrow. “Put your legs over me- I did,” he pressed his lips together in a line. “You fell asleep in a ball,” he hastily added to explain his actions. “It looked uncomfortable, I hope I didn’t overstep,” he finished slipping back into formality. 

“No, no… you’re… it’s fine.” You gave a tight lipped smile and dipped your head. “You should probably get to that meeting,” you folded your arms over your chest, shrugging your shoulders. “Find out if I can get home any time soon.” A quiet laugh from Steve eased the tension between you and he turned to leave.

“Someone will be by later –“ Steve started before being interrupted by a voice outside the door.

“Aw, c’mon Cap, bring buttercup along!” Steve looked at the ceiling in exasperation.

“Tony—“ he warned before gesturing for you to head to the door, holding it open as you passed through.

You subconsciously wrapped an arm around your ribs to protect them as you followed Tony back to the conference room, Steve slightly behind you to your right. When you walked through the door, you saw Clint, Natasha and Bruce already seated at the table. Natasha and Clint shared a look while Bruce simply raised his eyebrows and looked past your shoulder to Steve. Before any major objections to your presence could be spoken, the speaker phone in the middle of the conference table rang and Tony reached out to answer. While quick greetings were exchanged, Steve pulled a chair back for you to sit before taking his own place at the table. 

“So does someone want to explain just what the hell happened?” an irritated voice came over the speaker. 

“Bad intel,” Natasha said simply, as if that was an adequate summary. When the other end of the line remained silent, Tony cleared his throat.

“We were funneled into a corner and so I improvised,” Tony said proudly. “No casualties, we’re all fine by the way.” The room remained silent and it was impossible to ignore the growing tension. The team looked to one another waiting for someone to speak up.

“Sir,” you heard Steve to your left lean forward against the conference table, “We’re awaiting new orders.”

A heavy sigh came through the speaker. “All of you are damn lucky this turned out to be a minor threat.” The tension eased out of Steve’s shoulders and there was a collective moment of relief throughout the room. “Get yourselves home. Debriefing at 2300.” 

“Yes, Sir,” Steve said followed by a commotion of movement as everyone stood, ready to leave.

“One other thing before you go,” the speaker came back to life and each person in the room froze. “Just who is (First Name, Last Name) and why do we have intel from HYDRA that says she’s a member of SHIELD, when _we_ don’t have any record of her here?” You raised your eyebrows and looked over to Steve. Out of the corner of your eye you saw Natasha pinch the bridge of her nose and Clint lean forward for her to tell him what was said. 

“Uh, Director, that’d be (first name),” Steve said running a hand up and down the back of his head. “She got mixed up in the crossfire,” he shrugged looking at the others for help. Bruce didn’t look inclined to provide him any assistance in dealing with Director while Tony and Clint looked downright amused.

A grunt of acknowledgement came through the receiver. “You know the drill, explain her options to her, and get back to Hill.” There was a click and the group seemed to have an entire conversation without speaking a word. One by one, each person made their way to the door until it was just you and Steve standing in front of the table. Steve looked at his hands and shook his head before glaring at the empty door. 

“That did not sound promising,” you finally spoke up. 

“No, not if you had any plans to go back to your regular life,” his voice was grim.

You raised an eyebrow at this and folded your arms. “Oh I have every intention of returning to my life. In fact, right now seems like the perfect opportunity.” Heading out the door you looked up and down the long hallway trying to remember where the medical room you came from was. Steve followed quickly on your heels and before you could put much distance between you, he grabbed your elbow. You gave a pointed look at the hand that held you in place. Before you could level your glare directly at Steve he released your arm, clearing his throat.

“Sorry,” he stepped back to give you some space. “Please, this is important,” he urged when you remained unmoved.

“No,” you cut him off. “Whatever this is,” you gestured vaguely, “might be important, but so am I. I have my own life and just because I made the stupid mistake of sticking my nose where it doesn’t belong doesn’t mean I don’t get to pick up exactly where I left off.” The amount of anger in your voice surprised you. Taking a deep breath you continued, “Just…give me my things and let me go.” It was all you could do to turn and walk calmly on your search for medical room three. 

Steve remained fixed in place, stunned by your outburst. “(Name),--“ he called after you.

“Don’t,” you turned, holding your hand toward him. The look of concern and pain written on his face made you pause. Your jaw clenched as you searched for a response to such a look, but finally gave up, returning to your search, grateful that he didn’t follow. 

\- 3rd Person POV

Steve watched as (Name) left. He knew he had to explain the situation to her, the danger she would find herself in shortly. Fury’s instructions, brief as they were, were clear and left no room for interpretation. Gathering his resolve, Steve started down the hallway after (Name) when he felt a hand on his shoulder.

“I’ll talk to her,” Natasha said stepping past him. When Steve tried to protest Natasha shook her head. “Steve, you’ve been hovering since she got here. Trust me, the girl needs some space.”

“She’s here because she thought she needed to save me,” Steve looked at Natasha. “She had no idea who I was, she just thought someone needed help. Now she’ll have HYDRA stalking her.” Natasha’s eyes softened as guilt settled over Steve’s face. 

“We’ll keep her safe,” Natasha said before making her way down the hall to find (Name).

(Name) had left the door partly open and was looking through every drawer and cupboard she could find, searching for her things. Natasha watched her for a minute before stepping into the room, the door squeaking quietly as she closed it behind her.

“Steve, I’m really not interested in what you have to say right now,” (Name)’s muttered, as she slammed the empty drawer she was looking in. “Damnit.” She stood up, hesitating when she saw Natasha standing by the door. “Sorry, I thought you were—“

“Steve, yeah I got that,” Natasha went to one of the locked drawers (Name) had been unable to get into earlier. Pulling out a key, she made quick work of opening the drawer and presenting (Name) with her work bag. (Name) took it, staring at her hands. “I know Steve can be,” she searched for the right word, “ _intense_ when it comes to protecting, serving, following orders. Let me explain your options to you and if you don’t agree, I’ll take you home. No questions asked, no tricks, just home and back to life as you know it.” She sat in the chair near the door gesturing for (Name) to sit on the bed opposite her. 

“You’ll let me go, just like that?” (Name) sat back on the bed, placing her bag next to her.

“Just like that,” Natasha confirmed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, feedback is greatly appreciated! Any and all forms of constructive criticism, ideas for things you might want to see, I'm interested in all of it! Much love!


	5. Conflict of Interest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Getting back to a semblance of normalcy can be dangerous, if its accompanied by complacency.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m breaking the cardinal rule of writing, but I’m switching to 3rd Person POV. It will still be a reader-insert I promise! It will just be less awkward for writing. It's a nice long chapter to make up for it :)

(y/n) was skeptical; assassins weren’t known for their honesty or for being straightforward. “Alright,” she folded her legs under herself. _This should be interesting_ (y/n) thought to herself. 

Natasha took (y/n)’s silence as permission to proceed. “SHIELD apparently heard that HYDRA saw you with Steve,” She held up a hand when (y/n) started to ask a question. “It’ll make sense, just let me get through it. The people who attacked Steve… and you, were part of a larger attack we were working to get under control,” Natasha explained. “Unfortunately, things didn’t go as planned. Several got away.” She leaned forward, elbows on her knees. She waited for the gravity of what she just said to sink in.

“I’m not anyone they need to worry about.” (y/n) worked to keep her voice even.

“Even so, they saw you helping Steve, they saw you leave with us. At the very least, you’re a source of information, however limited that may be. They’re desperate, and that makes you a target.” Natasha didn’t sugar coat the situation. “I promise (y/n), you do not want them to get ahold of you.” The hair on the back of (y/n)’s neck stood up. 

“I don’t have any kind of information to give, Steve saw to that,” (y/n) muttered looking at her hands folded neatly in her lap. He’d followed (y/n) closely from the time she awoke until the point she stormed off. When Natasha remained silent, (y/n) glanced up and saw amusement in her eyes. “Honestly, I’m not a threat to anyone.” 

“No, you’re not. Except that you've been inside a SHIELD safe house, HYDRA is under the impression you’re at the very least a shield ally, and they’ll get to you any way they can,” she leaned forward to regain (y/n)’s undivided attention. “Anything, (y/n), family and friends included.” That made (y/n) pause. 

“So what are my options?” (y/n) finally asked.

“Officially? Join SHIELD in some fashion or enter a form of witness protection—new identity, the works,” Natasha sat back in her chair and crossed her legs. “Unofficially, you ‘escape’ and we wash our hands of the consequences you face. We know that there’s nothing HYDRA can get from you, so if you were to fall into their hands, no skin off our backs.” 

(y/n) forced herself to swallow. The harsh reality Natasha was explaining made her mouth suddenly dry. “Do I have to decide now?” (y/n)’s voice was hollow.

“By the time I take you to your apartment to get your things I’ll need an answer.” She stood and opened the door, waiting for (y/n) to follow. 

(y/n) were surprised when she headed the opposite way of the rooms she had been in before; (y/n) had expected to say some sort of goodbye to the others. Mentally (y/n) berated herself, she didn’t know them and the only one who she’d spent any amount of time with she had turned on. If (y/n) were Steve, she wouldn’t have wanted anything further to do with herself either. Several flights of stairs and hidden doors later, the pair reached a tunnel. At this point (y/n) was winded and having difficulty keeping up with Natasha. It wasn’t until she had fallen quite a distance behind that Natasha noticed (Name’s) condition and waited. “They really did get a good piece of you,” she said thoughtfully, taking in (Name’s) labored breathing when she finally caught up. “Broken ribs are a bitch,” (y/n) nodded silently her agreement.

After what felt like hours later, (y/n) emerged with Natasha a few streets away from where Steve had fallen. The number of twists and turns and offshoots Natasha had taken through the tunnels made (y/n)’s head spin and she knew if she were to ever make her way back there she’d never see the light of day again without a guide. 

“Your turn to take the lead, (y/n),” Natasha raised her eyebrows. (y/n) shifted her bag over her shoulder and made her way towards her apartment building. The midday bustle of the streets felt too normal. (y/n) was surrounded by people going about normal life and they had no idea of the things she had been though and seen just a short while ago. _Only a few more blocks,_ (y/n) thought. When (y/n) reached her building, Natasha insisted on accompanying (y/n) to her apartment, reminding (y/n) that her name was known and there might be some nasty surprise waiting there. (y/n) hadn’t thought of that and began to rethink her decision.

Natasha took the key (y/n) offered and opened the door, producing a handgun from the small of her back. (y/n) followed her into the entryway where Natasha held up a hand for her to wait. After searching the modest apartment room by room, Natasha declared it safe. (y/n) sighed, letting her bag fall to the floor and lightly kicked the door shut. 

“So, what’s it gonna be, (y/n)?” Natasha said putting her gun away. 

“It’s not a hard decision, I just want to live my normal life.” Natasha didn’t seem surprised by (y/n)’s decision in the least. 

“Give your friends and family a heads up to watch for anyone following or watching them. A stalker is an easy cover story to go with.” (y/n) thanked the redhead as she opened the door pausing, “You might want to think about getting a new place. Sooner rather than later.” Natasha gave (y/n) a sharp look and (y/n) could only nod her understanding. “Take care, (y/n),” she said over her shoulder, making her way to the stairs. “Oh,” she added, leaning back towards her door, “Don’t take it out too hard on Steve,” she raised an eyebrow and tilted her head before disappearing in the stairwell.

(y/n) closed the door, locked the doorknob and threw the deadbolt before leaning heavily against it. Slowly she sank to the floor and pulled her knees to her chest. The past 24 hours ran through her mind over and over again along with her decision to stay. It was either the smartest, or the dumbest move of all time. When the light outside began to grow dim, (y/n) finally pulled herself to her feet, turning every single light in the apartment on. As she moved from room to room, (y/n) checked to make sure each window was securely closed, locked and drew the curtains. (y/n) had a feeling even a ninth story apartment would do little to deter whoever this HYDRA was. On the other hand, all of it could simply be a ruse to keep (y/n) quiet. Either way, (y/n) had no intention of telling anyone what she had experienced or seen. 

A quick glance at her phone reveals no calls or texts and (y/n) flipped to the alarm and set it for the next morning. There was still a shift to be worked. Changing out of the white tee shirt and drawstring pants she had been changed into, (y/n) unbound her ribs. She frowned at the black and blue bruise that mottled her side. _Maybe they’ll float me to peds tomorrow,_ (y/n) sighed before stepping into the shower. (y/n) carefully washed, avoiding the stitches in her arm wincing each time she had to twist or stretch her torso. Drying off was difficult, but manageable as was pulling a loose tee shirt over her head. After another search of the windows and locks in the apartment, (y/n) slid under the covers of the bed, leaving every light on. 

As (y/n) lay in bed, she thought back to her last encounter with Steve, how she’d treated him. Embarrassment flooded her body and (y/n) cringed as her harsh words played over again in her mind. He’d never been anything but polite and kind to (y/n) and she turned on him. The likelihood that there would ever be a chance to apologize to him was minimal. Perhaps that was for the best. 

(y/n) jumped when her morning alarm went off on the bedside table. With a groan, (y/n) held her side rolling out of bed, silencing the phone. She felt like hell but couldn’t afford a sick day right now. Falling back into her morning routine, (y/n) made her way to the hospital, altering her route slightly to avoid passing the alleyway from the other night. Fortunately, (y/n) was floated to the pediatric unit upon arriving at work. Minimal lifting, (y/n) breathed a sigh of relief. After taking report, (y/n) began her rounds, looking over her shoulder waiting to see some dangerous looking man around every corner. But the entire shift went smoothly and before she knew it, (y/n) was back in her apartment. 

This pattern continued for two weeks and (y/n) had managed to put the entire incident behind her. It felt like a dream at this point, (y/n) had even forgone looking through the paper for available apartments to rent. Occasionally (y/n) dreamt of that night and awoke to a brightly lit apartment. So it was almost behind her. (y/n) wondered absently if she’d ever sleep with the lights off again. 

Being able to function without every movement causing pain was a relief but (y/n) still favored her side and coworkers began to notice, particularly as she was floated back to other floors.  
(y/n) made her way to the emergency department upon receiving her assignment and smiled at a fellow nurse. (y/n) had worked with her on a number of occasions in the ED. She was good, and it was a relief to work with her. 

“(y/n)! I’d thought You’d abandoned us!” she joked pushing the supply drawer shut with her hip, arms laden with dressing supplies. 

“Never, Lindsey!” (y/n) replied heading to the lockers to stow her bag. A code on the floor had (y/n) running as soon as she stepped out of the break room. When she stepped up for her turn for compressions (y/n) cursed under her breath. Each compression sent a stab of pain through her side which she did her best to ignore. At the steady beep of the heart monitor, the room heaved a collective sigh, the mad dash over. As (y/n) left, Lindsey followed and tapped her arm. 

“Hey, you alright? You don’t look so hot.” Her question was innocent enough.

“Yeah, I’m good,” (y/n) added a smile for effect hoping she wouldn’t press the issue further. She watched (y/n) thoughtfully but shrugged and headed in the opposite direction to go about completing her work for the shift. 

It wasn’t long before another patient was brought in by ambulance and (y/n) was called in to assist. The man on the table was already surrounded by hospital staff as (y/n) approached, grabbing an IV kit along the way. When she got through and looked down at the patient, the fine hairs on the back of her neck began to stand on end. (y/n) froze as the voice in the back of her head warned of danger. Standing, holding the IV kit, (y/n) stared at the man’s face, she didn’t know him. Looking around at the faces of her coworkers didn’t provide any hints and a glance over her shoulder revealed nothing but an empty doorway and abandoned hallway. No one was out of place. 

Lindsey looked over at (y/n) and called her name several times. “(Last name)! Focus!” Her eyebrows turned down in agitation. (y/n) shook her head and opened the kit in front of her, searching for a vein, forcing herself to focus on the task at hand. Just as (y/n) finished with the IV, she saw a figure out of the corner of her eye lean to look in the window of the room. Paranoia be damned something was up and (y/n) was going to stay out of it.

“I – I have to go, I’ll send someone else in.” (y/n) heard her name called once but were already striding down the hallway. A hand reached around (y/n), clamping down on her mouth, muffling the scream that tried to escape. Wide eyed she clawed at the arm and kicked but was swiftly pulled into an empty room and pushed up against the wall. (y/n) couldn’t see his face. Eyes wide, she shook her head against the man’s hand pleading. 

“Shhh, it’s me,” straining her eyes as the man lifted his head, (y/n) could just make out his face in the darkness. Relief washed over her and she sagged against the wall. Confident (y/n) wouldn’t cry out, the man removed his hand from her mouth.

“Steve, what –“(y/n) bit her tongue, cutting off the tirade she was ready to unleash. 

“No time, we need to leave,” Steve said with a quick glance out the door. (y/n) was about to object when gunshots filled the air. Steve grabbed her hand and ducked out the door pulling (y/n) behind him and through the halls. (y/n) nearly ran into Steve’s back when he stopped short, the hallway ahead blocked with gunmen. It was her turn to lead as (y/n) tugged Steve’s hand, heading back the way they’d come and through a side door (y/n) opened with her keycard. 

(y/n) navigated the hospital, the sound of gunshots and screams fading into the distance, until they reached the maintenance hallway. “Is the entire building surrounded?” (y/n) gasped, one hand braced against her knee, the other holding against the agony in her side. 

“By now? Who knows,” Steve looked back over his shoulder. “This way,” he walked slowly this time, taking her hand once more. Peering around the corner he saw the exit (y/n) had been making for. He hesitated glancing back at (y/n). “We have to run for it, can you make it?” Doubt filled his eyes when he saw the grimace on her face with each breath. 

“No choice,” (y/n) panted giving him a nod. His mouth turned to the side in doubt but options were limited. Breaking into a run, he pulled (y/n) along behind him. Shots rang out the instant (y/n) left the building. The adrenaline pumping through (y/n) had fueled her effort to sprint, trying to keep up with Steve. He stumbled in front of (y/n) and she went sprawling across the concrete, pain vaguely registering before she pushed herself to her feet again, Steve beside her. As (y/n) rounded another corner away from the hospital, Steve guided her towards a tarp. Throwing the tarp aside he jumped onto a motorcycle, kicking it to life as (y/n) climbed on after him. (y/n) wrapped her arms around his stomach, pressing her cheek against his back as he sped off. 

(y/n) let her mind go blank and held on to Steve for dear life. She couldn’t think of the devastation that inevitably filled the emergency department now. Where were the others? This must be some tactical strike for Captain America to be involved. Wrong place, wrong time once again. (y/n) took a shuddering breath against his back and felt him twist to look back at her briefly. That’s when (y/n) realized how inappropriately she held on to him. (y/n) started to loosen her grip, to sit back away from him rather than leaning on him. He allowed (y/n) to sit back but put a hand over hers to keep them firmly around his middle. That made sense, neither were wearing helmets, the result would be devastating if either of them lost balance.

Her eyes widened when she saw the giant tower over Steve’s shoulder. (y/n) almost protested when Steve turned and drove down a ramp into a parking garage under what was formerly known as Stark tower. Wordlessly, Steve parked the motorcycle and helped (y/n) off, taking a quick moment to make sure she kept her footing. The two entered the elevator and he pressed a button, leaning against cool metal of the wall as it skyrocketed up the tower. As the elevator stopped and the doors slid open, Steve waited for (y/n) to exit before following her into a large living space. It seemed completely deserted and (y/n) was about to comment when a voice overhead startled her.

“Welcome home, Mr. Rogers. I’m unfamiliar with your guest?” Steve put a hand out towards (y/n) shaking his head. 

“She’s cleared, Jarvis.” 

“Wonderful, shall I inform the others of her return?” The voice asked. (y/n) leaned forward to catch Steve’s eyes, wordlessly asking for an explanation.

“No, no that’s not necessary, thank you. That will be all Jarvis.”

“As you wish, have a nice afternoon.” The voice shut off and (y/n) raised her eyebrows.

“That’s Jarvis, don’t ask, I don’t even understand yet.” He chucked and stepped towards (y/n). Steve gently took her chin in his fingers and her heart started beating faster. Tilting her head, he frowned. “This needs to be cleaned,” he said quietly. (y/n) reached up and touched her cheek, hissing at the sting. Steve sat (y/n) down on a stool at the kitchen island and retrieved a first aid kit. (y/n) had to admit that it was the most well stocked first aid kit she has ever seen. 

“Do this often?” (y/n) said, looking through the kit as Steve sat in front of her. Their hands touched briefly as they both reached for the antiseptic.

“I got it,” Steve said as he poured the liquid on a piece of gauze and reached out, tenderly blotting her cheek. “Road rash,” he commented and (y/n) remembered skidding across the pavement as they ran. The pain had barely registered at the time. (y/n) was surprised at how gentle he was as he thoroughly cleaned her raw cheek. His face was so close to her’s as he inspected his work; (y/n) could feel his breath as she watched his eyes. When his fingers hit a particularly sensitive spot (y/n) winced. Steve froze his eyes meeting hers briefly before looking away with a hushed apology. (y/n) thought she could see him blushing. He inspected her forearm, providing the same care to her arm and would have proceeded to her knee but (y/n) interrupted him. 

“I can do this one, I think,” her cheeks felt warm and (y/n) was flustered. Steve’s tenderness had caught her by surprise. (y/n) cleaned her raw knees through the holes torn in her scrub pants. “Seems when I’m around you I go through more scrubs than I can afford,” (y/n) huffed but added a quick smile. After she was bandaged up, (y/n) finally looked to Steve, ready to bombard him with questions. She frowned. He was pale and his forehead was covered in small beads of sweat. “Are you okay?” (y/n) asked but soon noticed blood dripping down his wrist to the floor. “You’re bleeding…” her voice was flat as (y/n) leaned forward to see where it was coming from. Steve shied away from her approach.

“I’m okay really. Super Soldier, super healing is one of the perks,” he tried to wave off her concern. 

“At least let me look—“ (y/n) insisted but Steve put his hands up.

“(y/n), I’m fine, really.”

 

“No, you’re not.” When (y/n) saw he was going to continue resisting, she pressed her lips together in annoyance. “You can face a gang of gunmen but not hydrogen peroxide?” Steve laughed but (y/n) could tell he was resolved not be looked at. Raising one eyebrow, (y/n) reached over grabbing a pair of bandage scissors and prepared to cut Steve’s black hoodie off. He grabbed her wrist holding the scissors just as her other hand grabbed ahold of the bottom of his black sweatshirt. 

“You’re a stubborn gal, aren’t you?” (y/n) held his eyes, waiting. With a defeated look he let go of her wrist and unzipped the dark sweatshirt, pulling his arms free of the sleeves. As soon as the sweatshirt was open in the front (y/n) grabbed a pair of gloves and stepped towards Steve. His white tee shirt was covered in blood, surrounding a neat bullet hole leading into his shoulder.

“Steve, you have to get this taken care of,” (y/n) insisted reaching over to grab a gauze pad to press against the bullet hole. 

“I told you, it’ll be fine in a few days,” he shrugged off the injury even as (y/n) stepped closer to him, looking at his back. 

“There’s no exit wound, there’s still a bullet in there,” (y/n) said half to Steve, half to herself. “When you say it’s going to be okay in a few days, does that include you blindly digging around in your shoulder trying to get this thing out yourself?” (y/n) looked down at him. Even sitting, Steve was almost at eye level while (y/n) stood next to him. He gave a guilty look and (y/n) sighed. Reaching for the scissors (y/n) cut his tee shirt up the side and eased it over his shoulder. “Come on, at least let me get it out.” When he didn’t object (y/n) reached for the sealed sterile forceps. After wiping the area with antiseptic, (y/n) carefully grabbed the bullet in Steve’s shoulder, clamping down the forceps. He flinched when she started to pull it out. “Sorry,” (y/n) murmured close to his ear as she leaned in to see better. With the bullet free from Steve’s shoulder, (y/n) placed it and the forceps on the counter. 

(y/n) did her best not to stare at him while she gently wiped the area clean and taped down a dressing over the wound. There was dried blood all the way down his torso and she began to clean down to his waist. (y/n) was on auto pilot at this point, clean the blood, dress the wound. When Steve coughed (y/n) realized what she was doing and her face turned bright red. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean… its second nature at this point I guess,” she stammered, trying to find a safe place for her eyes. When (y/n) finally looked at Steve some color had returned to his cheeks. Whether he had already begun to heal and replenish his blood supply or (y/n) had embarrassed him was anyone’s guess. (y/n) searched for a safe place for her eyes to settle as she took her place on the stool next to Steve once again. Her hands were safe to look at, though they trembled slightly as fatigue set in, the last of the adrenaline fading from her system.

“I promise I wasn’t planning to dig it out with a rusty nail,” Steve broke the long silence. (y/n) laughed, the joke putting her at ease.

“Have some deep seated aversion to medical professionals?” (y/n) raised her eyebrows, daring to look over at Steve with a smile. 

“No, heaven knows I’ve been around my fair share when I was a kid,” he busied himself with putting the first aid kit back to order, avoiding eye contact. 

“Well, you were shot. It isn’t over reacting to see a doctor for something like that,” it was (y/n)’s turn for sarcasm. Steve froze for a moment before finishing his task. “You want to tell me what’s going on?” 

“The attack at the hospital,” Steve started slowly. “It was HYDRA,” he watched (y/n)’s face carefully. 

“I wondered,” the corner of her mouth twitched. “Why else would the Avengers take interest in a local hospital? They’re all okay?” (y/n) leaned against the table. Steve looked uncomfortable and (y/n) spoke his name low in warning.

“Well, they’re fine,” he glanced in (y/n)’s direction before continuing. “They weren’t there,” his eyes held (y/n)’s, gauging her response. 

“I see,” she said quietly. “And what would that have something to this extreme reluctance to get a _bullet wound_ taken care of?” (y/n)’s voice was full of suspicion. Steve wiped a hand over his face and leaned back.

“I broke protocol to get to you,” he tried to brush the subject aside by standing up when (y/n) reached out and took his arm, obviously not satisfied with his answer. 

“Broke protocol as in…” she prompted. Steve stood in front of (y/n) looking down at her. 

“As in defied a direct order,” the two remained fixed in place as the gravity of Steve’s words sunk in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The pacing is going to be pretty slow, things will develop over time as they would a bit more naturally, but if you think things need a little bit more of a kickstart, please *please* let me know! As always, feedback is greatly appreciated! Much love!


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The stress of the past two weeks and the escape from the hospital was bound to catch up with (y/n).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well I hate to say writers block, but that’s kinda where I am. I’m so proud of that last chapter! I’m nervous to keep going! Anyways, this little blurb is literally just to get me sitting here typing so might as well actually get into the story now. Hope you enjoy :) 
> 
> P.S. - Fluff… ALL the fluff!

“Defied a direct order?” (y/n) repeated, over enunciating each word. “I’m not sure how I should feel about that,” she turned and put a hand out to lean on the counter. The situation could be taken several ways, none of which boded well. Steve stood, watching, waiting for her to panic or deny the obvious danger she now found herself in. When the silence stretched on, he shifted, uncomfortable with her lack of response. 

“Guess I chose wrong huh?” (y/n) laughed grimly, her palms beginning to sweat as she leaned over the counter. It seemed that Natasha hadn’t lied. “Going against orders for a civilian you don’t know seems rather,” her mouth scrunched sideways as she searched for the right word, “uncharacteristic of your public persona doesn’t it?” Avoidance it is, Steve took a deep breath. 

“I guess,” he shrugged. “The argument could be made it is very uhh, typical, cliché even.” He crossed his arms and (y/n) had to resist the urge to look over at him, still shirtless. “Rescuing the damsel in distress, innocent civilian, alone, against all odds…” he raised his eyebrows as he mocked his public image. He knew his statement had its intended effect when(y/n) laughed softly.

“Yeah, yeah I can see that,” she nodded her head a few times before taking a deep breath. “I don’t know whether to be flattered that my life has been saved twice by Captain America himself or terrified.” (y/n) pulled her lip through her teeth as she thought about the implications. “What was the order?” she looked to Steve out of the corner of her eye. His face was impassive. When he remained silent, she turned to face him, mirroring him with arms folded across her chest. 

Steve considered his words carefully. He knew her position was precarious; she was considered expendable to one organization, a potential source of information to another. “We received information that you were being watched by HYDRA,” he started slowly. “It wasn’t until this morning that we heard anything about an attack planned on the hospital. Your name was associated with the plans.” (y/n)’s chest felt tight. This whole situation was beyond absurd. She cleared her throat, signaling Steve to continue. “We were told to leave you. Something about a low threat level and minimizing casualties.” (y/n) felt like the ground had disappeared beneath her feet.

“What will they do to you?” (y/n)’s voice was quiet and Steve took a deep breath.

“It’s nothing you need to worry over,” he started but immediately knew he’d made a mistake when (y/n)’s eyes went wide.

“What do you mean, ‘not something I need to worry about’?” Steve stood there, stunned by her outburst. “Some crazy group of what, terrorists, spies, general bad guys, I don’t even know who or what they are, for some reason thinks I’m helping out the government do God knows what and are apparently coming after me personally, assaulted where I work, possibly killed people I know and you say it’s not something that I need to worry about?” (y/n) voice rose in pitch and intensity as she stepped slowly towards Steve who was starting to back away, looking for an escape. He wasn’t prepared for her to turn her anger towards him. Within a few steps, Steve was against the wall, arms at his sides and (y/n) only a step in front of him. Hands curled into fists she reached up to beat against his chest. Steve caught her hands easily and gently restrained her. “I think these things are all very relevant and worthy of my concern!” her chest heaved in ire. “Especially when there’s an attack that, from what you’ve said, had the sole purpose to what – kidnap me? Kill me?” When she finally put words to the very real threat to her life, (y/n) started shaking. “Oh God,” she tried to push back the dread and reached a hand out to steady herself.

When Steve saw (y/n) reach for the wall for support he quickly stepped forward, putting a hand on her waist to steady her. At his touch, she felt hot tears spill over and run down her cheeks. Cautiously, Steve drew her to himself, embracing her when she didn’t lash out. After what seemed an eternity of silent, shaking tears and standing stiffly, (y/n) closed her eyes and hid her face against Steve’s chest. Steve ran his hand up and down (y/n)’s back when he felt her finally wrap her arms around him. It seemed like she was clinging to him for dear life. 

(y/n) wasn't sure how long the two of them stood there. When she finally began to feel steady, she lifted her head off of Steve’s chest, replacing it with her hand. She absently wiped at the few tears remaining on his chest before catching herself. He hadn’t gotten the opportunity to put another shirt on. Upon realizing this, (y/n)’s cheeks flushed and she kept her head down. Steve didn’t seem to mind, or he was just putting his own discomfort at the situation aside to comfort her. That idea brought a small smile to her lips. When Steve registered the change in (y/n) leaning against him, he leaned back to look down at her. 

“What is it?” he asked. (y/n) thought he must think she was insane, or about to break into hysterics. 

“I—nothing,” she said taking a step back breaking the embrace. “You probably want to go put clean clothes on,” (y/n) finally tilted her head back so she could see Steve’s face. 

“Yeah, that’s probably a good idea,” his voice seemed far away and he reluctantly stepped towards his room. When he returned, pulling on a clean tee shirt, he saw (y/n) over by the sink, blotting at the blood and grime covering her scrubs from their escape. “I don’t think I have anything here that would work for you,” he frowned. 

“No its fine, I just—“ (y/n) gestured with the paper towel she held. “It was worth a shot,” she shrugged.

“Do—do you want a shirt at least?” Steve asked. (y/n) looked at him thoughtfully for a moment. 

“Yeah, that’d be nice,” she finally relented and Steve disappeared into his room. When he returned, (y/n) had pulled her scrub top off and her camisole had gotten stuck halfway up her side showing the fading bruises from their last encounter. Steve stared for a moment and shook himself mentally. He tried to convince himself that the bruises were what he was looking at. 

“Here,” he said handing a clean tee shirt and a pair of sweats over to (y/n). “You can try the pants at least, there’s a drawstring and well, at least they’re clean,” he gave (y/n) a quick, tight lipped smile which she returned. “You can change in there for some privacy,” he gestured to his door. 

“Thanks,” (y/n) said lifting the clothes and disappearing into Steve’s room. Shutting the door behind her, she pulled off her bloody clothes and slipped the oversized shirt over her head. It came down to her mid thighs. She looked at the sweats doubtfully and stepped into them. The legs came down well past her feet comically. _Well this certainly isn’t going to work_ she thought, abandoning the sweats. (y/n) Picked up her abandoned scrub pants and turned them over, wondering if she could salvage them, cut them into shorts, anything. They were utterly and completely filthy and she just couldn’t bring herself to put them on again. “Steve?” (y/n) opened the door and leaned out to find Steve sitting on the couch, head back, eyes closed. Opening one eye, he turned slightly so he could see (y/n). He cleared his throat when he saw her only in his tee shirt. 

“Yes?” he finally forced himself to say.

“Shorts?” (y/n) winced not wanting to bother him further.

“Yea, I uh, I should’ve thought of that,” he stammered walking past you. A quick search through his drawer wasn’t fruitful. _She’ll be swimming in these too,_ he sighed to himself before finally offering a pair of boxers. “Sorry,” he blushed.

“That’ll work,” (y/n) took the boxer shorts, and leaned over, stepping into them before Steve had a chance to look away. Steve chastised himself for enjoying the way the hem of the long shirt rode up as she bent forward. “Why are you sorry?” (y/n) looked over, confused when she saw his pink face. 

“Uh, you probably want some food?” he said changing the subject and stepping back towards the kitchen. Neither had realized how late it had gotten. The attack was near the end of (y/n)’s shift and it had been hours since the pair had arrived at the tower. 

“Yeah, maybe,” she yawned. “Something light,” (y/n) wasn’t sure she could stomach anything substantial after everything that happened today. 

Steve went to the pantry and held up a box of pasta. (y/n) nodded in agreement. As Steve put the pot of water on to boil, (y/n) stood beside him, frying ground beef in a pan to add to a jar of tomato sauce. The two worked in relative quiet, and (y/n) couldn’t help but sneak glances over at Steve as he moved about the kitchen. It felt so good to do something normal after such a chaotic day. 

When the pasta had cooked and the sauce heated, each made a plate and sat together at the counter. (y/n) raised her eyebrows when she saw the portion Steve had dished for himself and laughed at his confused expression. “Nothing! Just a healthy appetite?” (y/n) let herself really take in his features for the first time. It was no secret he was undeniably attractive, but what made her pause was the kindness she saw in his eyes. Embarrassed, she looked away and took a mouthful of food. The food was almost gone and (y/n)’s thoughts returned to their almost forgotten argument.

“Why’d you risk everything for me?” She said quietly, eyes fixed on the plate in front of her. When the silence stretched on, (y/n) doubted he would willingly answer the question. Searching to fill the awkward silence she shrugged a shoulder and continued. “Breaking protocol, getting shot? Hell, those people would’ve been a lot happier getting their hands on you than disappointing me,” she finally turned her head towards Steve. 

“You came to help a stranger who was hurt and in danger, without question,” he replied quietly. It took a moment for (y/n) to understand what he was referring to. When she did, a half smile made its way to her lips.

“Help,” she scoffed, “I thought you were _dead_ ,” the two laughed.

“No, really,” he took a breath and shook his head, “There are already too few people in the world who would do what you did. We can’t afford to lose any more of them.” (y/n) wiped her mouth with a napkin, avoiding looking at Steve, suddenly self-conscious.

“Plenty of people would have called 911 at least. You did fall out of a building,” she raised her eyebrows.

“No, they would have filmed it on their phones,” his tone turned cynical. “Even if they called, I’m not convinced many people in the city would have gone to check the person,” he added.

“The world isn’t as dark as you seem to think it is, Steve.”

“It’s dark enough.” 

(y/n) considered his tone; what horrors had he seen to bring on these thoughts? Before she could ask about his sudden change in attitude, (y/n) had to stifle a yawn. Physically, mentally and emotionally exhausted, she suddenly felt as if she’d fall asleep where she sat. Steve noticed and looked at the clock. It was nearing midnight. 

“You should stay here, get some sleep.” He stood and cleared their few dishes. “You’re welcome to take my bed, I sleep out here on the couch often enough anyways.” 

“I don’t know,” she hesitated at the door to his room. “Is it too cliché to say that you’ve done enough and should take the bed?” Steve laughed and (y/n) could feel her face soften.

“Yes, it is. But, good luck trying to get me to change my mind,” he smirked. (y/n) held her hands up in surrender, but yawned before she could get out a witty retort. “Goodnight, (y/n),” he urged her to go sleep. “If you need anything I’ll be here.” 

“Goodnight,” (y/n) said before closing the door behind her. She walked to the edge of the bed and folded the covers back. Glancing back at the door she thought a moment before sliding the boxer shorts Steve had given her to wear off. (y/n) stepped into the bathroom and inspected her cheek before lifting her shirt to check the bruising on her side. _I look like I’ve been through a war,_ she sighed giving her arm and knees a cursory glance. A smile ghosted across her face thinking about how Steve had taken care of her before she shook herself mentally. 

(y/n) couldn’t help but moan as she slid into bed, pulling the soft sheets up over herself. She briefly allowed herself to take in the pleasant smell of clean clothes, clean sheets and what she now realized was _Steve_. (y/n) barely had time to tell herself she was being ridiculous before sleep took her.

Steve went through his own routine, pulling a throw blanket and spare pillow to the couch before flinging himself down, prepared to just let his body sleep. A mild twinge in his shoulder brought thoughts of (y/n) and the concern she had for him earlier to his mind. _She doesn’t deserve this,_ he thought to himself. Soon, he was in a deep, healing sleep.

After just a few hours, Steve awoke. He listened for whatever it was that had roused him before opening his eyes. An intruder was unlikely and a careful sweep of the room from his position on the couch confirmed this. He was just about to drift off again when he heard a muffled cry. “No, please no,” followed and he sat up, wiping the sleep from his eyes. Carefully opening the door to his room, he could see (y/n) on the bed, tossing fitfully. Steve walked over to the side of the bed and knelt near (y/n)’s head. He gently cupped the side of her face when he saw tears escaping from the corners of her eyes. “Not them, please no” she groaned, the words almost unintelligible. 

“(y/n),” he placed his free hand on her shoulder, running it up and down her arm. “Wake up,” he whispered. (y/n) flinched and gasped when he shushed her. “It’s just me,” he encouraged. (y/n) reached up to wipe away the tears that had formed, confused. “Nightmare?” he asked. With a nod, (y/n) pushed herself upright, and Steve let his hand move from her cheek to her shoulder. “Want to talk about it?” he offered sleepily. (y/n) shook her head. “Okay,” he said and stood to go back to his place on the couch. 

“Stay?” he heard her quiet voice behind him. Turning he nodded and walked to the other side of the bed. He sat leaning back against the headboard, closing his eyes, unable to bring himself to lay down and compromise propriety. Both remained in silence until (y/n) rolled to face him and tentatively put her hand over his, pulling it to her cheek for comfort. 

“They went after my family,” (y/n) said so quietly Steve almost missed it. “They had my mom, my brother and dad were dead in front of me…” she followed with a shaky breath. Steve squeezed her hand.

“We won’t let that happen, (y/n).” (y/n) briefly wondered who he meant by “we.” “Try to get some sleep,” he whispered and it wasn’t long before the two were sleeping peacefully.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully you didn't get a cavity from all the sweet fluff, (would that be cotton candy?). As always, feedback is greatly appreciated! Please let me know what you think, constructive criticism only helps the story get better! Much love <3


	7. A Visitor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A visitor stops by and decisions are made.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was a stubborn one! It did not want to cooperate and it was one of those rare times where I really had to force myself to write. Hopefully you guys enjoy it, there will be some action and further plot development very soon.

Steve awoke first. With a quiet groan, he began to stretch but found his left arm trapped. Half opening his eyes, he saw that he was almost diagonal across the bed with (y/n)’s forehead pressing against the outside of his upper arm, and hand resting in the crook of his elbow. It was the first time he’d seen her resting, completely relaxed. He watched her even breathing, feeling her warm breath against his skin and couldn’t bring himself to wake her. What harm could possibly come from letting her sleep? Carefully, Steve shifted so he could lie on his side and (y/n) muttered a sleepy protest at the movement, wrapping her hand further around his elbow. Too distracted by the feeling of (y/n) holding tightly to his arm, Steve didn’t notice that his shifting had pulled the covers from the opposite side of the bed and off of (y/n). It was only when she started to stir that he noticed the shirt she slept in, his shirt, had ridden up past her waist. Her bare legs were bent at the knee. 

With a sudden surge of courage, Steve reached over and pushed back the stray hairs that fell across (y/n) cheek. (y/n) squeezed her eyes tighter and pushed her head into Steve’s shoulder, muttering something about it being too early, obviously not aware of her surroundings. A loud knock on the door startled (y/n) and immediately she was sitting up, looking over at the alarmed expression on Steve’s face. 

“Wait here,” he said quietly and left the room, making sure the bedroom door latched behind him. Looking through the peep hole, he rolled his eyes when he saw Natasha standing in the hall. Feigning the appearance of being awoken by her knock, he opened the door slightly to face the apparently amused redhead’s. “It’s early, Natasha,” he griped.

“Not for you,” she replied, leaning to look past him into the apartment. When he shifted to block her view, Natasha raised an eyebrow. “You’re not one to be secretive, shy maybe,” she said as she pushed past Steve’s shoulder. Alarmed, Steve backpedaled to keep himself between Natasha and the door where (y/n) was hidden. “Steve!” Natasha teased, “Do you have a girl in here or something?” She turned to him with eyebrows raised. 

“No,” he replied quickly. “Even if I did, it really wouldn’t be any of your business,” he scolded. 

“Ohh but I think you do,” she stalked through the living room of the apartment. “Did you bring a girl back to your place for the night?” her voice was heavily suggestive and she winked when Steve’s face burned bright red at her implication. “You did!” She grinned.

“No, Natasha, I didn’t.” Steve wiped a hand over his eyes, then over the back of his neck. 

“You’re a terrible liar.”

“Look, I had a late night. Did you need something or are you here to be a pest? ‘Cause I’d much prefer some time to myself.” He squared himself in front of Natasha even as she boosted herself to sit on the counter in front of him. 

“Ohh I bet you did,” she smirked. 

“Natasha…” 

“See the thing is I know for a fact that you’re lying.” Her tone turned serious as she reached out and tapped the bandage peeking out from under his shirt sleeve. It wasn’t needed at this point but he hadn’t had the chance to remove it yet. He leveled a glare at Natasha. “I was about to leave to go get her when I saw you heading out.” Steve’s eyes softened. “I stayed back to do damage control, buy you some extra time before SHIELD found out you got involved in the attack.” 

“Do they know?” Steve asked, his irritation at Natasha’s earlier teasing now gone.

“Not yet,” she smirked. “I’ll even do you one better; no one else knows she’s here yet either.” Natasha folded her arms, smug confidence playing across her face. 

“I owe you,” he started before Natasha interrupted. 

“Yeah, you do.” 

(y/n) listened to the exchange with her ear pressed to the door before she finally opened it, stepping half way through.

“Hi, Natasha,” (y/n) said quietly. Natasha looked from (y/n) to Steve and back, taking in what the woman in front of her was wearing. 

“See, told ya you brought a girl back to your room.” Steve didn’t like what she was suggesting.

“Natasha,“ before he could continue she held up a hand. 

“Relax, I come in peace. And maybe with some wardrobe help,” her voice was kind now. She walked to (y/n). “You’re a little taller than me,” she said thoughtfully. “We’ll make it work.” Without a further word, Natasha made her way to the door, shutting it behind her.

“That was abrupt. Is this normal for her?” (y/n) asked.

“Normal doesn’t make an appearance around here very much.” 

\----

By the time Natasha returned, the pair were finishing up breakfast. Steve had taken advantage of the wait to shower and dress. When he offered for (y/n) to take the first shower, she had declined stating that she had no real clothes to change into until Natasha returned. He was glad he hadn’t pushed the issue; the wait for Natasha was a long one. 

(y/n) took full advantage of the opportunity to be alone and process the events of the previous 24 hours. The shower washed away all the dirt and grime along with some of the tension that had built up, relaxing the stiff muscles in her neck and shoulders. It was inevitable that (y/n)’s thoughts drifted to the lives of her coworkers. She wondered if any of them had been injured in the attack. The attack that was _her fault_. (y/n) took a shuddering breath to keep her composure. 

(Y/n) pulled on the pair of dark jeans Natasha had brought for her along with the white three-quarter sleeve top. Neither item fit perfectly, but under other circumstances, (Y/n) would have thought she looked ready to go out for the day. Combing through her (y/h/l) damp hair, she walked to the door leading to the living room when she heard Steve raise his voice. (Y/n) stood behind the cracked door and listened.

“No, absolutely not,” Steve’s voice was firm.

“Why?” Natasha’s voice was impassive. Peeking through the cracked door, (y/n) saw Steve bracing himself against the counter with both hands. 

“Because, if she wanted anything to do with this kind of life she would’ve taken the original offer,” Steve’s voice was heavy with the strain and fatigue of arguing. “She wanted to go back to a normal life, we have to respect that. Isn’t that what we do? Why we do what we do?” Natasha jaw clenched in annoyance at Steve’s comment.

“The other way to look at it is she’s smart enough not to put up with SHIELD’s bullshit demands,” the woman crossed her ankles and considered Steve in his stubbornness. “You know, right now you’re being just as bad as they are. You haven’t even asked (y/n) what she thinks about this.” Anger flashed in Steve’s eyes. “I’m just saying she doesn’t seem the type to appreciate decisions being made for her.” 

“I know, but this,” he wiped a hand over his face, “this is too dangerous. For one of us it’d be risky at best. For her it’s a suicide mission.” 

“Aww, is that sentiment I detect?” (y/n) felt a knot form in her stomach. She wished she could see Natasha’s face; the woman was difficult enough to read without taking away visual cues. Steve leveled a glare at Natasha but didn’t respond to the provocation. “It is!” (y/n) wished she had interrupted the conversation before it had taken this turn. Curiosity for what this group might having in store for you had quickly turned to eavesdropping on a private matter.

“No, it’s not,” Steve turned his back, pacing through the apartment. Natasha was too good at reading him and both knew it. 

“Are you going to ask her out?” (y/n) caught the slightest movement out of the corner of her eye as Natasha sat forward eagerly, folding her hands over her knees.

“If I say yes will you drop the subject?” Steve raised an eyebrow before he finally managed to calm his expression while facing the subject. (y/n) felt her stomach drop at that expression, and hoped she never experienced Steve leveling it towards her. 

“Maybe.” 

(y/n) had heard enough and made a show of turning the doorknob and stepping into the room continuing to towel her hair off. The surprise at her sudden entrance was apparent on both Steve and Natasha’s faces. Surely they couldn’t be snuck up on that easily. She looked from one face to the other. “What’d I miss?”

“Nothing,” Steve answered too quickly while Natasha gave (Y/n) a loaded look. (Y/n)’s brow furrowed. Natasha was obviously skilled at disconcerting people and (Y/n) would do well to remember that. The silence stretched on uncomfortably until (Y/n) finally broke it with the question that had been hanging over her since her arrival at Avengers’ Tower. 

“So, what do I do now?” (Y/n) took a seat next to Natasha on the couch and Steve pulled a chair over to sit opposite the two women. “I mean, you could send me on my way, but from what I’ve gathered from you, it would only be a matter of time before they get to me?” Natasha gave a shrug and a nod.

“That pretty much sums it up,” she shifted to look at (Y/n). “It all depends on how valuable of a resource they decide you are. Unfortunately for you, being rescued gives the appearance that you’re more valued.”

“I see,” (Y/n) pursed her lips. “If you’d have left me to be captured that would have been the end of it. By saving me, it will make them want me more?” Her eyebrows rose, waiting for confirmation. When Steve finally muttered an affirmation, (Y/n) leaned over with her elbows on her knees. “So, I’m essentially screwed at this point.” Natasha let an amused chuckle slip out before apologizing when Steve leveled his glare at her. 

“Not necessarily,” Natasha began before Steve spoke her name in warning which she ignored. “I mean, we, I at least could teach you some basic… _skills_ so you could keep yourself safe,” Steve worked to quickly suppress the shocked expression on his face at Natasha’s offer. (Y/n) wondered what he thought she was going to suggest. 

“Probably not a bad idea,” (Y/n) agreed her fingers absently brushing her neck lost in the memory of that first night. “I think my body has been through enough with all of this.” She couldn’t keep the humorless laugh from escaping. 

“The others here might be able to offer some valuable instruction,” when Steve looked ready to interrupt, Natasha held up her hand. “Do you really think any of them would have a problem with keeping a secret from SHIELD? She’ll be fine.” Steve crossed his arms, obviously not pleased. “Why do you have a problem with this,” Natasha finally returned Steve’s irritation. Steve stared back at Natasha for a moment before shaking his head. 

“I don’t,” he finally replied. Natasha looked unconvinced and (Y/n) watched him thoughtfully. Turning his gaze to (Y/n), he leaned forward. “It would be good for you to be able to keep yourself safe but,” a quick glance to Natasha caught (Y/n)’s eye. “The more you learn, the harder it will be for you to get back to your life. The longer you’re away, the more people will notice, the more questions will get asked,” his voice trailed off. (Y/n)’s eyes lowered to the floor as she considered the truth in his words. “I just don’t want you to find yourself down a path you can’t turn back from, one that you didn’t sign up for.” 

“I think that ship sailed when I saw you fly out of a window,” (Y/n) tried to give Steve a half smile. “What do you need from me?” She turned to look at Natasha sitting beside her and was surprised and the grin that appeared on the woman’s face. 

“We’ll need to get you set up here in some manner. You going back to your apartment is out of the question.” This, at least, Steve unequivocally agreed with. “Is there anything you absolutely must have from there? Don’t worry about clothes or things that are replaceable.” (Y/n) considered the question for a moment.

“My laptop, my journal,” (Y/n) mentally walked through her apartment. “I have a box that has a bunch of old memories, pictures and such.” It seemed so trivial, a laptop a journal and a memory box. “I mean, they’re not important things,” Steve cut her off.

“Yes, they are,” he said gently. (Y/n) was surprised when she saw Natasha’s face soften and then nod in agreement. 

“I’ll get Clint, we’ll be back with some things for you.” She looked to Steve for confirmation that this was happening. Before she left, Natasha had (Y/n) write down where the three things in her apartment were along with her clothing sizes. 

“We’ll be back as soon as we can,” Natasha said over her shoulder as she reached the front door. Once she disappeared down the hall towards the elevator, Steve closed the door, leaning against the frame for a long moment. (Y/n) took a deep breath and pushed herself up from the couch. 

“She’s something else,” (Y/n) said sticking her hands in her pockets as Steve turned back.

“You could say that,” he huffed and shook his head. 

“You okay?” (Y/n) asked quietly. Steve was surprised at her concern for him.

“Shouldn’t I be the one asking you that?” (Y/n) laughed at his comment earning her a confused look. 

“No, I think if I’m asked if I’m alright any more I might have to punch something,” (Y/n) smirked. Steve chuckled.

“Save that for when Natasha gets hold of you for some training.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” (Y/n) saw a smile tug at Steve’s mouth. The conversation she heard between Steve and Natasha itched in the back of her mind. (Y/n) assumed most of Steve’s hesitation was wrapped up in Natasha’s suggestions. “Hopefully she’ll take it easy on me, I’ve still got another few weeks before these start cooperating again,” she lightly patted her ribs. 

“Well, I have a feeling Bruce will have some choice words for Natasha if she undoes any of his work,” Steve surprised (Y/n) with a burst of laughter. “You’ll be alright,” he finally said looking (Y/n) over once more thoughtfully. His comment encouraged (Y/n).

“If nothing else, I’ll have some useful skills to use when the crazy and combative patients get loose on me,” it was (Y/n)’s turn to surprise Steve with her levity. They stood awkwardly, laughing and dancing around the seriousness of the situation. “I can’t believe Natasha was going to come for me if you hadn’t,” (Y/n) said wrapping her arms around herself as she made her way back to the couch. Steve followed and sat next to her. 

“You and me both,” he said with a sigh. “She can be very surprising,” Steve focused on his hands in his lap. 

“I guess it’ll be a while before I can get back out there,” (Y/n) said looking out the window over the city. 

“It won’t be permanent, (Y/n),” Steve said looking out the window over (Y/n)’s head. 

Sitting quietly next to Steve (Y/n) thought back to that morning. Before she had been startled into wakefulness by Natasha’s knock, she remembered being so warm and feeling so safe. “Did you stay with me the rest of the night?” (Y/n) asked, risking a glance back at Steve. 

“Yeah,” he said quietly, “I guess I fell asleep,” he added sheepishly. “I’m sorry-“ he began but (Y/n) interrupted him. 

“No, no. Thank you,” she nudged his elbow with her. “Staying with some crazy stray woman having nightmares is above and beyond the call of duty, Captain,” she laughed and Steve surprised her when he joined in. 

“Anything for a, what’d you call yourself before? A damsel in distress? Citizen in need?” He raised his eyebrows. (Y/n) gently elbowed him again before leaning left against his arm, her head turned right to look out over the city again. 

“You probably have things you need to do. It took Natasha forever to find pants and a shirt, who knows how long this errand will take,” (Y/n) rolled her eyes dramatically.

“It’s all stuff that can wait,” he looked down at (Y/n) while she continued to watch the city out the window. With that, he leaned forward for the remote before offering it to (Y/n) and the two settled in to await Natasha’s return.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow! I cannot believe the support so far! You guys are great :) Also, can’t believe we’re at chapter 7 already. I’m so glad people are enjoying this (hopefully as much as I’m enjoying writing it). Please please please! Feedback helps me so much! What do you like? What don't you like? Let me know where I can improve :) As always, you're all wonderful! Much love!


	8. Kick it into Gear

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys are awesome, thank you so much for all the encouraging comments so far! Never dreamed this would be successful beyond the enjoyment of writing it!
> 
> *I'll be going back through the first few chapters to edit them so that they all read in the 3rd person soon so the work flows a bit better, won't impact current readers but hopefully will make it better for new people who come across this :)

By the time Natasha returned with Clint in tow, dusk was falling. Finding (Y/n) and Steve almost exactly where she had left them, Natasha raised an eyebrow at Steve. 

“About those reports-don’t you think it’ll look suspicious if they’re late?” Natasha asked setting down the bags she had carried in. 

“I’m allowed a day off,” Steve replied. (Y/n) was leaning forward, looking through the bags as Natasha watched with pride. 

“Again, suspicious,” Clint chimed in as he stepped forward to Natasha’s side, setting down a messenger bag containing (Y/n)’s laptop and other things. (Y/n) changed her focus from the contents of the new bags to what Clint and Natasha had been able to recover from her apartment. Opening the leather bag she pulled out her laptop before sifting through the few other items. As promised, her memory box was there and intact along with her journal. She gave Natasha a curious look when she saw other things of hers there too including her perfume, several framed pictures, her jewelry box and her well-worn copy of (favorite book). 

“What’s all this?” (Y/n) asked sparing a glance at the two very proud individuals standing in front of her before returning her focus to her personal items in her lap. One by one, (Y/n) set them on the table after turning them over in her hands, a faraway look on her face.

“We had the time,” was all Clint said, beaming as he watched (Y/n)’s reaction to his and Natasha’s surprise. Steve regarded his coworkers thoughtfully. He hadn’t expected this level of support. “Unlike you, Cap,” he added after a minute. “If you give anyone reason to look in on you, like taking a personal day or being late –“ Steve cut Clint off.

“I know, reports,” Steve spared one more glance to (Y/n), lost in thought as she opened her old memory box. He stood and started towards the door, pausing to clap Clint on the shoulder as he passed and give Natasha a nod of appreciation. 

“Get changed,” Natasha tossed a set of workout clothes towards (Y/n) with a glint in her eye. Steve froze in the doorway with a warning look.

“Take it easy you two,” he warned before Natasha shooed him away.

“He hovers more than a mother hen sometimes,” Natasha said as she closed the door. (Y/n) laughed before agreeing.

“He just doesn’t want to see all of his effort go to waste I’m sure,” (Y/n) called over her shoulder as she went to change. Before she knew it, Natasha and Clint were leading her into one of the most well equipped gyms she had ever seen. “It’s safe for me to be walking around the tower right? You won’t catch any grief or trouble?” Clint shrugged with an amused grin.

“Stick to the top levels and you’re fine. No one up here will spill this little secret,” he assured. 

“Alright, let’s go!” Natasha clapped her hands twice and began an easy warm up with (Y/n), doing the exercises right alongside her. Natasha soon had (Y/n) sweating and gasping for air. “Come on this is the easy stuff (y/l/n). 

“You’re insane you know that, right?” (Y/n) panted, her hand tight to her side checking the tape along her ribs. (Y/n) was no stranger to the gym and up until this point she had even considered herself to be decently in shape. Between lifting patients and enjoying her workouts, she was by no means starting from behind the curve as Clint had anticipated. He was enjoying his spot up in the corner, watching Natasha push (Y/n) harder and harder. 

“That’s what I keep telling her!” he called down. He immediately realized his mistake when Natasha shouted and pointed at him.

“Get down here Barton!” Muttering a curse, Clint complied and Natasha pushed a cushion at him. “Now let’s see what you’ve got, (Y/n),” she smirked to Clint who leaned forward, bracing himself. “Kick as hard as you can,” she encouraged. (Y/n) took a step back, preparing to throw her weight behind her foot before Natasha stopped her. “No, your legs are your strongest, they carry you around all day,” she said taking (y/n)’s spot to demonstrate. Clint grimaced and staggered back a step as she landed a solid kick to the center of the pad. 

“I thought the plan was just to teach me enough so I could keep myself safe, your standard pepper spray, Taser, or run,” (Y/n) finally caught her breath as she watched Natasha demonstrate. “What happened to basic self-defense?”

“And if they’re faster than you?” Her voice was even, “We’re not teaching you to defend yourself against some street gang, (Y/n),” she stepped back indicating for (Y/n) to try again. Before (Y/n) could begin, Natasha stopped her once more, changed her position and guided her leg through the motion. (Y/n) reset, trying the kick again slower. “That’s it. Again,” Natasha ordered from the side. “Again, harder!” she said louder. “Other leg,” she surprised (Y/n). It took much longer for (Y/n) to get enough force behind her non-dominant leg. 

“Come on, (Y/n), I can barely feel it!” Clint taunted. (Y/n) gritted her teeth and kicked harder, resetting to try again without any prompting from Natasha. The dull sound of foot against mat filled the corner of the gym over and over again. “You’re not even trying!” Clint’s eyes were bright as he looked over to Natasha and (Y/n) grunted her annoyance, putting more force than she thought she had into her next try. “That one tickled, you can do better!” His jeers were accompanied by a smile, though (Y/n) didn’t notice. Her final kick caused Clint to step back with his supporting foot. Natasha finally gave a nod of approval. 

“That’s enough for one day I think, (Y/n),” she clapped a hand to (Y/n)’s sweaty back before handing her a towel. (Y/n) nodded, reaching for water. She tried not to show just how relieved she was. A glance at the clock showed just how late it had gotten. 

“Same time tomorrow, (Y/n),” Natasha called out behind her after showing (Y/n) back to Steve’s area. (Y/n) grunted in acknowledgement. As the redhead disappeared around the corner, (Y/n) reached for the door but hesitated. It wasn’t her home, should she knock, would that be weird? Carefully, she tried the door and finding it unlocked, she slowly opened it, knocking on the door frame as she did so. Steve hadn’t returned yet which (Y/n) was grateful for. It felt like she hadn’t been alone in ages. It didn’t take (Y/n) long to find the necessities Natasha had bought her in the bags that had been abandoned near the couch. 

_Soap, shampoo, brush, comb, razor, face wash,_ (Y/n) cataloged in her head, _God bless that woman,_ she thought with a smile. Another bag held soft cotton shorts, underwear, and tank tops. Grabbing one of each, she made her way to the bathroom and locked the door. (Y/n) relished in the luxury of a long hot shower, particularly after the workout Natasha had put her through. She ached from head to toe, but being clean seemed to make it more tolerable. Emerging from the bathroom, (Y/n) heard Steve rifling through the cupboards and fridge and realized just how hungry she was and immediately went to join him.

The comparatively cold air of the living room made (Y/n) yelp. Her bare legs seized up, the muscles turning to tight, painful spasms. Steve turned at the sound and walked quickly over to where (Y/n) was now sitting on the ground, running her hand over the painful spasms. 

“I told her to be careful,” he said but the look on (Y/n)’s face made him rethink his worry. 

“Honestly, I’m not made of glass. I probably should’ve looked for sweats in those bags,” (Y/n) said ruefully. “Nothing some Advil won’t fix,” she started to get up but had a hard time straightening her leg. 

“Just, wait, come here,” Steve said and helped (Y/n) back to the floor. “Lay on your stomach,” he said and (Y/n) complied. Carefully he took (Y/n)’s leg in his hand and began to stretch it up behind her back. A low moan escaped (Y/n)’s lips as her head fell against her arms. 

“Have this problem a lot?” she asked, keeping her eyes closed and her head buried against her arms. 

“Personally? Not so much,” he chuckled switching to her other leg. “I saw it happen to Natasha once. Not that she needs help, or would ask for it, but I think she was relieved someone was there. She walked me through helping her stretch,” he said before moving to (Y/n)’s lower leg, flexing her foot to stretch the cramp in her calf. “It was so bad she could barely walk. Don’t tell her I said that,” he added when (Y/n) flipped over to look up at him.

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” she laughed reaching for his hand when he offered to help her up. “Well at least _I_ can walk,” she tested her legs and though they protested with fatigue and use, they didn’t completely seize up again. “Thanks,” she said as the two walked to the kitchen. (Y/n) watched Steve’s back as he dug into his dinner. He was so easy to be around, that is he put her at ease. (Y/n) wondered if that was a dangerous thing or not as she ate her own dinner. (Y/n) anticipated an awkward silence as they ate, but Steve instead began asking questions about her workout with Natasha and Clint. 

“Honestly, Clint should take up heckling as a profession,” (Y/n) said before taking another bite. “I actually wanted to hurt him by the time Natasha let me go!” she started laughing and Steve’s eyes lit up.

“That sounds about right,” he added with a chuckle. “Do me a favor, let me be there when you finally take him down?”

“Deal,” (Y/n) smirked and left the table, cleaning up as she made her way around the kitchen. 

“I can get that later, (Y/n),” Steve said before (Y/n) interjected.

“Absolutely not, I refuse to let you wait on me.”

“You’re a guest,” Steve’s argument was weak.

“Am I really a guest? This isn’t your typical ‘guest’ scenario,” (Y/n) thought out loud as she wiped down the counters. “I’m not going home any time soon, but you deserve to have your apartment back,” she risked looking briefly at Steve who was lost in thought.

“If that’s what you want,” he studied his hands in his lap. “Tony’s gone for the next few days at least, but when he gets back I’m sure he’ll find a place here for you. I’m sure you want your own space,” (Y/n) gave a shy shrug.

“It would be nice,” she said quietly. “Plus, you probably want your bed back,” she added, laughing self-consciously. “Speaking of,” she spoke through a yawn, covering her mouth with the back of her hand. “I should get ready for bed.”

“Go ahead, I’ll be in to grab some things shortly,” he picked his own plate up. “The couch is calling my name,” his statement made (Y/n) cringe with guilt, but rather than argue she went back into the bedroom. 

Placing the numerous bags of clothing Natasha had bought earlier that day at the foot of the bed, (Y/n) took each article out, cut the tags off and folded them. She had a neat pile started on the chair in when Steve walked in. He stopped halfway into the room, seeing (Y/n) sorting through the underwear she had been bought. He heard her mutter something under her breath about doing laundry when she turned to see him watching her. Steve’s ears burned red when she raised her eyebrows having caught him. Instead of the lecture Steve anticipated, (Y/n) burst out laughing.

“Oh I most certainly need my own place if you can’t handle seeing women’s underwear, Steve,” she fell into a fit of giggles at the look of horror on Steve’s face, “Sorry, sorry, it’s not funny,” (Y/n) tried to stop but it only made her laugh harder. Steve’s horror turned to mild annoyance to shock when (Y/n) tossed a handful of underwear at him. He caught the frilly garments and immediately set them down on the bed as if they were on fire. 

“That’s mature,” he folded his arms, trying to look indignant. 

“You’re the one afraid of women’s underwear!” (Y/n) gasped between laughing fits. Steve did his best to keep up his irritated appearance but finally closed his eyes and shook his head as a smile came to his lips. 

“You’re too much,” he sighed in exasperation and pulled out his sleep clothes. “Goodnight,” he said before closing the door behind him, off to take his place on the couch.

“’Night,” (Y/n) called after him. It had been a long time since she’d laughed that hard and she stayed on the ground, catching her breath. Finally regaining her composure, (Y/n) finished her task and climbed into bed, turning out the light on her way. 

\--

(Y/n) looked over to her right and saw Steve lying beside her. She couldn’t remember him coming back into the bedroom, let alone getting under the covers next to her. The moonlight shone through the window and (Y/n) rolled onto her side, watching Steve sleep. He must be exhausted, she thought, hugging the blanket tighter to herself. He was facing away from her and she could see the swell of his muscles. His presence made her feel safe, and that bothered her. He couldn’t always be around, nor should he be, (Y/n) chastised herself. The room was silent and she could hear the soft ticking of the clock on the bedside table behind her. A chill ran up (Y/n)’s spine as she thought back to the first time she saw Steve, lying on his side on the pavement, then again to when she saw that he’d been shot rescuing her. Steve had been so patient with her since her arrival, surely he wouldn’t mind, she thought reaching out to put a hand on his arm. He was so cold. (Y/n) pushed herself up on an elbow, leaning over to grab the duvet that was pulled up only to his waist. As she pulled the blanket up over him, her hand brushed over Steve’s damp shirt. _Damp?_ (Y/n) thought and said his name softly, tugging on his shoulder. Steve rolled over onto his back. The handle of a large knife stuck out from the center of his chest. (Y/n) yanked her hands back, realizing they were covered in blood. Before she could let out a scream, a hand reached around (Y/n)’s neck simultaneously covering her mouth and dragging her backwards.

(Y/n) sat bolt upright in the bed, gasping for air and shaking. She turned on the light immediately and found herself alone. Her hands were clean and dry, the room was empty but for her. With a trembling hand, she pushed her hair back out of her face and focused on taking slow deep breaths. _Nightmare, it was a nightmare_ she said to herself over and over again. The image of Steve lying lifeless beside her haunted her as she sat back against the headboard. 

Water. (Y/n) decided that what she needed was a glass of water and easily convinced herself that was her motivation to enter the kitchen. The door creaked as she opened it but the room remained silent. Tiptoeing through the room, she quietly filled a glass from the tap and took a sip. The horror from the nightmare was fading. After another sip, she turned back towards the bedroom, pausing to look over at the couch. Steve slept sprawled out and (Y/n) could see the easy rise and fall of his chest. The blanket he used had fallen to the floor. (Y/n) altered her path back to the bed and knelt next to Steve, carefully covering him. As she turned away she nearly let out a yelp as he caught her wrist. 

“What is it, what’s wrong?” his voice was deep and sleep laden. 

“You looked cold,” (Y/n) said lamely. Steve leaned up on his elbow, searching (Y/n)’s face. Without another word he gently drew (Y/n) to him with one arm and lay back on the couch before covering them both with the blanket. (Y/n) didn’t protest.

“What was it?” he asked when (Y/n) took a shuddering breath and allowed herself to hold onto Steve.

“I saw you there, dead, and they came for me,” (Y/n) head was pressed into his shoulder and her arm wrapped around his waist. Steve ran his free hand up and down (Y/n)’s back until he felt her breathing even out and her body relax in sleep before he allowed himself to drift off once again. 

Several hours later (Y/n) awoke, wedged tightly between Steve and the back of the couch. Her cheeks flushed when she realized her legs were tangled with his but she was too comfortable to complain. She reasoned that trying to free her legs would only serve to wake Steve up. With a yawn and a tired groan, she let herself relax against him, her eyes drifting closed once more. Steve’s arm curled protectively around (Y/n) in his sleep as she shifted. 

The cell phone next to Steve’s head began to ring and buzz an hour later. Groggily, Steve reached over, tapping the screen to answer the call. 

“Rogers,” he said, squinting, forcing himself to wake up. Glancing down he saw (Y/n) still sleeping against him, bringing a smile to his face. _Focus_ he thought to himself as he listened to the caller. Several “Mhmms” and “Yes, sirs” later, the phone call ended and his arm dropped to hang off the couch. Carefully, he sat up, easing (Y/n) over so she could stay laying comfortably on the couch. 

“Steve?” she murmured, half opening her eyes. 

“I have to leave,” he said as he pulled the blanket up over her. “Just a few days,” he said quickly as (Y/n) propped herself up on her elbow. “A mission,” he added in explanation. (Y/n) nodded and Steve got up to go get ready.

“Be careful?” she said as her head fell to the pillow Steve had been using on the couch.

“Always am,” he said with a smile as he headed to his room. When he returned, (Y/n) had fallen back asleep, it was still very early in the morning and dawn was approaching. He spared one look back at (Y/n)’s sleeping form before he left, closing the door as quietly as he could. 

It was fully light out when (Y/n) finally awoke, still on the couch. Her eyes fell on a sheet of paper held down by a cell phone on the coffee table near her head.

_”Dear (Y/n), I was called away on a mission – I’m not sure you’ll remember me telling you, you weren’t quite awake. I should be back within a few days. The others are with me, but you’re safe in the tower. There is plenty of food and if you need something, ask Jarvis. The cell phone has some phone numbers programmed in should there be an emergency. We’ll be back before you know it._

_Sincerely,  
Steve_

(Y/n) read the note a few times before picking up the cell phone. The contacts were listed 1 2 3 4 and 5. _I’m going to guess that’s everyone,_ thought to herself. Jarvis probably knew if she desperately needed to know. She couldn’t imagine he had time to ask the others’ permission for her to have their contact information on a mission, but he did say it was for emergencies. 

Essentially she had the living quarters to herself. As (Y/n) sat up, every muscle in her body protested. Groaning, she gently stretched her arms over her head. _I should probably do something about that_ she thought rubbing her hands over her aching legs. _A gentle workout should help_ she sighed and walked to the room, washing and changing before heading to the deserted gym.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always guy, feedback is much appreciated! What did you like, what didn't you like? What would you like to see in the future? I've got ideas for several different fics running around in my head, so I'm trying not to fall into the trap of writing too many different stories at the same time, but there may be some other series going simultaneously very soon. Much love!


	9. Mystery Woman

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An intelligence gathering mission raises more questions than it answers.

The trip across the Atlantic was a long one for such a shaky lead. Apparently desperation for solid intelligence had seeped throughout the upper SHIELD brass. Steve sat back in one of the bucket seats in the jet, resting his eyes when he heard several booted feet shuffle alongside him and sighs as several of his teammates took seats next to him. Opening one eye, he saw Natasha at his left, buckling the restraints as the jet hit turbulence. 

“How did (Y/n) take being left alone?” She asked offhandedly as she checked her various weapons before getting comfortable. 

“Well, she was half asleep when I got the call, doubt she remembers much but I left her a note,” he closed his eye once more, letting his head drop back to the headrest. They still had several hours before they arrived in Europe and Steve planned to take full advantage of them. 

“How’d you know she was only half asleep?” Natasha asked a little too enthusiastically and Steve immediately regretted his word choice. 

“She had a nightmare and fell asleep on the couch next to me,” he sighed keeping his eyes closed. If he ignored her, maybe Natasha would take the hint and drop the subject. He wished he could be so lucky.

“Were you also asleep on the couch?” Her eyebrow twitched in intrigue.

“Yes, she sleeps in the bed, I take the couch,” his kept his voice even.

“Except for last night,” Natasha clarified.

“Except for last night,” Steve mumbled. Natasha was silent for a moment, her lips drawing to the side in a smirk.

“So what you’re saying is, you slept with her,” Steve ran a hand over his face and opened his mouth when he heard the last person he wanted to join this particular conversation speak up.

“Oooh, who’d Cap sleep with?” Tony asked plopping himself in a seat facing Steve and Natasha. “That’s scandalous behavior, I expected better from you,” he waggled his eyebrows. 

“Knock it off, both of you. No one, Tony, I didn’t sleep with anyone,” he shot a glare to Natasha. “Tasha here enjoys jumping to conclusions.”

“Oh I didn’t jump to any conclusions, you literally slept with her,” she enjoyed this game. When Steve’s cheeks started to turn red she grinned triumphantly. 

“Not in the way you’re implying,” he added quickly. Tony leaned forward, elbows on his knees.

“I still don’t know this lucky girl’s name,” he looked to Natasha.

“Oh but you do!” 

“Don’t –“ Steve objected but Natasha spoke over him.

“Remember dear (Y/n)?” Natasha asked and Steve put his head in his hand.

“(Y/n)? From a few weeks ago (Y/n)?” he was now fully engaged in Natasha’s gossip game. 

“Seriously, Natasha!” Steve objected but the redhead took his exasperation down a notch with her glare. 

“You went and got involved in the hospital debacle and now have her living at the tower. You knew everyone would figure it out sooner or later,” Steve conceded her point. Tony was putting together the pieces as he watched Steve’s frustration.

“So that attack, the one we were told expressly to stay away from, at the _hospital_ no less, was her?” Tony had been away and hadn’t taken much interest in the attack beyond noting that it was another of the apparently random HYDRA attacks and one he was told expressly to stay away from. “And you went against orders, I’m proud of you Capsicle,” he clapped Steve on the shoulder. Steve was weary of the banter.

“Yes, that was her, no SHIELD doesn’t know she’s at the tower,” Steve gave up trying to get his teammates off of this subject. They had sunk their teeth in firmly and would not let go. “We’ll need to get her settled into her own place there; it won’t be safe for her to leave for some time. Can you arrange that, Tony?” he asked watching the man across from him.

“Not a problem. Do you want her next door or would you prefer her below you?” Steve shot a glare to Natasha who snorted at Tony’s comment. 

“Children, you’re both children,” he was flustered making the situation that much more enjoyable for the two instigators. “Wherever Tony,” he sighed in resignation. 

“We’re an hour out!” the pilot announced over the intercom and the three made their way to prepare for their drop off. 

“Hopefully this won’t take too long,” Natasha said, her hands worked skillfully to tighten straps and harnesses. “Can’t wait to get back and see what else (Y/n)’s got in her for training,” Tony looked up at this comment, his suit halfway on. 

“You’re training her?” he looked surprised for once.

“Just to defend herself,” Steve quickly cut in. 

“Yeah, of course, self-defense, that’s it, that’s all-“ Natasha exaggerated earning her another glare. “You can’t tell me she won’t be useful, especially if this mission is a success,” her face turned serious as she met Steve’s glare.

“You’re, we’re, not using her as bait,” he said firmly. 

“Suit yourself, but like I said, you should probably let her make that call,” Natasha said walking back to where the others waited. “Take my advice, Steve,” Natasha called over her shoulder.

“You going to ask her out?” Tony asked, eyebrows raised.

“If I say yes, will you drop the subject?” Steve grumbled as he lifted his shield and walked to the back of the jet.

“Absolutely not,” Tony said resolutely. 

\--  
(Y/n) wandered to the gym surprised by the emptiness of the upper floors. While she didn’t mind being alone, the idea of being in such isolation for more than a few days was uncomfortable. _He did say they would be back in a few days,_ (Y/n) thought back to the note left for her on the coffee table. (Y/n) groaned when she started to gently stretch, her muscles protesting after the intense workout Natasha had put her through.

“There’s no way I can even do one of _my_ workouts at this rate,” she grumbled. It had been so long since she overworked herself. _I don’t even know where to begin,_ she sighed. “Gah, I don’t know what to do,” she said picking up some small weights. 

“Is there something I can help you with, miss?” (Y/n) flinched and searched the gym from where she stood. It was still quite obviously empty. 

“Jarvis?” she asked hesitantly. 

“Yes, miss. You seem frustrated and expressed the need for information. May I be of assistance?” (Y/n) was unnerved slightly by the computer’s ability to make such observations about her. 

“Do you do this a lot? Jump in as soon as someone doesn’t know something?” she asked, eyes roaming up towards one of the several speakers in the gym where she assumed the sound came from. Where does one look when having a conversation with a non-entity? 

“More often than not, miss. Particularly with Mr. Stark,” was that wit she detected coming from a computer? 

“I was trying to think of a recovery workout, I’m really sore,” (Y/n) finally said. _I feel ridiculous, I’m talking to a computer_ she twisted her mouth to the side. 

“One moment, would you like me to walk you through the exercises one at a time, miss?” Jarvis once again startled her after compiling a list of information about recovery workouts. She had to admit it was much more convenient than dragging out her laptop and searching herself.

“One at a time would be helpful,” she said and soon she was well on her way through her workout, sweating, tired, but not in quite as much discomfort. Finishing up with her stretches, (Y/n) walked towards the door to the gym but paused and looked back into the room and up. “Um, thank you, Jarvis,” she felt horribly awkward. 

“You’re welcome, miss,” he said and (Y/n) shook her head as she left. Food, shower, and a nap were in order. Not necessarily in that order, she mentally revised. She relished the long hot shower and the opportunity to make food for herself. It felt a little more like being at home having the ability to function throughout a day independently. _More like house sitting_ she amended. Without Steve there, she didn’t feel the need to ask permission for every simple action. At the same time, she missed his company. 

(Y/n) took the opportunity to explore the apartment. _Just explore, no snooping_ she justified her curiosity in her mind. The living areas were very simple and neat. With the exception of her small pile of things, the entirety of the apartment was kept in precise order. _Very military,_ she thought as she ran her hand along the bookshelf. Steve’s movie collection contained many acclaimed classics, though lacked the variety that would give her a better sense of what genres or specifics he would enjoy. The titles read more like a classic film studies syllabus than a personal collection. 

“Unless he just likes the classics,” she sighed and looked at the books he had. _More classics_ (Y/n) sighed running her finger along the spines of the books until she came to one very well worn one. The title was not listed on its spine but it appeared to have been well loved. “The sign of a good book,” she smiled and pulled the thick book off the shelf. 

Flipping the cover open, she was surprised that instead of a title page there were photographs. Slowly she turned the pages, walking towards the couch. Sitting she rested the photo album on her lap and studied the old pictures. _Steve, age 3_ one caption read. 

“Who kept this for him…” she wondered, her fingers lightly traced the protected photographs. It was not lost on her that if anyone else had a photo album like this it would be of their grandparents’ childhood. There were few pictures of his parents. The ones that were present were stiff, formal poses; family portraits. (Y/n) chewed on her lip as she saw pictures of Steve as a child, then as a teen, reminded of his frail history. 

Pictures from the war had even been added. Though the copies appeared modern and had obviously been printed within the past few years they were also cataloged meticulously with captions and dates. (Y/n) flipped between two pages, studying how drastically different Steve was before he enlisted and after. Medically speaking she couldn’t wrap her mind around what had been done to him and how. A picture of Steve in his formal military uniform made her lips twitch into a smile. _He was very handsome in uniform_ she thought looking at the tie and jacket. The very end of the album contained a group photograph of Steve, Natasha, Clint, Tony, Bruce, and Thor. 

“Talk about a journey through time,” she sighed and reverently closed the book before returning it to the shelf. There must be hundreds of untold stories contained in those photos. (Y/n) wondered if she would ever get the opportunity to hear them. Asking seemed so invasive. Would it be violating his privacy? How many people had asked him out of morbid curiosity? It had the potential to be a very painful subject both from the memories and because she was sure people had asked to satisfy their personal fascination with the iconic hero. Browsing the shelf once more, (Y/n) picked up another book and returned to the couch. With the blanket she had been covered with early that morning draped across her lap, she curled up in the corner near the light. She read late into the night until her eyes closed of their own accord, the book splayed open across her chest as she slept. 

\---

Steve stood in front of the man they had managed to capture alive. The rest of what they had confirmed as a HYDRA base lay in ruins around them, ashes smoldering in places while rubble littered the ground. Natasha and Clint were at a desk that had been hastily put to order to spread out files the two had managed to save. The pages were singed at one end from the flames but most were legible. With entry dates over the past 2 weeks, these files had piqued the crew’s interest. 

Natasha walked over to Steve and held the open file, pointing to a name circled in red. Leaning up she whispered in Steve’s ear, turning her head so her lips were hidden from view. 

“There are too many questions here. Looks like they don’t know who she is or what to make of her,” she told him before nodding back to the page. Hasty notes including _”SHIELD Operative?”_ and _No Existing SHIELD Record_ were scrawled next to the last name of (Y/L/N) with a photograph of (Y/n) paper clipped into the file. Steve took the file and stepped forward, showing the picture to their prisoner.

“Who is she?” he asked. The man stared at the picture then back at Steve and Natasha. 

“You would know more than I,” his voice was heavily accented. Clint came around with another file. This listed the names of known SHIELD agents and operatives and their positions within the organization. (Y/n)’s name was once again circled but lacked a designation within SHIELD. 

“How do you have this information?” Clint spoke up after he passed the file to Natasha who put it with the one she already had. The HYDRA agent’s eyes shifted between his three captors as he pressed his lips together. 

“We don’t have time for this,” Steve finally said stepping back. While they had successfully cleared the facility, there was no way of knowing if reinforcements would be there soon. “We’ll take him, figure this out later,” Clint nodded and left to signal a rendezvous. “Tony, are you almost done?” Steve asked looking to Stark who tapped away at a keyboard. 

“5 minutes,” he acknowledged. Steve looked around the room for any last piece of information while Natasha turned to stow the files she had on her person. As she turned, the man lunged forward in his chair, managing to stretch far enough to grab one of Natasha’s guns from the holster on her leg. With a shout she grabbed for him but he had already turned the gun on himself. Before Steve could even take a step the man had the gun pressed to the side of his head and pulled the trigger. Natasha swore violently. 

Clint came bursting back into the room. When he saw his teammates were still upright and in one piece, he nodded toward the door. 

“Two minutes to get onto the roof,” he said looking at Steve.

“Tony, whatever you have, take it. Let’s move,” Steve ordered. Natasha was leaning forward over the man’s body, needlessly checking for a pulse. “Tash, leave him, we need to go,” Steve’s voice was firm. Natasha clenched her jaw, infuriated at the loss of potentially invaluable information but turned to jog along with the others up to the roof. Safely in the jet, the crew flopped into seats as the adrenaline pumping through them began to subside. Natasha was the first to speak the question on everyone’s mind.

“Now what? Why does HYDRA have any intel on (Y/n) to begin with?” her mouth scrunched to the side as she considered their dilemma. Clint frowned and flipped through the files they had managed to get, double checking for answers that had been elusive so far. Tony simply shook his head. Steve was quiet as he sat, thinking through the potential implications of this new information.

“Put it away,” he said and suddenly stood, walking to the storage area. “Wait until we get back and can lay everything out, hard files plus whatever Tony was able to get his hands on in the computer system.” Tony followed Steve while the others complied.

“Steve,” he said when he caught up to the man, “She’s at the tower alone,” Tony stood at Steve’s side, arms folded. “Alone, with everything we have,” he started to press the issue.

“I know, Tony,” Steve wiped his hand over his eyes.

“Who is she? Is she a threat?” Tony’s voice was low and matter of fact, though Steve did not appreciate the comment. Taking a deep breath he glanced down at the file he still held.

“I have no idea,” he finally said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys so much for reading! You're support is amazing! Much love to all of you! <3


	10. Attack

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An attack on the tower leaves (Y/n) fearing for her life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys are incredible! I keep saying this but the support you guys give is just amazing :) Enjoy!

The following days alone in the tower continued much the same as the first. (Y/n) was beginning to tire of the monotony but without a specific place to call her own there was little to do cooped up in the upper levels of the tower. (Y/n) found herself talking with Jarvis on occasion out of boredom and found that although he might be a computer, he could be quite entertaining. She ventured a few questions about the towers other inhabitants which were politely redirected by the AI. _I suppose that can only be expected, heaven forbid a computer be able to divulge sensitive information of its own accord_ she thought as she headed for the couch. The book was open face down marking her spot. She was nearing the end and another quiet evening looked promising in her reading venture. 

Not long into settling down with the book, a blanket, and a cup of hot tea the lights flickered and then cut out completely. The room was completely black and silent without lights from appliances or the whirring background noise of the air system or fan. 

“Jarvis?” (Y/n) asked tentatively. Surely such a state of the art tower must have a backup generator. _It’ll kick in, just give it a minute_ (Y/n) forced herself to focus on remaining calm. _Steve said this was the safest place for me, no one can get me here_ she reiterated to herself. Putting her book aside, she went to the window. Faint moonlight illuminated the floor directly in front of the window and she saw lights on in the buildings far below. _Not a mass power outage then_ she thought. “Jarvis? What’s going on?” When the computer failed to respond a second time, (Y/n) felt the knot in her stomach tighten. 

Slowly she walked over to the kitchen and as quietly as possible slipped a knife out of the knife block. Considering her life over the past few weeks she justified that this was a completely reasonable precaution. Having the weapon in her hand made her feel slightly better. No sooner had she stepped out of the kitchen than she heard a dull thud. She would have never heard it with the usual background noise of the tower it was so faint. Heart racing, she backed slowly into Steve’s room, silently closing the door. _You’re over reacting, no one’s here,_ she tried so hard to believe herself. Instead she went into Steve’s closet and shut the door. (Y/n) hid as far back as possible behind the lower rack where his slacks hung. 

Holding the knife in both hands, (Y/n) waited, straining to hear anything. _The phone!_ she kicked herself for not thinking to grab the emergency cell phone Steve had left for her. It remained out on the nightstand. It wasn’t far, but was this in fact an emergency? The silence stretched on for ages and she didn’t hear any other sounds and she began to think her mind had been playing tricks on her. 

(Y/n) had nearly built up the courage to leave her hiding spot to get the phone to at least have when she felt a tight grip on her ankle and then a firm tug. She let out a cry as she was dragged from the closet out into the bedroom by her ankle. As soon as she felt the grip on her ankle ease she flipped onto her stomach and launched herself to where she thought the nightstand was, grabbing desperately for the phone. (Y/n) felt it but was tackled to the ground, sending the phone flying off into the darkness. 

“No!” she screamed and slashed wildly with the knife she held. (Y/n) couldn’t see a thing and could only hope that she would connect with her attacker. Another set of hands clamped down on her wrists holding them to the floor above her head and the knife was wrenched painfully from her grasp. (Y/n) kicked, twisted and pulled in a desperate attempt to get free but very quickly her hands and feet were bound and she was thrown into a chair. Her breaths game in gasps and tears began to stream down her cheeks. “Who are you?” she, “What do you want?” she pleaded for answers.

“Stop talking,” the strange voice said. The voice was distorted and deep. Soon, there was a bright flashlight shining in her face and she could barely make out the outline of 3 people in front of her. Their presence was menacing and once more she found herself trying to wrap her brain around how she could possibly have found herself in such a situation. 

“Who are you?” another distorted voice came from her right.

“You came for me! Shouldn’t you have figured that out first?” (Y/n) blurted out without thinking. A hand launched out and grabbed her jaw hard.

“Be careful,” the voice was threatening and she tried to nod her understanding though the person’s grip. “Who do you work for?” the question came quickly and caught (Y/n) off guard. _Work?_

“I’m a nurse,” she stuttered, “I work at General-“ she was cut off by another voice behind her. 

“That is not what I meant,” This voice was different, low and soft yet the threat in his voice was unquestionable. The man, the voice was undoubtedly male, leaned down behind her to speak into her ear. “Answer honestly and you may find a way to survive this,” he hissed. (Y/n) choked back a sob.

“I don’t know what else to tell you, sir,” (Y/n) whimpered. He grabbed the hair at the base of her neck and forced her head back exposing her neck. A knife was placed at her throat.

“I will ask you once more,” she felt the pressure on her throat increase and the sharp blade of the knife began to dig into her skin painfully. “Where does your allegiance lie?” _What? Allegiance? I don’t have –_ (Y/n)’s mind raced. SHIELD? HYDRA? 

“I don’t have any allegiances,” (Y/n)’s voice was bordering on pitiful. “Oh God, Steve,” she whispered through her tears, “You said I’d be safe here,” (Y/n)’s stream of consciousness took over her panicked mind. 

“Enough,” (Y/n) heard another distorted voice say, further away from the ones who had her strapped into the chair. She bit her lip as a sob welled up in her chest when suddenly the pressure from the knife at her neck disappeared. 

 

\-- 6 hours prior—

“Steve, there’s no other way to get to the bottom of this,” Natasha said gently. The frustration was plain on Steve’s face. 

“Yes, there is. We can talk to her,” he scowled at the redhead in front of him. 

“If she’s as trained as Ms. Assassin over here then do you really think a conversation will do it?” Tony asked folding his arms, leaning casually against the doorway in the jet. 

“I thought you prided yourself on your many ways to get information out of people, Natasha,” Steve actively avoided using the term interrogation for fear of what ideas it might put into the woman’s mind.

“I do,” she smirked. “But, like Tony said, what if she’s as good as me? We don’t know her background. I spent one day with her, but it wouldn’t be hard to fake a lack of knowledge of basic self-defense,” she added with a shrug.

“This whole idea is insane,” Steve protested before Clint held up a hand to stop him.

“Is it? Would it be the first time someone had such a deep cover that we couldn’t see them for what they were until it was too late?” Steve had to concede the point. “Both HYDRA _and_ SHIELD have people in deep cover, for all we know she could be a sleeper agent.” Steve simply couldn’t believe this was the path their conversation had taken. 

“We need to know for sure,” Natasha gently urged Steve. 

“But this—“ his voice trailed off and he wiped a hand over his eyes.

“I think your judgement might be a little clouded, Cap,” Tony’s voice was sarcasm free which got Steve’s attention. Was his judgement clouded? Had he bonded to this woman? Could that be her mission? Everything was happening so fast that first night, it was entirely possible that he missed something.

“She doesn’t get hurt,” Steve finally said firmly. His teammates nodded their agreement. 

“If she’s completely untrained and not associated with SHIELD or HYDRA it won’t be difficult to restrain her without incident,” she meant the comment to be comforting but irritation passed over Steve’s face. To her surprise though, he remained silent. 

“We’ll need some assistance,” Clint picked up the discussion once more.

“I’ll make the calls,” Tony offered before walking off. 

“I can’t believe I’m letting this happen,” Steve pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Nothing will happen to the lady,” Thor’s voice was genuinely kind. He put a hand on the distraught leader’s shoulder before he stood to find Tony and offer his assistance. 

\--Back in Steve’s Quarters—

“Lights, Jarvis,” a familiar voice came from in front of her. Instantly the lights and the rest of the power came back online and (Y/n) sat face to face with 3 people in black tactical gear. They were armed to the teeth and each had a headset with microphone and night vision gear obstructing their faces. One by one her captors removed the gear obstructing her face and her stomach dropped.

Natalie, Clint, and Thor stood immediately in front of her and just past them, she could Steve standing in the doorway, his face unreadable. The man behind her reached around and cut the ropes that bound her wrists and then moved in front of her to do the same to the bonds on her legs. (Y/n) had never seen the likes of him before. She briefly took in his dark hair and strange armor before returning her attention to the more pressing situation at hand.

“What. The. Hell.” (Y/n) spat the words at the group in front of her. She sat frozen, unable to comprehend what had just happened.

“Sorry, (Y/n),” Natasha was the first to break the silence. “That mission,” she chose her words carefully, “We needed to be sure you were who you said you were,” Natasha finally said, confident in her phrasing.

“Be sure who I said I was,” (Y/n) repeated numbly. 

“You didn’t know when we’d be back,” Clint offered this time. “Someone in our line of work, well, if confronted with a severe threat they wouldn’t be able to not fall back on training to survive,” he tried to offer a placating smile to (Y/n)’s blank face. 

“Meaning, it would then be obvious to us if you were with either SHIELD or HYDRA,” Natasha added quickly.

“Why would you suspect me of being with SHIELD? Aren’t _you_ with SHIELD?” (Y/n) asked, her confusion temporarily trumping her fury. 

“Wouldn’t be the first time we didn’t know what SHIELD was doing,” Clint huffed a sigh of irritation. 

Steve remained in the background, silently watching. As (Y/n) stood and took a step forward, the three in front of her stepped out of her way. 

“I think I need some air,” she said and made her way to the door. (Y/n) vaguely registered Thor speaking to the strange man that had been behind her.

“Thank you, brother, for your assistance,” he said and she heard a chuckle.

“My pleasure,” was the reply and then a brief flash and both men were gone. As (Y/n) approached the door, Steve unfolded his arms and stood up straighter. 

“(Y/n), I’m—“ he began but (Y/n) held up a hand. 

“Was this your idea?” She stared up at him, forcing herself to take a deep breath.

“No.”

“But you allowed it,” it was not a question. Steve hesitated but finally nodded and (Y/n) watched his fallen face. She turned and walked past him through the door. Steve spoke her name and reached out to put a hand on her shoulder. (Y/n) spun on her heels and very nearly lashed out to smack the side of his face. Instead she balled her hands into fists. 

“Don’t,” she held up a finger in warning to Steve, "Just, please don't." Her eyes were filled with unshed tears and her shoulders were stiff when she finally turned, heading for the door. (Y/n) quickly made her way to the elevator, pressing the “up” button. She was relieved when the doors opened immediately. Before anyone could follow her she pressed the “close doors” button and hit the topmost button. “Does this go to the roof?” she asked Jarvis as the elevator began to ascend. 

“Yes, Miss,” the kind, British voice replied. When the doors opened she stepped out into the cold night and walked over to the balcony railing to look out over the city. (Y/n) was quiet for a long while until she started shaking and then began to cry, unable to stop the tears. Slowly she sank to the ground, holding the back of her hand to her mouth. There was no way she could stay. This betrayal was too much. But where could she go? (Y/n) lowered herself until she was lying on the hard cement of the roof deck and beat her fist once against the ground near her head. Gritting her teeth she forced the tears back. For hours she lie there, staring blankly until sleep finally took her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've already started on the next chapter and it may be posted before the weekend is over! Your feedback is so so helpful--please leave a comment, let me know what you think, what you like, what you don't like, what can be improved upon! Thanks again and much love <3


	11. Aftermath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and (Y/n) struggle with the aftermath of the team's test.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys are awesome! I really struggled with whether to wait and post this chapter tomorrow or tonight but I'm so impatient! Enjoy :)

The next morning (Y/n) found herself lying on a familiar bed. She shot up, looking around for any sign of the others but the room was still. Memories from the previous night flooded back as did the overwhelming hurt. The last thing she remembered was being on the roof. (Y/n) began to question how she got back to Steve’s apartment but cut herself off from that train of thought. Turning, she let her legs hang off the side of the bed as she ran her fingers through her hair. Once more, there was a note held down on the nightstand by the cell phone Steve had left her the night he had to leave for the mission. Cautiously she picked the note up, very unsure of whether she wanted to read it or not.

_”Dear (Y/n),_

_I cannot begin to apologize for last night. Tony has given you a room of your own here-as much as you may not want to stay, this is still the safest place for you at the moment. I’ve taken your things there. Jarvis can direct you to the right room. That is if you don’t want ~~me~~ any of us to show you. I wouldn’t blame you. Natasha still thinks it would be a good idea to continue training with you. She has a point, ~~especially after last night~~ you’re still a target. If you agree, she said she’ll be waiting in the gym, same time. _

_Again, (Y/n), please accept my sincerest apologies. ~~It was against my better judgement.~~ I should not have allowed it._

_Sincerely,  
Steve_

(Y/n) read through the note. It was unlike Steve to be so disjointed, it was almost stream of consciousness. Her temporary confusion was quickly replaced by a familiar resentment. Her trust had been betrayed; she deserved to be furious at the situation. Glancing at the clock, (Y/n) saw that the morning was already quickly wearing away. 

“Jarvis?” She asked folding Steve’s letter and picking up the cell phone.

“Yes, miss?”

“Can you tell me where my room is?”

“Of course miss.” 

 

\-- Debriefing after the mission—

 

The five sat around the conference table, the confiscated files spread out on the surface while the computer files were displayed around them. Outside of a few candid shots from long range lenses, scribbled notes with questions, and her first and last name, there was precious little to explain HYDRA’s intense interest in (Y/n). 

What was far more disturbing was the amount of intelligence about the inner workings of SHIELD. The lists and data they had taken the time to look at in the HYDRA base hardly scratched the surface. There were aliases, entire identities used by SHIELD operatives hidden in the encrypted files Tony had managed to get his hands on. 

“Steve, we need to tell Fury about this,” Natasha said as she leafed through another file, separating it into various categories of information.

“And we do that without getting chewed out for not following mission orders how exactly?” Clint said absently, looking at name after name scrolling past on the projection in front of him. 

“They usually like getting their hands on intel,” Natasha growled before finally looking over at Steve. He was staring out the window. “Steve!” she said again, louder. He blinked and turned to consider her. 

“We made a mistake,” he sighed.

“Well we didn’t follow orders but it’s hardly the first time-“ Natasha started before Steve sighed. 

“With (Y/n),” he took a breath to continue but Natasha interrupted.

“Oh I knew what you meant but if I have to listen to a lecture from you I might have to punch you,” she leveled a glare at him. Clint stood and leaned on the table determined to get back on track.

“SHIELD ordered the base destroyed,” he started.

“Not that unusual, it was a suspected HYDRA base. Orders were to confirm and destroy; no prisoners, no witnesses. Bury the place,” Tony’s voice was distracted as he typed. More lists popped up and he began to use the new data to try to find some pattern in the overabundance of information.

“We followed those orders perfectly well,” Clint raised his eyebrows. “I say we sit on this, for now at least. Not knowing how HYDRA got their hands on this, handing it over to SHIELD is risky at best,” the others nodded. His logic was sound. Steve gave one sharp nod of his head. 

“We’ll report the destruction of the base. No survivors to speak of,” Steve said before standing. “We need to figure out how and honestly _if_ (Y/n) fits into this somehow. It could simply be faulty intel on their part. Compile the data by person – collect any and all information here related to each SHIELD operative so we can know if there’s any information they haven’t gotten their hands on yet. Tony, see if you can find where those files originated.”

With that, the group began the arduous task of data compilation; such information was far too sensitive to allow anyone else to work on. Bruce took his leave. This was a task better left to the others. On his way back to his lab he ran into (Y/n) making her way through the halls, following Jarvis’ instructions on how to get to her private quarters. 

“Hi, (Y/n),” he said tentatively. (Y/n) turned and gave the doctor a sad smile. 

“Hello, doctor,” she said before turning to the door, peeling the tape away that held a key just above the lock. 

“You know it’s Bruce,” he gently reminded her. (Y/n) gave a nod as she fit the key into the lock. “May I come in?” (Y/n) frowned but finally nodded. She was once again floored by the lavish rooms in the tower. They were all huge and looked to be furnished right out of a photo shoot. 

“Very nice,” Bruce raised his eyebrows. 

“Yea,” (Y/n) stood awkwardly. “Is there something you needed?” she finally asked when Bruce remained silent.

“What they did,” he began, taking a deep breath. (Y/n) stiffened. He was going to dive right into this right now and she braced herself. “It was wrong,” he shifted self-consciously. (Y/n) turned and lifted an eyebrow. 

“Just a little,” she said trying in vain to keep the venom out of her tone. He hadn’t been there but she had no idea if Bruce had been involved in the plan in any way.

“I wasn’t,” he said guessing her thoughts. “I didn’t know, they probably knew I’d object. Honestly I’m surprised they managed to get Steve to go along with it.” (Y/n) scoffed at his declaration. “You have to understand, what they found in the base—they had to be sure, beyond 100% sure that you are who you say you are,” he went on when it was obvious (Y/n) wasn’t going to comment. “If it’s any consolation, they’re sure,” (Y/n) frowned. 

“It’s not,” her voice was hollow. “And I know it wasn’t the worst thing to ever happen, but, was that really the only way?” (Y/n) finally asked.

“When you’ve been in the world of spies and secrets as long as these guys have and have seen what they have, yes. They would have considered it their only option,” his voice was kind but firm. 

“I’m not going to run back to them and pretend everything is fine,” she sounded like a petulant teenager even to herself. “I mean, I’m just angry alright? I’m feeling more than a bit betrayed,” (Y/n) added running her hand over her face. Bruce nodded in understanding. 

“Take it easy on Steve,” his statement surprised (Y/n) and she looked up at Bruce from between her fingers. “Enjoy getting settled in,” Bruce said suddenly changing the topic and turning to leave. (Y/n) stared at the door even after Bruce had closed it behind him. _That was, abrupt_ she thought before turning and finding several boxes of her things. Her clothes and her personal things from her apartment were all packed meticulously, ready for her to unpack and settle in. It wouldn’t take long, but she relished the idea of a mindless task to fall into and let her mind go blank. She spent the rest of the morning and early afternoon exploring her rooms and organizing her things meticulously. Before (Y/n) knew it, it was time for her to meet Natasha in the gym. _If I still want to,_ she thought. Rejecting the training was a foolish idea and without another thought (Y/n) was back in her bedroom changing into gym clothes and then was out the door. 

Walking into the gym (Y/n) saw Natasha by herself throwing punch after punch at a heavy punching bag, swinging from a chain. 

“Pretty deserted today,” (Y/n) said when Natasha stopped to look at the newcomer. 

“Barton owes me fifty bucks,” she said with a grin. “He didn’t think you’d show,” Natasha looked proud. 

“ _I_ wasn’t sure I was gonna show,” (Y/n) said with a half-smile. “But considering my miserable failure during an attack, I thought it’d be pretty foolish to snub any training you could give me,” she shook her head. Natasha’s face softened minutely. She wasn’t sorry for what had to be done, but it did make things uncomfortable. 

“Let’s go,” she said and immediately had (Y/n) jumping into another intense workout. 

Each day for the next week, Natasha worked with (Y/n) one on one. She alternated days of physical training with defense. (Y/n) was shocked when she looked in the mirror after just a week. She was looking leaner and she was beginning to see a slight increase in muscle definition. That week she didn’t see Steve at all. (Y/n) hardly saw the others, only Natasha and those sessions were usually too intense to allow for much conversation outside of instructions and the occasional question. 

“So have I managed to make myself an outcast completely?” (Y/n) asked Natasha one day while she gulped down a bottle of water. 

“They’ve been busy,” Natasha’s answer was very noncommittal and (Y/n) didn’t push. After having worked with Natasha daily for a week and a half she had gotten past her initial anger at the woman. The more time she spent training, the less she felt the desire to be cold towards the red head. In fact, (Y/n) had thrown herself whole heartedly into training, enjoying the release it gave her. 

Within the next week, (Y/n) had proven her ablility to take on Natasha in the most basic sense of the phrase when it came to defending herself. Whenever she expressed frustration at her lack of progress, Natasha would patiently remind her that they’d only been training for a very short amount of time.

“You’re making good progress, I assure you,” Natasha said one day at the end of a particularly frustrating session. (Y/n) nodded and growled her thanks before heading off to her room to shower and collapse for the night. She was growing more and more anxious. Cabin fever was setting in and (Y/n) didn’t know how much longer she could last. Natasha watched (Y/n) stalk off and folded her arms in thought. A smirk came to her lips as she went in the opposite direction, sending a message to (Y/n) to meet her earlier the next day.

The following day, (Y/n) showed up at the time Natasha had sent her and was confused to see Steve standing next to her. _What, this had better not be some kind of special Natasha intervention_ she tried to keep her face a mask of calm but her confusion was easy for the other two to read.

“Uh, Natasha asked if I would come today to give you some practice against someone bigger than you,” Steve said clearing his throat. 

“I can barely take on Natasha,” (Y/n) objected with a half laugh though it was more panic than anything. Seeing him sent a stab of pain through her chest. She hadn’t realized she had missed him, and she was shocked at the lingering hurt that remained from when she saw him that night only a week and a half ago. 

“You’ll be fine,” Natasha assured. Her tone was matter of fact and the look she gave (Y/n) said that she’d not tolerate any further objections. “Let’s go,” she said with a clap of her hands. 

Natasha demonstrated each skill on Steve as (Y/n) watched before having (Y/n) attempt it. Even though these were basic self-defense tactics, (Y/n) struggled against Steve’s solid mass and height. She was about to give up when she finally managed to successfully pull Steve down to the mats with her once. Natasha stood watching like a proud mother. When she saw Steve stand and lean down to offer a hand to offer (Y/n) a hand up a sly grin formed on her face. Before the two saw she turned and called over her shoulder, “Same time tomorrow you two!” (Y/n) couldn’t imagine two days in a row of this but she didn’t complain. 

(Y/n) realized that she hadn’t dropped Steve’s hand when she stood. She had been distracted by Natasha’s orders. Trying to act casual she let go and scrubbed her palms over her sides. 

“She certainly isn’t going to go easy on me,” (Y/n) said absently looking at her feet.

“No, easy isn’t really Natasha’s style,” Steve replied in an attempt to stave off an awkward silence. 

“I guess I’ll see you tomorrow then?” (Y/n) took a few steps towards the door before looking back to Steve. The look on his face was unreadable but finally he nodded.

“Yea, tomorrow,” he said before walking off towards his quarters. Steve closed his door and leaned back against it, letting his head hit the door with a dull _thunk_. He should’ve tried to talk to her, to try and apologize again. He hadn’t been actively avoiding (Y/n), but she didn’t have much cause to come out of her room and he had been spending most of his waking hours with the others working to understand the information they had taken from the HYDRA base. Steve’s main goal was to find out how (Y/n) fit into the puzzle. He was worried. Seeing how much Natasha had taught (Y/n) did nothing to ease his anxiety. _No,_ he amended, _She’ll be much safer at least_. Steve forced himself to think on that instead of the possibility that she could be used to get to the bottom of this elusive HYDRA mystery. 

Steve thoughts drifted back to (Y/n)’s training session. At first it had felt awkward, the two hadn’t been around each other much and it was obvious that (Y/n) was still tense. The more entrenched (Y/n) became in Natasha’s instruction, the easier she was able to interact with him. Steve welcomed the distraction of Natasha’s continuous teaching and found himself more relaxed. It wasn’t until the end when Natasha left the two of them that tension surged over the pair bringing with it the unease both felt. 

“Enough,” he pushed himself away from the door towards his shower, ready to turn in early for the night. Analyzing the evening’s interactions with (Y/n) would only serve to further confuse him. 

The hot water in the shower did little to relax him. Steve couldn’t keep himself from thinking back to the night he and the team had returned from their mission, running through everything that happened in his head once more. The look of terror on her face, her tears, and the way she said his name when she thought HYDRA had finally come for her all haunted Steve. Worse though was the hurt on (Y/n)’s face when she looked at him that night as realization dawned on her. He thought back to how he had gone up to the roof when she failed to return and, finding her asleep, lifted her and carried her back to his bed. Steve had been at war with himself over whether or not to wake her but the sight of her under the covers and sleeping stopped him. He thought about how it felt to brush stray hairs away from (Y/n)’s eyes, how she had unconsciously leaned into his hand and how he had finally settled on leaving her to rest. 

He hadn’t slept that night. Instead, Steve had struggled through writing (Y/n) an apology. He had hoped that his intentions and apology might come off better in a letter than if he had tried to muddle through the words himself. As the water began to run cool, Steve thought back to how he had placed the note on the nightstand, sparing one more moment to look at (Y/n) sleeping before he bent over and kissed her forehead. _I’m so sorry_ he’d whispered before leaving her. He hadn’t found the note torn or crumpled in the trash and he could only hope she had understood. Even so, he had decided to let her determine the terms of repairing their friendship, waiting for (Y/n) to come to him when she felt comfortable. The others, particularly Natasha, disapproved but Steve had firmly told them to leave (Y/n) be.

After his shower Steve made himself dinner and settled on the couch with a book, determined to escape his thoughts for at least a little while that evening.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did you think? A little tense still, but that's what makes a good story ;) Thank you for reading as always! Your feedback has been extremely helpful so far, so if you feel so inclined - leave a comment, help me get better! much love <3


	12. Reconciliation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve tries to wrap his brain around how to mend broken trust and a damaged friendship.

Steve continued to assist Natasha in training (Y/n) each afternoon well into the evening. He was impressed by (Y/n)’s progress even in the short few days he had been acting as the stand in “attacker.” The time the two spent in the gym with Natasha was going well, but Steve still hadn’t been able to connect with her outside of training. 

Glancing at the clock, Steve grabbed his water and made his way to the gym for another session. He was surprised to see (Y/n) standing there arms folded in the middle of the room with Natasha nowhere in sight. 

“Where’s Tasha?” he asked (Y/n) who simply raised her eyebrows and shrugged in response. “That’s unlike her,” Steve said with a quick look to the door. (Y/n) voiced her agreement but soon the all too familiar tension settled in. 

Steve shifted his weight between his feet and (Y/n) stood a few steps back from him, arms folded, looking at the ground. Risking a look, Steve peeked at (Y/n) in attempts to get some kind of read from her body language. She certainly wasn’t standoffish but she didn’t look comfortable. He had let this go on for long enough he decided. 

“(Y/n)?” he said gently waiting for her to acknowledge him. When she made eye contact with Steve, he nearly lost his nerve. This kind of confrontation was not his forte. He was about to ask why she’d isolated herself so much but changed tactics at the last minute. “I’ve missed you,” he said looking down at his feet. 

(Y/n) felt a knot in her chest. She had just gotten comfortable being with Steve. At first she nearly wanted to strangle Natasha for asking him to be there but soon, without the pressure of conversation outside of instruction, she had settled into a rhythm. (Y/n) wasn’t sure she was ready to step outside of that comfort zone yet.

“You see me every day, Steve,” (Y/n) gave what she hoped came off as a friendly eye roll, but Steve raised his head and looked at her.

“That’s not what I meant,” his voice was low. (Y/n) was impressed, he managed to keep all but a hint of frustration from his tone.

“Steve, what you did, what everyone did, that’s not something I can bounce back from overnight,” (Y/n) said squaring herself in front of Steve. If he wanted to do this now then she wasn’t going to back down. 

“It’s been weeks, (Y/n),” he took a step closer to her. “I—we didn’t have much choice, we had to know quickly and with 100% certainty,” Steve surprised himself by defending the actions he had denounced to the others so many times. “I’m not saying it wasn’t wrong, it was,” he quickly back peddled when (Y/n) narrowed her eyes. 

“Yes, it was wrong! Do you know how many nights of sleep I’ve lost from that?” (Y/n) stepped forward to match Steve. “It’s not just you I can’t handle right now, it’s _everyone_ , Steve. I’m lonely and I’m scared. You screwed up, do not make this about me being distant,” (Y/n)’s tone was deadly calm, refusing to give into the urge to shout. Steve closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

“What can I do to make it right?” he asked. (Y/n) eyed him closely. 

“Are you asking because you’re tired of feeling uncomfortable?” (Y/n) said quietly. Steve shook his head.

“No, I want to know because it’s my screw up to fix. I thought giving you room was what you’d want, but I uh, guess I never really stopped to think to ask you what you wanted or needed,” Steve’s face turned pink and he put his hands on his hips. For a brief moment, (Y/n) saw back to the reserved man she first met. She considered his question carefully before letting her arms drop to her sides.

“You can show me what scared you enough to think that ambushing me and making me fear for my life was justified,” (Y/n) was firm in her request. It was a question that had been nagging at the back of her mind since that night. What could have _possibly_ been worrying enough to warrant such an extreme action? Steve thought a moment before nodding his head slowly.

“I can do that,” he said thinking through the logistics. “I can’t show you everything, some of these secrets aren’t mine to show, but I can explain it, well, try to explain it,” Steve was about to apologize again when a door slam startled both him and (Y/n). Natasha was walking calmly over. (Y/n) and Steve looked at her questioningly but the redhead simply shrugged.

“Let’s go,” Natasha said before either could question her lateness. Before (Y/n) knew it, Natasha had her panting for breath and exhausted. She was beginning to push (Y/n) harder each day now that she had fully healed. 

Natasha didn’t speak but for giving instructions and corrections. Occasionally she’d give a small smile and a nod of approval when (Y/n) was successful in either bringing Steve down to the ground or escaping. After several successes, Natasha decided it was time for a change.

“Don’t let her escape this time Steve,” she said and folded her arms.

“I haven’t _let_ her do anything, Natasha,” he muttered but he understood what she meant. This time the exercise didn’t end once (Y/n) freed herself. It ended when Natasha said it ended. 

Steve and (Y/n) faced one another, each waiting for the other to give away their intentions. Suddenly, Steve lunged at (Y/n), taking her down to the mats with his shoulder to her middle and arms wrapped around her stomach. (Y/n) let out a grunt as the air was knocked out of her and rolled back over her shoulder, using Steve’s momentum to flip him onto his back. 

Twisted as she was, it was easy for Steve to grab her arm, wrenching it up behind her. (Y/n) tried in vain to elbow him in the stomach with her free arm but Steve had too much control over her and easily moved her so that she missed him completely. As her free arm swung wildly after the miss, Steve grabbed it at the wrist, holding both of (Y/n)’s arms out behind her back and put a foot gently between her shoulder blades forcing her to her knees. (Y/n) growled as she struggled to pull her arms free but Natasha stopped the two before (Y/n) could hurt herself.

“Pulling that hard against someone who has your arms like that will only dislocate your shoulders,” she said calmly and had the two reset. 

Once more the pair stared at one another. (Y/n) flinched and Steve took the opportunity to step forward while she stepped off to his side. Steve knew (Y/n) hadn’t yet received much instruction on how to be offensive and he played this to his advantage. Sweeping his leg out, he knocked (Y/n)’s legs from under her and she landed with a grunt flat on her back. Quickly he was down grab her arms but (Y/n) twisted and forced the two to roll. Steve used the momentum to roll once more, holding (Y/n)’s arms to the ground above her head. When she kicked her legs up to twist out of his grasp, Steve used his hips to pin (Y/n)’s pelvis while wrapping a leg around hers. (Y/n) swore once and tried desperately to find a weakness in Steve’s grip. Once it became clear that she was not going to be able to break free, she stopped struggling as hard, exhausted from her efforts. She waited to hear Natasha call an end to the match but it was silent. 

Steve looked down at (Y/n), watching and waiting to counter her escape attempts. When she began to still, accepting her defeat, he realized how close they were. Unconsciously he looked down at her lips and then back to (Y/n)’s eyes. In the long silence he vaguely wondered why they hadn’t been called to separate signaling (Y/n)’s loss of the match.

(Y/n)’s heart beat faster when she saw Steve glance at her lips and then for the first time in weeks truly looked into her eyes. When she realized how compromising their position must look, she felt her cheeks begin to flush. Before she knew it, Steve had lowered his head and barely brushed his lips against hers.

“Same time tomorrow you two,” Natasha’s voice came from the other side of the gym. Steve flinched backwards and off of (Y/n) like a teenager caught red handed by an adult. When the door slammed shut behind Natasha, both (Y/n) and Steve let out a tense breath. Steve reached down to help (Y/n) up from the mats and the two stood facing each other once again. 

“I should probably get going,” (Y/n) was uncertain about what had just happened. Steve seemed just as uncomfortable and didn’t look inclined to discuss it. (Y/n) gave a hesitant wave as she turned to the door and Steve followed. Before (Y/n) could go down the opposite hall to her room, Steve stopped her with a hand on her shoulder. 

“Would you like,” he started and then seemed to lose his words. “Do you want dinner?” Steve followed his first statement then shook his head, “With me,” he added. (Y/n) couldn’t help but give up a tiny smile at Steve’s awkwardness. 

“Yeah,” _Is this a good idea?_ she thought after she had already agreed. “Umm, dinner would be good,” (Y/n) nodded. “Mind if I shower and change first?” she asked taking a hesitant step towards her apartment, pointing there with her thumb.

“Oh yea, please,” Steve said and then winced. “That’s not what I meant,” he was tongue tied as he tried to fix his statement into something less offensive. When he looked at (Y/n), he was relieved to see her watching him with an amused expression. “I need to shower too, is what I meant,” he sighed and (Y/n) actually laughed. 

“Half hour?” she asked taking a step backwards. Steve gave a nod before heading to his own apartment. 

As (Y/n) shut the door to her rooms, she slapped her palm to her forehead. Was this a good idea? Both wanted things to be like they were before, easy, comfortable, and safe. (Y/n) couldn’t deny wanting those things. Could she let herself feel safe with Steve again? Would this backfire horribly? Questions and doubts piled on top of one another in (Y/n)’s mind until she forced herself to go shower. _If nothing else, tonight will answer some questions,_ she thought as she stepped into the steaming water, trying to let her anxiety wash away with the grime. 

Steve struggled with questions of his own, the foremost being whether or not he was going to strangle Natasha. He cursed himself for his impulsiveness, for giving in. Steve ran through the scene time after time while he washed and dressed. _If it had upset her, she wouldn’t have agreed to come by for dinner_ , he finally convinced himself this was the wisest way to interpret (Y/n)’s actions. Steve ran his hands through his hair nervously before taking a comb to his wet hair. A knock on the door pulled him out of his thoughts and back to reality. 

 

(Y/n) was exhausted from the intense training session and had quickly abandoned the idea of looking put together. Instead she had pulled on a pair of sweats, a tank top, and a soft zip up hoodie. She knew everything else was going to be tense and uncomfortable so she might as well find comfort where she could. Steve opened the door to see (Y/n) standing there, damp hair tousled and looking far more comfortable than he felt. (Y/n) felt a little self-conscious when she saw that Steve had at least put on real clothes. What she didn’t realize was that her appearance was making Steve’s stomach flip as he thought back to the short time she had stayed with him and he regularly saw (Y/n) like this at the end of each day. Finally, Steve stepped back and held the door open.

“Come in,” he swallowed after (Y/n) walked past him and he risked a brief glance to look at her before she could catch him. 

“Did you have something in mind for food or…” (Y/n) asked as she walked to the kitchen. When she had first been brought to Steve’s home here she might have simply looked through the fridge and pantry herself to find something for the two to eat, but this was no longer her refuge. (Y/n)’s question brought Steve out of his thoughts and he took a few quick steps to catch up to (Y/n).

“I was thinking,” he started and leaned over to pick up an old take out menu. “When was the last time you got to have pizza? Or anything besides what you’ve been able to make here?” When (Y/n)’s eyes lit up Steve had to smile with pride at his suggestion.

“Probably since before we met,” she tried to think back through the past month. “I was too scared to after Natasha dropped me off at home and once I was here it just wasn’t possible.” (Y/n)’s stomach made a loud growl and she put a hand over it, embarrassed. 

“I think your stomach agrees with the pizza suggestion,” Steve smirked and (Y/n) had to laugh. 

“I guess it does.” It felt good to laugh with Steve. Her mind went back to when she had laughed so hard at Steve when he had gotten so flustered by the sight of her folding her underthings and a small smile appeared. (Y/n) didn’t notice Steve watching her lost for the moment in her memory.

“What are you thinking about?” he asked quietly, her smile holding his rapt attention. (Y/n) brought her eyes up to meet Steve’s and she felt her cheeks flush. 

“Oh, it’s nothing,” she shrugged and gave him a self-conscious smile. “Pizza then?” (Y/n) quickly changed the subject.

“Right,” Steve turned and picked up the phone. “Anything in particular?” The two discussed various toppings and combinations until they agreed upon two pizzas, a pepperoni and (your favorite). 

Steve left to go meet the delivery in the lobby of the tower and (Y/n) was left to get out plates, drinks and napkins. (Y/n) walked aimlessly around the rooms waiting for Steve to return with their dinner. As she entered the living room, her eyes fell on the book draped over the arm of the couch, face down, marking the reader’s spot. When Steve returned with their food, he stopped in his tracks, seeing (Y/n) inspecting the book. Slowly he put the pizzas on the table before walking over to where she stood. Her fingertips brushed over the spine of the book. It was the one she had been reading while Steve was gone. It was still in the same place she had left it when the lights had suddenly gone out before the fake attack. (Y/n)’s brow was furrowed in an unreadable look. Steve stepped up behind her, looking at the book over (Y/n)’s shoulder.

“I, uh, I wanted to leave it for you in case you wanted to finish it,” his voice was quiet. 

(Y/n) was speechless as she continued to stare at the book, now lost in the memories of that night. Her eyes burned with unshed tears. Steve said (Y/n)’s name softly and she finally turned to face him. A look of anguish passed over his face when he saw the hurt on (Y/n)’s face. 

“(Y/n),” Steve’s voice was little more than a whisper, “I’m so sorry.” (Y/n) closed her eyes and tears ran down her cheek. Reaching out, Steve put his hand gently on (Y/n)’s cheek and when she didn’t shy away, he brushed the tear away with his thumb. (Y/n) took a steadying breath without opening her eyes and Steve slowly pulled her into an embrace. “I’m so sorry,” he whispered again and (Y/n) nodded against his chest. She had felt so alone since the incident and though she tried refusing to admit it, (Y/n) had missed Steve. When Steve felt (Y/n)’s arms slowly wrap around to his back he closed his eyes and sighed in relief. (Y/n)’s stomach growled once more and soon after so did Steve’s. Both laughed, each a bit self-conscious.

“We should eat before the pizza gets cold,” (Y/n) said stepping back, pushing her hair back behind her ear. She looked down at the ground and took several steadying breaths. 

“Yeah,” Steve agreed and wordlessly the two brought their dinner into the living room to eat in comfort.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think? Yes, I know it is a bit gushy in the emotional department but I thought it needed it. You guys have been so amazingly supportive and I cannot thank you enough for all of your positive feedback! If you feel so inclined, leave a comment and let me know how you're liking things so far, any constructive criticism, or even if there's something you'd *really* love to see (I'll try to make it happen, you never know;) )! As always: Much love <3


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So some notes: I came up with this story and the outline of the entire plot before I saw CA:TWS (Which I just saw like 2 weeks ago, I know I’m terrible at keeping up with movies). That being said, this is pre TWS and as you already know SHIELD still exists and I used HYDRA simply because I don’t know a ton about the comics and various bad guys and it’s just one that I know. So hopefully it’s okay for people to just go along with it, no it won’t flow with movie cannon but it’ll work out I promise. Much love!
> 
> PS—Fluff, ALL the fluff – so much fluff it deserves its own *fluff warning* (I think it’s cause I’ve been so sick, I just wanted comforting fluff, I donno but I’m not sorry for it!)
> 
> PPS—I was super sick these past 2 weeks (flat on my back cannot move sick) so I apologize for not updating sooner. This has not been forgotten, I assure you I have big plans for this fic!

Armed with paper towels and paper plates, the Steve and (Y/n) made themselves comfortable on small couch. (Y/n) tucked her feet in under her while Steve stretched out next to her, occasionally glancing in her direction. The two ate in relative silence, each trying to work out how to act around the other once again. As (Y/n) began to feel full she put her plate on the coffee table and leaned back into the couch, legs still tucked in as Steve started in on his seventh slice of pizza. (Y/n) raised an amused eyebrow when Steve caught her watching him about to take another bite. 

“What?” he froze, slice halfway to his mouth. Quickly he wiped a hand over his face near his mouth. (Y/n) shook her head and took a sip of her water. 

“Nothing, you just sure know how to put away food,” she chuckled and Steve’s face turned pink. 

“Yea, something about the metabolism,” Steve muttered before taking another bite.

“Oh I have no doubt,” (Y/n) smiled watching Steve. “It makes a lot of sense, I just haven’t seen anyone eat a pizza like that since I was in college.” (Y/n) sighed and picked up the book from the arm rest, flipping through the last few pages. 

“You can take it with you,” Steve said after a minute, gesturing to the book. “Or, you could finish it now,” he hesitated but (Y/n) gave him a small smile.

“I was almost done,” she held the book up so he could see. There were only about fifteen pages left. Quickly Steve leaned forward to pick up the boxes of pizza and trash.

“You read then, I’ll clean up.” Before (Y/n) could protest he was gone. She chewed on her lip before pulling the book in close to finish it. There was nothing that irked her more than an unfinished book and as much as she felt she should be helping cleanup she couldn’t pass up the opportunity to finish the book. By the time Steve returned, holding two cups of coffee, (Y/n) was walking towards the bookshelf to return the book to its place. 

“What did you think?” Steve asked as he set the coffee down on the table in front of (Y/n)’s spot before leaning back with his own cup. “It’s one of my favorites,” he said before taking a sip.

“It was fantastic,” (Y/n) said as she ran her fingertips over the spines of the books in front of her. When she came to the album she had found what felt like an age ago she stopped. She wasn’t sure if Steve would be upset that she had looked through it. It wasn’t purposeful snooping, but keeping it a secret made (Y/n) feel as if it was more of an invasion of privacy. “I saw this before,” she pulled the album out. “I thought it was a book, and when I saw it was a photo album, well, my curiosity got the better of me,” she mumbled. When Steve didn’t answer, she quickly followed up with an apology and started to put the album back.

“Wait,” Steve said leaning forward to put down his coffee. “Bring it over,” he watched (Y/n) expectantly. (Y/n) slowly brought the photo album over and sat on the edge of the couch next to Steve. He leaned over her shoulder as she opened it and reached out to touch the protected pictures. 

“How did you get this back after…” (Y/n) trailed off, unsure of how to address the topic of him being in the ice for seventy years. 

“Apparently after the war, the SSR and then SHIELD kept my things. I was a pretty, um, public figure I guess is the best way to put it,” he frowned thinking over how to phrase his thoughts. “Even back then people were…”

“Celebrity crazy?” (Y/n) offered and Steve huffed out a small laugh.

“Yea, I guess that’s one way to put it,” his eyes flicked from the album up to (Y/n)’s eyes and back. “That’s my mother,” his finger ghosted over the image of a beautiful woman. As (Y/n) carefully turned the pages of the album, Steve pointed out pictures of his parents. There was even one picture of his grandparents. “Photographs were so much different then. They weren’t a daily thing, it was more of a luxury, more for commemorating something,” he said pointing out a picture of an infant. Steve’s name was written underneath. “I think that was from my christening,” he mused and (Y/n) looked over at Steve, his face was so close to hers that she blushed and quickly looked back to the picture. 

“You were a pretty adorable baby,” she smirked and Steve laughed. 

“I always looked like a baby,” he scoffed and (Y/n) rolled her eyes. 

“You certainly don’t now,” (Y/n)’s eyes crinkled as she smiled. 

“No?” He raised his eyebrows.

“No,” she said resolutely and Steve turned the page. The two sat and went through the entire album, Steve was caught up telling (Y/n) stories and memories that pictures triggered in his mind. Some had the two laughing in stitches, and some had (Y/n) biting her cheek trying to hold back tears at what Steve had lost. When (Y/n) flipped the page and there was a picture of Steve with his best friend, Bucky, before the war, Steve’s face fell. 

“That’s Bucky,” he said quietly. (Y/n) turned and looked up at Steve. It was no secret what had happened to Bucky on his last mission with the Howling Commandos. 

“You don’t have—“ she started but Steve put his hand on her forearm.

“Everyone tip toes around it if he’s brought up,” he looked frustrated but there was still sadness in his eyes as he stared at the picture. “We certainly got into our share of trouble,” a smile came unbidden to his lips. 

“How so?” (Y/n) asked, gently elbowing his side. When Steve looked down he saw her watching him, eyebrows raised, waiting.

“I guess it wasn’t so much we as I,” Steve said sheepishly. “You could say that I had too big of a mouth and no muscle to back it up.” (Y/n) had to laugh at the irony of the statement this giant of a man said. “Bucky did a lot of damage control,” he continued. Soon both were in stitches as Steve recounted story after story of the antics he and his best friend got into as children all the way to adulthood. Steve flopped back on the couch holding his side from laughter and (Y/n) followed suit, her head resting back on Steve’s arm that lay across the back of the couch. As they caught their breath, (Y/n) looked over to Steve’s face which was a mix of contentment and sadness. “I haven’t laughed like that in a long time,” he said when he saw (Y/n) watching him. 

“You must miss him terribly,” (Y/n) said as she rolled her head to the side so she could look at him more easily. 

“Yea,” Steve looked down at his hand resting in his lap. “But, it’s nice to talk and remember him. People seem so—“ he twisted his mouth as he searched for words.

“Skittish,” (Y/n) finished for him. “People don’t like feeling uncomfortable and would rather ignore a subject altogether for their own sake instead of letting someone talk through what they need to,” she pulled her knees up and wrapped an arm around them. “I saw that a lot at the hospital. Denial and avoidance can be extremely powerful forces,” (Y/n)’s sigh turned into a yawn and she covered her mouth with the back of her hand. Steve watched her thoughtfully and nodded. 

“You should probably go get some sleep,” he said but neither moved.

“You promised me some answers, Captain,” (Y/n)’s sleepy eyes met Steve’s. The corner of his mouth twitched up in a half smile.

“Yes, I did. But—it’ll make more sense tomorrow.” Steve had piqued (Y/n)’s curiosity and she rolled her wrist, indicating him to continue. “It’ll be easier if I can show you. We have everything we took from the HYDRA base laid out in the conference room. That’s where I’ve spent the past two weeks trying to figure out how you play in to all of this,” Steve took a deep breath and rubbed the back of his hand with his free hand. “I just know you’re stuck here until we figure everything out, and I feel responsible. I should’ve gotten you out of that alley faster before they saw you trying to help me,” his arm flopped back down on his leg. (Y/n) leveled an amused look at the man.

“Do you honestly think you could’ve made me do anything different?” she tried to lighten Steve’s guilt and gently flicked his chest with her finger. He looked down and laughed while (Y/n) smiled at her success.

“No, probably not,” Steve conceded. 

“So tell me what’s this HYDRA? What’s been happening that has been such a problem?” she asked shifting so she was more comfortable. Steve held his breath when he felt her head rest further on his arm behind her on the couch. 

“They go back to the war,” Steve started and he explained as much as he could about the rogue Nazi science organization as he could. (Y/n) shuddered at what she learned and felt like she might be sick at the mention of human experimentation. “Six months ago, SHIELD got some information that HYDRA was behind an assassination attempt on a low level politician. It rocked everything – we had thought the organization died with Schmidt.”

“I can see why that would be unnerving,” (Y/n) commented. 

“Since then, we’ve intercepted maybe a dozen haphazard strikes and assassination attempts,” he closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. “The problem is,” Steve let his hand drop back behind (Y/n)’s head, “they just don’t make sense. They’re random, there is no discernable pattern whatsoever. The last one we got involved with was when you got dragged into this mess. We, Natasha, Clint, Tony, Bruce, Thor (when he’s here) and myself, were taking each threat SHIELD uncovered. But the attacks were so badly planned and executed that we were pulled off the case by SHIELD to take care of more significant threats.” Steve shook his head, clearly baffled over the strange situation. 

“I guess they’ve slipped since the 1940’s,” (Y/n) said absently as she thought over what Steve had told her. A shiver went up (Y/n)’s back as she thought about what would have happened to her if the Neo-Nazi organization had gotten its hands on her back at the hospital. Her fear had been well founded. She felt it constricting around her. “What will they do if they find me?” (Y/n) asked and when Steve looked up he could see the anxiety written on her face. 

“I don’t know what they have planned, (Y/n),” he said, “But I promise they won’t get you, you’ll be safe,” Steve leaned forward and put his free hand on (Y/n)’s arm. 

(Y/n) nodded, lost in thought. She slowly sank back against the couch, Steve’s arm once again behind her head as he followed suit. (Y/n) absently picked at her nails as her mind wandered through different scenarios ranging from her capture to one of the team being hurt by this insane group. _If HYDRA thinks I’m SHIELD… capture, torture, experimentation…_ (Y/n) flinched and her eyes shot open. Steve’s arm move from resting on the back of the couch to wrapping protectively around (Y/n)’s shoulder when he felt her flinch. 

“I’m not sure which is worse, knowing what they are or not knowing,” (Y/n) stared straight ahead. 

“I’m sorry, that was a heavy burden to drop on you,” Steve said. (Y/n) simply nodded and tried to fight back a yawn. “It’s late, you should get some sleep,” he added after glancing at the clock. It was half past one in the morning. (Y/n) nodded again but frowned. The idea of being alone after this news was distressing. Images of the horrible things HYDRA had done in the past flashed through her mind as her imagination ran wild.

“Steve? Can—can we just sit here for a bit?” (Y/n) asked uncertainly as she looked over trying to read Steve’s reaction. 

“Sure thing, (Y/n),” he gave her a tight lipped smile and the two sank back into the couch. 

It wasn’t long before (Y/n)’s eyelids began to close and her head nodded off to one side. Steve watched (Y/n) slowly fall asleep and began to yawn himself. He thought back to the few times (Y/n) had slept next to him after a nightmare. _She shouldn’t have to be afraid of these things. She shouldn’t even have to know these evils exist in the world today,_ he thought as (Y/n)’s head sank to his shoulder. He wished he could have protected her from this. When (Y/n) shifted as she fell asleep, her head moved to his shoulder and tucked in against his neck. Steve’s breath caught and his cheeks warmed at the feeling and he strained to be able to look down at (Y/n). He brushed her hair back out of her face and when she murmured his name he couldn’t help but smile. Carefully, Steve twisted and leaned back and held (Y/n) as he lay back on the couch. It might be awkward later, but he couldn’t bring himself to wake (Y/n) up, nor could he admit to himself how good it felt to hold someone. (Y/n) stirred slightly as Steve adjusted the two so they could sleep lying down. 

“What is it?” (Y/n)’s voice was heavy with sleep.

“Nothing, go back to sleep, (Y/n). I’m here,” he said against her head. Hesitantly, Steve pressed his lips to her temple. “Just sleep,” he added when (Y/n) curled against him. His own eyelids grew heavy and it wasn’t long before both were deeply and soundly asleep for the first time in weeks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed that! It didn't get quite as much editing as I usually do because I really wanted to get it out. Let me know if you see any mistakes, I'm constantly going through these and editing out typos and missing words. Feedback is extremely welcomed, I'll beg if I need to! Let me know what you liked, what you didn't, and where I can improve! 
> 
> You guys are *amazing* with all of your support! It keeps me coming back and writing more and more -- I can't thank you enough for sticking with me! Much love <3


	14. Revelation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a question for you guys—what is the best way to go about getting reader requests for ideas for one shots? I’d really love to do a series of reader insert one shots with the Avengers and their respective movies but I need ideas!! This would be something extra (This story and _Kidnapped_ are still my main projects and will still be updated regularly, I promise!) just for when I’m feeling like I can’t get my ideas straight etc. Plus they’re super fun, let’s face it, who doesn’t like one shots? Give me your imagines! Anything and everything! Much love you guys, you’re the best ;)
> 
> There's a lot of explication in this chapter and I really hope it doesn't come off as forced. It's really hard to get information out and explained sometimes! Enjoy :)

(Y/n) awoke to the feeling of a warm hand against the middle of her back, holding her tightly and the sound of soft snores. The only thought that went through her sleep addled mind was how safe, how _good_ she felt. Slowly she opened her eyes and shifted realizing that she was still on the couch and that the snoring came from Steve. Pushing herself up on one arm she looked down at him sleeping peacefully and felt a flutter deep in her stomach. (Y/n) closed her eyes and took a deep breath to shake the feeling but when she opened her eyes she saw Steve looking up at her. 

“Morning,” he said sleepily. (Y/n)’s hair fell forward as she looked down at Steve and he gently raised his free hand to tuck it behind her ear. His hand lingered in her hair and he gently cupped her cheek. _Beautiful,_ he thought to himself when (Y/n) gave him a small smile.

“Good morning,” (Y/n) felt her cheeks flush but she didn’t pull away from Steve’s touch. “Slept here all night?” she asked, reluctant to move away from the warmth and comfort she felt. 

“I guess so,” he laughed. Steve wanted to pull her back down and lounge for the rest of the day. He almost did but (Y/n) winced and twisted to the side to stretch.

“Couches aren’t the greatest for backs,” (Y/n) laughed as she sat up, putting a hand to her lower back. Steve followed suit and sat up next to her, watching as she stretched and twisted before massaging her lower back once more. 

“Need some help with that?” Steve asked and (Y/n) turned and looked at him, raising one eyebrow in question. Steve stared at her in confusion until realization dawned on him. “No, no I didn’t mean—“ his voice trailed off and both were blushing now. (Y/n) laughed and shook her head and Steve finally joined in after insisting that it wasn’t funny. “I wasn’t trying to, uh,” he was once again at a loss for words. 

“I know,” (Y/n) gave him a smile and stood to go to her room to get changed. Halfway to the door she turned and saw that Steve had followed her. “I should go get changed. You still have some answers to give, Mr. Rogers,” (Y/n) said as she stepped out of the door. 

Steve stood in the doorway and watched (Y/n) walk down the hall to her rooms. As (Y/n) shut her door behind her, Steve heard a whistle from the other end of the hall. His head whipped around to see Tony at the elevator with a salacious grin on his face giving Steve a thumbs up. _As if he needed any more ammunition…_ he rubbed his forehead and stepped back inside to wait for (Y/n). 

By the time Steve and (Y/n) made their way into the conference room, Tony, Natasha, and Clint were already there staring at boards covered with documents and screens filled with lists of names. Tony raised his eyebrows and leaned back in his chair.

“Good morning _love_ lies,” he said innocently. Steve leveled him with a stare as Clint leaned over to Tony. 

“What’d I miss?” Clint asked overly eager. 

“Oh, I’ll tell you later,” he said to Clint though he continued to look at (Y/n). Natasha kept her eyes down on her work though a smile found its way to her lips. 

“You two gossip more than old women, I swear,” Steve grumbled under his breath. (Y/n) glanced up at him trying to figure out what Tony was referring to. Steve was relieved she hadn’t seen Tony after she left his rooms. Shaking his head he put his hand on the small of (Y/n)’s back to lead her to a table. (Y/n) heard a grunt from behind her as Tony elbowed Clint in the side causing Clint to choke on a sip of water and rather un-subtly nodded in their direction. 

“You alright there Clint? Hairball? Inhale a feather?” (Y/n) asked glancing back over her shoulder. She smiled with pride when she heard Natasha snort and try to hide her laugh before Steve picked up a file. 

“Nope, I’m good,” Clint coughed and glared at Tony who shrugged. 

(Y/n) flipped through the relatively few pages within the file. There were a number of pictures of her, and her name was circled in red on a list with notes near it. _”SHIELD Operative?”_ and _No Existing SHIELD Record_ stood out the most. 

“This is what you found?” she asked flipping to the next page when Steve nodded. _Connection to Steve,_ was written in small letters under a photograph of the two of them running from the hospital the day he rescued her. _Avengers’ tower_ was scrawled on a scrap that was paper clipped to a photo of her face. “You – staged an attack because HYDRA thinks I’m one of you?” (Y/n) shook her head unable to follow the logic.

“(Y/n) SHIELD has absolutely no record of you. Finding information on you in a HYDRA base, well, we had to be sure you weren’t planted to infiltrate SHIELD somehow,” Steve’s eyes were apologetic when (Y/n) finally looked up at him. “None of it fit together. Why would HYDRA be so interested in a civilian?” (Y/n) stared blankly but she finally nodded. If Steve hadn’t told her of the atrocities committed by HYDRA the previous night she might have put up more of a fight over the flimsy evidence that the team used to justify tricking her. She didn’t point out that HYDRA hadn’t been interested in her until a few short weeks ago. (Y/n) set down the folder and walked over to the large cork board covered in pictures and documents.

“What’s this?” she asked and Steve followed her over.

“These are the attacks from the last 6 months. We’ve been trying to find a pattern but, I’m not sure there is one,” Steve sighed. He’d stared at this board too much; just standing in front of it gave him a headache. 

(Y/n) stepped forward and looked at the different colored strings connecting the pictures.

“What kinds of patterns have you looked at?” she asked absently and Tony spoke up.

“I’ve had JARVIS run every algorithm we have and made some new ones up,” he folded his arms across his chest as he watched (Y/n) study the board. He pointed to a screen that showed the numbers and confirmed a lack of any statistical significance linking the targets. 

(Y/n) frowned and chewed on her lip as she stared at the screen. She scrolled through page after page. Tony was right, they had looked at every kind of demographic, potential mutual acquaintances, political affiliation, and even extended families. 

“It appears that they really are just targeting people at random,” Tony shrugged but (Y/n) shook her head.

“That’s not how probability works,” she thought out loud. “There would be _some_ crossover _somewhere_ if this was random simply by coincidence,” Steve stepped closer to (Y/n) and was watching her intently. Tony was about to say something when Steve held up a hand, waiting for (Y/n) to continue though she was deep in thought. “It just doesn’t make sense,” she murmured. 

Clint huffed and was about to make a sarcastic remark when Natasha kicked his shin. (Y/n) had Natasha’s attention now and she moved to stand next to her. 

“That’s it, that’s the pattern,” (Y/n) chewed on her thumb as she stared blankly ahead of her, flanked by Steve and Natasha. 

“What is?” Natasha urged.

“That there is no pattern. Someone went to a hell of a lot of trouble to make these targets appear random,” (Y/n) now had Tony’s attention as well. He leaned forward on his elbows and pressed his fingertips together as he thought. 

“We know HYDRA was behind each attack,” Tony offered as he watched (Y/n). “That was the only commonality,” he added when (Y/n) turned to look at him. 

“How did you know HYDRA was behind the attack,” (Y/n) asked suddenly. The room was silent as the team looked at one another. 

“SHIELD intelligence,” Clint finally admitted. 

“Who responded to the attacks?” (Y/n) asked suddenly. 

“Us, either individually or as a group,” Steve answered with eyes glued to (Y/n). 

“Did the attacks ever stop?” her follow up question filled the room with shocked silence. “Did they?” (Y/n) asked again. Steve was trying to wrap his mind around a revelation that seemed just out of reach. 

“Yes,” he said staring ahead before looking at (Y/n). “The attack on the hospital was the last one,” Steve said watching (Y/n) intently. 

The hospital. (Y/n) looked at the pictures from the attacks again and twisted her mouth to the side. The hospital attack was organized, and her name had been associated with it as the target. The other attacks had been described as minor threats, yet the number of HYDRA agents at the hospital and their ferocity was above and beyond anything she saw on the cork board.

“Didn’t you say that, before the attack on the hospital,” (Y/n) swallowed, “you had been taken off of these cases and that you were told specifically to not intervene at the hospital?” (Y/n) asked finally looking up at Steve. “Why would they have told you to stay away from the hospital?”

“I told you, SHIELD said it was a low level threat and a minor attack; their goal was to minimize casualties,” Steve started to defend but (Y/n) raised her eyebrows.

“Compared to what you just showed me, the attack on the hospital was organized and executed with precision, which doesn’t fit with any of these other attacks,” (Y/n) leaned forward. Before Steve could defend SHIELD’s decision, Tony spoke up in her defense, surprising (Y/n).

“She’s right,” Tony said and Steve pinched the bridge of his nose. “Why would we be called off the HYDRA attacks and told that they can easily be taken care of by standard SHIELD agents only to be ordered to specifically stay away from an attack that was far more sophisticated than anything we’d seen by HYDRA so far?” Tony stood and paced. “The intel had been right so far, why was this one off?”

“HYDRA wanted to get their hands on (Y/n),” Natasha said lost in thought. 

“How could a stream of solid intel get interrupted like that?” (Y/n) asked and she wished she hadn’t from the look that came across Natasha’s face. Natasha cursed and stood knocking the chair over as she did. 

“A mole,” Natasha said and the room went still. “There’s a HYDRA mole in SHIELD.” Steve, Clint and Tony all started talking at once but she shouted over them. “That’s the only logical explanation. Have you _seen_ the lists we pulled from that base? Every single deep cover alias and identity of every single SHIELD agent is on those lists! Tony, have you found any evidence that someone hacked in to get that information?” 

“No,” Tony shook his head, “Even if they did manage to hack in, those details are spread out across secure server after secure server. They’d have to hack each file individually,” he rubbed a hand over his face. 

Steve clenched his jaw and stared at the table in front of him. 

“Even if there is a mole - and that’s a big if, - we still don’t know what HYDRA wants with (Y/n),” he needed to process the growing crisis that had seemingly materialized in front of them out of nowhere yet his mind kept going to (Y/n). They were still no closer to finding answers and the further this discussion went, the more the state of her safety weighed on him. 

“Maybe it’s time we find out first hand,” Natasha said watching Steve carefully before looking to (Y/n). Steve stood and gave a withering glare to Natasha who met his eyes with a stare of her own. 

“Do not-“ Steve started but Natasha interrupted him, looking directly at (Y/n).

“(Y/n), maybe it’s time you reconsider those offers…” Natasha’s voice was kind but firm as she gave (Y/n) a meaningful look. 

(Y/n)’s heart was racing. She knew the redhead was not referring to the offer of protection. _I’m not cut out to be some kind of government special agent,_ she thought to herself. 

“How would you justify someone like me, a nurse who has no training whatsoever to bring to the table of spies and intelligence, joining SHIELD?” (Y/n) tried to keep her voice as steady as possible. Natasha watched her with a mixture of sympathy and resolution. 

“You don’t have to, (Y/n),” Steve said turning (Y/n) so that she faced him. He couldn’t mask the fear in his eyes and (Y/n) had to take a moment to remember to breathe. If he was scared, she should be petrified. 

“Steve,” Natasha spoke his name in warning. “We don’t have a lot of options here,” she looked to Clint and Tony for help. Clint nodded and leaned forward.

“She’s right Steve. If there is a mole, we can’t trust the intelligence we’re being fed,” Clint was gentle but Steve refused to turn to him and continued to look at (Y/n). “The only way we’ll get to the bottom of this is to go to the source and HYDRA isn’t actively looking for any one of us. We’d go in a second if it were possible,” his eyes flicked to (Y/n). 

The look on Steve’s face went from fear to pure horror when he realized what Clint was hinting at. (Y/n)’s stomach dropped as she watched Steve. She looked past him to Clint who smiled apologetically. 

“We won’t let anything happen to you, we’ll follow—“ Clint started to reassure (Y/n) when Steve cut him off furiously.

“You cannot be suggesting this. She’s a civilian not _bait_!” Steve was horrified at the thought. His teammates had never seen HYDRA the way he had. They didn’t know first-hand the atrocities HYDRA was capable of. Tony finally spoke up in Natasha and Clint’s defense.

“I know you want to protect her, Steve, none of us wants anything to happen to (Y/n),” he was surprisingly calm as he addressed Steve. “But as long as HYDRA is out there, she’ll never be safe. She’s on their radar and we don’t know why. Add that to the fact that we can’t even begin to guess what HYDRA is up to,” Tony shook his head so he could speak directly to (Y/n). “(Y/n), even if you were to be put into some kind of protection, change your identity, all of it, with a mole in SHIELD they’d find you like that,” he snapped his fingers. 

(Y/n) closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She wanted so desperately to run and hide. Instead she opened her eyes and met Steve’s gaze. He was looking at her with undisguised dread at what was being suggested. Desperately she tried to smile, to try to reassure him. Denying the logic of what was being said was foolish at best and finally she turned to Natasha, giving her a small nod. 

Steve felt trapped. He knew this was their best chance at getting inside of HYDRA and possibly the only way to ultimately ensure not only (Y/n)’s safety, but to return the integrity of SHIELD’s security. 

“You don’t have to,” Steve said, unable to find confidence in his statement. 

“Yes,” (Y/n) looked down at her shaking hands. She clasped them together to try and still them. “I really do, Steve.” There was no point in deluding herself that there was any other path. Who knew how many lives were at stake? Even if she were to refuse, (Y/n) knew that she’d live the rest of her life in the shadow of HYDRA’s threat and she had a feeling her life wouldn’t be a long one in this state. The look in Steve’s eyes broke (Y/n)‘s heart and she reached out and took Steve’s hand, squeezing it. “It’s not your fault,” she whispered. Steve stared at his hand in hers. “What do I need to do?” (Y/n) asked and looked over at Natasha.

“Field trip,” Tony said. 

Steve would have glared at him but he was watching (Y/n) and trying to keep herself composed. He focused intently on his hand in (Y/n)’s before shifting it so he was holding her hand in both of his. 

“We need to go to DC to meet with Fury and make your status within SHIELD official,” he muttered, eyes locked on (Y/n)’s hand. 

“We’ll set things up for you from here,” Natasha offered and made her way to the door. She elbowed Tony and gave him a meaningful stare as she passed him.

“Ah! –“ Tony griped but stopped when Natasha raised her eyebrow. “Uhh you should take the jet, avoid standard airport security and all that,” Tony gestured vaguely with his pen. 

One by one, Natasha, Tony and Clint filed out of the room leaving (Y/n) and Steve sitting in silence at the conference table. (Y/n) was trying to wrap her head around what was ahead of her, what she might be asked to do. When she finally looked up at Steve, she saw a pained expression flash across his face. 

“I’m sorry,” was all he could say for a long time. (Y/n) gave him a sad smile. “I broke my promise, I said you’d be safe,” Steve’s voice was low. In just one morning Steve’s control had slipped through his fingers as the world seemed to turn on its head.

“Steve,” (Y/n) said quietly and waited until he met her eyes, “I don’t blame you,” she insisted. 

“Excuse me, Ms. (y/l/n) and Mr. Rogers, Mr. Stark requested that you, pardon me, ‘get over it and kiss her, Steve, or get moving.’ The jet will be ready in one hour,” JARVIS piped up much to the embarrassment of both (Y/n) and Steve. Steve was red up to his ears and (Y/n) rubbed her forehead and laughed as she looked away. 

“Thank you JARVIS,” Steve said, “Please give Stark my standard reply.”

“Of course, sir.”

“Do I want to know?” (Y/n) asked as they stood and walked back to their hallway. 

“It’s, uh, probably not for mixed company,” he laughed. 

(Y/n) walked into her room, surprised to see that Natasha was waiting for her holding a suitcase. The redhead gave (Y/n) a sad smile and held the empty suitcase out for her to take. 

“I thought you might need this,” she said as (Y/n) reached out and took it from her. 

“Any suggestions on what to pack?” (Y/n) asked as they walked to her closet.

“Whatever will fit. It could be you come back here tomorrow or it could be a month,” Natasha leaned against the door jamb while (Y/n) started folding her sparse wardrobe. 

Silently, Natasha left and returned with (Y/n)’s toiletries and other essential items. Packing went quickly and before long, there was a knock at the door. (Y/n) opened the door to find Steve standing there, suitcase in hand. Natasha put a hand on your shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze in farewell before sliding past Steve and disappearing down the hallway. 

“Cheer up, Steve,” (Y/n) nudged him with her shoulder as they made their way to the elevator. “Maybe we can do some sightseeing.” Steve chucked and (Y/n) smiled proudly. 

On the jet, each time Steve began to apologize or discuss their current predicament, (Y/n) quickly redirected him. She brought up the stories he had shared the previous evening as they looked through old photos, asked questions about Washington DC when Steve mentioned that he had a place there, and even teased him about the night the two met in the alley. 

“I still can’t believe you were shocked that I didn’t know your name,” (Y/n) laughed and leaned back in the leather seat. 

“Hey, I’m still getting used to people I’ve never seen knowing my name,” he held up his hands with a smile. “In my defense, most people who run at me like that are either trying to kill me or get an autograph. Honestly, I’m _still_ not sure which is worse!” (Y/n) held her arm over her stomach as she laughed. As each sat there, catching their breath, Steve’s smile slowly faded. “(Y/n), I’m sorry that you got dragged into this because you were trying to help me.” (Y/n) had had enough and leaned forward, grabbing his upper arm. 

“Look at me,” she said firmly and Steve slowly looked up. “How about placing the blame where it belongs for once? This is all the fault of a group of insane people. I was the one who saw you and ran in before thinking. I broke a rule,” (Y/n) gave him a sly smile when she saw Steve’s confusion. “Never go to help someone unless you know it is safe to do so,” she recited. “But,” (Y/n) paused, the smirk gone, “I’d do it again.” 

Steve was about to respond when the pilot’s voice came over the intercom. 

“ _We’re starting out descent and will be landing in approximately twenty minutes._ ” 

The two straightened themselves out in their respective seats; (Y/n) unfolding her legs from underneath her and (Y/n) sitting up straighter as the jet quickly made its way to the ground. The next few hours were a blur as Steve ushered (Y/n) into a taxi headed for DC. When the addressed they stopped at was a hotel instead of an apartment building, (Y/n) shot a questioning look at Steve who discretely shook his head. 

The lobby of the hotel was beautiful and (Y/n) found herself staring at the luxurious fireplace flanked by large, plush armchairs. There were beautiful paintings and rugs and though it had a very formal look about it, the area was warm and inviting. Steve walked up behind (Y/n), grinning as he watched her take in the beauty of the hotel. When (Y/n) felt Steve’s hand on her back she turned to him shaking her head.

“This is insane, why stay at this kind of a place? Your apartment would be just fine,” she stammered.

“No, it’s probably being watched,” Steve leaned down to speak into (Y/n)’s ear as quietly as possible. “Play along,” he added and tugged on her elbow as they went to the desk. “One room please,” Steve said keeping his head down and eyes trained on the counter. 

“Yes sir, name?” the attendant asked as he began typing into his computer.

“Um, unlisted please, she—“ Steve put his hand on (Y/n)’s shoulder, “for her safety. That’s what the women’s shelter told her,” he added looking over at (Y/n) now who put on a worried and dejected look. It wasn’t difficult to act the part of a woman fearful for her life all things considered. The attendant nodded, a look of pity on his face as he started typing once again and handed them a keycard. 

“Room 351, please enjoy your stay here Ms. Doe,” he said quietly. Steve and (Y/n) nodded their thanks and made their way to the elevators. 

Once they reached the room, Steve made (Y/n) wait at the door while he checked the bathroom, closet, and under the bed before he let her come in. While (Y/n) shut the door behind her and latched the deadbolt Steve pulled the curtains closed and flipped on the rest of the lights. It was getting to be quite late and both were exhausted from an emotional and stressful day of revelations and traveling. 

“I could fall asleep on my feet,” (Y/n) said leaning against the wall. 

“Can’t say that I blame you,” Steve chuckled. 

With a groan (Y/n) pushed herself away from the wall and to her suitcase to pull out a change of clothes to sleep in. (Y/n) went into the bathroom to change and wash up for bed and came out to find Steve in a pair of sweats and no shirt with his back turned to her. She felt her heart beat faster and subconsciously chewed on her lip before looking away, embarrassed. When Steve pulled a tee shirt on he turned around and saw her waiting.

“I think the attendant thought you’d be staying here alone,” he said gesturing to the one bed. “I can sleep on the floor,” Steve quickly offered and (Y/n) rolled her eyes with a laugh. 

“We both slept on the same couch last night, Steve. I think we can handle a bed,” she raised her eyebrows and Steve smiled with a tilt of his head.

“I guess you’re right,” he said watching (Y/n) sit on the edge of the bed. She rolled her head from side to side, stretching her neck before twisting her torso. It was Steve’s turn to flush as he stood on the opposite side of the bed, unable to take his eyes off of (Y/n). “Still sore?” Steve asked and (Y/n) grunted her affirmation.

“The plane ride didn’t help,” (Y/n) sighed and Steve walked over and put his hand on her shoulder. He hesitated, but slowly squeezed his hand and (Y/n) let her head drop forward with a soft groan. As Steve ran his hand over her back he realized how riddled with knots and muscle spasms it was. 

“Lay down,” he gently urged and (Y/n) climbed onto the bed without a second thought, folding her arms to cushion her head as she lay face down. 

Steve carefully climbed next to her, kneeling as he leaned over and ran his hands over her back once more before he kneaded into the sore muscles. Slowly he worked across her shoulders and down her back. When his fingers brushed across the skin exposed where her shirt didn’t quite meet her shorts, Steve held his breath. The sound that (Y/n) made when he pressed into the painful muscles in her lower back made Steve’s ears burn. As the worst of the spasms eased, (Y/n) took a deep, cleansing breath.

“This probably never happens to you,” (Y/n) mumbled into her pillow as Steve sat behind her.

“Not often, but on occasion yes,” he laughed thinking back to the number of times he had been thrown through windows and smashed into concrete. 

“Then I promise to return the favor sometime,” (Y/n)’s voice was tired and Steve chuckled at her sleepy comment. 

“I’ll hold you to that,” he teased. 

(Y/n) slowly turn over so she could look up at Steve to thank him. (Y/n)’s voice was lost when she saw that Steve was looking down intently at her. Unable to look away from his eyes, she simply let her fingertips brush over Steve’s hand. The look of concern on Steve’s face vanished at (Y/n)’s touch and he briefly looked at her lips before he leaned forward. He hesitated for just a moment before he brushed his lips against (Y/n)’s. (Y/n) brought her hand up to Steve’s shoulder when she felt his hand hold onto her hip. Carefully, he hovered above (Y/n), and closed his eyes as he kissed her gently. 

Steve’s confidence began to build when he felt (Y/n) lean up into him. Slowly he ran his tongue over her bottom lip before he tugged on it with his lips. The breathy moan that escaped (Y/n)’s lips offered the opportunity for him to deepen the kiss which he did not waste. (Y/n) wrapped both of her arms up and around Steve and he gripped her waist tighter, pressing his body down against hers. As (Y/n) let her tongue brush against Steve’s, one hand wound its way into his hair, the other held tightly to his shoulder. Both were breathing heavily and Steve pulled back reluctantly, resting his forehead against (Y/n)’s. 

“(Y/n),” he whispered and brought his hand from her waist up to brush her cheek. “I—“ he was at a loss for words. 

“I swear if you say ‘I’m sorry,’ Steve Rogers, you’ll regret it,” (Y/n)'s voice was ragged. Steve smiled and placed another very soft kiss on (Y/n)’s lips. 

“Sorry is not the word I’d use,” he murmured, leaning back so he could look down at (Y/n)’s face. “I’ve wanted to do that for a while.” 

Steve admitted and when (Y/n) smiled up at him, he couldn’t stop the goofy grin that plastered itself on his face. (Y/n) reached up and let her hand rest alongside his cheek before sliding it to his neck and shoulder, her face the picture of contentment. When a yawn came unbidden, (Y/n) covered her mouth with the back of her other hand. With that cue, Steve carefully rolled off of (Y/n) and checked the room’s security once more before turning out the lights. As he climbed back into the bed, he pulled the covers up over himself and (Y/n), smiling to himself when he felt her pull close to him. 

“Get some rest,” he whispered as (Y/n) put her head against his shoulder and wrapped an arm around his middle. Steve turned his head to place a kiss against the top of her head, pausing to inhale the smell of her hair. “Tomorrow will be a long day,” he sighed and (Y/n) nodded, already starting to drift off.

“Goodnight,” (Y/n) said sleepily and Steve smiled, snaking his arm underneath her so he could run his hand up and down her back. 

“Goodnight,” he whispered back and (Y/n) smiled against his neck as she closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BOOM! I hope you guys enjoyed that ;)
> 
> Alright, time for the bad news-- work is about to get crazy for me. I leave in a week and a half and will not be back until mid August - *however* I am still planning to update through the summer! Chapters will probably be every other week (I'll be alternating between this piece and _Kidnapped_ which is my Bucky Barnes/Reader insert). Like I've said all along, this work will not be abandoned and if anything I just keep getting more and more ideas so who knows how long it will end up being! (As of right now we're no where near into even half of the notes I've got written down!) 
> 
> As always, let me know what you think! Feedback keeps me going! Thank you so much for reading, much love <3


	15. Meetings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (Y/n) finally gets to meet Director Fury.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So we start out with some fluff, but hey, that’s how all romantic things start right? That lovey infatuation phase right? Hopefully this chapter doesn’t have too much dialogue to be boring but still have some explication to get through to help move the plot forward. Hope you guys enjoy this :)

Steve awoke to his arm draped over (Y/n)’s waist, her back to him as he curled protectively around her. He head still filled with sleep, he pressed his head into the back of (Y/n)’s neck, gradually tightening his grip around her middle. As the room grew brighter with the rising sun, Steve slowly became more aware and realized the intimate way he held (Y/n). His ears and neck burned. _Do I wake her? I should move back…give her some personal space, does she want personal space? She’s asleep…_ Steve’s mind raced while he pushed himself up on his elbow so he could look down at (Y/n) sleeping beside him. 

(Y/n) began to stir when Steve shifted, bringing her slowly out of her deep sleep. She absently wrapped her hand around Steve’s that still rested lightly on her waist bringing a sleepy smile to Steve’s face. Laying his head down on his arm, Steve started to absently run his fingers through (Y/n)’s hair. His mind raced with worries, _Is this strange? I hope it isn’t strange. Gosh her hair is so soft._ He didn’t have to let his nerves go for too long. (Y/n) opened her eyes and noticed her hand resting on Steve’s. She curled her fingers around his, squeezing once before rolling over to face him.

“Morning,” he said quietly.

“Good morning,” (Y/n) whispered, suddenly shy. This was not the first time he had stayed with her but in the past it was purely to stave off fears and anxieties. Here and now it felt different. _Don’t let it get weird,_ (Y/n) thought and mentally shook herself. Steve noticed her slight apprehension.

“You ready for today?” he asked. They hadn’t talked through everything that needed to happen, but first and foremost was a meeting with Fury. 

(Y/n) brow creased in concern as she thought about the unknowns she had to tackle today. Steve took her hand in his and squeezed in an effort to ease her apprehension. 

“I promise you won’t have to go through any of this alone,” Steve reassured and (Y/n) gave a slight nod of her head. “And no one will force you into anything you don’t want,” his voice turned protective. 

“We should probably get up,” (Y/n) sighed and watched Steve who grunted in agreement. “We’ve got a lot on our plate today.”

Steve felt a tightness in his stomach at her words, liking the way she said _we_ more than he ought. Neither of them wanted to move away from the comfort of lying there, warm and safe for the moment. The kiss from the previous night wasn’t brought up and the unmentioned moment hung over their heads. It wasn’t an unpleasant feeling, but it did feel slightly awkward as their relationship to one another was far from simple. Finally Steve cleared his throat and sat up.

“Do you want the shower first?” he asked politely. 

“That actually would be fantastic,” (Y/n) wiped the sleep from her eyes and stood going to her bag for her toiletries before stepping into the bathroom and shower. 

Steve actively worked to keep his mind occupied away from the idea of (Y/n) behind the door showering, opting for a morning workout in the room instead. When (Y/n) stepped out of the shower she grabbed the small hotel room towel and wrapped it around herself. She cursed herself for not bringing in a change of clothes. It wasn’t a habit of hers, hating the feeling of putting on clean clothes while she was still damp from the shower. It created a slight problem now as she bit her lip. _Fuck it, just ask him for a shirt or something _(Y/n) finally gathered the courage.__

__“Steve?” she cracked the door open to the bathroom and peered around into the room. He was on the floor doing push-ups and she bit the inside of her cheek to keep a straight face at the sight._ _

__“Yeah?” he grunted and sat back, glancing behind him. He quickly made his eyes go to (Y/n)’s face and rigidly held them there._ _

__“Can you toss me a tee shirt? Please?” she winced._ _

__Steve sat there for a second dumbly before he nodded and nearly stumbled getting to his feet. He went immediately to his pack decidedly against going through (Y/n)’s suitcase. He handed her a large tee shirt of his through the door when she reached out to grab it. She gave him an apologetic smile as a thank you and he dipped his head in return. Steve was red to his ears when he stepped back. The speed with which (Y/n) opened the door wearing his tee shirt startled him. It came down nearly to her knees and while she walked past Steve she used the towel to continue squeezing the water from her (y/h/l) hair._ _

__“All yours, Steve,” (Y/n) walked past him quickly doing her best to maintain some semblance of modesty. Steve was speechless as he watched her but quickly stepped into the bathroom with one last glance behind him at the sight of (Y/n) walking away from him. He liked the sight of her in his shirt too much. When his thoughts began to wander to whether or not she had anything underneath it he chastised himself. _Pull yourself together,_ he thought as he shut the door leaning against it. Maybe he needed a cold shower._ _

__When Steve got out of the shower he stepped into the room with a towel around his waist. (Y/n) had finished dressing and was brushing her hair in the mirror, picking at the minimal makeup she had brought. She smiled to herself when she saw Steve out of the corner of her eye walking into the room._ _

__“I’ll… go in the bathroom to finish this so you can have some privacy.” It was (Y/n)’s turn to blush. Looks weren’t the reason she enjoyed being around this man but she couldn’t help but appreciate the sight of him without a shirt. Steve noticed her shyness and the blush that creeped down her neck and smirked to himself when he heard the bathroom door close. At least he wasn’t alone in this._ _

__(Y/n) stepped out of the bathroom only after calling out to Steve and assuring herself that he was decent. She found him sitting on the bed that had been hastily made holding his phone._ _

__“Fury will be here within the hour,” he said standing to put his phone back into his pocket._ _

__(Y/n) nodded and walked over to put her things back into her suitcase. As she passed Steve he stepped up behind her, putting a hand on her waist. Slowly he turned her around to face him, (Y/n) unable to resist. Instead of the hungry eyes (Y/n) had seen last night, Steve’s eyes were bright as he looked down at her._ _

__“May I?” he asked quietly as his other hand found its way to (Y/n)’s waist._ _

__(Y/n) could hardly believe Steve, part of her wanted to giggle that he was asking permission to kiss her but the look in his eyes was so intense she simply inclined her head. Steve brought his hand up to her chin and tilted her head up towards him and let his lips press lightly to hers. It was a gentle kiss, unhurried and tender. When he at last pulled away, (Y/n)’s eyes were still closed and he placed one more kiss to her lips._ _

__“That’s how I should’ve kissed you last night,” Steve’s hands rested on (Y/n)’s hips and her hands remained on his chest where they had wandered as he kissed her._ _

__(Y/n) took a steadying breath and a small grin. _They were both pretty perfect,_ she thought to herself, too embarrassed to say out loud. At that moment there was a harsh knock on the door making both flinch - (Y/n)’s fists tightening around Steve’s shirt and Steve pulling (Y/n) to his side protectively while his eyes went immediately to his shield in the corner. He signaled for her to stay behind him as he silently picked up his shield and went to the door, looking through the peephole. Taking a deep breath, Steve slid the deadbolt back and opened the door, stepping back to let the man through. _ _

__To say the man was intimidating would be an understatement. (Y/n) stared openly at the man in the long black coat and eyepatch before forcing herself to snap out of it. The man’s eyes went to where (Y/n)’s hand clutched at Steve’s elbow and shot a quick look to Steve while he threw the deadbolt once again._ _

__“I assume you must be (Y/n, L/n),” he held his hands behind his back as he looked you over. (Y/n) got the distinct feeling he was sizing her up. What he could be taking measure of, she couldn’t begin to fathom. Finally he gave a curt nod._ _

__“Nick Fury,” the man said and pulled out the one chair in the hotel room gesturing for the other two to sit opposite him on the edge of the bed. “I was disappointed to hear you’d gotten the drop on us, on Agent Romanoff no less,” (Y/n) couldn’t tell if he was amused or not but Steve suppressed a smirk beside her. He turned his attention to Steve. “Do you want to tell me why I’m meeting you here instead of in my office?” (Y/n) thought that this man knew exactly why and that it was Steve’s turn to be scrutinized and the extent of his knowledge examined._ _

__“Sir, as it stands, we believe there’s a mole in SHIELD,” Steve slipped seamlessly into formality._ _

__“And why is that?” Fury remained unusually calm for such a declaration, (Y/n) thought._ _

__Steve recounted the events of the past several weeks, explaining the intelligence that had been collected from the HYDRA base in Europe, of the staged attack carried out by him and his teammates on (Y/n) to ensure her loyalties, and of the work he, Natasha, Clint, and Tony had been working tirelessly on as they tried to piece together pieces of the puzzle. (Y/n) tensed during the recount of the attack; it was still a sore subject to her. He went on to explain the connections (Y/n) had made the previous day leading to this emergency trip to meet with Fury._ _

__“We couldn’t trust communicating any other way, we have no way of knowing how secure lines are right now,” Steve explained. Fury sat there silently for a long time before he finally spoke._ _

__“It seems that you’ve been doing quite the bit of work on your own, Captain,” Fury held Steve in a hard stare._ _

__“It’s been a team effort,” Steve said stiffly._ _

__“And what conclusions have you made?”_ _

__“That there is a HYDRA mole in SHIELD, we don’t know how, why, or who.”_ _

__“Your orders were to destroy that base, not to collect intelligence,” Fury’s stare was unwavering. Steve met the stare with just as much conviction._ _

__“If we hadn’t how long would it have taken us to figure out what was going on?” (Y/n) had never heard Steve’s voice so deadly calm._ _

__Fury shifted in his seat, leaning back as he looked at (Y/n) once. She felt uncomfortable under his gaze and quickly dropped her eyes to her lap._ _

__“It’s been suspected for a while,” Fury finally admitted._ _

__(Y/n) thought that Steve might attack the man sitting so calmly in front of him. She was stunned by his admission but the restrained rage within Steve next to her was worrisome. As discretely as possible she put her hand on his back. At the feeling, Steve immediately took a deep calming breath, bringing his rage down a notch though he still glared at Fury._ _

__“Why didn’t you...didn’t you think this was information that _might_ have been important? Essential even?” Steve clenched his jaw. Fury raised an eyebrow and tilted his head to the side briefly._ _

__“I wasn’t sure how deep it went. I also didn’t trust those attacks, they were off in too many ways and I refuse to take unnecessary risks,” he explained though Steve seemed unconvinced._ _

__“Have you been able to find out anything else? Who it might be, if they’re planning something, anything?” Steve leaned forward, hands clasped with his elbows on his knees. “How (Y/n) fits into any of this?” he added reluctantly._ _

__Fury took a deep breath and shook his head._ _

__“Unfortunately, no. We need fresh information. Intelligence that hasn’t trickled down through SHIELD channels. HYDRA has gone radio silence on us. No rumors of attacks, of the location of bases, nothing. The only thing we know they’ve wanted but haven’t finished is getting to you, (Y/n),” Fury finally turned his attention to (Y/n)._ _

__(Y/n) tried to keep a mask of calm but the tension in her shoulders wouldn’t drop. Steve put his hand on the small of her back. Fury noticed the small movement but said nothing, only made eye contact with Steve._ _

__“What are you getting at?” Steve was wary. He had been hopeful that Fury would have other information to offer, other plans and strategies. He could feel those hopes slowly slipping through his fingers._ _

__“She’s,” he started but then turned his attention to speak to (Y/n), “That is, you, are our best shot at infiltrating HYDRA,” Fury didn’t look happy to be suggesting this but neither did he look apologetic. (Y/n) tried to swallow but her mouth had gone dry. She’d accepted and even agreed to this before but somehow it became far more real sitting in this room with this strange man. “I’m not talking stealth infiltration,” he added making sure (Y/n) knew what he was implying. _Bait, kidnapping, that’s what will happen to me,_ she nodded._ _

__“She can’t go alone,” Steve spoke up. “We don’t know enough and if HYDRA is completely silent now, who knows if we’ll ever be able to find her,” he still objected to the plain entirely._ _

__“We have ways to keep track of (Y/n),” he turned to look at (Y/n) who was a picture of strained stoicism. “You won’t be alone, you’ll have a team tracking you—“_ _

__“I’ll be with her,” Steve cut Fury off._ _

__“And how do you expect to be able to protect her? Do you really think they’ll keep you together?”_ _

__“Maybe it’ll ensure SHIELD’s priorities of getting her safely home,” Steve’s thinly veiled threat hung in the air._ _

__“Captain, she’s our only shot at figuring out just what in the hell HYDRA is doing. Believe me, she’ll be top priority,” Fury leveled a look at Steve that made him hold back a biting retort. “We’ll start training you in earnest now, (Y/n). There’s a lot you need to know to get through this.”_ _

__“Believe it or not, Natasha already started that,” (Y/n) gave a half smile._ _

__“I’m not surprised. Tell her I said to step it up, we won’t have much time once you start to go public again,”_ _

__“Sir?” Steve asked warily_ _

__“The longer she stays whisked away from the real world, the more HYDRA will lose interest. (Y/n), you’ll need to start going about daily life again soon, be visible.”_ _

__“Is that really—“_ _

__“I’m not saying be reckless,” Fury ignored Steve, “But you’ll need to start acting normal, going on errands, runs, have Natasha help you figure out what would be least conspicuous while appearing normal.”_ _

__“She can’t go back to living at her apartment,” Steve said considering the safest way to control the many variables being introduced that could endanger (Y/n)._ _

__“No, not live there. But going back to collect her things and move her over to the tower permanently might be a safe way to get HYDRA’s attention once again,” Fury said, “That and making you an official SHIELD operative.”_ _

__“What about my job at the hospital? There’s no way I can go back is there, not without endangering every patient and staff member there?” (Y/n) felt a tightness in her chest as her chances of returning to a career she loved had nearly faded entirely._ _

__“No, (Y/n),” fury said “and I’m truly sorry about that,” Steve’s eyes widened a fraction at hearing this from Fury. “But,” Fury folded his hands and leaned forward putting his elbows on his knees, “when all this is over, you’ll have a place here. Whether as a nurse or operative, we take care of our own.”_ _

__Steve regarded the man in front of him differently, with a higher degree of respect outside of rank. He wondered if anyone had been privileged to see this side of the Director. He certainly hadn’t._ _

__“This is not something I’m approaching lightly. Our best shot at getting to the bottom of what’s happening is for you to be captured, (Y/n), and that is no small risk on your part.”_ _

__“Is this truly our only option? She’s a civilian, she didn’t sign up for this,” Steve couldn’t help but object one last time._ _

__“If you had another idea would you really be here with her right now, Captain?” Fury asked. Steve gritted his teeth and looked away, frustrated by truth in what Fury said._ _

__“We’re not leaving until there’s a solid plan for how to get her back,” Steve said._ _

__“Captain, we still need to determine how (Y/n) will get the information we need once she’s inside. I sincerely doubt it’ll be written out in a nice neat file and she’s not necessarily been trained in the art of interrogation,” Fury scoffed. (Y/n) had to laugh at his statement._ _

__“You’ve obviously never tried to get information out of a heavily medicated patient, or from a child, or a psych patient. Believe me, I can get information.” Fury chuckled at her tenacity._ _

__“It wouldn’t hurt to have Romanoff work with you. The bigger the skill set we send you in with, the better shape you’ll be in. Contrary to what Steve seems to think,” he shot a look at the soldier, “I do not want your extraction to be a body recovery.”_ _

__“I told you I’m not agreeing to this until we have a solid extraction plan,” Steve brought the conversation back to task quickly. He refused to let the subject go on until he was thoroughly convinced that (Y/n) would not be another expendable casualty of SHIELD’s. This was his concern from the beginning; once (Y/n) was in that she’d have no way out. He knew what HYDRA was capable of, more so than most and he would be damned if he was going to let them have free reign on any civilian, let alone her._ _

__“First of all, Captain, you, Romanoff, Barton, Banner, and Stark are the best we have and you’ve done more with less. If we can get Thor down here, so much the better, hell, even his crazy brother might be of help. Secondly, I always have a plan and you need to trust me,” Fury’s tone was firm as addressed the team leader. “I’ll have a plan in place by the end of the week. For now,” he took out a camera and motioned for (Y/n) to stand, “It’s time you became an official member of SHIELD.”_ _

__Fury took (Y/n)’s shoulders and positioned her in front of a blank wall and took a picture of her before stowing the camera away._ _

__“Check out of the hotel and go to your place. I’ll have her in the system by this afternoon and I’ll meet you there. Then you return to New York tonight and wait for my call,” his instructions left no room for interpretation. “Get your travel plans in order, I don’t want her at more risk than needed until we’re ready,” Fury said as he headed towards the door. “It was a pleasure to meet you, (Y/n). We’ll speak again soon,” he said as he opened the door. He gave one nod to Steve and left._ _

__Steve threw the dead bolt and turned to look at (Y/n) who was standing in the middle of the room, arms wrapped around herself. He went to her and put his hand on her shoulder, looking down at her._ _

__“Are you alright? That was… a lot,” he asked. When she didn’t respond he gently lifted her chin so she was looking up at him. (Y/n)’s eyes were pained as emotion after emotion ran through her mind._ _

__“No, I’m not sure that I am,” (Y/n) admitted for the first time. “I will be though, you promised right?” she forced a smile though Steve continued to watch her with concern. Finally he nodded. (Y/n) stepped forward and put her head to his chest, resting her hand against his side. Surprised, Steve let his arms slide around her as he held her in a hug._ _

__“I promise,” he said with his lips pressed to her temple._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did you think? Not super exciting at the moment I know, but soon! Sooooon *rubs hands together menacingly*
> 
> What are your thoughts on the relationship between the reader and Steve? Too much? Not enough? Over the top? I'm still testing the waters trying to make this develop the most natural and seamless way possible. Feedback is greatly greatly appreciated!
> 
> Thank you for sticking with me and reading, it's so encouraging to read your comments, it keeps me going! You're all amazing! Much love <3


	16. Risk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it has taken me so long to update! My schedule should be a bit more stable for the summer now so I’m *hoping* I’ll be able to update more regularly. You guys are amazing and leaving such encouraging comments – it keeps me going! Thank you so much for all of your support! Enjoy the chapter :)

Steve unlocked the door to his apartment and held out his hand in invitation. (Y/n) stepped through the door carrying her bag followed by Steve. It was a humble apartment, modestly furnished. Steve had explained on their way over that he had moved mainly to New York but having a home in Washington D.C. was convenient, particularly after long missions. 

“We have some time,” Steve said clearing his throat as he took both his and (Y/n)’s suitcases out of the hallway. 

(Y/n) was already wandering aimlessly through his living room. He watched the way she moved, reaching up to brush her fingertips over the spines of the albums lining the shelves, the way her hair fell, the way her hips swayed as he walked. Steve brought his eyes back up just in time to meet (Y/n)’s as she turned where she stood. He felt his ears burn, thinking he was caught but (Y/n) seemed unaware as she frowned in confusion. Clearing his throat, Steve stepped over next to her, looking at the albums with her. 

“Which is your favorite?” (Y/n) asked, her eyes once again on the albums. 

She smiled to herself. _He would have all original albums_ (Y/n) turned her head to hide her smile. Steve’s arm brushed hers as he reached out, tapping the spine of one of the records. Wordlessly, (Y/n) slid the album from its place on the shelf and went to the record player. After a moment of fumbling she had the sleeve off and was holding the vinyl, staring at the record player.

“My father would be appalled right now,” (Y/n) laughed as she stared at the record player in confusion. She was fearful of scratching the grooves or breaking the record player. 

“Here,” Steve’s voice was next to her ear as he reached around, guiding her hands to place the record on the turn table, and then placed the needle on the groove. Soon the apartment was filled with the soft music of Frank Sinatra and (Y/n) began to sway slightly along with it. 

“Can’t argue with the classics,” (Y/n) said as she closed her eyes, listening to Sinatra’s smooth voice. She heard Steve laugh quietly behind her. 

“To me they’re not classics, doll,” he said quietly, urging her to turn towards him with his hand on her side. Suddenly, Steve looked unsure. He cleared his throat and looked down at his feet, the music transporting him back in time. “May I, I mean, would you—“ he stammered, clearing his throat once more. “Would you like to dance?” Steve finally asked. 

Steve was just about to berate himself mentally for asking such a stupid question when he saw (Y/n)’s cheeks turn pink. When she nodded with a smile, suddenly shy herself, he took a tentative step forward, sliding his right hand to just above (Y/n)’s waist. 

“I don’t know how—“ (Y/n) began to say but Steve took her right hand into his left and she naturally stepped forward and rested her left hand on his shoulder. Steve led her back and soon the two were moving slowly to the music, making their way about his living room.

“See,” Steve said quietly, “You’re a natural.” 

“You’re just making me look good,” (Y/n) smirked trying to hide her blush. Steve had to laugh.

“Usually that statement is the other way around, in my case in particular,” his voice stayed soft and his breath tickled (Y/n)’s ear. 

“Why don’t I believe that,” (Y/n) looked up at Steve finally, a smile playing at her lips.

“Well, have you seen pictures of me from when this music was popular?” he raised his eyebrows in amusement. (Y/n) tilted her head to the side with a grin.

“As a matter of fact, Mr. Rogers, I have,” (Y/n) said thinking back to the album Steve had showed her up in New York. 

“Then you know a lot has changed,” he frowned and looked down at his shoes between them though he and (Y/n) continued to sway along with the music. (Y/n) dipped her head so Steve had to look at her.

“Not as much as you think,” (Y/n) felt silly but the curious look on Steve’s face settled some of the nerves in her stomach. “Your eyes,” (Y/n) paused when she saw the ghost of a smile come to Steve, “your smile,” she giggled when his lips turned up, “Your heart.” 

They had stopped moving and (Y/n) slid her hand from his grasp to rest over his heart. She could feel it beating steadily beneath her hand. Steve’s eyes softened and he gently held (Y/n)’s chin with his first finger and thumb. His eyes roamed her face before settling on her lips as he tilted her chin up to catch her lips in a gentle kiss. 

Slowly, Steve pulled back just enough so he could see (Y/n)’s face. Her eyes were still closed, but her lips were slightly parted. He watched how her hair fell to the side of her face and brushed it back with his fingertips. At the feeling of his hand on her cheek, (Y/n) leaned into it before opening her eyes, meeting Steve’s gaze finally. 

Steve slid his hand from (Y/n)’s waist to the small of her back and pulled her closer to him, feeling suddenly bold as his lips met hers once more. His kiss was more urgent and when he felt (Y/n) slide her hands up and around his shoulders, he wrapped his other arm around her, holding her tightly against him. (Y/n) leaned forward, kissing Steve just as passionately, spurring Steve on as he let his hands wander up and down her sides and her back. He ran his tongue over (Y/n)’s bottom lip and when she let out the slightest moan at the contact he slipped his tongue into her mouth. 

Step by step, Steve walked (Y/n) backwards until the back of her knees hit the couch. (Y/n) smiled briefly against Steve’s lips at his sudden boldness. Before she could sit, Steve turned them and sat, pulling (Y/n) into his lap, a knee on either side of his hips. When they settled on the couch, (Y/n) pulled her lips back from Steve to catch her breath. He put his hand on the back of her head, resting his forehead against hers, breathing deeply. 

(Y/n) rested her hands on Steve’s shoulders when she felt his lips against her ear and then against her neck. She gasped at the feeling of his hot lips and Steve smiled against her neck. Part of her mind wanted to ask where this sudden confidence came from but (Y/n) could only concentrate on the feeling of Steve’s mouth. Each time Steve found a spot on (Y/n)’s neck and shoulders that made her gasp he would smirk against her skin. His hands wrapped around and lightly squeezed her waist as (Y/n) ran her fingers up into Steve’s hair. 

This wasn’t fair, (Y/n) decided and used her hand to bring his face back to hers, kissing him with a new intensity. Steve held her tightly and (Y/n) slipped her hands from his shoulders to his chest. He murmured (Y/n)’s name against her lips and she felt the rumble in his chest against her palms. Tentatively, (Y/n) rolled her hips down against Steve’s lap. She felt him freeze, his lips barely touching hers. (Y/n) heard the sharp hiss of air as he breathed in and it was her turn to smirk. Again, with a bit more courage, (Y/n) rolled her hips down and Steve’s hands slid past her waist to her behind. A third time she rolled her hips and Steve squeezed his hands and pressed up into her now, his head buried against her neck in her hair. 

“God…(Y/n), that…” Steve’s voice was ragged. 

Suddenly (Y/n) found herself on her back on the couch, Steve’s lips on her neck once more. (Y/n) pressed her chest up against Steve’s, her hips following. The noise that came from Steve nearly made (Y/n) forget her own name. Steve pressed his hips forward and it was (Y/n)’s turn to gasp.

“Do you see what you’re doing to me?” Steve whispered in (Y/n)’s ear before kissing it. 

He pulled back so he could look down at (Y/n) again, his sudden burst of enthusiasm wavering as he searched (Y/n)’s face for approval. (Y/n)’s chest heaved as she worked to catch her breath. Instead of answering she wrapped one leg around Steve’s waist and pressed up again. Steve’s eyes slid shut as he rolled back against (Y/n). (Y/n)’s breath caught at the look in Steve’s eyes when they opened again. As Steve leaned forward to kiss along her jaw, (Y/n)’s head fell back. A blur of motion caught her eye and she leaned to the side to see what she’d missed. Steve leaned back, confused by the sudden change in (Y/n)’s demeanor. 

The only warning Steve had was the fraction of a second where (Y/n)’s eyes went wide. A rope came around his neck from behind and he was yanked off of the couch. Both of Steve’s hands went to the rope being pulled tightly around his neck, pulling against it so he could gulp down a breath of air. Two men were behind him holding onto the thick rope and a third was quickly approaching with another length of rope. 

“Quickly,” one of the men behind Steve said as he struggled to maintain his grip. 

Steve looked to (Y/n) and saw one man dragging her by her wrist off the couch, backhanding her once when she kicked him in the shin. That was all the provocation Steve needed and before the men behind him could prepare, he managed to flip one of them forward over his shoulder. 

(Y/n) drove her elbow into her assailant’s sternum, holding her fist with her opposite hand for extra force. She heard a grunt and the grip on her arm relaxed enough for her to lunge forward. She kicked at Steve’s shield, managing to scoot it that much closer to him before the man dove on top of her. (Y/n) cocked her leg back and as the man’s weight fell on top of her, she kicked up. He gasped for air that wouldn’t come and (Y/n) jumped to her feet, slightly dazed. 

(Y/n) saw Steve grab his shield and the three men who were already having trouble containing Steve began to falter. Steve saw the man push himself to his feet and before he could shout to (Y/n) to run, he was on her once again. 

The man wound his hand into her hair. Having complete control over (Y/n)’s head, he ripped her backwards as he wrapped her neck in the crook of his elbow. The pressure began to make (Y/n)’s vision gray, her peripheral vision fading. She desperately grasped at the man behind her, unable to call out or do anything besides panic. The small amount of training Natasha had managed to give her swirled around in her head, the panic blocking it from any cohesion. 

“(Y/n)!” Steve shouted as the man backed him and (Y/n) out of the door to the apartment. He only managed to get a few steps before the two men left standing demanded his attention again, one holding a gun to his head.

In one moment of desperation, (Y/n) lifted her leg and slammed it down on his foot as hard as she could. It didn’t do much damage, but he stumbled as their legs locked together. (Y/n) let her body go slack and as the man finally lost his balance, she landed on top of him, her back to his chest. The gun he held went flying down the steps of the stairwell and (Y/n) dove after it. Her assailant grabbed her ankle and the two tumbled down the steps, landing with a grunt. (Y/n)’s hand reached the gun just as the man was on his feet again, diving for (Y/n). She rolled over onto her back and without hesitation, she fired.

The man stumbled, his hand going to his neck. (Y/n) had barely managed to hit him even at the point blank range. Hot blood began to pump out of his neck as he fell to his knees in front of (Y/n), blood soaking her face and front. The seconds it took for the man to fall forward on his face felt like hours. (Y/n) laid frozen, hands still holding the gun in front of her at the man who was now completely still. 

Steve sprinted out of his apartment when he heard the gunshot. The door to the stairwell burst open and he looked up and down the landing until he saw (Y/n), several flights down, covered in blood. Taking the steps two and three at a time he ran down to where she lay. Steve’s eyes took in (Y/n) and then the dead man that was still half on top of her. 

“(Y/n),” Steve said quietly, crouching down next to her. (Y/n) flinched and Steve found the gun pointed at him. He held his hands palms out to her. “It’s just me, (Y/n),” he whispered and slowly reached out, palm up. “It’s over, you can put the gun down,” Steve tried to keep his voice soothing though adrenaline continued to pump through his system. 

Hands shaking, (Y/n) slowly lowered the gun into Steve’s outstretched hand. In one swift motion, Steve dismantled it and then pulled (Y/n) forward into his arms, holding her head to his chest. When he first saw her laying there covered in blood, he assumed the worst. He put a hand to either side of her head and leaned back to look at her, to reassure himself that she was in fact alive. (Y/n) looked up at him, tears just beginning to well up in her eyes and Steve pulled her to him once more, tucking (Y/n)’s head into his neck. As she finally threw her arms around him, Steve stood, picking (Y/n) up with him. He walked the two back to his apartment where the other three assailants lay dead, their weapons removed.

“SHIELD will be here soon,” Steve said to (Y/n). She shook her head.

“No…we don’t know…” she stammered but Steve gently shushed her. 

“These agents we do,” Steve reassured her. (Y/n) tried to protest, tried to remind Steve of the entire reason they were here. “These are personal friends,” he said letting her stand on her own, but keeping his hand on her back. 

All the lights in the apartment were on by the time there was a knock on the door. Steve picked up his shield and kept (Y/n) behind him as he went to check the peephole. He sighed in relief as he opened the door finding Director Fury and Agent Hill standing there with weapons drawn. 

“How many?” Fury asked stepping into the apartment followed by Hill.

“Four,”

“Status?” 

“All deceased,” Steve said gritting his teeth. “It wasn’t an assassination attempt. They tried to take her, alive,” he added as Hill returned from thoroughly checking the rest of the apartment.

“All clear,” she said quietly to Fury who gave one nod. 

Hill handed a brown envelope to Steve who quickly looked inside. He gave a brief nod to Agent Hill in thanks as he folded the envelope in half, slipping it into his pocket with one hand, pulling (Y/n) close to his side with the other. Hill watched the two thoughtfully but remained silent. 

“Clean up, a car will be here in 5 minutes,” Fury gestured to (Y/n) still covered in blood. “You’ll both take a quinjet back to the tower tonight,” he said stepping back. 

Steve ushered (Y/n) into his room where she unceremoniously took her shirt off and threw it in the trash. Steve stepped into the bathroom and returned with a wet hand towel. (Y/n) didn’t move to accept it, only stared down at her arms covered in blood. 

“You’re okay, (Y/n),” he said quietly, taking one of her arms. He hastily wiped a majority of the blood from her face, neck and arms before handing her a shirt. (Y/n) wrapped the long button down shirt around her, her finger’s fumbling with the buttons until Steve stilled her hands. One by one, Steve buttoned each button and then looked down at (Y/n)’s face. “We’ll be back at the tower, safe, soon,” he gripped (Y/n)’s shoulders and she finally looked up at him. 

“Okay,” she said with a nod. Before Steve could respond, the door opened and Fury was standing there. 

“Get a move on you two,” he warned and Steve took (Y/n) by the hand and led them out of his apartment to the waiting car. 

The two sat in the back seat, hand’s linked and resting between them. Not two hours later, the quinjet landed at Avengers Tower and Steve once again led (Y/n) to the elevator. As the doors opened to the floor where both Steve’s and (Y/n)’s rooms were, Tony was standing there, a grin on his face when he saw (Y/n)’s disheveled hair and her wearing one of Steve’s shirts.

“Really? On the jet? I’m Impress—“ he started but then noticed the faint remnants of dried blood on (Y/n)’s neck. Before Tony could open his mouth Steve interrupted him.

“Not now, Tony,” Steve was firm but his voice lacked the annoyance at Stark’s usual antics. 

“Is she, that is, are _you_ ,” Tony turned to speak to (Y/n) directly, “Okay?” (Y/n) was shocked out of her stupor by Tony’s genuine concern. “Bruce is here,” Tony added with a questioning glance at Steve.

“Thanks,” he said and (Y/n) added her thank you in the form of a small smile. “I’ll let JARVIS know if we need him,” Tony pursed his lips, the frustration of not being told what had happened evident. To his credit, he didn’t push and let Steve and (Y/n) pass. Steve kept his arm protectively around (Y/n) until they reached his door. 

“Do you want to stay with me tonight?” he asked hesitantly. Steve was surprised to see (Y/n)’s mouth twitch in a mirthless smile.

“You really need to ask?” (Y/n) said as she slowly brought her eyes to Steve. Once inside, Steve locked the door and checked each room extensively, keeping (Y/n) with him the entire time. “I thought you said this place was safe?” she asked, trying to add a hint of sarcasm.

“Well, being safe and being smart are two different things,” he said once he had convinced himself the apartments were secure. “Food?” he offered but (Y/n) shook her head.

“Shower, and sleep,” (Y/n) said. 

Steve agreed and gathered towels for her. They had left all of their things back at Steve’s apartment in DC, having to drop everything when the car had arrived. 

“Do you want me to go down the hall and get something for you to change into?” he offered but (Y/n) reached out to grasp his hand.

“Please don’t leave,” she said quietly. Steve nodded and ushered her into the bathroom, turning the water on for her. 

“I’ll be right outside,” Steve pushed (Y/n)’s hair out of her face before stepping away, half closing the door behind him. 

(Y/n) stripped her filthy clothes off and stepped into the shower. Eyes closed, she let the water run over her. For the longest time it flowed red down the drain. (Y/n) washed herself over and over again until she was sure that every last trace of the man’s blood was gone. She choked back a sob as the image of him in front of her flashed in her mind. _I killed a man_ (Y/n) put the back of her fingers against her lips. _Who was trying to hurt you, to take you, to HYDRA_ her mind argued. With a shuddering breath she turned off the water and dried off. 

Steve had left a large tee shirt folded on the sink for her and as she slipped it over her head, she breathed the smell of the clean shirt in deeply. Underneath the shirt was a pair of her underwear which she slipped on. When she stepped out of the bathroom she saw Steve standing in the bedroom, his hair wet as he pulled a tee shirt down over his head. Without a word, (Y/n) went to the bed and sat. Steve took a seat beside (Y/n) who leaned to the side so she could put her head on his shoulder. 

“Want to talk about it?” he asked.

“I killed someone,” she stared in front of her. 

“You protected yourself,” Steve said firmly and she looked up at him. “There’s a reason self-defense exists. It was you or him,” he didn’t elaborate on what they both knew the consequences of her failing to get away would be. “When I saw you,” he spoke again when (Y/n) remained silent. “I thought—“ 

Steve trailed off and (Y/n) turned to him. It was her turn to comfort him for once. She reached her hands up and pulled his head to hers, sliding her fingertips into his hair while her thumb brushed along his cheek. In one swift motion, Steve pulled (Y/n) into his lap and turned to sit back against the headboard. 

Running his hands up and down (Y/n)’s upper arms, Steve reassured himself that she was there, whole, and unharmed. Passion of a different sort flashed in his eyes as he pulled (Y/n) tightly into his arms. With a sigh, (Y/n) relaxed, her head against Steve’s shoulder, her forehead pressed into his neck. When Steve’s hands started to run up and down her back absently, (Y/n) let out a sigh of relief. 

_It’s over, it’s all over for today, you’re here, Steve’s here, and you’re both safe_ she repeated over and over to herself. After she felt Steve relax, (Y/n) thought back to earlier that evening.

“Steve?” she asked and he grunted, hands never stopping their trail up and down her back. “Why did you have a pair of my underwear here?” (Y/n) bit her lip trying to keep from laughing. The smirk she couldn’t help, especially when Steve’s hands froze on her back and he cleared his throat.

“I found them here...after you moved down the hall,” he adamantly refused to make eye contact.

“Any particular reason you decided to keep them?” (Y/n) raised her eyebrows and Steve’s cheeks flushed bright red.

“It was after everything happened, and I didn’t see you for a few weeks,” Steve was grasping to explain himself. “And what would I have said when I did give them to you? ‘Here, you left these?’” Steve cast (Y/n) a pleading look. 

“So you thought a better idea would be to keep them in secret?” (Y/n) laughed and Steve insisted over and over that it wasn’t funny but he couldn’t help but laugh with her. Finally (Y/n) yawned and Steve pulled the covers up over both of them after turning out the light. 

“Turns out it was a good thing I kept them, don’t you think?” Steve asked with a smirk as (Y/n) tucked herself into his side. (Y/n) decided to call his bluff.

“Only if that’s because you don’t like the idea of me sleeping in just this tee-shirt…” she mused. Steve cleared his throat and (Y/n) looked up at him. “Sleep, Steve,” (Y/n) said and closed her eyes. 

\--

Much later that night, (Y/n) awoke to find Steve curled protectively around her back, holding her tightly to his chest. She couldn’t figure out what had caused her to wake up and was about to turn over and see if Steve was alright but froze when she heard him murmuring against her hair.

“ _Thank God you’re alright,_ ” followed by the lightest touch of his lips as he kissed her hair. (Y/n) put her hand on Steve’s and he linked his fingers with her as they both fell back asleep once more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo what did you think? This is my first attempt at writing anything steamy so, feedback? Please? Preferably gentle? Hopefully you didn't get a cavity from all of the fluff but boy was it fun to write! I really really hope you guys enjoyed the chapter! Thanks so much for sticking with me through the delays in updating and figuring out my writing style -- your feedback has been invaluable! Until next time, Much love <3


	17. New Life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's right my lovelies! I've updated! I hope this chapter doesn't disappoint! Much love <3

Steve’s eyes squinted in annoyance as the early morning light crept over his face. Wiping a hand over his face and through his hair, he glanced down to see (Y/n) pressed up against his side, his arm trapped beneath her as she slept. A small smile found its way to his lips and he extricated himself from her, placing a gentle kiss to her forehead. She shifted, grumbling in her sleep, murmuring something about it being too early. Steve placed a note on the bedside table, glancing back once more before he shut the door to let (Y/n) sleep. 

An hour later, (Y/n) began to stir, missing the warmth at her back. 

“Steve?” her sleep laden voice cracked. She pushed herself up on her elbow and picked up the note. _Went for a run and a work out, hope to be back before you wake up. –Steve_. (Y/n) smiled and forced herself out of bed, leaving the note on her pillow as she moved about the room. 

(Y/n) wondered absently when Steve had left the note as her stomach began to grumble. _Wash up, then make breakfast…_ (Y/n) thought to herself as she walked over to the sink and vanity. Grabbing a fresh toothbrush from under the sink, (Y/n) then made quick work of brushing her teeth. She grimaced as she picked up the utilitarian soap from Steve’s sink but turned on the water and lathered it in her hands as she washed her face. (Y/n) leaned towards the mirror, rising on her toes to see as she scrubbed carefully.

Steve crept carefully to the door, hoping that (Y/n) would still be asleep. He wondered if he would be able to grab a shower quickly and quietly enough to not disturb (Y/n); the idea of being able to slip back under the covers after a shower was too appealing. Hand still on the doorknob, Steve froze as his eyes settled on (Y/n), on her tip toes, leaning over in front of the mirror to the side of the room. Her shirt, rather his shirt, rode up as she bent over further, cupping water in her hands and splashing her face. When he saw the lace of her panties his ears began to turn bright red. _Wow,_ he thought, swallowing against the dryness in his throat. He didn’t hear the footsteps until they were right behind him.

“Hey Spangles, Fury sent this over—“ Tony was looking down at the tablet in his hands, scrolling through a message while he carried a package under his arm. He barely had time to register the shock on Steve’s face when his eyes fell on (Y/n). Eyebrows up, his mouth formed a silent “oh.” Steve turned and put a hand over Tony’s mouth pushing him back into the living room, glancing behind him, relieved that (Y/n) didn’t appear to have heard or seen either of them.

“Don’t,” Steve hissed as the smirk on Tony’s face grew. 

“Don’t what? Comment on the beautiful ass—“ Steve glared and Tony put his hands up in surrender, “or on the fact that you got caught looking at said—“ Tony took a step back when Steve clenched his hands into fists. Tony shamelessly looked over Steve’s shoulder trying to get a second glimpse and Steve immediately shifted to block his view. “What you’re allowed to gawk and I’m not allowed a little peek?” Tony kept pushing Steve’s buttons, completely entertained by the soldier’s reactions. 

“What do you want Stark?” Steve folded his arms. 

“That is a loaded question right now, my friend,” Tony raised an eyebrow but rolled his eyes when Steve bristled. “Fury sent this,” he handed over the package risking a quick lean to the side while Steve examined it. The door had been pulled almost closed. 

“Anything else?” Steve let his arm back down to his side holding the package and stared at the man in front of him. Tony pursed his lips thoughtfully and took a step back towards the door.

“Nope…nothing else to see or comment on…” he sauntered through the door, closing it behind him. 

Steve pinched the bridge of his nose. _This can only end badly,_ he thought before pulling out a small flashlight from a drawer. Shining it over where the brown packaging was sealed, a SHIELD emblem showed up. As he changed the frequencies, different images appeared. After the final one, Steve was satisfied and ripped the paper open to find a manila envelope inside with more information for him and eventually for (Y/n). 

He was deeply engrossed in his reading when (Y/n) stepped out of the room, still wearing his tee shirt. She had apparently scrounged about in his room and found a pair of his boxers to wear as shorts for the time being.

“What’s that?” she asked, her hand on his upper arm made him flinch. 

“Not many people can sneak up on me, (Y/n),” he gave her a small smile which she returned. 

“Just Stark…” she raised an eyebrow and Steve turned red. 

“So you heard all that, huh?” he rubbed the back of his neck as he set down the papers on the table beside him 

“Just something about not having anything to comment on,” (Y/n) shook her head. That phrase coming out of Tony’s mouth couldn’t mean anything good, that man had a comment for everything.

She wasn’t sure exactly what happened but it was obvious that Stark had once again managed to get the better of Steve’s nerves. (Y/n) watched thoughtfully as Steve’s ears began to turn pink, frowning. She was about to ask what Stark could’ve possibly done this time when Steve opened his mouth, desperate to change the topic.

“Have you eaten yet?” he asked and (Y/n) shook her head. 

“I was hoping to get started on some breakfast before you got back,” she said, tugging self-consciously at the hem of her borrowed shirt. 

“Well, maybe while I shower you could start?” he offered, “Not that I expect you to make food! You could go back to your apartments…you probably want to be in your own clothes, not that I mind you in my clothes well, not _in_ my,” Steve stammered and (Y/n) folded her arms, amused at his train of thought. Steve stopped and gave her a pleading look and she closed her eyes and shook her head. 

“Talking to women still isn’t your forte, is it, Rogers?” (Y/n) gave him a warm smile. Steve just pressed his lips together and shook his head.

“No, that was never one of my God-Given talents,” he chuckled and looked down at the ground. Steve didn’t notice until he felt (Y/n)’s hand on his that she’d stepped closer to him. 

“Maybe not, but it’s—“ she paused looking for the right word as Steve looked down at her. “It’s very you,” (Y/n) hoped Steve would understand it as the compliment she meant it to be. 

Steve stepped forward into (Y/n), emboldened by the touch of her hand. As he began to tilt her chin up, JARVIS spoke up.

“Please forgive the interruption, Mr. Rogers and Miss. (Y/L/N), but I have a recorded message from Miss. Romanoff,” Jarvis said politely. (Y/n) let her forward sink against Steve’s shoulder as her shoulders shook gently with her quiet laugh. Steve just sighed.

“Go ahead, Jarvis. We’re listening.” Immediately, Natasha’s message played over the speaker in the apartment. 

“I know you’re back, (Y/n), and you can’t hide in there forever!” Natasha’s voice came through clearly.

“Jeez, we just got back last night,” (Y/n) whispered even though the message was pre-recorded. Steve shook his head with an indulgent smile.

“I’ll see you in the gym in 20 minutes, (Y/L/N)!” the message ended with a click. Steve and (Y/n) stared in open shock. 

“I don’t know what I’m more scared of, meeting another group of HYDRA agents or Natasha if I’m there in _21_ minutes…” (Y/n) said as she stared off at nothing. Steve laughed and leaned down, kissing (Y/n)’s cheek.

“Go, I have to get through this,” he gestured vaguely with the manila folder he held. “I’ll stop by if I can,” Steve’s lips lingered near (Y/n)’s ear, and he was tempted to close that small distance to kiss her skin once more. 

(Y/n) had let her hand rest on Steve’s arm, grasping it as he kissed her cheek. 

“Stop by and rescue me from Natasha’ clutches?” (Y/n) smirked and Steve shook his head. 

“Always,” he said stepping backwards into his room, his eyes twinkling. 

(Y/n) gave a mock salute and turned on her heels, grabbing a protein bar from the basket on the kitchen counter on her way out. Steve watched her as she walked away, his mind drifting back to the sight of her earlier. He stared off into space, his mind wandering so that he flinched as his phone rang. 

“Hello? Yes, sir, I have it in front of me. No I haven’t gone through it yet, only verified—“ Steve said as he closed the door and sat on his bed, preparing to go through the intel with Fury.

\--

(Y/n) used her back to open the gym doors, holding a water bottle in one hand, her half eaten protein bar in the other. She moved over to where Natasha was stretching, throwing her things on the bench nearby and joining the assassin. 

“I hear you have some stories to tell,” Natasha said watching (Y/n) out of the corner of her eye. 

(Y/n) froze mid stretch, eyes fixed on her toes. Storei _s_? She bent further at the waist, continuing the stretch with very purposeful movements. Natasha’s smirk and pursed lips made (Y/n)’s stomach twist. _Trying to keep secrets from a spy, (Y/n), smart, very smart,_ (Y/n) thought to herself. _Is she talking about Steve? The attack? She knows I went there to formally join SHIELD…_ (Y/n)’s thoughts ran away from her when she heard her name called.

“Whatcha thinking about, (Y/n)?” the innocent look plastered over Natasha’s face was unsettling. (Y/n) pushed her hair behind her ear as she shifted to stretch her other leg.

“Well,” she started thinking through the brief trip to DC, “Steve and I had a run in with HYDRA,” (Y/n) said slowly, testing to see how much Natasha knew already.

“So I heard,” Natasha said thoughtfully. A vent slamming open made (Y/n) jump as Clint landed smoothly beside them holding a rope. 

“Doors are a thing, you know,” (Y/n) grumbled as she stood and followed Natasha to the weights. Natasha and Clint shared an amused look.

It wasn’t long before (Y/n) was sweating and Natasha was shouting a mix of encouraging and antagonizing comments. Clint simply stood by, arms folded, grinning. 

“You want the next HYDRA group to finish their task next time, (Y/n)?” Natasha stood, nonplussed as (Y/n) grunted with the effort of punching the dummy in front of her. 

Her knuckles were starting to get raw even under the protective taping but she punched harder at the memory of the man dragging her away from Steve. By this time, Clint had joined in with Natasha. 

“You’ll never escape with that form,” he said walking up behind (Y/n). He leaned forward until his lips were next to her ear. “It’s only blind, dumb luck that you aren’t in their hands right now, (Y/n),” Clint smirked. In one quick movement, (Y/n) turned, hooked her leg behind Clint’s and punched him in the nose. He stumbled backwards, landing flat on his back.

“God _damnit_ (Y/n)!” he shouted, pinching the bridge of his nose. Once she was sure Clint wasn’t hurt too badly, her attention shifted back to (Y/n), pleased.

“Good! Now why didn’t you use that when they had you in DC?” she asked, one eyebrow raised.

“You taught her that?” Clint glared up at Natasha who shrugged. “Well that’s great…just great,” he griped, pushing himself to his feet. The blood dripping from his nose had slowed, but there was still quite a bit on his lip and shirt. “Are you planning on teaching her everything you know? Because I don’t think I can handle two of you,” he swore again as he straightened the cartilage in his nose. (Y/n) winced, she hadn’t realized how hard she hit Clint. 

“In (Y/n)’s defense, you did deserve that Clint,” Natasha threw a towel at him. He only glared in response. 

“If you plan to teach her the rest of your widow-y ways, I’m going on a hunger strike,” Clint huffed and started to walk away to clean himself up.

“You know that would include coffee, right?” (Y/n) called to his back. 

“ _FUCK!_ ” Clint’s head dropped back as he swore and as he continued on his way towards the door Natasha and (Y/n) heard muffled grumbling. “…can’t believe this…broke my fucking nose…better not teach her any other tricks to use on me…not that secret getting shit.” Clint continued to mutter and curse. What (Y/n) didn’t see as she searched for her water bottle was the look of pride Clint and Natasha shared before he disappeared out the door.

“Alright, (Y/n), it’s time to break down what happened at Steve’s apartment,” Natasha finally dispensed with the information getting games. “How did they get to you?” 

(Y/n) folded her arms and chewed her lip as she thought back through the attack. She had carefully avoided thinking about the attack. Now that she was forced to put words to just how she and Steve had been caught unawares, her cheeks burned; something that did not go unnoticed by the spy.

“Go on,” she prodded, waiting expectantly. 

(Y/n) took a deep breath. _Is there any way to tell this and keep private things private?_ she thought. 

“We were laying on the couch,” (Y/n) started off. The memory still made her sick to her stomach. “They got a rope around Steve’s neck and pulled him off the couch first. Then they grabbed my wrist—“ she walked Natasha through the entirety of the attack from her point of view. “…and that’s when I shot him,” she finished, clearing her throat and looking at the ground. 

Natasha stared at her apprentice for a long minute. 

“You shot him?” Natasha’s red curls bounced as she leaned forward, arms still folded. 

(Y/n) stood there, one arm wrapped around herself against the memories and the discomfort of this mild interrogation. 

“I didn’t have much choice, Natasha,” (Y/n) sighed and closed her eyes. “It was point blank and I almost missed him. Steve said later I managed to hit his carotid. He was so close how could I almost miss!?” 

Fear and anger had welled up in (Y/n) as she stumbled over her words. Natasha held her hands up against (Y/n)’s stream of consciousness, finally grasping (Y/n) by her shoulders to get her to stop talking. When (Y/n) finally complied, Natasha stood back up, arms folded once more.

“Nicely done, (Y/n).” Natasha didn’t hide the pride on her face. “Isn’t that right, Steve?” She called out over (Y/n)’s shoulder. (Y/n) spun to see Steve standing in the doorway not far away. He raised an eyebrow and gave a slight nod before joining the two women. “She’s got it in her after all,” she said to Steve as he took his place next to (Y/n). 

“That she does,” he said looking down at (Y/n) who blushed. (Y/n) wasn’t sure she could be proud of killing someone, but of surviving, yes, she could be proud of surviving. Natasha watched as Steve put a hand on (Y/n)’s back.

“However, it seems you might need some one-on-one training with Clint to work on that accuracy…” Natasha said thoughtfully.

“I’m not sure he’ll be too thrilled with that idea right now. Can we at least wait until his nose heals?” (Y/n) winced at the idea of working with a grumpy Clint.

“What happened to Clint’s nose?” Steve asked suddenly interested.

“She broke it,” Natasha said casually. After a pause while her comment registered, Steve grinned and then laughed. 

“I wish I could’ve seen that,” he mused looking down at (Y/n). “You’re full of surprises, (Y/n),” he added quietly. 

“Pull it up on the security footage, I’m sure Tony will have it. She laid him out on his back too,” Natasha said, picking up her bag. Steve’s eyes shone with delight, never leaving (Y/n). “You know, you never did say what you were doing when you were attacked, (Y/n),” Natasha added offhandedly.

“No, I didn’t,” (Y/n) said with a grin, backing towards the door with Steve who began to blush furiously.

\--

“Sir, we’ve finally found her in the system,” the man tapped furiously at the keyboard in front of him. “It appears she’s been in deep cover for…4 years. That’s why we’ve had no record of her. She’s been on assignment,” the man looked up at his superior expectantly. Instead the tall man behind him scowled.

“Deep cover where? Why are we just learning about her now?” he frowned, staring at the screen with precious little information on it. 

“It doesn’t say. Nothing about what her mission was, whether it was completed or not, no aliases past or present,” the tech said quickly, trying to placate the irritated superior. 

“Run more decryptions, I want to know everything she’s done since she joined SHIELD,” the tall man pushed back the dark hair from his forehead as he leaned down to look into the computer screen. “She’s got to be something important for them to have hidden her this well,” he glanced behind him to a man in tactical gear standing at ease. “Get another team ready. We’ll try once wemore before we bring him in to finish the job.”

The man in tactical gear saluted and turned to go carry out his orders. A smaller gentleman cleared his throat.

“Is that wise, sir? He’s becoming more… difficult,” he winced as the words left his mouth.

“We can’t risk any more failures on her,” the commander replied, stepping away from the bank of computers and making his way down a long hall.

“And what of the Captain?” the small man tripped over his feet trying to keep up with the commander. 

“If he managed to bring both of them in together, so much the better…” the commander’s voice remained steady. He refused to let this little woman escape his grasp. She made him look like a fool to his superiors. She would pay dearly for that. He only hoped she would turn out to be as big of a catch as HYDRA predicted.

“And the others, sir?”

“In time. I want another information leak. I want to see how the archer responds if he’s called out alone,” he said continuing to look straight ahead. The small man mumbled a _yes sir_ and fell back to carry out his orders.

\--

Steve walked (Y/n) back to his section of the tower. He was extremely aware of how close he walked next to (Y/n), of whether or not their hands brushed against one another, of each quick stolen glance. It was so much easier to be with her when he didn’t worry about what others saw. He worried for her – if HYDRA hacked in and saw security footage of him holding her hand, or kissing her. (Y/n)’s position was already precarious and with her playing bait, Steve couldn’t make her any more vulnerable than she already was. 

(Y/n) glanced up at Steve one last time as he unlocked the door, holding it open for her to enter ahead of him. The silence from their walk was finally broken when Steve chuckled behind her. She turned to see him leaning against the closed door.

“I can’t believe you broke Barton’s nose,” he grinned down at (Y/n). A smile found its way back to her face finally and she gave a shy shrug. 

“Natasha said he deserved it,” (Y/n) offered and Steve stepped forward.

“Oh I don’t doubt it,” he reached out and took her hand. “You’re filled with surprises, (Y/n),” Steve looked down at her small hand in his. Steve brought her hand to his lips and kissed the back of her knuckles gently. 

“You lied before,” (Y/n) smirked when Steve’s eyes met hers, filled with alarm. “You do know how to talk to women.”

“Just you, doll,” Steve laughed and pulled her close, still holding her hand as he began to lead them in an impromptu dance around the living room. Soon the two were laughing as Steve moved faster and faster, (Y/n) trying desperately to keep up. The dance lost any bit of grace as Steve took exaggerated, silly steps until (Y/n) couldn’t maintain her footing and fell against his chest.

“Is there any particular reason you need me here? Because I could desperately use a shower,” (Y/n) said pushing herself away from Steve still giggling. “Natasha’s workouts are…”

“No joke?” Steve offered and (Y/n) nodded. “I wanted to show you this,” he said leading her over to the table covered in papers. “This is your life, (Y/n),” he gestured over the vast array of documents. Steve watched as (Y/n) leafed through the papers, brow drawn down in concentration. “I’ll help you learn it. So will Natasha.” He offered and (Y/n) looked up from the paper she was currently holding.

“So this is what the Director—“ her voice trailed off.

“Fury,” Steve offered.

“Yes. So this is what he did?” she asked. Steve confirmed with a nod.

“This is your ‘history’ within SHIELD. You’re a deep cover operative who has spent the past 4 years on missions. You were called back when the attacks started happening,” Steve explained.

“And what about all the public records of my nursing license and career?” (Y/n) asked picking up another page.

“Well,” Steve chuckled, “apparently Fury has used that to his advantage. You were a travel nurse, you’ve spent time all across the country and there’s public record of that. All he’s done is create dummy mission reports from all the places you’ve been. It’s been encrypted and will have only shown up on the servers now that you’ve ‘been called back’ from duty.”

Steve looked impressed by the amount of work done so far and (Y/n) had to admit, she was too. Four years. She had to memorize four years of made up history in the event that she was caught. _Well, that is the end game plan, isn’t it?_ she reminded herself. Her life depended on whatever Natasha, Steve, and Clint could teach her along with her ability to memorize all of this. 

“Guess I have some studying to do,” (Y/n) said quietly, eyes skimming the page she held. Steve put his hand on her arm. 

“One day at a time. I’ll help you get through this,” he encouraged. (Y/n) smiled and gave him a small nod.

“And we can start _after_ I get a shower and changed into something comfortable. And you order pizza,” she called over her shoulder as she walked out the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did you think? Was anything confusing? What do you want to see more of? Your comments keep me writing and keep me dreaming up new ideas for this story! I love all of you and I try as much as possible to respond to each comment <3 you're the best!


	18. Studies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Mild Smut (yes, Finally, I know, ha!)

Several hours later, (Y/n) was sitting cross legged over a box of half-eaten pizza on the couch facing Steve who was busy quizzing her on the details of her so called ‘life.’ 

“Who was your target in Alexandria, VA?” Steve asked around a mouthful of pizza, staring down at the paper in his hand. 

“Two and a half years ago, Curtis Foster, taken out with a long range sniper rifle,” (Y/n) picked up her half eaten slice of pizza looking smug. The two had nearly polished off their second of the night though a majority of the credit went to Steve.

“Bullet specs?” Steve raised an eyebrow and (Y/n) winced as she tried to remember the detail. 

“.54—“ she started when Steve shook his head.

“That’s not even ammunition for a rifle,” he said holding out a hand in mock indignation as (Y/n) burst out laughing at the look on his face.

“Alright Mr. Smarty pants, name the mechanism of action for Coumadin and the antidote in case of an overdose,” (Y/n) sat back with a smirk of her own and folded her arms. Steve raised an eyebrow meeting (Y/n)’s attitude.

“That tidbit of knowledge isn’t essential for keeping me alive at the hands of a large organized group of people hell bent on taking over the world,” Steve countered, picking up another piece of pizza and taking a big bite.

“Fine then. What about my love life, hm?” the corner of (Y/n)’s mouth twitched into a smirk as soon as Steve began coughing, nearly choking on his pizza.

“Pardon?” Steve asked, grabbing for a napkin so he’d have something other than (Y/n) to focus on. 

“Come on, Steve! No boyfriend? Flings? Am I really that boring of a person?” she laughed and Steve watched her carefully. (Y/n) was grinning as she pushed Steve, watching him turn red. “So SHIELD agents are married to their work? No room for romance?” she tilted her head to the side and Steve coughed again.

“Honestly? For the most part you aren’t too far from the mark,” Steve took a deep breath.

“Is that so, Captain?” 

(Y/n) had Steve’s attention now as he froze, playing over what she just said in his head once again.

“What was that?” he asked nervously, shifting in his seat.

“I said ‘is that so, Captain?’ I assume that’s what I would call you? You being my superior and an avenger while I’m a lowly operative?” (Y/n) enjoyed the sight of Steve grasping for words at the late hour having flustered him by pointing out his status within SHIELD. _You’d think he’d be used to this by now,_ she thought to herself.

“I’m your superior now?” Steve was suddenly still and watched (Y/n) closely with a raised eyebrow. 

(Y/n) frowned as she thought about his question. Surely he must be her superior within the organization. He lead the Avengers and she was a deep cover operative. While her fake position was certainly well established within SHIELD, she didn’t think there many positions that would out rank Steve. 

“Well,” (Y/n) hesitated as she picked up another stack of papers and began to rifle through it. “I don’t know, that’s got to be in here somewhere. How we’re connected? We’re assuming that’s what HYDRA is so desperate to know right? Why I’m with you and with SHIELD?” she said as her eyes scanned the pages in front of her. 

Steve reached over and put his hand on the file (Y/n) was holding, carefully lowering it until she looked up at him.

“Is this not a good enough connection?” Steve asked suddenly, raising his hand to her jaw and pulling her close for a kiss. It was (Y/n)’s turn to blush, pulling back slightly as she pulled her bottom lip through her teeth.

“Yes, Captain, I believe it is,” (Y/n)’s voice was quiet as Steve leaned forward, resting his forehead against hers, taking a deep and shaky breath. “What’s wrong?” she asked, her eyes straining to focus on Steve’s face so close to hers. He let out a short, quiet laugh.

“Nothing, I just shouldn’t like hearing you call me that as much as I do,” Steve ran his hand down to cradle the side of (Y/n)’s neck, letting his thumb brush absently along her jawline.

“What, ‘Captain’?” (Y/n) tried to keep the smirk out of her voice but failed.

“Yes,” Steve nearly moaned as his lips crashed against (Y/n)’s. 

Steve’s tongue ran over her bottom lip and he smiled when he heard the soft sigh that came from (Y/n) at the feeling. His hand reached down to her waist and slid under her shirt, resting against the skin on the small of her back. Steve let his fingers run up into (Y/n)’s hair, holding her head as he slipped his tongue into her mouth, a dim portion of his mind feeling smug at the sounds he pulled from (Y/n) at his touch. The kiss was slow, but insistent and as Steve finally, reluctantly pulled away to look down at (Y/n), her eyes stayed closed, her lips bruised from his. Without opening her eyes, (Y/n) leaned forward into Steve’s arms, curling up against his chest, her legs draped lazily over his lap. 

“There’s still so much to go through,” (Y/n) said, opening one eye and picking up another folder, leafing through it halfheartedly. “I know you’re a super soldier, but us plain old humans need sleep to function. Or coffee,” she added with a laugh.

Steve took the folder from (Y/n) and picked up the remaining papers on the couch, setting them on the coffee table. (Y/n) was right, there was only so much cramming that can be done before information starts going in one ear and out the other. 

She had worked hard and he was proud of her, but he feared she wouldn’t be able to memorize it all in time. They were under a deadline yet had no idea when it would fall and her life depended on her ability to memorize this information _and_ learn enough from himself, Natasha, and Clint to convince whoever captured her that she was a legitimate SHIELD operative. 

“Things will work out, you know that, right?” she said looking up at him. 

His eyes were filled with concern and (Y/n) couldn’t help but reach up to cup the side of his face. Steve gave her a small smile.

“I know,” he said quietly as he pushed her hair out of her face and behind her ear. “You’re doing great; it’s just a lot to learn,” Steve took a deep breath. “And you have training tomorrow with Clint,” he reminded her. (Y/n) simply groaned. 

“He’s going to give me so much crap for that stunt I pulled. What was I thinking?” she fell forward so her head was against Steve’s chest. She could feel the rumble in his chest as he laughed and wrapped his arms around her. 

“You’ll be fine, (Y/n),” he said stroking her hair. “You should get some sleep,” Steve added when he felt (Y/n) start to drift off leaning against him. She murmured something unintelligible and Steve stood, carrying (Y/n) down the hall to her room. 

It was a short walk and soon (Y/n) was in her own bed, the covers pulled up around her shoulders as she shifted to get comfortable. Steve stared down at her for a long time, his mind drifting for the first time to what HYDRA might do if they knew about his feelings for (Y/n). 

How many ways could they use (Y/n) or Steve against the other? How many ways could they use their feelings to torment the pair? To coerce information out of them, to force their hands to do terrible things? Steve ran his hand through his hair as he watched her sleeping, thinking back to how they had kissed not fifteen minutes ago. Her feelings were clear.

_Do I pull away?_ Steve thought, hating himself for what he was considering. _Can I hurt her to protect her?_ he asked himself, his fist coming to rest in front of his lips. He thought of the way her lips felt on his skin and his stomach began to flip. Then he thought of those lips cold and still. _We can just wait until this business is finished…when she’s back and safe, and HYDRA’s no longer a threat,_ he tried to convince himself.

As he shut the door, Steve knew he was only fooling himself. There would always be a threat, and anyone close to him would get caught in the crossfires. Tomorrow he would start to distance himself. 

\--

Steve ran through the burning building, explosions echoing off the bunker walls as he moved. 

“(Y/n)!” he shouted, rounding a corner and sliding to a stop. The sounds had all stopped, filling the corridor with heavy silence. Turning sideways, Steve held his shield in front of him, stepping foot over foot as he advanced towards the door ahead of him. The walls to each side of him were solid concrete, reinforced with steel, but his main focus was on the white door up ahead, lit with a bright light that cast the walls to either side in shadow. 

A scream tore through the silence. It made Steve’s blood run cold. In that scream was fear, anger, and utter despair. A second scream followed soon after, and as much as Steve willed his feet to move faster, he couldn’t move. 

Without warning, Steve was suddenly in the doorway. Light still shone through from behind him, illuminating (Y/n)’s broken body on the ground before him. Steve’s eyes looked around frantically for some way out, for some saving grace. There was none. (Y/n) lay in a pool of her own blood on a HYDRA emblem drawn into the floor.

(Y/n) cried out for Steve, her head turning from side to side, looking for him, waiting for him to rescue her. But he couldn’t move his feet. 

“Steve?” (Y/n) wailed as she saw him standing in the door. Two men immediately came from either side and grabbed her arms, pulling her back towards the ledge. Another set of explosions rocked the bunker, and an ominous red glow now rose from the drop off.

The men held (Y/n) with cruel fingers, squeezing her arms until she cried out. 

“Steve! Run! Get out!” (Y/n) pleaded as her back hit the railing. A nod between the men was the only warning before the flipped (Y/n) over the railing, letting her drop into the billowing flames below. 

He couldn’t force his voice to call out to her, nor could he step forward. A familiar voice whispered in his ear _Hail HYDRA_ and Steve lurched, turning to catch a quick glimpse of a man before he shot up in bed, panting. 

“(Y/n),” he gasped flinging himself from his bed and running down the hall to her door. He silently opened her apartment and crept to her doorway, not wanting to wake her. 

Steve turned the doorknob to (Y/n)’s bedroom as quietly as he could, leaning around the door jamb to catch a glimpse of (Y/n) sleeping. The covers were thrown back and the bed was empty. Without a second thought, Steve moved to the bed, placing his hand over where (Y/n) usually slept, his heart racing.

_Still warm,_ he thought, looking to the window. It was still locked and they were too high in the tower for an attack from the outside to go unnoticed. Steve took a few steps backwards, preparing to run. At that moment, he heard a quiet creak and spun, grabbing the figure that had stepped into the room. 

In one swift motion, Steve had the intruder pinned against the wall. He had the intruder’s arm pulled mercilessly behind their back, face pressed against the cool wall when he heard the crash of a glass breaking against the floor at the same time his foot was drenched in water. 

“Steve? What the hell?” (Y/n) stared wide-eyed at the man pinning her to the wall.

“(Y/n)? Thank God,” Steve said pulling her into an embrace. Confusion passed over (Y/n)’s face at Steve’s obvious distress. She felt his quick breaths and how tightly he held her.

“Steve,” (Y/n) whispered as she finally wrapped her hands around to his back, stroking up and down. “What’s going on? You’re scaring me,” she tried to keep her voice as even and calming as possible though fear was beginning to well up in her chest.

“You weren’t there,” Steve tried to explain, stepping back and gesturing to the bed. “I thought they had you. I saw you-“ he stopped and (Y/n) looked up ag him.

“I just went to get a drink,” she explained, offering the now empty glass of water as proof. 

“I’m sorry. Let me,” Steve fumbled over his words as he went to grab a towel to dry the water on the carpet. 

(Y/n) knelt down in front of Steve, watching while he sopped up the water, refusing to meet her gaze. 

“Steve? Steve,” (Y/n) reached over and stilled his hand and waited until he looked up at her. “What’s going on?” she repeated her earlier question.

“It’s nothing, (Y/n),” he said, returning to his already completed task of wiping water from the floor. (Y/n) said his name once more, concern filling her voice. Steve closed his eyes and let the towel fall to the floor. “It was just a nightmare, (Y/n). I’m alright,” he insisted. The two sat in silence, Steve staring at the floor, (Y/n) staring at Steve.

“Tell me what happened,” (Y/n)’s voice was quiet but firm.

“HYDRA had you, and I watched you die,” he said simply. (Y/n)’s breath caught in her throat at the blunt statement. Neither spoke for what felt like an eternity. Finally Steve took a deep breath and shook his head, turning over the broken glass in his hands. “Bucky was there, I think it was him, you know how dreams are,” he added absently.

Steve looked up to see (Y/n) staring intently at him, concern filled her eyes. His heart ached at the idea of her being taken, hurt and killed just because of some tenuous link between them. The idea of pushing her away hurt her even worse. Setting aside the broken glass, Steve pulled (Y/n) slowly to himself, the two wrapping their arms around each other while on their knees. 

“I’m so sorry you’ve been dragged into this,” he whispered and (Y/n) took a deep breath, about to scold him for one again apologizing for something beyond his control. “Wait, just, please let me get this out,” Steve held (Y/n)’s head to his shoulder as he looked out over her head, unable to meet her eyes. “I could’ve prevented this all if I’d have gotten you out of that alley sooner. You wouldn’t be in danger. You wouldn’t even be considering putting your life on the line for an agency you have no connection to.” Steve took another steadying breath.

“But I’m glad I didn’t, (Y/n), and that sounds so awful and cliché, but it’s true, because somewhere along the way I fell for you. I fell hard,” Steve pulled back so he could look down at (Y/n) who was now looking up dumbfounded by the direction Steve’s thoughts had turned. “No more limbo, no more half way. No more worrying about what people see, what people think. I want you to be mine, (Y/n),” he said looking down at her. All (Y/n) could manage at first was a nod.

“Okay,” she said, nodding once more. 

Steve stared. _Okay? I just poured my heart out, and she says okay?_ he frowned. (Y/n) gave a half smile as she leaned forward and placed a gentle kiss on Steve’s lips. Pulling back she looked up once more at him. 

Steve’s eyes roamed over her face in the moonlight, settling on her lips. He whispered (Y/n)’s name and his hands tightened around her pulling her roughly against him, capturing her mouth with his. Steve leaned forward, bending (Y/n) backwards as he pressed her body firmly against his.

When (Y/n) looked up finally, Steve’s hand stopped and he pulled her chin up gently and leaned down to meet her lips. He kissed her gently, holding the back of her head as his lips tugged at hers. (Y/n)’s hand rested on his chest, supporting herself as she leaned into Steve. 

Steve’s hands wandered over (Y/n)’s back as his mouth left hers to kiss along her jaw and down her neck to her collar bone. He was so lost in the feeling of (Y/n) that when she sighed his name, he didn’t feel smug nor did he smirk at her reaction. Steve felt himself relax hearing the noises (Y/n) made as his lips explored her neck and shoulders. 

Before she knew what was happening, Steve had his hands behind (Y/n)’s thighs and had lifted her so her legs wrapped around his middle while he stood. His lips never left (Y/n)’s neck as he walked them to the bed, gently laying (Y/n) down under him. (Y/n) looked up at Steve when he finally pulled back. Her hands went to his hair and his to her side, gently sliding the large tee shirt up and out of his way. As his hands reached (Y/n)’s ribcage he hesitated, blushing slightly. 

“I…may I?” he asked quietly and (Y/n) nodded. At her permission, Steve let his hand brush over her breast. (Y/n) gasped and Steve’s hand closed around her breast, massaging it. He glanced up at (Y/n)’s parted lips and leaned down to tug her lower lip between his, finally smirking when she arched her back to press her chest further into his hand. Steve pushed the shirt up, immediately kissing her other breast.

“Steve!” (Y/n) whimpered and let her arms raise above her head so Steve could rid her of the shirt completely. 

“That’s better,” Steve murmured against her breast, letting his tongue run along the under curve all the way up to her nipple. 

(Y/n) gave a soft moan, and arched her hips forward. Steve’s breath hitched as her hips rolled against his, looking up to see her confused at his reaction. Slowly and deliberately, (Y/n) pressed her hips up again, watching Steve’s eyes slide shut as she felt him hard against her thigh. Biting her lip, it was (Y/n)’s turn to be shy as she let her hands trail down Steve’s chest, resting at his stomach. Suddenly shy, (Y/n) leaned up to kiss Steve. As they kissed, (Y/n) cautiously ran her hand between Steve’s legs, pressing her palm up against him. Steve’s hips pressed forward into her hand and he groaned into her mouth. Emboldened, she pressed again, more firmly and soon, she was stroking him, his hips moving in time with her hand. (Y/n) tugged at his shirt suddenly, wanting to feel his skin against hers and wordlessly, Steve pulled his shirt off, dropping it somewhere on the floor. 

Now rid of his shirt, Steve rolled to the side, slipping his arm behind (Y/n) while his other hand ran down her stomach. He leaned down to kiss her gently while his hand roamed over her thigh and brushed against her panties. 

“Steve,” she whispered against his lips.

“Say that again,” he murmured against her lips.

“Steve,” (Y/n) said again and as she did, he slipped his fingers into her panties and slowly rubbed her. (Y/n) clutched at Steve, desperate for something to hold on to. 

“God you feel so good,” Steve said, his lips now pressed to (Y/n)’s throat as she parted her legs. 

Steve tentatively slipped one finger inside of her and both moaned. Adding a second finger, Steve slowly slid his fingers in and out of (Y/n) while she rocked her hips against his hand. It took a moment for her to realize she could feel how hard Steve was, pressed against her thigh, rubbing himself against her in time with his fingers. (Y/n) reached down and pushed his shorts down out of the way, desperate to touch him.

“(Y/n), you don’t have to –“ Steve started but hissed when (Y/n) wrapped her fingers around him and gave one tentative stroke. 

“And if I want to?” she whispered, arching and crying out when Steve let his finger slide up and over her clit. “Yes!” she gasped and Steve let his fingers lazily run over her before sliding back into her. 

(Y/n) squeezed her hand around Steve when he slid into her, pulling in long strokes until his fingers began to move faster. He reached further and crooked his fingers inside of her while his thumb rolled her clit back and forth.

“Steve!” (Y/n) cried out as release took her. Steve watched her face and the way she tightened around his fingers and kissed her once more. With the arm wrapped behind (Y/n), Steve cradled her, holding her against him while she reached up, clutching at him through her orgasm.

Steve continued to push himself against (Y/n)’s leg and soon, she had her hand back around him. She once again matched Steve’s pace, stroking faster as he leaned forward, his forehead pressed into her neck. 

“Oh God, (Y/n),” he grunted and (Y/n) felt warm wetness spurt over her stomach and up to her breasts. “Yes, God yes,” Steve let his hips rock a few more times. 

Both were spent. Steve laid his head down against (Y/n)’s shoulder, his arm draped over her while they caught their breath. Without a word, Steve reached over and grabbed the towel from the spilled water and cleaned (Y/n)’s stomach and chest off. He blushed as he looked up at (Y/n) but she held his hand still for a moment, leaning up to kiss him. Steve tossed the dirty towel into the dirty laundry while he lazily kissed (Y/n), rolling over so she could lean against him.

“I wasn’t expecting any of that,” Steve admitted, running his hand through (Y/n)’s hair. 

“Me either,” she laughed and pressed a kiss to Steve’s chest. 

Steve felt (Y/n) shiver once as a child went up her back from his fingers playing along her spine. He reached down and pulled the blanket up over the two of them. (Y/n) settled in against his chest, slowly starting to drift off.

“Did you mean all of that?” she asked quietly. 

“Hmm?” Steve’s eyes were closed, content to simply hold (Y/n) for the moment.

“What you said, about being yours,” (Y/n) ran her hand over Steve’s chest.

“I did,” he said, pressing his lips against (Y/n)’s head, then to her lips when she looked up at him. “I probably should’ve asked you,” he chuckled. “I mean, would you like to maybe go for coffee? Or dinner? When all of this chaos is over?” 

(Y/n) noticed that all of the amusement was gone from Steve’s face. He was honestly asking her on a date. She opened her mouth to make a joke but couldn’t bring herself to. After everything he was honest to goodness asking her on a date.

“Dinner sounds nice,” (Y/n) said with a sleepy smile. 

“It’s a date then?” Steve looked nervous still and (Y/n) giggled.

“Yes, Steve, it’s a date,” she sighed and closed her eyes as the two drifted off to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there wasn't a whooole lot of plot development here, just a bit of Steve figuring things out as you saw. And yeah, first *real* attempt at some smut, I'm very shy, I don't write this stuff well, so be gentle with me! I really hope you guys enjoyed this. I've been working on this chapter for about a week, I'm not super thrilled with it but it is what it is. Let me know what you guys think! you're support has been amazing and continues to keep me going as I write -- much love <3


	19. Target Practice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, I wanted to get a chapter out to you guys! A number of you have been asking if I was going to keep updating and I absolutely am! I was very sick last week and this week is my last intense summer work week so within the next week or two I'll get back to my normal updating schedule (which is Kidnapped gets updated first part of the weekend and Good Samaritan the second half or vice versa). I love you all and your support is so incredible! I feel like I've sort of abandoned you this summer but I promise this will be regularly updating again starting very soon! This is a bit of a shorter chapter but I definitely wanted to give you guys something to hold you over for the next week or so. Much love <3

Morning came bright and early accompanied by the screech of (Y/n)’s alarm clock. With a groan, she rolled to her side, swatting at the damn machine to get it to leave her be. Her hand finally connected with the snooze button just as Steve’s arm tightened around her middle, drawing her back against him. The feeling of his skin against hers was startling until she remembered last night. A sleepy smile crept to her lips along with an intense blush at the fact that she was still bare-chested. 

(Y/n)’s eyes trailed up over her arm resting on Steve’s chest to his lips before she met his eyes. He smiled at her pink cheeks, bringing his hand up to brush the back of his knuckles lightly over the side of her face. 

“Morning,” Steve’s voice was rough and sleep laden. 

Both were at a loss for words at the sudden leap they had taken the previous night and neither wanted to disturb the relative peace of resting in bed. The sound of the alarm blaring once again took care of that. With a groan from both, (Y/n) sat up and turned the alarm off, taking care to hold the sheet up over her chest. With her back turned, Steve allowed himself a moment to appreciate the curve of her back down to where the lace of her underwear hugged her hips. 

Without thinking, Steve crawled forward and pressed a kiss to the back of (Y/n)’s shoulder. “Are you alright?” he asked quietly. He feared he had pushed things too fast too suddenly and that she was distressed. Quickly, (Y/n) turned and gave Steve a shy smile and a nod, leaning forward to press a chaste kiss to his lips. 

“Just not a morning person,” she whispered. “Not the best trait in a nurse but that’s why I usually worked second or night shift,” (Y/n) smirked. “Last night was-“ she trailed off at a loss for words. _Incredible? Amazing?_ too cliché. Instead of finishing, (Y/n) turned completely and let her forehead rest against Steve’s before her head settled in against his neck. Steve wrapped his arms around her and pulled her back into the bed, laying down to make the morning last just that much longer. 

“You have training soon,” he mumbled against the side of (Y/n)’s head. She grunted her awareness of that fact but closed her eyes. 

“I should probably get dressed,” (Y/n) sighed. Her legs were tangled in with Steve’s and she was once again acutely aware of how little she was wearing. Steve’s cheeks flushed again, now that he felt her bare chest against his own once more. 

“As much as I hate to agree,” he smirked, trying to hide his awkwardness, “I’d really be upset if you went to train with Barton like this.” (Y/n) laughed and swatted Steve’s shoulder. 

“Is it weird if I ask you to not look while I go to the shower?” (Y/n) didn’t meet Steve’s eyes as she bit her lip, waiting for his response. Steve brought (Y/n)’s chin up so he could look down at her.

“Not at all,” was all he said at first, followed by a kiss to each of her cheeks and then her lips. “Here,” he stood and handed her his tee shirt unable to find what she’d been wearing before. Steve turned his back while (Y/n) slipped the shirt on over her head, taking a moment to breathe in the comforting smell. 

“I’m decent,” she said and Steve turned back around. His breath hitched ever so slightly. Decent was not the word he’d use to describe the woman standing in front of him, sleepy eyed, hair ruffled and wearing _his_ shirt that came just past her hips. “What is it?” (Y/n) asked at the confusing look she saw in Steve’s eyes.

Steve took a few steps towards her, his confidence around her steadily increasing. “Just promise me I’m the only one who gets to see you like this,” he murmured running his hands up her arms. (Y/n) blushed and nodded. She didn’t think she’d ever be able to hear Steve speaking like this without her cheeks betraying her. 

“So long as I’m the only one who gets to see you like this,” (Y/n) was proud of her comeback. It was only then that Steve realized he was standing only in his boxers. It was his turn to blush fiercely. 

“Of course, dear,” he quickly recovered. 

“Alright, as much as I’d love to stay and continue this,” (Y/n) sighed and looked towards the bathroom, “I need to get ready for a training session. I have a feeling if I’m late there will be too many questions of the personal nature,” she raised an eyebrow and Steve laughed and nodded knowingly.

“Barton,” was his reply. (Y/n) gave a _Yupp_ letting the P pop at the end. “I’ll come by and see how you’re doing in a few hours. I have work to get done myself,” Steve said pulling on his sweats. 

“You do that quite a bit, check up on me and my training progress,” (Y/n) said, her hand on the doorknob to the bathroom.

Steve chuckled and shrugged, “Hey it is my job. Check up on training here, make sure everyone is doing their due diligence.” (Y/n) stepped behind the door and tugged the shirt off before throwing it at Steve. He caught the shirt and laughed.

“Check that ‘due diligence’ Captain!” (Y/n) laughed and shut the door.

“Yes, ma’am,” he sighed and headed out the door. 

\--

By the time (Y/n) made it to the firing range, Clint was already there, letting loose arrow after arrow at a target at the far end of the range. 

“I thought firing ranges were generally for firearms,” (Y/n) asked once Clint had lowered his bow and stepped back. 

With a low chuckle he nodded. “Generally speaking, yes. This is not your average facility though,” he crooked an eyebrow and (Y/n) conceded his point. 

“Are you going to teach me with a bow? Because I’m pretty sure I’m supposed to learn how to use a gun today.” 

“I’m going to teach you about _accuracy_ with a bow. Then show you how to apply it to a gun. Natasha or Steve will show you the ins and outs of gun mechanics, taking them apart, cleaning them, ammunition, and that enthralling business. Though God knows why I’m gonna let Natasha teach you anything else,” he groaned. (Y/n) winced glancing to the bruising on either side of his nose that stretched under his eyes.

“Yeah…I’m sorry about that,” (Y/n) tried her best to look contrite. Clint raised his eyebrows smugly.

“You got a lucky shot,” he laughed and that was the end of it. 

Soon he had (Y/n) holding a bow and nocking an arrow, focusing intently on a target he had brought much closer to their end of the firing range. Clint had his hands on her shoulders, squaring her up and adjusting her stance. He gave quiet instructions on how to breathe, how to look, where to focus and after a few tries, (Y/n) managed to hit the target. 

(Y/n) was frustrated. It took her ages to get all the variables under her control and yet she was only just able to hit the round target. The idea of shooting anything in the field by reflex and having any success seemed like a distant reality. 

Clint sensed her frustration and put a hand to her shoulder. “It’ll come with practice, and time.”

“I don’t have time though,” she grumbled and Clint turned her so he could study her face.

“Getting angry and flustered will get you nowhere. You have to stay calm, you have to stay focused, you have to breathe, and you have to feel where your target is and where he or she will be,” he said sternly. “We don’t have the luxury to let you go be angry at your rate of progress, so do yourself a favor and take everything in and practice like your life depends on it whenever we’re not around because it does, (Y/n).”

(Y/n) was taken aback by Clint’s change in tone. He had gone from goofy show-off to stern instructor who had no time for a surly apprentice. With a nervous swallow, (Y/n) nodded and took her stance again, letting Clint guide her through the motions. Her arrow hit a little closer to the center of the target. 

“Good, now try it with a gun,” Clint said handing her a loaded handgun. 

They moved stations and now her target was a piece of paper with the outline of a human torso. The scenario (Y/n) found herself in became much more real aiming a gun at what would be a human target in the field. _Can I do this?_ she thought before reminding herself that she already had. That had been self-defense. Kill or be killed. This was different. This was training to kill. _They’re not going to send you on assassination missions, you’re being trained to look the part and to protect yourself_. (Y/n) managed to calm herself slightly and took aim.

“Aiming with a gun is different,” Clint said and once again adjusted her stance. He explained the sights on the gun and how to line them up with her intended target. “Just like with the bow, it’s your ability to focus and breathe that will get you to where you need to go with this, (Y/n),” he said and stepped back. 

As with the bow and arrow, (Y/n) barely made the target missing the torso’s outline completely. (Y/n) grit her teeth and lined herself up again for another shot. The bullet missed the hanging target completely. She muttered a curse under her breath and Clint put his hand on her shoulder, waiting for her to take off her ear protection.

“The angrier you get, the worse your shot will be,” he said pointedly. Clint watched as (Y/n) took a deep breath and gave her a nod to try again. The shot wasn’t a complete failure but it was far below the level she needed to attain. “You’ll be down here practicing with all of your spare time. That’s how the best get to be the best, (Y/n).” Before he could continue with his critique, his phone buzzed. A quick look and a frown made it clear that their lesson would not continue as planned. “Mission. Urgent. Sorry (Y/n), time to go learn about gun mechanics from Natasha. I want you practicing with both the bow and your handguns while I’m gone.” His instruction left no room for interpretation. 

The next several hours Natasha had (Y/n) putting together and taking apart gun after gun after gun. She had (Y/n) cleaning each and every weapon whether it needed it or not. 

“I want you to be able to dismantle a gun in your sleep and put one together and fire it blindfolded.” (Y/n) didn’t know if Natasha was being facetious or not. 

“You’re aware I just need to be able to _pass_ as a SHIELD agent, right? I’m not going on a mission to take someone out,” (Y/n) watched Natasha out of the corner of her eye while she pieced the gun back together.

Natasha sighed and took in (Y/n)’s exhausted posture. They were pushing her hard. They had a damn good reason to, but they were still pushing her hard. 

“(Y/n), your mission is to get us into wherever HYDRA is coordinating their efforts. You’ll be tasked with getting as much information as you can. We don’t know what they’ll do to you. If,” she quickly corrected herself, “ _when_ we come to get you, you may need to help in the firefight to get out. Your life will depend on it, as will some of ours most likely,” Natasha watched for (Y/n) to panic but continued when she only saw her freeze briefly. “This whole mission is risky at best, (Y/n). There is a real possibility you could end up dead, or worse.” (Y/n) swallowed as her hands shook. “Are you still up to doing this?” 

Natasha leaned forward, elbows on her knees as she studied (Y/n)’s reaction. (Y/n) was well aware of the danger she faced though she had never put words to exactly what might happen. In all fairness, Natasha hadn’t gone into detail about her potential fate, but it was clear. Death would be the best case scenario if things went horribly wrong. She wasn’t sure if she could do this. 

“I’m not saying this to be harsh. We’ve beat around the bush long enough, (Y/n). Your capture may mean torture, using you for bait to catch us, death. We thought HYDRA was gone, that Steve took it down when he went into the ice. There’s 70 years of development that we have absolutely no idea about. You need to know this going in. It wouldn’t be fair to you to go in blind. There’s a very real possibility that we won’t be able to get you out,” Natasha said softly. (Y/n) gave a quick nod forcing the tears back. She couldn’t let this professional assassin super spy see her break down. If Natasha were to have any faith in (Y/n)’s ability to do this, she had to push it back. 

“I know, I’ve thought about it probably more than I should have,” (Y/n) finally answered. Natasha studied (Y/n) carefully for another minute. It wasn’t until (Y/n) finally met her stare that Natasha gave a curt nod and returned to the guns. 

“We all have,” Steve said behind (Y/n). His arms were crossed and his mouth was set in a firm line as he looked at Natasha. “Was that really necessary?” he was clearly unimpressed with Natasha’s decision to discuss all the potential areas for failure within this mission. She simply raised her eyebrow. “Where’s Barton?”

“He got a message,” (Y/n) piped up quick to turn the conversation from its morbid state, “he said it was something about a mission?” It was Natasha’s turn to frown as she checked her phone.

“Odd that he got called on a solo mission,” she said and Steve stepped forward, bringing his phone out as well. 

“I didn’t get anything about it either,” he was suspicious. The three exchanged glances.

“HYDRA?” Natasha finally gave voice to what each was thinking. 

Without another word, Natasha, (Y/n), and Steve left the armory and headed for Stark’s communication center. When they got there, Natasha immediately sat down and began typing furiously to find out where the order had originated. 

“Shouldn’t we send Clint a message? Warn him?” (Y/n) asked Steve who was looking over Natasha’s shoulder.

“If they sent him the mission information directly to his phone, they might be able to intercept anything we send him. They can’t know we know they exist, or that they’re within SHIELD’s databases,” Natasha’s voice was monotone as she continued typing. “It says the mission originated from you, Steve, that you gave the order,” she looked up just as Steve pounded his fist on the counter.

“Damnit, what if he’s walking into a trap?”

“Barton’s got a good head on his shoulders. All of HYDRA’s mini ‘attacks’ have been benign enough, he should be okay,” Natasha’s tone betrayed her worry for her best friend. 

Steve was pacing in the communications room, fist to his chin deep in thought. _So now they’re sending orders through SHIELD?_ “Is there any way to do a reverse trace? Follow them back through to see where they’re doing this from?” Natasha shook her head.

“That’s what I’m trying to do but the signal is masked and it’s bouncing all over the globe,” she grit her teeth in frustration before sitting back in her chair in a huff. “We need a hacker, and even then the chance we’d be able to get anything of value is slim to none,” she tapped her middle finger on the arm of the chair as she thought. 

“So we have no way of knowing what orders from SHIELD are legitimate and which are from HYDRA,” Steve stared at the floor as he thought about the implications. “We need to get Stark on this,” Steve’s voice was deadly calm. “We’ll need our own network to communicate on. Just us. Fury, Hill, Stark, You,” he nodded to Natasha, “Barton, Banner, myself, and (Y/n).” He gave a nod as he thought about his idea.

“Me?” 

“Yes. Honestly I’m surprised they didn’t try to send you a fake “SHIELD” assignment first. You’re the one they’re desperate to get to,” Steve frowned. That would have been both extremely helpful but devastating. HYDRA would have expected to see (Y/n) out in the field in action while she was barely able to play the part of agent.

“Let’s just be glad they didn’t,” (Y/n) said quietly. “What about Clint? Natasha, is there really no way to contact him? To warn him?” 

Natasha sat deep in thought before answering.

“Without compromising everything?” she arched an eyebrow and tilted her head. “I can see where he was sent and what his mission was. We can at least keep an eye on him and maybe catch a glimpse of what HYDRA is doing. He’ll be okay. So far none of these have been dangerous,” she didn’t look completely convinced, none of them did.

“Do it, we need as much information as possible,” Steve said. “I’m going to talk with Stark about setting up our own private communication system. Keep me updated, Romanoff,” he started towards the door. 

When Steve’s mind was set to a mission, little else interfered but he hesitated when he realized (Y/n) was standing in the middle of the room. She was still caught up in the middle of this gigantic mess and he was loth to leave her to fend for herself in the middle of what was shaping to be a very chaotic evening.

“Go,” (Y/n) said when she saw Steve glance over at her. “I’ll stay with Nat, be an extra pair of eyes once she gets into the surveillance cameras wherever they sent Clint. Who knows, maybe I’ll earn my keep tonight,” (Y/n) gave Steve a nervous smile. His eyes softened and he nodded once before going off in search of Tony. 

“Already starting to think like an agent, (Y/n),” Natasha said absently as she brought up maps and finally coordinates for where Clint had been sent. “We have a few different cameras to watch and he should be there in a few hours. Get settled in for a long night, (Y/n),” she added while (Y/n) pulled up a chair. Six camera angles were brought up on the large monitors in front of the pair. 

“Feels just like home,” (Y/n) huffed, “instead of EKGs and monitors it’s people.”

“Don’t think this gets you out of target practice later,” Natasha said glancing at (Y/n).

“Wouldn’t dream of it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case I haven't said it enough, You guys are the BESTEST! Your comments mean the world to me (I read each and every one and re-read them when I'm down and wanting to write and just don't have the time so sit down at a computer, thank the Lord for smart phones!!). I hope to reply to each and every comment once I'm back to my normal routine. Right now any spare moment I have I'm trying to write so you guys have something to read :) Much love <3


	20. Preparation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahh! So since finishing up these summer hours... I've JUST found some of my original notes for this piece--let me tell you I got SUPER SUPER EXCITED ALL OVER AGAIN! There were plot ideas I had forgotten about (well not forgotten but ideas that got pushed out of the way for a while as I got the plot moving) and let me just say I'm so amped to be working on this again! I may even write another chapter tomorrow... maybe... ;) I've miss all of you and I hope that this chapter doesn't disappoint! (Yes, It is a chapter that sets up events in the near future so it isn't *terribly* exciting). Love you all!

Natasha and (Y/n) had spent a majority of the afternoon and early evening staring at monitors while Steve was off working with Stark to set up secure communication channels for the team. (Y/n)’s eyes burned from staring at the screens and a migraine loomed if she didn’t get a break soon. It would have been easier if they knew exactly what it was they were looking for, but as of now, they only suspected where Barton had made his nest from eliminating areas that could be seen by security cameras and points that were too low for him to get a proper view of where his supposed target would be.

“We do know that he hasn’t been sent to take out someone innocent, right?” (Y/n) asked Natasha, eyes still glued to the screen.

“From what we could find out, it looks like he’s supposed to be stopping an assassination attempt. He’s supposed to provide cover if something goes down,” Natasha said absently. 

While it was far from secure, Natasha had managed to get any mission notifications or updates that were sent to Clint also sent to her phone. They’d received a few that afternoon, mainly regarding the location of the target to be protected. 

It was nearing midnight and (Y/n) had to hold her head up with both hands to keep from falling asleep. _Just need to close my eyes for a second_ she thought to herself and soon she jolted upright as her head fell out of the heel of her hand.

“Wake up,” Natasha sounded just as tired as (Y/n) felt. “They sent him another message, he’s returning to the tower. It was a false alarm,” she sighed and leaned back in the chair. The two were beyond exhausted and as relieved as they were that there ultimately wasn’t any danger, the frustration of hours spent in tense anticipation was very real. “Go get some sleep. You need to be at the firing range first thing in the morning,” Natasha stood and stretched.

(Y/n) arched her back forward, pushing her arms over her head as far as she could. All she wanted was a warm bed. She couldn’t possibly care less about dinner, a shower, down time, all she wanted was sleep. Using the desk in front of her to push herself up, (Y/n) leaned forward, standing as she did. Her face was close to the screen for a brief moment and a flash caught her eye. 

“Natasha, look at this real quick,” (Y/n) kept her weight on her hands on the desk as she stared at the screen. There was another brief flash of light. It was pinpoint, hardly registering as it flashed back and forth. 

“What is…” Natasha leaned over (Y/n)’s shoulder to get a closer look at the screen. Her eyes went wide as she cursed. “It’s a scope,” she said, whipping out her phone. “Barton! Someone’s watching you—yes I know you’re on a mission you moron. There’s a scope, I don’t know where you are but you need to take cover!” Natasha hissed into the phone before her face paled. “Clint? Clint!” she shouted at the phone. 

The line went dead. (Y/n) was too afraid to ask what Clint had said back to Natasha, or what Natasha had heard on the other end of the line. Natasha quickly called Steve to let him know what had happened and it took a direct order from him to keep Natasha from going off after Clint alone. Before long, the three of them plus Stark were in the conference room looking over the footage starting where (Y/n) had first seen the odd flash to just after the line went dead. They pulled up every camera available in that area, hoping, praying to see _something_ that would help them. 

Tony heaved a sigh and shook his head. “I don’t think we’re going to find anything else here. They were too careful, avoided all the cameras or moved them.” 

“I swear if Clint got his ass killed I’m going to kill him,” Natasha grit her teeth and shook her head, furious. 

“Lucky me then that I’m still alive. I’d hate to die twice,” Clint said from the door. He was leaning heavily on the door jamb, dried blood covering his arm and face. 

“What the hell happened?” Natasha was the first to jump up and go over to him. (Y/n) quickly followed, grabbing the first aid kid in the corner on her way. 

“Obviously this is another one of our little HYDRA friends’ ‘missions’ – you were right Nat, it was a scope. Wasn’t a hit on me though,” Clint said and held up his wrist. They’d managed to get handcuffs around one of his wrists. “Abduction? That’s a new one for HYDRA,” he raised an eyebrow. 

Natasha helped him to a chair and (Y/n) set out her supplies before she started patching Clint up. He had deep cuts and abrasions all over his arms and legs, a few on his face. “You’re lucky these aren’t deeper or you’d be in for a long session of getting stitched up,” (Y/n) muttered. 

“I think this goes without saying, but I’m saying it anyways. No solo missions until the threat from HYDRA is dealt with. Consider that a direct order,” Steve said. “We’ve almost finished setting up our secure lines to make sure this doesn’t happen again.”

Clint stared at Steve then turned to Natasha. “What am I missing here?”

“You weren’t sent on that mission from anyone in SHIELD. It originated from SHIELD but said Steve was the one issuing the order…he didn’t.” Natasha explained. 

“HYDRA?” Clint asked, Natasha just nodded. “Should’ve known,” he sighed. “You know, it’s nice having a nurse around here,” Clint looked down at (Y/n) as she finished cleaning a particularly bad cut. “She’s much gentler than you, Nat.” His remark only earned him a punch in the shoulder from his friend. “Steve, personally I vote we keep your girlfriend around. She’s pretty…useful that is,” he smirked. 

Tony let out a full belly laugh and Natasha smacked both him and Clint on the back of the head. Steve was rendered speechless but managed to pull off a warning glare at the archer. (Y/n) glanced between Steve and the three others. She wasn’t sure where this was heading. 

“Please, (Y/n). You’re in a tower with assassins, spies, and gossip masters,” Tony rolled his eyes. “This isn’t exactly news.” The rest of the group was actually quite pleased with the way things had developed between Steve and (Y/n). It had been a long time since they’d seen him happy. 

“Well, I think you’re all set for now, Mr. Barton,” (Y/n) quickly changed the subject as she pressed one last piece of tape over the gauze covering his arm. 

Steve walked over to where (Y/n) was putting the first aid kit back in order and as soon as she had finished he put a hand on the small of her back. Like Tony had said, it was pointless to try to keep secrets within this group and he had meant everything he said the previous night. Natasha beamed as she watched the two. 

“Get some rest, everyone. We have a lot of work ahead of us,” Steve said as he lead (Y/n) out of the room and down to the floor their rooms were on. 

“Well, you did say that you didn’t care anymore if they knew. How badly are we going to be harassed by those jokers?” (Y/n) said when they reached her door. Steve smiled and shook his head.

“It’ll be merciless, but it’s out of friendship,” Steve sighed, “At least that’s what I keep telling myself,” a smirk played at the corner of his mouth. (Y/n) laughed and leaned back against her door and looked at her watch. 

“Mmmph, 2:00am. If I fall asleep right now I can get 5 hours of sleep,” she groaned. Steve chuckled and took (Y/n)’s hand. 

“Go get some sleep,” he said quietly and raised her hand to kiss the back of her knuckles. Steve looked down into (Y/n)’s eyes as he let his lips linger on her hand. Her cheeks flushed pink and Steve was pleased at her reaction to him. (Y/n) wasn’t used to such romance. “Goodnight, (Y/n),” he smiled and stepped back. 

“Goodnight,” she smiled back, surprised by her shyness. 

\---

The following weeks were completely filled with training, preparation, and information gathering. Each day (Y/n) spent time with Clint at the firing range working on accuracy. After he finished his instructions, she’d stay there until lunch, firing shot after shot. Her first kill shot had her speechless. No one was even there to witness it. She proudly walked into the common kitchen that afternoon at lunch holding up the evidence of her success. Natasha was particularly proud.

Natasha spent each afternoon training with (Y/n). Sometimes she had Steve come by to act as an opponent, sometimes she had Clint do the same. (Y/n) was becoming more and more proficient at escaping and Natasha challenged her now to be able to initiate an attack and take out an opponent. The first time she was able to run and jump at Steve and pull him to the floor, Clint laughed and cheered from the rafters. 

“Well would you look at that! Maybe we should be have her take your place, Cap,” Clint enjoyed his heckling from high above. Steve quickly flipped (Y/n) over while she was celebrating her victory and had her pinned. 

“Tsk, you should know better, (Y/n),” Natasha said with her arms folded. Her smile belied her tone though. She was fast becoming (Y/n)’s friend and confidant. 

There was so much going through (Y/n)’s mind that even writing in her journal wasn’t helping her to sort it all out. Steve was always there to listen, but she was hesitant to burden him with her fears. He had many of the same worries she did, even more so because he knew what she’d be facing. Natasha not only allowed (Y/n) to talk through the jumble of emotions and thoughts caught up in her mind, but also began to give her practical advice as well.

Combat lessons began to give way to discussions on how to interact with enemies. The mind games they would play, and how to play them back. (Y/n) was grateful for her nursing background at this point; she was shocked at how much of the psychology she had been trained in to be a nurse was helpful in understanding Natasha’s mind game tactics. 

Some of Natasha’s talks were harder to stomach than others. 

“What you can take comfort in is that if they do interrogate you,” she said carefully, “you don’t have any information to give up. They’ll just think they can’t crack you because of your training.” Torture. Natasha was now preparing (Y/n) in even that they would try to torture information out of her. 

(Y/n) wondered what Steve would say if he knew about the things Natasha was telling her and preparing her for. Perhaps living in blissful ignorance helped Steve get through what was happening. She highly doubted it. (Y/n) and Natasha kept their talks as private and secret as possible. Natasha wanted to prepare (Y/n) in every way possible, and that meant discussing some things that were hard to stomach. (Y/n) appreciated Natasha’s transparency but refused to burden Steve with what she was being taught. On more than one occasion she’d awake from a nightmare only to tiptoe into Steve’s apartment next door and crawl into bed with him. He’d hold her and kiss the side of her head, whispering that everything was going to be alright while she curled into his protecting arms. 

One afternoon, (Y/n) was surprised to find Steve waiting at the door to her apartment. “Hey you,” she smiled up at Steve while she unlocked her door. She waited just inside for Steve to join her. “I only have a minute, I have to change and get over to the gym to meet Natasha,” (Y/n) said as she pulled a water bottle out and began filling it. 

“Not today,” he said and put his hand on her arm to still her. “Stark and Banner have put their heads together to come up with a tracking device that won’t be able to be traced. They said something about broadcasting on a different frequency, I’m not sure. All I know is they’ve got it figured out,” Steve let his voice trail off. The topic of a subdermal tracking device had been brought up several times but he’d never been able to tell how averse to the idea (Y/n) was. 

“Guess it’s time then,” she wasn’t thrilled with the idea however the thought of being captured by HYDRA without any means to be found by the team was far less appealing. “I still feel like a pet getting microchipped,” (Y/n) let out an uneasy laugh. Things were getting very real very quickly.

“I promise you it isn’t like that, and when this is all over we’ll take it out,” Steve gave (Y/n)’s arm a slight squeeze and she stepped closer to him so he’d pull her into a hug. “Honestly, I’m just praying we never have to use it,” he said as he rested his chin on top of her head. She was too precious to him to lose. His initial resistance to the idea of using her as bait on the principle of her being an innocent bystander and a civilian had given way to petrifying fear that he could lose her.

(Y/n) took a deep breath and stepped back, forcing a smile for Steve’s benefit. “Let’s get this over with. You promised me we could look at bringing my things over from my apartment, I’d much rather be discussing that instead of this.” 

Steve hit the button on the elevator to bring them to the lab floor. “Yes, I did promise that,” he chuckled. “Though is there much that you need from there? Your apartment here is furnished.”

“When Clint and Natasha brought some of my things over when I first got here, they got the things I couldn’t live without. That doesn’t mean I don’t have plenty of things with memories and value over there.” (Y/n) leaned against the side of the elevator. “We’re gonna have to be careful though, sweep everything I bring back here for bugs?” Steve just nodded as the elevator door opened.

“(Y/n)! Welcome, I honestly can’t remember if you’ve been given the grand tour of the lab before!” Tony greeted (Y/n) with open arms. Bruce stood back a ways laying equipment out on the table. He looked up and gave a nod and a quick smile. 

“There’s never been time for a complete tour, but I’ve seen it before,” (Y/n) indulged Tony. 

“Another time though, Tony. You said the tracker was ready?” Steve intervened before Tony could go off on a tangent about his recent projects. 

“Yessir,” he lead the two over to where Bruce was adjusting various instruments. “It’s a little bit larger than your standard subdermal tracking device, but we’ve tweaked it and I think you’ll like the results.” Tony picked up a pair of tweezers that held a small chip. “This is the prototype. The one we’ll put into you is sterile,” he gestured for (Y/n) to hold out her hand so he could drop the chip into her palm. “It can transmit standard AM radio waves. Techs usually don’t even sweep for those anymore. There are a few other ways we can track it that are untraceable. Here’s the bonus,” Tony held up a sheet that had numbers charted across it. “We can also track your basic vitals. Temperature, pulse, blood oxygen…we couldn’t figure out blood pressure, not without putting it into the wall of an artery which while tempting is just…”

“Too dangerous,” Bruce spoke up. Tony rolled his eyes.

“Yes, too dangerous,” Tony sighed. 

(Y/n) stared at the chip in her hand. “Well, so long as you can find me. Have you tested this?”

Tony put a hand over his heart in mock offence. “This, my dear, has been tested and retested. It works, trust me.” (Y/n) raised an eyebrow. “Alright, if not me, then trust Bruce,” (Y/n) laughed and nodded. “You ready?” He asked, genuinely concerned. 

(Y/n) risked a quick look at Steve before nodding, “Yeah, let’s do this,” she sighed. 

Tony took (Y/n)’s hand and brought her to a chair and put a pillow on the table in front of her. “It’ll be easier if you fold your arms and put your forehead on the pillow. It needs to go at the nape of your neck, least conspicuous place.”

“Again, this is way too close to microchipping your Beagle…” she muttered doing as Tony said. Bruce came over and rubbed betadine over where they were going to place the chip. 

“I’m going to numb you a bit, it’s not a major procedure or anything but…it is bigger than your standard chip and it won’t be comfortable,” Bruce warned as he rubbed a cotton ball over the area. “Just some lidocaine,” he said. 

Steve stood opposite of where (Y/n)’s hands were folded and took her hand in his when he saw her clenching her fists. “Squeeze if you need to,” he said quietly. (Y/n) gave one gentle squeeze to let him know she’d heard him, too worried to move her head. 

She was a nurse. This type of thing shouldn’t bother her as much as it did but there was still something foreign and frankly, terrifying about putting some piece of technology inside of her. (Y/n) forced herself to take slow deep breaths. _Biofeedback don’t fail me now,_ (Y/n) thought to herself.

“Can you feel this?” Bruce asked and poked where he had rubbed the lidocaine. 

“Just a bit,” (Y/n) said, more worried now that she could still feel. 

“Alright, I’m going to inject some. See if this helps more,” his voice was calm and even and (Y/n) latched on to it. “Just a pinch here…” 

(Y/n) immediately squeezed Steve’s hand. She couldn’t see him with her forehead pressed into the pillow on the table. Steve took his free hand and stroked along (Y/n)’s arm and leaned forward over her so he could talk quietly in her ear. “You’re doing great,” he reassured her and kissed the side of her head. 

“How about now, (Y/n)? Can you feel this?” Bruce asked again once he had given the extra lidocaine enough time to work. He poked where the chip would be injected with a pair of tweezers. 

“No, can’t feel that,” she said and heaved a sigh of relief. 

“Okay, I need you to hold still. Like we said, it’s a bit bigger than a standard chip so the needle will be bigger. It won’t feel great,” he said sympathetically. He didn’t want to lie-better she prepare herself than flinch and have to go through it again. 

“I’m ready,” (Y/n) grit her teeth and squeezed Steve’s hand. 

Tony helped hold (Y/n)’s head still while Bruce picked up the syringe. He gave a countdown and soon the needle was under (Y/n)’s skin deep enough that it wouldn’t be felt or seen by anyone. (Y/n) bit her lip, refusing to cry out. She felt the chip as it was seated under her skin, groaning at the unpleasant sensation. Bruce pulled the empty syringe back and immediately placed a piece of gauze over the injection to staunch the bleeding.

“You did great, (Y/n),” Bruce said and Tony let up his grip on her head. She left her forehead on the pillow and took some deep breaths while Steve continued to lean over her. 

Both Bruce and Tony immediately went over to the monitor where they immediately saw data being transmitted and recorded. “Pulse, temperature, blood oxygen, and coordinates,” Tony muttered going down the list. “Works like a charm,” he looked very pleased with himself. 

“How are you feeling?” Steve asked urging (Y/n) to turn her head so he could look at her face. She was pale but overall fine. 

“Well, I don’t feel fantastic, but I’ll live. Not the worst thing I’ve had to deal with since meeting you,” she smirked and Steve rolled his eyes. 

“You’re the stubborn one who wouldn’t leave me alone when I said I was fine,” he countered with a smirk. 

“Alright you two, take the lovey-dovey stuff outside the lab. Important work to do here,” Tony shooed them away. Steve held his arm out for (Y/n) to hold onto which she gratefully accepted.

“Thanks, Tony. Bruce,” Steve gave each a nod. He would sleep easier knowing that if somehow HYDRA got to (Y/n) before they were fully prepared they would have a way to find her. “So what do you think? You still eager to start the moving process today?” Steve raised his eyebrows and laughed at the mild glare (Y/n) sent his way.

“We can plan today,” (Y/n) sighed, giving in that she wasn’t feeling well after being a pincushion. 

Steve walked her back to his apartment and the two sat on the couch while he picked up the phone. “Yes, I’d like to request a moving van,” Steve said letting (Y/n) lean back against him, flipping through channels on the TV on mute while he gave out the details of where and when the van should meet them to get (Y/n) moved to the tower officially. With a click, Steve hung up and looked down at (Y/n). “Excited to move here? Well, really move here?”

(Y/n) thought about it for a minute. This move signified much more than bringing her things over. It really meant the end of her days as a simple RN, leading a simple life. However, as much as she mourned the loss of her old life, this opened up a new world of experience for her—one she never thought she would have enjoyed or wanted. She had a chance to make a difference on a greater level than she had ever dreamed.

“Yes, I really am,” (Y/n) finally said and closed her eyes as Steve wrapped an arm around her shoulders.

“Tomorrow could be sketchy. Promise you’ll stay close to me?” Steve had worried about the move from her apartment to the tower. It would expose (Y/n) again to the outside world, but those were Fury’s orders. It was important that they get her back out in public, seen, appearing like a normal agent. They would have time between the first outside sighting of (Y/n) and when HYDRA would attack. They’d been careful and Steve took solace in that.

\--

“Sir? They’ll be at the apartment tomorrow at 9:00am. They’re moving her. No we haven’t seen her come or go. No one’s been to her apartment since Barton and Romanov,” the man hunched over the phone at his desk, eyes darting about the room. He was alone in one of the many administrative offices at the tower but he didn’t trust that he wouldn’t be overheard. “Yes, I’m sure. I don’t know how many will be there. Target will at least. I can man the moving crew with our agents. Understood, yes sir,” he hung up the phone and wiped a hand back through his hair. This would be a mess.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you thought! I can't wait to start working on the next chapter (actually I was just gonna make this one ginormous chapter but I couldn't wait to give you guys an update even if it isn't the most exciting chapter in the world). Things are coming... just you wait! 
> 
> Thank you guys so much for sticking with me through the scarce updates through the summer. You're the best and your feedback and support is just beyond words. You're incredible! Much love <3


	21. Change of Plans

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes I skipped over updating _Kidnapped_ because I had immediately started working on this chapter after posting the last one. The reason it took so long for me to finish it was because I kept going back over it and adding stuff, changing stuff -- I really wanted to get this chapter just right so I really really really hope you guys enjoy it!!

(Y/n) moved about her apartment placing post-it notes on everything that could be donated which included a vast majority of her furniture. Having moved and traveled across the country and back for work, the furniture she had amassed wasn’t high end and the few pieces she wanted to keep were either sentimental or ones she thought would complement her new space. Keeping her promise to Steve to stay close wasn’t difficult; it was just the two of them that morning packing clothes, DVDs, books and anything else (Y/n) wanted to bring to the tower in boxes. 

Steve had asked Natasha if she would mind coming at noon when the few staff that were supposed to help with moving boxes and furniture were to arrive. He would feel better if he had someone he trusted on the ground floor watching people as they came and went in the building.

(Y/n) was very efficient at packing while Steve was adept at distracting her. This was more insight into her past than the past few months combined and he couldn’t stem the tide of questions. 

“What are these?” Steve picked up a pile of letters and crudely drawn pictures. “Nieces and nephews?” he asked looking over to (Y/n). She walked over and took the pile from his hands carefully and leafed through the pages. 

“They’re thank you notes,” (Y/n) said with a faint smile. 

Steve looked over her shoulder at the illustrations. He couldn’t help but notice most of the scenes were filled with destruction in the background and the subjects were in splints and casts. The fact that they were smiling was some comfort. (Y/n) cleared her throat when she saw Steve watching her, waiting for her to elaborate.

“In the aftermath of the attack on New York,” she began slowly shuffling through the pages once more, “There weren’t just casualties among the citizens. A lot of hospital workers were hurt. That along with how many people needed to be hospitalized meant that there just weren’t enough doctors and nurses to go around.” 

Steve was visibly upset hearing this. He had known the full extent of the devastation. He had witnessed it, had lived it, and had done all he could to help. Seeing letter after letter and picture after picture was more tangible to the lives impacted than numbers and statistics though. 

“I was called in to help. That’s what the agency I worked for does – finds staff for hospitals that temporarily for some reason or another aren’t sufficiently staffed for their needs. Needless to say I was here for a long time. It’s why I got an apartment here. Then I just never left, kinda like it here,” (Y/n) winked at Steve to try and pull him out of his memories. “I spent a lot of time in the pediatric ward, hence all the drawings. Oh how they love to draw,” she laughed and flipped to an illustration of a number of the Avengers in addition to some doctors and nurses. “They would go on and on and on about you guys,” she smiled as Steve huffed out a small laugh. 

Steve stared at the picture for a long time before shifting his gaze to (Y/n). “Life after the attack was a battle all of its own. Half the public painted us as heroes while the other half blamed us for the casualties, the millions done in damage,” he sighed. 

(Y/n) set the pile down on the bare mattress and took both of Steve’s hands in hers. At the time she had actively avoided the news about the aftermath of the battle and the Avengers. To this day she was still trying to wrap her brain around the idea of aliens and other worlds. (Y/n) had thrown herself into her work, finding solace in the progress of her patients, particularly when she worked with the children. 

Parents had spoken with her and like Steve said the press had done, some villainized the Avengers while others praised them for their heroics. At the time (Y/n) simply nodded and let the parents and patients talk through what they had experienced. Since her time at the tower and with Steve, she suspected there was far more to that entire situation than the public could even dream about. 

“Everyone wants their pound of flesh, right?” (Y/n) sighed and Steve tilted his head and quirked an eyebrow. “You know,” (Y/n) started slowly, “I can’t tell you how many kids wanted me to draw ‘Captain America’s Shield’ on their casts,” she watched as Steve looked down and tried not to smile. “I became quite the expert at drawing that shield, I have it down to a science,” (Y/n) smirked when she saw Steve’s eyes crinkle as he finally smiled. 

“Nurse and artist, huh?” he laughed and (Y/n) nodded. Steve gave (Y/n) a brief hug and kissed the side of her head. (Y/n) was relieved to see him relax and the two moved on to the next part of her room. 

It was almost 1:00pm when Natasha finally showed up and knocked, sticking her head in the apartment. “(Y/n)? Steve? It’s Natasha,” she called out, announcing herself to avoid any unpleasantries involving Steve or his shield. 

“In here,” (Y/n) called out from her bedroom, as she shoved another sweatshirt into an overstuffed box. 

“You guys have made some serious progress,” Natasha stood in the door looking over the room. It looked like a tornado had passed through. “You taking everything?” She asked and leaned against the door. 

Luckily (Y/n)’s apartment was a small one to begin with. That coupled with the fact that her rooms over at the tower were larger and fully furnished meant she could avoid packing up the entirety of her life. 

“Absolutely not,” (Y/n) said quickly and laughed. “It’s a relief to be able to get rid of so many things - you have no idea,” she dragged out the last word in exaggeration. Steve chuckled from his corner as he taped another box shut. 

“Packing and moving in the same day is ambitious,” Natasha continued to watch the two work. “I don’t see why you just didn’t buy new things. You’re starting over, new life,” she shrugged.

(Y/n) laughed and shook her head. “No, can’t do that Natasha. How could you possibly find a replacement for this?” she asked holding up an old mug. It was chipped and the paint had faded but it was obviously well used and loved. “This thing got me through college, I’m not going anywhere without it,” Natasha made a face but (Y/n) picked up a necklace from her night stand as further proof. “This is a gift from my friend for being in her wedding, and this,” she leaned over to grab a book off of her shelf, “is one of my most treasured possessions. It’s irreplaceable – my first copy of (your favorite book).”

(Y/n) lovingly and oh so carefully flipped through the book. The spine was in horrible condition and pages were dangerously close to falling out. It was no longer readable but she couldn’t bring herself to throw it away; the book held so many memories. 

“Sentimental value, Natasha,” (Y/n) smiled and Natasha frowned thoughtfully as she considered (Y/n)’s argument. 

(Y/n) turned in a circle looking for where they had placed the rest of the empty boxes. She lifted a few scraps of newspaper and moved several small piles of odds and ends waiting for the remaining boxes to magically appear. 

“Boxes?” she asked offhandedly while she continued her search. Steve looked up and craned his neck, searching the room. 

“Think this was the last one, (Y/n/n),” he said taping the box together. 

(Y/n) sighed and walked to the door. “Walk me downstairs, Natasha?” she held out her arm playfully for Natasha to link her arms with hers. Natasha stared pointedly at (Y/n)’s arm then back up to meet her eyes and raised an eyebrow. “The movers were supposed to bring some extra, and I’m assuming since you’re here that they’ve arrived too?” Steve sat back on his heels and listened intently to the conversation. When Natasha’s eyes flicked in his direction he gave a slight nod. 

The arrangement for the day had been planned out meticulously the previous night. Natasha would man the front door to the apartment complex, watching for anything odd on the street and would set up vetted agents along the pathway down the hall and stairwell all the way to the entrance of (Y/n)’s apartment. Under other circumstances, the plans would have absolutely been overkill. As it was, Steve was frustrated he didn’t have more eyes on the building. 

Natasha begrudgingly linked her arm with (Y/n)’s with the enthusiasm of drenched cat. (Y/n) refused to give in and shot a quick in Nat’s direction. “So help me if you don’t smile I will make you skip until you do, Natasha Romanov,” (Y/n) met Natasha’s dagger glare with one of her own. She would never perfect Natasha’s glower, she accepted that but (Y/n) took the slight twitch of Natasha’s mouth into a smile as a victory.

“Natasha, everything’s in place?” Steve called out before (Y/n) and Nat could walk out the door. 

“Sir, yes, sir,” Natasha said over her shoulder. Her tone was light but when she met Steve’s eyes he knew she had done everything he asked and likely more. Their team wasn’t ready to face HYDRA, (Y/n) wasn’t ready, and they couldn’t take any risks. The fact that (Y/n) had wormed her way into the hearts of the team only strengthened their resolve.

A woman watched Natasha and (Y/n) walk out the door of the apartment and down the hall through the peephole in an apartment several doors down. She glanced back to the two men in the room with her busy situating two dead bodies in the closet. 

“They’re walking down now,” she said quietly over her shoulder.

“We don’t have much of a window. Be ready,” the leader of the three said, nodding for the woman to go out into the hall to take her place.

(Y/n) and Natasha made it down the three flights of stairs past agent after agent to the main floor where there was a stack of folded cardboard boxes waiting to be taped up. The agents were in street clothes but (Y/n) could tell the minor differences in the way they held themselves and the way they looked at the world around them. She was proud knowing that if Natasha had asked her, she could’ve said what weapons each were carrying and where – for most of them at least.

“Perfect,” (Y/n) said as she dropped Natasha’s arm and picked up the stack of boxes. Broken down and flattened as they were, she could carry quite a few and she tucked a stack under each arm. “So you’re staying here?” (Y/n) asked pushing through the door, holding it open with her back waiting for Natasha’s reply.

“Yea, just your standard bouncer,” she smirked and (Y/n) laughed. “Do you want me to walk back up with you? Steve probably would—“ Natasha started and (Y/n) shook her head. 

“We’ll just stick with the plan,” (Y/n) started to walk away but Natasha grabbed the door and leaned forward.

“It’s stupid, but text when you get up there?” There was genuine concern in Natasha’s voice. (Y/n) nodded.

“Yea, of course, Nat,” she said and made her way up the stairs. 

(Y/n) stopped several times along the way to shift the pile of boxes around to get a better grip. Even broken down and flat they were extremely awkward to carry. _Should’ve sent Steve to do this one,_ (Y/n) groaned inwardly. Seeing the 3 on the door of the stairwell was a relief as she opened the door and made her way down the hall to her door. 

She resisted the urge to acknowledge the strategically placed agents; (Y/n) felt more like she was playing some make believe spy game rather than actually having a small army out there to protect her. _Not just me, they went after Clint too. We all need to be careful,_ (Y/n)’s mind wandered to the strange interactions each of the Avengers had with HYDRA. 

Two doors away from her apartment, (Y/n) began to drop the boxes once more, cursing in frustration. Quickly, a woman stepped forward to help and (Y/n) gave her an embarrassed smile. She didn’t recognize the woman from the building and by the way she was standing, (Y/n) guessed she was just another one of the many working as protectors and lookouts today. 

(Y/n) opened her mouth to give the agent a proper “thank you,” but the words never left her mouth. A hand clamped a damp cloth over her mouth from behind at the same time she felt a sharp jab in her upper arm. She took in a breath to scream and before she could even register her mistake, (Y/n) began to stumble. Her vision swam and blurred and as she stepped forward to swing at the woman in front of her, two arms came up underneath hers to pull her backwards. 

As her legs gave way, the man supported (Y/n)’s weight, dragging her backwards now as her eyes fluttered shut. She tried desperately to keep them open, to focus on anything – anything besides the urge to sleep. Her words were slurred and muffled. By the time the man who had efficiently drugged (Y/n) had dragged her through a door on the hall opposite of (Y/n)’s apartment, she was completely unconscious.

The woman followed them through the door, slipping the boxes into the room before silently shutting the door. The two assailants worked wordlessly together. Within seconds, the door was dead bolted and (Y/n) was being carried to the back of the apartment to the fire escape. The pair was joined by a third man on the fire escape acting as lookout while they got (Y/n) down into the small alley behind the apartment building and into a waiting car. 

Once the car had pulled out and was being navigated through the streets, the man pulled out his phone.

“We’re on our way, be ready,” was all he said before slipping the phone back in his pocket. 

“How long do we have before she wakes up?” the woman asked, leaning forward to feel (Y/n)’s pulse. 

“It depends on whether she’s been enhanced or not,” the man said as he drove as inconspicuously as possible. When (Y/n)’s phone chimed that she had received a text, all eyes went to her. “Get it,” he ordered. 

_(Y/n)? You forget about me?_ the text from Natasha read. 

“Send her a response. Our window is narrow enough as it is,” the man said while the woman thought through what to text in response. 

_Never! Just got caught up with packing, sorry._ the woman typed in quickly before hitting send. 

“The Captain will notice she hasn’t returned soon,” she said glancing at her watch. They were already several blocks from the apartment but they desperately needed to pick up the pace to get out of a search radius when the Avengers realized one of their own was missing. 

“The drop off is just up here,” he looked straight ahead as they entered a parking garage. They drove past the few cars in the garage to a van. Quickly the three hopped out of the car and the two men picked (Y/n) up and heaved her through the open door of the dark van. In the back was another group though dressed in tactical gear. 

“Get back to the apartment and do what you can to throw them off once they realize the girl is gone,” the leader in the van ordered. The three undercover HYDRA agents nodded and left (Y/n) in their team’s hands. “Sweep her for bugs and tracking devices,” he ordered as the door was shut and the van drove out of the garage and towards the base. 

A shorter man with a dark complexion held out a device, running it up and down the length of (Y/n)’s body. He shook his head, “Looks like she’s clean,” he said, stuffing the device back into a pocket of his vest. 

“Keep the scrambler on just in case,” the leader said as another team member was binding (Y/n)’s hands and feet. “We have a long drive ahead of us,” he leaned back in one of the seats, his eyes never leaving (Y/n). She’d made HYDRA look like fools for the last time. He pulled out a phone and dialed. “We’ve got her, Sir. Thank you, Sir,” he said brusquely and closed the phone.

\--

Steve had just finished taping up the last filled box and carried it over to the growing pile of things to go by the door. They certainly were making progress. Once they carried these things down to the truck they’d have a better idea of exactly how much work there was left to do. Steve wiped the sweat from his forehead with his arm and leaned against the wall. The idea of (Y/n) moving to the tower permanently made his stomach flip. 

He thought back to when (Y/n) had started pulling all of her clothing out and tossing it onto her bed to fold and pack. Steve’s ears had started burning when he saw (Y/n)’s underwear and nightgowns thrown onto the pile. He flushed even more when she caught him staring at them. 

Instead of laughing and teasing him as she had all those weeks ago, Steve was pleased to see her blushing too. Things had certainly changed between them. While seeing her folding the underwear that had been bought for (Y/n) upon her initial arrival to the tower had been embarrassing simply because it was _women’s underwear_ , seeing what (Y/n) owned was much more personal. Judging by the way (Y/n) had chewed her lip with a shy smile she seemed to think so too. 

Steve found himself staring off at nothing, caught up in his daydreaming. He shook himself back to reality, licking his lips once, thinking about when he and (Y/n) would be able to get back to the tower. Part of him wanted to kiss her breathless as soon as she walked back through that door while the rest of him urged him to focus on their task of getting (Y/n)’s things packed and moved to the tower as soon as possible. _Back to the tower, get her officially moved in, shower, evening in,_ Steve began to daydream again.

Shaking his head, Steve leaned forward to pick up several of the packed boxes. _It’ll go quicker if I start taking things down now,_ he told himself.

Steve checked to make sure he still had (Y/n)’s apartment key in his pocket before he stepped out the door, pulling it shut behind him with his foot. He easily made it down the three flights of stairs, giving each agent a cursory once over on his way.

 

Natasha saw Steve walking out the front door and furrowed her brows. The last thing she’d expect was Steve to leave (Y/n) alone in her apartment regardless of how many precautions they’d taken. 

“Didn’t think I’d see you down here so soon,” Natasha said cautiously watching Steve. He set the boxes down on the sidewalk only to have the few members of the moving crew come up and whisk the boxes away towards the truck. “Is (Y/n) finishing up alone?” she asked. 

Steve froze and watched Natasha. “What do you mean? I thought you two had gotten caught up talking,” 

Natasha paled. “(Y/n) went back upstairs twenty minutes ago,” she pulled out her phone to check the time stamp on the reply text from (Y/n). “She texted me ten minutes ago that she got there.”

Steve turned on his heels and sprinted towards the stairs, Natasha keeping up as she shouted orders into the microphone concealed at her wrist. As Steve ran up the stairs he asked each agent he passed if (Y/n) had made it past them – each gave a nod. 

“Search the floor,” he gave the simple order and the agents immediately fell into action without comment. 

Steve’s chest was tight. He felt like he couldn’t breathe. _She stopped to talk to someone, she got distracted, there’s no way they could’ve found her already,_ he tried to convince himself over and over again. When he and Natasha arrived at the third floor, there was only the one agent in the stairwell. 

Natasha passed Steve one of her handguns as she motioned for the agent to follow them. “Sweep each room,” she said quietly to the agent. Steve had already kicked in the first door when Natasha whipped out her cell phone and called Stark. “Tony! Where does the device say (Y/n) is?” she asked without preamble. 

“What? Slow down, you lost (Y/n)?” he asked, “How is that even possible with the number of people surrounding that building?” 

“Where. Is. She. Stark?” Natasha passed the apartment Steve was checking to go to the next one. Putting her phone in her pocket and making sure the earpiece was firmly in place, she pulled out her handgun and kicked the door down, sweeping each room. 

“I don’t understand,” Stark mumbled into the phone. Natasha heard furious keystrokes in the background as he searched for the signal. “There’s some kind of interference. All I can get is a 10 mile radius right now,” his voice was beginning to sound alarmed. He’d tested and retested this device. Stark’s brain was racing between hardware malfunction and what might cause this level of interference. “Lead, EMP, …” he started mumbling.

“Stark! Focus. Where was her last location,” Natasha quickly brought him back to task as she finished clearing the apartment. She heard Tony typing once more as she kicked down the next door. 

The first thing she noticed was a stack of flat cardboard boxes thrown haphazardly in the entryway. Cautiously she opened the first door she came to – a hallway closet. She swore as soon as she opened the door seeing two bodies. Natasha leaned down, pressing two fingers to each of the agents’ necks, checking for a pulse. Steve came in behind her having checked the last apartment on the floor and saw Natasha standing over the bodies. Without a word he turned and put his fist through the wall. 

“Stark, I need that location…” Natasha said as she finished clearing the apartment. 

“Parking garage, 5 blocks over. I’m pulling up their security footage now.” Stark stood at the computer and pulled up the last half hour of footage, fast forwarding until he saw something of value. “There,” he said out loud, slowing the video feed. It showed the car pulling up to the van, but the van blocked most of the activity. He could just make out a person being man handled into the van. “Someone’s got her,” his voice was a mixture of dejection and rage. 

“Text me the address, Steve and I will check it out. See what you can do from your end,” Natasha said and tugged Steve’s sleeve and nodded towards the door. He followed but leaned close to Natasha’s earpiece. 

“Figure out where she is, Stark. Now,” Steve said through gritted teeth before racing down the stairs. 

“We’ll find her, Steve. We knew this would have to go down sometime,” Natasha tried to calm him as they jumped into her car. 

“I won’t let her get hurt,” he said. Natasha floored the gas pedal, accelerating into traffic. 

In minutes they were at the garage. There was no car, no van, no (Y/n). 

“Damnit!” Steve shouted when they reached the area Tony had described from the video feed. He kept looking around the empty lot, desperate for any clue. 

“We’ll find her, Steve,” Natasha said and opened the door to her car. “We need to regroup, let’s go,” she opted out of coddling the distraught man, giving him a mission to focus on. “Steve!” she said firmly. “Let’s go,” he finally snapped out of his fruitless search and jumped in. 

The entire ride back Steve was the picture of silent fury. His jaw clenched, his hands balled into fists, he couldn’t help but imagine what HYDRA might do to (Y/n). She wasn’t ready. He didn’t think he’d ever think of her as ready for this kind of an assignment and he’d never forgive himself if anything happened to her. 

“I’m going to kill every last one of those HYDRA sons of bitches,” he vowed. Natasha didn’t doubt him for a second.

\--

“Who are you?” (Y/n) slurred as she was held by either arm and dragged through one damp concrete hallway after another.

“I’m pretty sure you have a good idea,” a voice to her right said vaguely. 

He didn’t lower himself to any further conversation with her, pointedly ignoring any further questions or statements (Y/n) made. She finally gave up and let her body go slack, unable to make her legs work. The two simply continued to drag her until they came to an empty cell. (Y/n) became more alert at the sight of the iron bars and windowless concrete room, struggling to remain free. She was stilled with a swift kick to her knee from one of the men, and unceremoniously tossed into the cell which was locked behind her. (Y/n) didn’t even bother dragging herself to the cot in the corner, content to lie on the hard cold floor. She tried to retrace the twists and turns through the corridors that led down to her cell to no avail. Even if she were to escape this cell, it would take ages to get out. (Y/n) resisted the urge to run her fingers over where the tracking device lay below her skin. She could only hope and pray that it would lead the others to her and soon.

\--

“Mission was a success, Sir. We’ve got her in a cell, she’s just starting to come around from the sedative.” The mission leader said to his commander. The two were watching (Y/n) in the cell as she slowly became more alert.

“Excellent. Throw the Asset in with her. He should be waking up shortly as well,” the commander looked pleased with the progress they had made that day. (Y/n) had eluded him for too long, making him look the fool to his superiors. He wouldn’t forgive her for that any time soon. Finding out her secrets were his top priority – she had spent weeks holed up with the Avengers at the tower, she was a veritable gold mine of information.

“Sir, is putting them together in the same cell wise? He hasn’t been wiped yet, he’s barely thawed, he’ll know who he is and there’s no way she won’t recognize him—“ his subordinate began to protest. With a heavy sigh the commander stared at his soldier with thinly veiled contempt.

“What better way to get information out of her? Do you really think she won’t tell him about the Captain when he asks? We’ll get as much information as we can then pull him, wipe him, and finish the interrogation per standard protocol.” 

“But sir—“ the mission leader started but was interrupted when he saw another man dragging the Asset along the concrete corridor towards (Y/n)’s cell. 

“Why does he have a black eye…?” the commander said thoughtfully. 

When the commander was only met with silence, his gaze swept the room filled with monitors, high level HYDRA officers and technicians. Finally a timid man in a tie spoke up.

“He was rather combative when he woke up. The guards put him down quickly – his body temperature is still very low so he was easy to subdue,” he said and quickly swallowed against the dryness in his mouth and throat. The commander had walked over and was standing over the smaller man. 

“And his post cryo treatments?” the commander asked simply.

“Complete, sir,”

“Good,” the man said, and stared over the technician’s shoulder at the monitor showing (Y/n)’s cell. “Very good,” he folded his arms and watched as the cell was unlocked and the Asset was shoved into the room. 

\--

(Y/n) stood on wobbly feet when she heard a commotion coming down the hall. She searched the room desperately for something to use as a weapon when three men came into view followed by six more heavily armed men. Stopped dead in her tracks she could only watch as the man behind held up by two others began to struggle.

“I’ll kill all of you! Nazi sons of bitches!” he shouted and thrashed against the men who held him. His voice was not nearly as strong as his words and he had a difficult time staying on his feet. 

(Y/n) backed away from the door. There was no way she’d make it more than two steps with this many guards. She did her best to hold herself straight though when they stopped at her cell, the men must’ve seen the confusion on her face. One holding onto the struggling prisoner smirked at (Y/n) while one of the six unlocked the door. Their prisoner was shoved far into the cell, stumbling and falling on his face while the cell door was quickly closed and locked once more. 

“Don’t hurt her too much,” one of the men said over his shoulder as he walked away.

The man remained on the floor, unable to get up. (Y/n) took a cautious step closer to him. The words _don’t hurt her too much_ echoed in her mind but concern for the man who was obviously in distress pushed her onward. 

(Y/n) slowly knelt next to the man, not risking any sudden movements. He had no shirt on, and the first thing she noticed was his metal arm. She’d never seen a prosthesis like it. Laying on his stomach, his arms at his side, his long dark hair was splayed around him, hiding his face. He was shivering uncontrollably. 

“Oh my God,” she muttered as she put her hand to the middle of his back. His skin was freezing. He must be hypothermic. He groaned at the feeling of the warmth of her hand on his back. “If he doesn’t warm up his heart’s gonna stop,” (Y/n) continued to mumble her train of thought out loud. She could barely function even with the drugs slowly making her way out of her system. 

Forcing her hand and body to work, (Y/n) pushed the man onto his side and grabbed his arms, slowly but surely dragging him over to the cot. “Come on, work with me here. Get up off the concrete.” The man grunted but slowly began to comply. 

With (Y/n)’s help, the man dragged himself onto the small cot and (Y/n) immediately pulled the blanket up over his body. The tremors wracking the poor man got even worse, she knew they would until his temperature got back to normal. She looked around the bare room desperately for something else to help warm him. No sink, no other blanket, no nothing. Gritting her teeth she lifted the blanket and lay down next to him, pulling his body tight up against hers. He groaned and pulled his arms into his chest while she wrapped her arms around him. 

“Sorry, I don’t know how else to get you warm,” (Y/n) said quietly. His hair was damp and bits of frost still clung to him, melting with the slowly increasing temperature. She placed her fingers along his neck, feeling for his pulse. Surprisingly, for how cold he was, it was strong and the rate was good.

“Can’t complain,” he said through chattering teeth. “Been too long since I held a dame,” he tried but failed to laugh. (Y/n) didn't point out that it was in fact she who was holding _him_.

_Dame_ (Y/n) raised an eyebrow and shook her head. She pushed the damp hair out of the man’s face, trying to keep as much of the cold away from his skin as possible. As soon as she saw his face she froze. 

“Holy shit,” she gasped and leaned back away from him. “Ohh holy shit…” she said again. 

“Such language from a lady,” he stared blankly at her. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost,” he added genuinely curious at her reaction.

“I think I just did,” (Y/n) whispered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So what did you think of THAT? 
> 
> Alright, I'll explain some headcannon that I'm using for this story that I read somewhere (I forgot where but I fell in love with the concept). Please let me know what you thought of this chapter! I've been waiting so long to get to move this plot along and I'm super super excited and I hope you are too! 
> 
> You guys are amazing and I cannot thank you enough for all the support you give me from comments to subscriptions to kudos... you are the best. Whether you're just coming in and joining this story or have been following from the beginning, thank you from the bottom of my heart! Much love <3


	22. Unexpected Ally

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG what is this!?!? A Chapter Update? FINALLY!! Okay I profusely apologize that it's taken me THIS long to post an update. I got on a roll with "Kidnapped" and so this got put on the back burner. But it's back! I really really hope you guys enjoy this chapter, I've been planning it out for a good long time. Things are getting more intense! That being said -- Trigger Warning for Violence/Torture.

**Trigger Warnings** -- Torture/Violence   
(Y/n) immediately regretted waking up. Her whole body hurt and her head felt as if it were being smashed into a million tiny pieces. _They’ve got to pick a better sedative_ she groaned. Tears pricked at her eyes as she thought about just how in over her head she was. (Y/n) thought she was prepared, thought she had done everything she could to train, but when it came down to it she was overcome by a simple needle.

“Steve,” she whimpered, “I’m so sorry.” (Y/n) tried to pull her knees up to her chest but was blocked. She had nearly forgotten the other man who she was sharing the pathetic cot with. 

_Dear lord, is this really happening?_ (Y/n) thought as she slowly opened her eyes to see a Sergeant James Barnes in front of her. He looked nothing like his pictures in the history book, but after studying the album Steve had shown her, there was no mistaking the man in front of her. 

James’ eyes were open and he chuckled grimly when he was sure (Y/n) was awake. “You know, my best friend’s name is Steve.” His voice was melancholy as he recalled good times before the war tore apart their friendship. 

(Y/n) simply stared dumbfounded at the man in front of her. The man she was pressed up against. He was no longer shivering but he still looked exhausted. The hollows under his eyes were dark, and one eye had a nasty bruise. The rest of him looked fit and healthy but he was pale. 

“Jeez, you’re makin’ me feel bad, doll. What’s with the stare?” he asked, apparently as comfortable as ever shirtless lying beside a woman who was crying for some other man. 

“Umm, you’re… you’re dead,” was all (Y/n) could force herself to say. James laughed and rolled his eyes.

“No, I can assure you I’m not,” he sighed and then began to sit up, taking the blanket with him to keep around his shoulders. “What year is it?” he asked, changing gears so quickly (Y/n)’s head spun.

“Year?”

“Yea, how long have I been under this time?” James leaned back against the wall, letting his head fall backwards. “Month? Year? Decade?” His level of concern or lack thereof alarmed (Y/n). What could this man possibly be talking about.

“It’s… it’s 2015,” she waited for his reaction but only saw him purse his lips thoughtfully. 

“Just a couple of years this time,” he said to himself. James finally registered (Y/n)’s shocked expression and grinned. “I take it from your current predicament you’re either here to assist me, you’ve managed to piss off a very bad crowd, or you’re my next assignment?” he asked and (Y/n) just shook her head. How could she even begin to explain what was going on? James leaned his head forward waiting expectantly for an answer. “Do you even know why you’re here? Who I am?” He prompted her but (Y/n) just took a deep breath.

“Yeah, Bucky, I know who you are,” she mumbled and let her head rest against the concrete wall she was pressed against. James froze and looked (Y/n) over once again, more carefully this time. 

“No one here calls me Bucky,” he said warily. 

(Y/n) looked at her hands in her lap and smiled sadly. “No, no one here would,” she said quietly. “Steve told me about you,” she whispered. In an instant James was leaning forward, holding (Y/n)’s shoulders square so he could look her in the eye. 

“You had better not be messing with my head,” he let the threat hang in the air while (Y/n) stared hopelessly. 

“I’m not,” (Y/n) said and finally met James’ eyes. 

The two stared at one another for a long time, trying to take in such drastic information, trying to make sense of the world they found themselves in. 

“How?” he worked his jaw, trying to get his mind to form a cohesive thought. “The serum?” James finally asked and (Y/n) shrugged and nodded.

“He was in the ice for 70 years. His plane went down in the war, he said it was the only way,” (Y/n) sighed and watched James take his hands off her shoulder and run them through his hair. 

“Steve? Steve Rogers? Captain America?” James recited the litany of titles and (Y/n) nodded. “How do you know him? You aren’t military,” he said giving her an accusatory glare.

“He’s in SHIELD, leads the Avengers. I’m—I’m an agent,” she forced herself to say. 

(Y/n) wanted so badly to trust James and believe that somehow against every odd she had found an ally on the inside of this hell. Steve told her to trust no one. Would he have said the same thing if he knew his best friend of all time was inside the organization he fought so desperately against? 

“That’s not all you are to him though, is it?” James held her with an unwavering stare. Instead of answering, (Y/n) took slow breaths and stared blankly back at James. The two stayed like that, testing one another’s resolve, measuring out the others’ strengths and weaknesses. “You’re his girl, aren’t you?” James’ voice was softer now and a look of nostalgia passed over his face. (Y/n) lifted her chin almost imperceptivity but James saw. “I’ll take care of you, doll,” he said quietly and opened his arm for (Y/n) to come sit with him. “I’ll make sure you get back to him and that you make it out of this hell hole,” he sighed and kept both of them warm with the one blanket. 

(Y/n) chose to believe him. She didn’t see how he could possibly get her to freedom if he’d been here this entire time. That was the only explanation, HYDRA had him all along. Still, she clung to the hope that Sergeant Barnes, Howling Commando and best friend to Steve Rogers would get her to safety. Her thoughts went briefly to her search and rescue team. (Y/n) still had a job to do now that she was on the inside of HYDRA. She still had intel to collect, a mission of her own, one that she couldn’t share, even with this man. 

It wasn’t long before the loud bang of a door followed by the sound of many booted feet shook (Y/n) back to reality. James was alert now, leaning forward and looking down the hall. His shoulders stiffened and he turned back to grab (Y/n) by the shoulders.

“Look at me, I know this cell is bugged but listen carefully,” he waited until she gave a quick nod. “I don’t know who you are to them or what they want with you but I know you’re not giving me the whole story.” When (Y/n) glanced quickly to the side, James raised an eyebrow as if that one gesture confirmed all of his suspicions. “Listen—you can’t show them any weakness. They’ll latch onto it and break you before you know it,” his voice was hard as he held her stare. (Y/n)’s eyes widened and her breathing quickened. “That’s what I mean. Whatever you do, _don’t_ let them see you afraid. Do you hear me? I won’t be there to help you. You obviously have something they want and if they want it you can’t give it to them. Do whatever you have to do, go wherever you have to go in your mind, but don’t you dare break, (Y/n), you hear me?” he gave her shoulders a quick shake and she swallowed and gave a nod. 

The seriousness in James’ tone scared (Y/n) to the bone and she had to force herself back to the composure an agent would have. How many times had she had to hide her fear in a situation? How many times had she seen a patient deteriorate before her eyes only to have to put on her best poker face and assure them that she would take care of them? How many times had she had to push her fear aside while in a room full of doctors and other nurses working furiously to save someone bleeding out in front of her very eyes? (Y/n) may not be an agent but she had been doing this for years. She could do it. She had to do it. 

James saw the change in (Y/n)’s demeanor and he gave her another once over before giving his nod of approval. The footsteps were getting closer. He didn’t have time to tell her anything more so he just squeezed her shoulders and sat back against the concrete. HYDRA would’ve seen him talking to her ahead of time on whatever cameras were surrounding the room but it was worth it to help her prepare just that much more. He didn’t know who or what she really was, but he was certain she had no idea what she was really in for. 

“I’ll be here when they bring you back, I’ll take care of you,” he whispered before a group of six HYDRA agents came into view. One unlocked the cell while the other five had guns trained on James. He affected a look of apathy and remained stock still while the first man came in and grabbed (Y/n)’s arm, wrenching her out of the cell. James’ eyes went to hers one last time as if to remind her of everything he had just told her. 

True to her promise, (Y/n) took one deep breath and walked, head held high between the six agents. She was truly alone in this. _Steve and the others will find me. Natasha won’t give up, she promised_ (Y/n) went through all the reasons she had to have hope over and over again. 

(Y/n) was paraded by cell after cell. She heard groans and screams and while the rational part of her mind demanded she keep her eyes directly in front of her, she couldn’t help but glance at the other prisoners. Her eyes widened imperceptibly. What _were_ they? Some were obviously human but many were disfigured beyond any medical rationale (Y/n) could think of. One man stood at least 8 feet tall, but his skin was blistered, cracking. As she passed his cell, head radiated outward and she could feel her skin burn slightly. What the hell was happening here? 

Another man lay curled up on his side, all the pigment of his skin gone; even his irises were white as he looked up at her passing. She couldn’t make out his pupils and couldn’t imagine how he could see but his head tracked her movements as she passed. (Y/n) forced her eyes forward once more. The agents were surely taking in her reaction to passing such horrible sights. 

To (Y/n)’s surprise, she was only taken to the other end of the hallway from her cell. The first agent threw her into a new cell, filled with several other HYDRA agents, all holding guns, all standing at ease while she was seated in a chair and strapped down. (Y/n) had to take slow deep breaths to keep from panicking as her hands were bound tightly to the arms of the chair and her ankles were shackled to the floor. 

A lab technician stepped forward and put an IV into her arm. When he put on a set of gloves and brought out an IV kit, (Y/n) grit her teeth: there was no way they were injecting her with anything. She did everything she could to keep him from being able to get a line in her – she tensed her muscles, twitched her arm as soon as he found a vein and began to put the IV in. (Y/n) was successful for a long time until the tech looked over at one of the HYDRA men. Without preamble, the man stepped forward and punched her in the face. (Y/n)’s vision waivered and her head lolled to the side. She couldn’t feel her body while the room spun and she fought to stay conscious. It only took those few moments for the tech to get the IV in place and draw several vials of blood. He left the port in and (Y/n) was almost sick thinking of the reasons why. 

(Y/n) sat and waited, surrounded as she was by HYDRA agents. She had no choice, there was no getting out of her bonds, and Natasha hadn’t gotten to teach her the finer points of escape. Even so, she still had her mission and she’d be damned to have gotten this far only to escape without any new information. The minutes ticked by and (Y/n) had to convince herself that she hadn’t been waiting there hours. 

From time to time she’d hear shuffling behind her, metal clinking, and the loud clash of the cell door being opened and closed repeatedly as people came and went. (Y/n) was nearly about to scream for someone to just do something already when she felt a hand on her shoulder. If it weren’t for the restraints she would’ve jumped clear out of her chair. She looked up to see an older man with graying hair smiling down at her, obviously pleased with her reaction.

“I believe introductions are in order,” he said pleasantly though his smile made (Y/n)’s stomach churn. 

“I wouldn’t be here if you didn’t already know me,” (Y/n) replied flatly, forcing impassivity to her face. The older man chuckled and patted her shoulder.

“True enough,” he chuckled and took two steps, squaring himself in front of (Y/n). 

“And you are?” (Y/n) asked raising an eyebrow. She was impressed with how casual her tone came across. Perhaps she had been spending just a little too much time with Natasha. 

The man stared at her, his gaze making (Y/n) uncomfortable. (Y/n) forced herself to stare back, she wouldn’t be the first one to break, certainly not in something as simple as a stare down. He pursed his lips and then let a smile come to his face. She _amused_ him, (Y/n) thought, bristling, 

“You can call me, Commander,” he said simply and then stepped out of her line of sight once more. (Y/n) resisted the urge to turn her head to follow him. Now was the time she had to show the most strength. “Answer my questions and you can return to your cell,” he said and (Y/n) closed her eyes. “Resisting will only make life harder for you, I’ll have my answers either way by the end of this,” his voice was too kind for the meaning behind his words. “Am I understood?”

(Y/n) remained silent, finding a spot on the concrete wall in front of her to focus on. She cried out when her head was yanked back painfully, the Commander having grabbed a fistful of her hair. (Y/n)’s chest heaved as she grit her teeth in anger. 

“I said, ‘am I understood,’ “ he said calmly. (Y/n) still refused to give into his game and refused to meet his eyes. The Commander quickly backhanded her at her continued silence. “I told you, you’re only making life harder for yourself. This is no burden on me,” his voice gave (Y/n) chills. 

“I don’t have anything to tell you, information or otherwise,” she said feeling a trickle of blood trail down her cheek. A quick glance at his hand showed several large rings. 

“Ah, but how do you know what I want to know?” he smiled and stood in front of (Y/n) once more.

“You’re HYDRA, I work for SHIELD, sometimes with the Avengers. I’m not an idiot. I don’t have any information about them—SHIELD is very… compartmentalized,” (Y/n) said after considering her words. 

The Commander folded his arms. This woman was going to be very enjoyable to work with. “Right now, you’re the one I’m most interested. I’d assume you’re familiar at least with your own doings?” he raised an eyebrow. When (Y/n) just stared blankly at him he laughed. “What is your purpose within SHIELD?” his smile was finally gone, leaving a cold, stern face in its wake.

“Since you know my name and that I’m with SHIELD you should already know that,” she spat out. The Commander quickly backhanded her again and (Y/n) felt the muscles in her neck strain as her head whipped to the side. She took several deep breaths before looking back up at the imposing man. “Don’t tell me you can’t figure out a deep cover operative when you see the records,” she intentionally let herself slip. She saw the man’s mouth twitch with the satisfaction of thinking he’d already made her slip up.

“And you’re involvement with the Avengers then would be…?” he asked standing relaxed in front of her. (Y/n) glared up at him. 

“Oh I don’t know, it might have something to do with HYDRA putting out random attacks throughout the city?” she shrugged, letting her sarcasm get the better of her. The man just stepped forward, leaning down with a hand on either arm rest of (Y/n)’s chair.

“Not just anyone gets to work directly with the Avengers. They’re all either enhanced, specially trained assassins, or have special black op military experience. Which one are you?” he raised an eyebrow and (Y/n) watched him with a blank stare. The Commander knew he had her. “See, I’ve worked with my share of assassins and military experts to know one when I see one and honey, you’re not one,” he smirked. “Enhanced it is,” he stepped back and watched as things began to click in (Y/n)’s mind. 

The tech came back and this time he began taking cheek swabs, hair samples, and skin scrapings from (Y/n). She grimaced and tried to pull away each time he came to collect another sample. The tech brought over a long metal probe and placed it over her right side after coating her in betadine. She flinched away from his touch but instantly there was a HYDRA agent on her other side holding her in place. The punch biopsy made her cry out, the lack of anesthesia made her nearly pass out. 

“We’ll find out more about your enhancements as we have more sessions,” the Commander said after she was roused with a bucket of cold water. “Who was it that performed the procedures on you? Who is actively working on new enhancements within SHIELD?” he asked. 

(Y/n) finally had a question that no matter what, she couldn’t respond to. It was a relief in one sense, terrifying in another. When she remained silent, the Commander punched her in the stomach, near where they had just done the biopsy. She could barely pull in a breath. He nodded to someone behind her and a tray was brought forward. 

The commander picked up a knife and slowly pushed it into (Y/n)’s upper arm. In her subconscious, (Y/n) was impressed at his ability to pick a spot that wouldn’t hit any of her major blood vessels though that thought only lasted a split second before a cry tore from her throat. 

“Give me a name, (Y/n),” he said and she glared at him. 

Without preamble he did the same to her other arm, and then each of her thighs. The puncture wounds from the knife were small but that didn’t lessen their pain. (Y/n) bit her cheek so hard she tasted blood and her body was beginning to shake. The Commander decided traditional techniques would be more effective later. To (Y/n)’s surprise, he unfastened her bonds and grabbed her arm, tossing her to the floor behind her chair.

With a nod from the Commander, several men stepped forward after handing their massive guns off to their counterparts. (Y/n) pushed herself to her feet, her legs shaky underneath her. As one man approached and swung, she ducked and forced her elbow forward into his sternum, sending him back a step. He grinned and swept his leg forward, knocking (Y/n) to the ground once more. She forced herself to stand again, but as soon as her feet were under her, a man from behind kicked her square in the back, sending her flying forward on her face. Her head connected with the concrete with a devastating crack.

“You son of a bitch,” she growled and rolled over to see him stalking towards her. When he swung his leg back to kick her, (Y/n) rolled quickly to the side, grabbing it and continued to roll, forcing his leg under her and him to the ground. She knelt over him and landed two punches to his face before another man grabbed her arms from behind and dragged her backwards. They held her as the other men took turns beating her from head to toe. 

Before she could lose consciousness, the Commander held up a hand and came to stand in front of her once more. “Name, (Y/n),” was all he said. 

(Y/n) took a ragged breath and her head drooped forward. The Commander lifted her chin in his hand and leaned in. “Name!” he shouted and (Y/n) spat in his face earning her another backhand. She wasn’t enhanced, how could she give them a name? A project for further human augmentation hadn’t even been brought up around her, not that she would ever be trusted with that level of information being an ordinary citizen. These people would never be able to get what they sought out of her which was comforting at least.

The Commander could see he wasn’t getting anywhere with his current question. It was time to change things for now. “What is your enhancement? Why are you so valuable to the Avengers that they would keep your file so deeply hidden for so many years?” he asked and waited for her answer. 

“Told you,” she said between wheezes. “Deep cover operative, hidden files go with the territory,” (Y/n) groaned as the man holding her grabbed her hair and made her look the Commander in the eye. (Y/n) immediately thought of Steve. He was the reason, as the Commander put it, that she was valuable to the Avengers. That and her insight to HYDRA’s attack pattern. He saw the slight worry pass over her face.

“No… no there’s more, and you’re going to tell me,” he smirked and walked to the table, pulling the sheet back further to reveal several new instruments. He heated one end of a metal poker up with a blowtorch. “I suggest telling me before this finishes heating up,” his glare darkened and (Y/n) stared while the end of the poker began to glow a dull red and then white hot. 

_Don’t you dare say a word, (Y/n), they’ll use you to get to Steve, to the rest of them, to Steve, think of Steve,_ she thought over and over again. 

“This serves two purposes,” the Commander said while he continued his work at the table. “One, I get answers that I need, two, I get to see how your particular enhancements impact healing. Or if I can force you to use them against me or anyone in this room. Of course once some of the tests come back we’ll know more, but for now, trial and error will have to suffice,” he said walking towards her with the poker.

“Damnit I’m not enhanced!” (Y/n) shouted as he raised the poker to her right side. 

“Why don’t I believe that? I already told you sweetheart, process of elimination,” he smirked and placed the hot poker to her side. Her shirt burned away around the metal instantly and the smell of burning flesh filled the room instantly along with her screams. (Y/n) thrashed against the men holding her still while the Commander held the white hot rod against her, moving it here and there sometimes in lines, sometimes just holding it in one spot. By the fifth burn, (Y/n) felt her eyes getting heavy. She was so so tired… so tired, and her eyes began to flutter closed. The Commander sighed and tossed the metal poker to the metal table and stalked away.

“Tell Smith the first round of questioning was only partially successful. The Nemesis Task is still a go unless I find something that contradicts moving forward,” he said as the cell door clashed shut behind him. “Take her back to her cell … and her cell mate,” he chuckled and (Y/n) was dragged down the hall. Her last thought was what on earth a Nemesis Task was.

James saw (Y/n) being dragged down the hallway and ran to the bars against his better judgement. “What the hell did you do to her!” he’d only heard a few screams down the hall and had been thinking about how impressed he was with how (Y/n) had been doing. He hoped against all hope that they’d taken it easier on her than when he was first there. When he saw her come into view he realized he had been wrong.

“Get back Soldier,” one man growled pointed a gun at James. 

“You won’t shoot me,” James threatened and stepped forward. Instantly the agent pulled the trigger and a dart went flying into James’ upper right arm. He staggered and then was on the floor a second later, the room spinning all around him. 

(Y/n) was tossed haphazardly on the floor where she lay as unconsciousness finally, blessedly, took her. James lay there watching (Y/n) from his spot on the ground a few feet away, unable to make his muscles cooperate. The sound of the HYDRA agents faded into the distance, leaving the two alone in the cell once more. It took a solid half hour for the effects of the tranquilizer to wear off of James. As soon as he was able, he crawled over to where (Y/n) lay, worry overtaking him as he saw her unresponsive.

“(Y/n)? (Y/n) I need you to stay with me,” James said as he bent over (Y/n)’s body sprawled out across the floor. He lightly patted her cheek until he saw her eyes open slightly. “There she is,” he smiled though it didn’t reach his eyes. 

“No broken bones,” he thought, _yet at least,_. (Y/n) winced in pain and tried to get up but James held her where she was. He looked around desperately for some way to minimize her discomfort and at least care somewhat for her wounds but there was only so much he could do in a cell with only a blanket and a cot.

With all he had seen HYDRA do, James was still shocked with the level of violence they had managed to reach. It was only the first of many sessions he was sure (Y/n) would face. He knew their methods, had even used them. She wouldn’t last long without rescue.

James carefully lifted (Y/n) and carried her to the cot. He ignored her cry of pain as he set her across his lap, leaning against the concrete wall. (Y/n) was in rough shape but for now she’d be alright. One of her eyes was rapidly bruising and swelling and her lip was split. Her burns were only too obvious against the pale skin of her torso and too visible through her singed shirt. He could see the bruises developing quickly across her arms, legs and torso. They’d done a number on her for a first session of questioning. Something inside of James twisted at the sight.

“You’ll be alright, (Y/n). If there’s one thing I know about Steve it’s that he won’t back down from a fight. He won’t leave you here, he’d never leave his girl,” he said though (Y/n) was slipping back to unconsciousness. He didn’t dare give words to the glimmer of hope that maybe, just maybe, he would be rescued too—that Steve just might find him and against all odds rescue him from HYDRA’s clutches once again.

\--

“You guys said you’d be able to track this thing no matter what,” Steve said through gritted teeth while Tony and Bruce stared at the giant screen in front of them. Each was tapping at different icons or typing away furiously trying to narrow down a search radius.

“It _should_ be working, Steve, the signal this thing puts out is stronger than any other tracker I’ve ever made,” Tony said.

It had been nearly 24 hours since they had first realized (Y/n) had been abducted and none of the team had slept. Bruce was clearly nervous as he looked at the stats coming across the screen. He had seen (Y/n)’s heart rate and oxygen levels fluctuate drastically over the past few hours. Natasha had seen his nervousness but when he finally looked at her he shook his head and looked pointedly to Steve who was busy berating Tony for his faulty design. Natasha nodded. Something was definitely wrong but Steve was already beside himself. They needed him as calm and collected as possible if they were going to be able to work together to get (Y/n) home in one piece. 

“My design is fine, it’s something on the other end, Cap,” Tony said absently as he scratched his head. “Jarvis, run another diagnostic,” he said and chewed on her thumbnail. “They’ve got to have her in some kind of bunker. Lead walls maybe? Or some kind of EMP scrambler,” he sighed and shoved at a stack of papers sending them flying. “Damnit,” he leaned forward on the table. 

If something happened to (Y/n) he wouldn’t forgive himself. As much as he hated to admit it that petit spunky nurse had made her way into his heart. He looked up at Steve who’s glare had abated ever so slightly at seeing Tony’s distress. 

“We’ll find her,” Natasha said putting her hand on Tony’s shoulder and looking at Steve. “Jarvis can keep running analyses and diagnostics. The rest of us need to get at least a few hours of sleep.” Steve began to protest but Natasha held him in a hard stare. “None of us will be any good to her if we’re so tired we can’t even stand,” she said looking pointedly at Steve and then Tony.

Steve thought about arguing but one more look from Natasha and he knew she was right. “Jarvis, wake us all if you managed to pinpoint (Y/n)’s location. Or if you can narrow it down, or if it moves… just tell us if _anything_ changes,” he ordered. 

“Yes, Mr. Rogers,” Jarvis replied and Natasha ushered Steve and Tony out of the lab. 

“Sleep, I’ll be along in a minute,” she said and the two nodded and made their way to their rooms. Natasha closed the lab door and walked back to Bruce. “Tell me what you saw,” she said quietly.

Bruce looked hesitant but he brought up (Y/n)’s vitals once more. Natasha looked over them and shook her head. She didn’t need anyone to tell her what the data meant. (Y/n) was in distress of some kind or another and it didn’t take a genius to guess what she was going through.

“They’re torturing her already,” her voice was barely above a whisper. Bruce just shook his head. “We can’t tell Steve, he can barely think enough as it is. He’s too close to this situation, to (Y/n),” she was worried about her new friend but she’d seen Steve with her. He was head over heels for her. Natasha stared at the data points one more time before she and Bruce left the lab. 

“We’ll find her, Nat,” Bruce squeezed her arm before he turned to head to his room. 

“I know we will,” Natasha whispered, more to herself. _But what shape are we going to find her in?_ she thought and flopped onto her bed, her alarm set to give her four hours of sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What'd you think??? Please let me know how you liked the chapter! Your comments keep me going and I honestly could not have asked for a better following than you guys! You are so encouraging and loving and ah! Hugs for all of you! What would you like to see? Something specific? I may work it into the plot I have, or you never know, you could inspire me in a whole new way to write some upcoming chapters!! It has happened! Just your encouragement gives me motivation to keep writing. You're honestly the best! Much love <3


	23. Nemesis Task

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warnings: More Violence, More Torture 
> 
> *Winces* I love you all?? Promise??

(Y/n) had been taken from James for interrogation three more times over the past 2 days. Each time the questions were the same. Who was working on more enhancements? How far had they gotten? Which team members were given what? What compounds were being used? (Y/n) was relieved to not have the answers to any of these questions. It made it that much easier to deny them their answers. 

The Commander was getting fed up; his scientists were failing at each turn. For the Nemesis Task to be successful they needed new data, new technology and (Y/n) was going to give it to them before she died. 

“Sir we have the test results back, she’s not enhanced,” the tech looked around nervously as he gave (Y/n)’s file over to the Commander. 

The man flipped through the pages furiously. This little brat had been nothing but a pain in his side from the moment they discovered her existence. He slammed the folder down on the table and walked over to where (Y/n) was strapped to the chair, head hanging forward. He grabbed (Y/n)’s hair at the nape of her neck and yanked her head back.

“You have got to be the shittiest SHIELD agent I’ve ever encountered,” he sneered. She wasn’t enhanced, she refused to talk even when he used his tried and true methods on her over and over again, and she wouldn’t flip. Was she even of any use at this point? Did she know anything about further experiments or not?

(Y/n) winced and looked at the Commander through her swollen eyes. “Am I really a shitty agent? Or am I the best damn actress you’ve ever seen?” (Y/n) managed to cough out. 

To her surprise the Commander actually paused and considered her words. They couldn’t continue with the same line of fruitless questioning. She had tenacity; they’d have to use other methods. He let go of (Y/n)’s hair and her head immediately dropped back to her chest. 

“With me,” he said looking to the two way mirror. The Commander was met by another man in the hallway who fell in beside him as they walked. He opened the door to his office and slammed it once they were both inside. “Well?”

“I’ve never seen her before, but that doesn’t mean anything. SHIELD has hundreds of agents,” the man shrugged.

“Is what she’s saying true?” the Commander sat behind his desk and leaned forward on his elbows.

“You’ve tortured her enough that I think she would’ve spit out anything to make it stop at this point. Plus I’ve seen no evidence from my end that SHIELD is doing new experiments,” the man stood in front of the Commander’s desk, feet shoulder width apart and hands clasped behind his back.

“Why is she working with the Avengers?”

“Well, from the report you showed me,” he started slowly, picking his words carefully, “It appears she and Steve have some sort of relationship. They’ve been seen entering and leaving one another’s rooms at the tower,” the man said. 

The Commander nodded thinking back to the conversation between him and his informant. “Would Rogers be blinded enough to put someone on his team for such a reason?” He asked. The man shook his head.

“Not likely.”

“So there’s something important about her,” the Commander added quickly.

“Or she’s a skilled agent. She hasn’t cracked, that alone means she’s tough. We haven’t heard of her before now. The simplest answer is usually the best – that she’s a highly skilled agent,” the man said simply. 

The two were silent as they considered the implications. She wasn’t going to give them any new information, but could she still be of use. Their plans had been dependent upon finding out better, more sophisticated ways to augment their current agents and test subjects. They’d spent too much time searching for (Y/n) to go back to standard research methods.

“Sir,” the man finally spoke up. The Commander looked up expectantly. “I think it’s time to accept that the Nemesis Task may need to be altered.”

“How do you mean?” The Commander put his hands on his desk as he considered his top agent.

“Without new tech from SHIELD, the Nemesis Task is dead where it stands,” the man raised his eyebrows.

“So what do you suggest?” The Commander clenched his teeth. He was growing tired of these games.

The man took a step forward and glanced towards the machine in the corner. “That we take the work we’ve done with the Asset and apply it to the Avengers,” he leveled his stare at his superior. “Why work to neutralize them when we can appropriate them?” The Commander was quiet for a minute while he considered the suggestion and then shook his head.

“The memory wipe has proven to be unreliable over a long period of time, and that’s on a test subject who only received a percentage of the serum Rogers did, let alone what’s been altered in Banner. Thor isn’t even human, who knows how he’d react,” he started shaking his head again. “The others on the Avengers are so headstrong the wipe wouldn’t last the duration of a mission,” he looked at the man across from him once more.

“There have been some drastic improvements,” the man said simply. This caught the Commander’s attention. 

“Tested?” he asked standing and walking to the machine.

“Not since the last change. We have the failed subjects downstairs to tinker with tuning the machine. The Asset will be the final test--”

“No, (Y/n) will be,” the Commander interrupted. “She’ll be the first to join the Nemesis Task force,” he said now watching the screen showing (Y/n) sitting slumped over, still bound to her chair.

“And then what, sir? The techs haven’t succeeded in creating enough reliably enhanced subjects to mount an offensive strike,” the man said warily.

A grin broke out on the Commander’s face. “Who said anything about an offensive strike? She’ll be ours to use along with the Asset, the rest will fall one by one.”

The man nodded slowly. There was still much work to be done before the Commander’s plan could be put into action. “And until the machine is ready? There’s still a lot we need to know to get to Rogers and the rest of them. Do you want me back in New York to get some new intel?” he asked and the Commander immediately shook his head no.

“How are your acting skills, Rumlow?” the Commander asked suddenly, causing the man to pause. “Do you think you’ve worked with Rogers enough to play a convincing Captain America rescuing a damsel in distress?” he raised his eyebrows, staring once again at the monitor showing (Y/n). 

Rumlow chuckled and shrugged. “I think I can handle that,” he said and joined the Commander in staring at the monitor. 

The Commander pressed a button on his desk and spoke into the intercom. “Give her the injections,” he said simply. A garbled “yes, sir,” came back across the speaker and the two watched on the screen as two lab techs and two agents entered the room. 

She looked too weak to do any real damage; the agents were there per protocol. (Y/n)’s arm was released and she managed to throw a punch at the unsuspecting agent. The agent cursed, falling back and his partner was on her instantly, holding her arm down so the tech could get to the IV port in her arm. 

Three syringes were pushed through the port in quick succession and (Y/n) immediately began sweating and gasping for breath. It was a painful chemical, one that HYDRA had found to be extremely effective for their purposes.

“It won’t be long now,” the Commander said, his eyes trained on (Y/n) through the monitor. Soon she was screaming and writhing in pain as the chemicals made their way through her body. “Go, it’ll be in full effect by the time you get to her,” the Commander dismissed Rumlow who gave a quick salute before turning on his heels and leaving the office. 

Rumlow stopped by the room adjoining the one where (Y/n) was being held. He vaguely registered her screams while he looked at her vitals on the screens in front of him. “Is she ready?” he asked still staring at the screen. 

“Yes, it only takes a few minutes for the chemical to take full effect,” one tech said. Rumlow left the room without further comment and ordered everyone to stay out of interrogation room until he said otherwise.

With one hand on the door, Rumlow squared his shoulders and took several deep breaths. He threw the door open wide and strode in, taking exaggerated breaths as if he’d been running. 

“(Y/n)?” he called out and slammed the door behind him and ran forward towards (Y/n). (Y/n) was delirious as expected, her head hanging low in front of her. Only the restraints kept her upright. “(Y/n), it’s me,” he said and put a hand on either side of her sweaty face, lifting it so she was looking at him. Her eyes fluttered behind her eyelids and Rumlow gently patted her cheek. 

Slowly, (Y/n)’s eyes opened. She tried to focus on the face in front of her but her eyes hurt. Everything hurt. 

“Steve?” she winced trying to better see the man holding her head up. She saw him smile.

“Yeah, baby, it’s me. I’m here,” Rumlow said. 

His voice was far away but (Y/n) clung to that lifeline. He crouched in front of her, still holding her head up. His hands felt so good as he smoothed her sweaty hair back from her face. (Y/n) watched as he gave her a cursory once over before he leaned forward and kissed her. She hardly had the strength to move but her lips moved lightly against his for a brief moment. 

He stroked her face once more. “You’re alright,” he cooed.

“Steve, get me out of here, I want to go home,” she struggled to look around the room to see if he’d managed to take out her guards already. Rumlow however, kept staring at her, making no move to free her or to make their escape. (Y/n)’s eyes went back to the man in front of her. “Please, please get me out of here, Steve,” she whispered. His smile gave her chills -- something was wrong. His eyes gleamed with want, not with worry as they roved over her.

“No baby, we’ve got some things we need to talk about first,” he whispered, running his fingers through her hair once more. He let his thumb brush at the corner of her mouth to wipe away a trickle of blood. “What did you tell them,” Rumlow asked, his eyes hardening. 

“Nothing, you know I don’t have anything to tell them,” (Y/n) was hurt that Steve thought so little of her.

Rumlow stared her down, his face darkening. “I have to know, (Y/n). Did you tell them about Natasha?”

(Y/n)’s brow furrowed in confusion at Steve’s line of questions. _What is he talking about?_ she thought to herself, wracking her brain for any tidbit of knowledge she had about Natasha that might be of importance. They had become friends, but Natasha had been the most careful about not telling (Y/n) information. “No, nothing about Natasha,” (Y/n) finally whispered. 

Her veins felt like fire was running through them. (Y/n) let her eyes close and her head drop to the side as she groaned. _What did they give me? What could possibly do this?_ (Y/n)’s brain went over and over again. Rumlow reached out and wiped away some of the sweat from (Y/n)’s forehead but didn’t move to untie her.

“What about Banner? Did you tell them about his research?” he asked, his tone was still firm but at least (Y/n) could feel his hand now. 

“I don’t know anything about his research, Steve. I’ve only been in that lab once… maybe twice?” (Y/n) winced trying to remember back to the times she’d been in the lab at the tower. 

“(Y/n) you have to tell me the truth,” Rumlow held the back of (Y/n)’s head and forced her to look at him once more. “Fury gave me orders… I… I have to know,” he said gritting his teeth.

“What?” (Y/n)’s delirious mind couldn’t make sense of the words.

“I have to know what you told them. If you gave up anything, well, I have orders I have to follow, (Y/n),” Rumlow said and stroked (Y/n)’s cheek. “Did you tell them about us?” he whispered leaning forward to touch his lips to hers once more. (Y/n) pulled her head away before he could kiss her, hurt and confusion crossing her face.

“What is wrong with you, Steve?” (Y/n) cried out. Tears threatened to fall as she stared at the man in front of her. Rumlow grabbed her shoulders and shoved her hard back into the chair as an alarm rang out. 

“I have to go,” he said. His eyes were cold, all of the affection that (Y/n) had seen just an instant before was gone. “I’ll come back if I can,” Rumlow said evenly.

“No wait! Steve! Bucky’s here,” (Y/n) shouted as he stepped back towards the door. He just stopped at watched her, amused.

“No, he isn’t, (Y/n),” he said and closed the door behind him as he left. 

(Y/n) let out a wail of agony and grief. The pain from the drugs was taking its toll on her and she wasn’t sure how much longer she could take it. (Y/n) wondered if there was anything she could tell them to simply get them to let up on her even for just a few hours. Did she even have any information of value? Could she betray the others like that? Surely they’d understand. Where were they? Steve had found her – where were the others? The blaring siren and flashing lights had (Y/n)’s head pounding. She squinted at the bright lights in the interrogation room and tried in vain to pull herself into a ball. Steve would come back, he would, he had to. 

Blessedly, the alarms stopped and (Y/n) nearly cried at the relief. Her respite was short lived as the door slammed open again. She didn’t have the energy to lift her head to see who would be leading her next session in this damned chair. (Y/n) stared at the floor in front of her and saw five pairs of booted feet. When her chin was grabbed and forced up, her heart fell to her stomach at the sight. Steve stood in black tactical gear along with four other HYDRA agents. 

“Take her back to her cell,” he said and watched as (Y/n)’s eyes filled with tears. _She really was infatuated with the man,_ he thought, his eyes never leaving hers even as she began to shake her head. 

“Steve, no, don’t,” she began but Rumlow only smirked as she was dragged away. “How could you?” (Y/n) shouted. 

Two guards flanked her, holding her arms while one lead the way, the last trailing behind. (Y/n) couldn’t breathe—Steve had been there, he had been _right there_ and he’d watched her be taken away. He was one of them. No one was coming for her, she realized with a sinking feeling. 

Dropping all her weight to the side, one of her guards faltered. (Y/n) wrapped her legs around his and as he fell, she rolled her weight onto his knee. He cried out in pain as his knee twisted and made a hollow pop. (Y/n) didn’t have long to enjoy the satisfaction of actually doing damage to one of HYDRA’s men before she was kicked from behind. Sprawling out on her face, she crawled until her feet were grabbed from behind and lifted up. She kicked and screamed until one guard bent her wrist back far enough that she had no choice but to comply because of the pain. 

Bucky stood when he heard the commotion down the hall. (Y/n) had never cause such an uproar going to or from her sessions in the interrogation room. He was on full alert when he saw her being dragged down the hall, one guard limping behind, the others contorted around her struggling body. 

“Get back,” one snarled at Bucky who took two steps back from the cell door while (Y/n) was tossed on the ground in front of him. He stared at the men blankly while they locked the iron door and retreated, never breaking his Winter Soldier façade. 

When it was finally silent again, he knelt down to (Y/n) who was sobbing at his feet. “(Y/n), it’s Bucky,” he said when (Y/n) yanked away from his touch. “Let me help you,” he tried again reaching out his hand. (Y/n) looked up at him, unsure as her eyes darted back and forth between his hand and his face. 

“Bucky?” she asked and he smiled.

“Yea, doll. It’s me,” Bucky said and when she nodded he pulled her off the floor and put her onto the cot where he looked over her for any new damage. For all that he’d heard, there wasn’t much evidence of new injuries. He nodded, satisfied that though she was far from fighting shape, she was stable for now. “You put up one hell of a fight there,” he said sitting next to her. 

The two sat side by side on the cot, leaning back against the concrete wall it was pushed up against. (Y/n) nodded, staring blankly ahead of her. Bucky knew that stare, had been there himself countless times. 

“That guy who was limping, did you do that?” he asked. 

“Yeah, I guess I did,” (Y/n)’s voice was hollow. 

“That’s my girl,” Bucky said and very gently elbowed (Y/n)’s arm. At the gentle nudge tears began to fall down (Y/n)’s cheeks. Slowly, Bucky put his arm around her shoulders. He couldn’t ask her if she wanted to talk about it, not when he’d been in that room so many times both as subject and as interrogator. 

“It was him,” (Y/n) said and choked back a sob. “He was there, he kissed me, and then he started in on me,” (Y/n) tried to suck in a breath but couldn’t. “Oh my god, Bucky what’s happening?” she started shaking and instantly Bucky had his arms wrapped around her.

“Shh, shh, it wasn’t him, he’d never do that,” he comforted her, stroking (Y/n)’s hair and rocking her back and forth. Bucky’s heart sank knowing what had been done to (Y/n). He’d given and received that injection enough times. “If he were really here, there would be alarms going off all over,” he said but (Y/n) shook her head.

“There _were_ alarms, didn’t you hear them?” (Y/n) protested but he shook his head.

“No, nothing’s happened since they took you this morning,” Bucky assured her. “If Steve were a part of HYDRA I’d know, I’d remember,” he said quietly letting (Y/n) cling to his right arm now. “I promised you I’d get you back to him, didn’t I?” he whispered. (Y/n) nodded and Bucky once again smoothed her hair back. “You need to get some sleep. Don’t you worry, I bet Steve’s on his way right now.” 

(Y/n) nodded and groaned in pain as she tried to curl up. Bucky gently helped her lay down on the cot and sat beside her. He’d keep watch while she slept, he could do that much for Steve while he was there with (Y/n).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, I promise Steve will make his appearance once again soon! Thank you all *so* much for the feedback last chapter! It was amazing and helped me so much! Things are getting to the breaking point!
> 
> Also -- Side note -- I've decided that this series will have a part 2! (Exciting i know!) However, here is the catch -- the part 2 will consist of fluff and/or scenes you wish could've made it into the series OR scenes that happen afterwards. Do you guys like this idea or should I just put all my effort into whatever the next series I write will be? Let me know!! It will be entirely dependent upon you guys to give me little one shot prompts. If it's really successful I'll do the same thing for Kidnapped... so start thinking of ideas! 
> 
> Much love, all of you! You guys keep me writing and your support is just beyond words. Love every one of you! <3


	24. New Hope

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel awful I haven't updated as soon as I was planning! I spent every extra bit of free time the past 2 weeks putting together my halloween costume (Which I DID go as the Winter Soldier thank you very much and it was amazing!) I had half of this written back before I had to start working on my costume and could've posted a short update but wanted to give you guys some more. There's more to come but this felt like the most natural stopping point without making the chapter like... 7-8 thousand words. I hope you enjoy!

(Y/n) sat bolt upright, torn from her brief sleep by a clanging door and footsteps. _No, not again, they just had me—I can’t take any more,_ she thought. Bucky put his hand on her arm; she was trembling all over. He felt helpless; there was so little he could do for her aside from give what little comfort he had. 

“You’ll be okay, doll. Just breathe,” he whispered still at her side. As the crowd of armored guard came into view, (Y/n) knew something was off. They never sent more than four guards for her now that they knew she wasn’t enhanced. There had to be at least twelve in the hallway in front of their shared cell this time.

Bucky tensed and held onto (Y/n)’s arm tightly. “No,” he said to himself. _They can’t do this, not now,_ Bucky began to panic. He had someone counting on him this time.

“Bucky?” (Y/n) looked up at him in fear as she sensed the change come over him. 

He didn’t move. His eyes darted around the room looking for any possible escape for the two of them. He had yet to be successful, but Bucky was desperate now. Bucky’s breathing became ragged, and he was covered in a cold sweat. If they put in him into Winter Soldier mode now… if they used him against (Y/n) like that… it was Bucky’s turn look wide eyed with fear.

(Y/n) had never seen him like this. Whenever there were HYDRA agents or guards he always remained cool and collected, never in a panic like this. 

“Bucky, you’re scaring me,” (Y/n) whispered but Bucky just swallowed against the dryness in his mouth and throat. Quickly he turned and grabbed her shoulders, making her wince.

“Listen to me, if you see me again, and I’m not myself… you have to do whatever I say. Can you do that?” he held (Y/n) with his eyes. “Promise me,” he shook her once and (Y/n) gulped and nodded. “Even if it’s to betray everyone you hold dear, you do it. Because I won’t be the same person I am now, I’ll kill you…” Bucky’s voice was thick. He’d promised (Y/n) he would take care of her. After the first few days he assumed that she wasn’t his assignment and that their forced company was for another reason entirely. 

He pulled (Y/n) into a hug just the Commander stepped forward and signaled for the cell to be unlocked. 

“Funny, I thought you were attached to the Captain, (Y/n),” the Commander smirked. “Time to go, Soldier,” his voice was grim as he turned to Bucky. 

“No,” Bucky said firmly standing back in a fighting stance. He had a good chance of escape this time, they’d let him recuperate far longer than usual before his memory wipe. 

“What was that, Soldier?”

“I said no. I’m not going anywhere with you,” he gritted his teeth and twitched his fingers, ready to launch himself at the first guard that came in through the room.

“I’ll just tranq you,” the Commander said offhandedly. That gave Bucky pause. If he was tranquilized he’d have no chance at all to escape before they got him to the machine. The commander saw the change in Bucky and motioned for his men to go in and retrieve the errant Soldier. He put up quite the fight but in the end he relented.

“(Y/n)!” he yelled as they dragged him down the hallway, “Remember what I said! (Y/n) be careful!” he implored before the metal door at the end of the hall was slammed shut leaving an eerie silence in the wake of the disturbing number of agents. 

(Y/n) sat there in stunned silence. Her one ally was gone. Her one hope for escape. _Not your only hope, the tracker…_ she forced herself to remain hopeful. How would she survive further interrogation without him to come back to? He’d become her closest friend and confidant these past few days. Then there was what he’d told her before the guards came – what would he be like the next time she saw him? She was terrified. Slowly she pulled her knees up to her chest, her complete aloneness finally sinking in. 

“Steve,” she sniffed and wiped at a tear on her face. “Please, get here soon,” she whispered and let her head fall to her knees as she broke down in tears.

No sooner had the words left her mouth than the _impersonator_ stepped into view. Steve was standing in front of her wearing the same tight black tee shirt and combat pants. He was armed to the teeth. (Y/n) lifted her chin as they made eye contact, determined to keep any emotion from her face. Bucky had told her that it couldn’t be Steve, and for the sake of her sanity, she chose to believe him.

“How are you doing this morning, baby?” he asked leaning on the bars to her cell.

“Quite well,” (Y/n) said politely, “Though I’m not your ‘baby,’” she said curling her lip in a sneer. 

“You’re getting better at this game,” he smiled and unlocked her cell and stepped in. 

There were two guards behind him, she was sure they were there in case she had some idea in her head to give their leader trouble. He stepped up to where she was sitting on the bed, arms at her side, head held high. The man who looked like Steve grabbed her by her upper arms and yanked her to her feet. (Y/n) tried not to make a sound but a whimper escaped her as he gripped her battered body. The sound made him smile. 

“Still have a bit more toughening up to do. But don’t worry, I’m good at that. Maybe one day I’ll show you the benefits of my training,” he said leaning forward to press a kiss to her cheek and then her jaw. (Y/n) thought she might be sick. She stiffened and tried to pull back. “What’s the matter, baby?” he whispered.

“You aren’t my Steve,” (Y/n) said past clenched teeth.

Steve let out a low chuckle and kissed her ear once again. “Baby, I’m whatever your mind decides I am,” he whispered against her skin like a lover. “As cozy as this is,” he said running his hand up (Y/n)’s arm. “It’s time we move this to our usual spot,” he smirked when he felt her skin go cold and immediately start to perspire. “Ahh, thought you might like that,” he whispered and then pushed her in front of him, holding her hands behind her mercilessly. “If you’re good, I’ll do all of this session by myself. If not, I’ll let a friend take over.”

(Y/n) kept her back rigid. She thought back to what Bucky had told her – it was Bucky who would take over if she didn’t cooperate. Bucky—the one who told her that he would kill her if she didn’t cooperate. She finally gave one nod to Steve who smirked and leaned over her shoulder to kiss her cheek. “Good girl, so smart,” he chuckled. 

When they reached the room at the end of the hall, Steve unceremoniously shoved her into the room. Her vision flickered and the next time she saw the man his hair was dark and he had a dark complexion – nothing like Steve’s fair one. He saw the change register in (Y/n)’s eyes and nodded to someone behind her. “Another dose,” he said. (Y/n) still couldn’t make out the details of his face, he was too far and her vision too unstable. She cried out when she felt the familiar burn of the chemical going through her veins. “How do you feel?” he asked leaning forward on his bent knee over (Y/n). She still couldn’t pick herself up off the floor. 

“Screw you,” she muttered and tried to curl into a fetal position. 

The man over her was suddenly Steve again and he was smiling down at her. “Oh baby girl, you’ve got spunk. You’re starting to grow on me, you know that?” he smiled.

“Yeah,” (Y/n) gasped. “I’ve been told I have that effect on people,” she tried to keep her eyes focused but everything around her danced in and out of view.

 

"Always got a comeback huh?" He leaned forward and pushed (y/n)'s hair out of her face. "Once you're part of my Nemesis Team, maybe you'll get to see me for who I am," Steve raised his eyebrows. "Being in the leader's good graces is advantageous," he pulled (Yn) to her feet before pushing her up against the wall. "I could be to you what you think Steve is...but I'd actually protect you. You could be my second in command," he whispered in her ear before kissing her neck. He wasn’t sure why he was drawn to her, but the fact that she saw him as Steve gave him license to take whatever approach he wanted and he wanted this one. "The Black Widow is also tempting, but they get their names for a reason, and I don't have a death wish," he chuckled and pressed (Yn) further against the wall.

 

(Yn) refused to shy away from her captor's advances. Her stomach turned with each kiss and she couldn't suppress the shudder that went through her body. The man smirked against her skin and then pulled back to look down at her.

 

"Are you really disillusioned enough to think you'd be in charge of something as big as Nemesis when they have Bucky Barnes to use?" (Yn) scoffed, satisfied at the look of shock on his face. "I didn't get to be where I am by being just another pretty face. You should try using your brain sometime, _baby_ ," (Yn) laughed. 

 

Rumlow took a step back and rubbed his face before turning and back handing (Yn). Her head snapped to the side and she bit her cheek to keep from crying. 

 

"You know nothing, you little bitch," he grabbed her by the neck and slammed her head back into the wall once before he let her slide to the ground. "I will make you mine, if only to see you finally broken. Watching the Captain see you and I before he forgets himself will be just an added bonus," he held (Y/n) up by her collar. “Let’s get started,” he said and threw her towards the table she was to be bound to. “I’m not pulling any punches this time, sweetheart. No matter how much progress we make, Nemesis will begin tomorrow, as will your rebirth,” he said as she struggled against the men strapping her down. 

 

_Help me, Steve,_ (Y/n) thought to herself, too scared to even cry at this point. _Any time now…please!_ she screamed in her mind. 

\---

This was one of the few times more HYDRA personnel had to be called in to control their Asset. Bucky fought against them the entire way to _that room_. When more and more guards showed up, he forced himself back to an eerie calm. Once again his face was passive, his eyes calculating. This is what the guards expected from him. This was the look they associated with the Winter Soldier. 

The Commander entered the room before Bucky and stood in the corner as the Asset was brought in. His shirt was stripped from him and he was shoved forward towards the machine. Bucky took one more look around the room. Men stood with their hands ready near their guns just waiting for him to make one wrong move. He had no choice. Self-sacrifice wouldn’t help (Y/n), he knew his memories would come back eventually. Though it could be years between cryo freezes. No, getting himself killed wouldn’t help anyone. 

Slowly he turned and sat down in the chair, glaring at the Commander in the corner. 

“Good choice,” the Commander said under his breath, he knew his Soldier could hear him. 

Bucky’s breathing quickened as a tech accompanied by a guard came up to him and shoved the bite guard in his mouth. He thought back to all the conversations he had with (Y/n) in their cell. He thought of Steve… _Steve’s alive,_ he thought and clenched his jaw around the bite guard. _After all these years he’s still alive,_ his best friend, after seventy years was still alive. Bucky thought about (Y/n). In the short time he’d spent with her he could see how Steve had fallen for her. She was something else, but she wouldn’t last much longer. He knew agents, he knew military, he knew specialists, and she was none of these. Why Steve had let her out of his sight was beyond him. He did know that he couldn’t let her down, couldn’t let Steve down. Bucky’s eyes took in the distance between himself and the guard. He was just out of reach. The tech however, was not.

Before the men could react, Bucky grabbed the tech and threw him into the guard at his side and both went flying into the wall. He jumped up and dove after the two, grabbing the gun out of the guard’s leg holster. 

He made quick work of the guard and tech before the entire room erupted in gunfire and Bucky dove behind the metal chair. He had no extra ammunition, he had to make each shot count. _One guard to the left, four more to the right, seven outside of the cell, and the commander. Any guard that made the mistake of trying to get around behind the chair immediately fell to a bullet in his chest or head. Fortunately for Bucky, there were enough stupid agents that he took out 6 this way._

_The Commander had immediately left and alarms sounded as Bucky vaulted the chair and charged the remaining guards. Some put their hands up in surrender. Bucky showed no mercy as he pulled a knife from the nearest dead guard, abandoning his now useless gun. He felt a sharp pain in his right arm as a bullet grazed the outside of his shoulder. Ignoring the pain he pushed forward and put his knife through the throat of the guard in front of him, while breaking the man’s arm holding the gun. The next guard found himself with the knife embedded deep in his eye as he dropped to the floor dead._

_The room was filled with an eerie silence. Bucky was only slightly out of breath from the skirmish. He knew there would be more soon and quickly ran to the corner, strapping on all of his gear they had laid out for him, presumably for post memory wipe._

_He felt much more comfortable now that he was armed with his gear. Bucky knew his gear inside and out. It was something to fall back on now that his world had been turned on its head once again. He could use it to escape. _Escape… and to rescue (Y/n)_ he thought to himself. _

_Bucky went over to the line of computers and searched for where (Y/n) was being held. He wasn’t surprised at what he found on the monitors--(Y/n) in an interrogation room with his handler hovering over her. He couldn’t remember his name, but the tightening in his stomach was proof enough for him. He quickly scanned the other computers and didn’t see anything out of the ordinary._

_In the stillness following his assessment, Bucky looked back to the chair, to the godforsaken machine that had turned his life into a constant living hell. He slowly walked over to his and stared at the rotating arm and the plates attached to it. The plates that sent shock after shock into his brain, that made him forget himself and all that he held dear. Slowly, Bucky reached out with his left arm and placed it over the arm, his brow furrowed. After a long minute staring at the hated machine, he closed his metal fist around the arm and pulled. It crumpled under his touch and broke off of the rest of the chair. Bucky screamed as he ripped the rest of the chair apart, piece by piece, utterly destroying the metal plates and restraints – everything about the chair that had destroyed him over and over again._

_He was panting by the time the chair was destroyed. Bucky turned to leave when he heard a faint beep that he hadn’t been able to before. His heart raced, fearing what it could be and ran back to the computers. A frequency he hadn’t ever seen before was on their tracking screen. It wasn’t anything beyond their ordinary work but something was off about it. Brow furrowed, his hands hovered over the keyboard._

_“Damnit I hope this is what I think it is,” he muttered and then began to interrupt the signal. “· · · – – – · · · “ he interrupted over and over again. After a minute he shook his head and then added in coordinates before he cut the signal completely. If it was HYDRA then it wouldn’t harm anyone. If it was what he didn’t dare hope for, it would be his salvation._

_“Alright, (Y/n), hang in there. I’m coming,” he said quietly before alarms began going off. “Damnit,” he grunted as he forced the door open, gun held out ahead of him as he began to make his way through the base to (Y/n). Bucky had to get her and get out and there were many gates and guards standing between them._

_\--_

_“Holy shit,” Tony leaned forward in his chair staring at the screen. “Holy shit,” he said again and shouted for JARVIS._

_“Yes, sir?” the computer responded._

_“Get the team in here now. Tell them I found (Y/n),” Tony said quickly jumping up and typing furiously. It had been days since they’d been able to receive anything from the tracker. Days of not knowing whether (Y/n) was alive or not, where she was, or what might be happening to her._

_“No, no no no no no no,” he muttered as the signal started going in and out. He quickly looked at the recordings from the tracker, noting her location and her most recent vitals which did not look good._

_Steve was the first through the door. He sprinted over to the computer, standing behind Stark as he stared at the blinking light on the map on the screen. It wasn’t coming in regular intervals._

_“Is it supposed to be doing that?” Steve asked, his eyes never leaving the screen. It was (Y/n)’s lifeline, her one lifeline and he was terrified that they would lose it again, lose _her_ again. _

_“No, it’s supposed to be a steady signal,” Tony muttered and began typing again. Steve leaned over his shoulder to see the screen better. Natasha and Clint joined them shortly, both looking anxious for news._

_Steve’s eyes narrowed at the blinking on the screen. “Tony, did you save this from when it first came across?” he asked and Tony nodded._

_“It started off normally, steady, strong signal and then it started blinking. It could be that whatever cause the interference is still around her,” he muttered but brought up the recording of the signal from the time it reactivated. When it started to blink Steve’s eyes widened as it registered just what the signal was doing. “Son of a bitch,” Tony gasped at the same time Steve was about to speak up. He turned to Natasha. “Tell me you taught (Y/n) Morse code, Nat, Steve?” Steve shook his head as he grabbed a pen and paper to write down what he was seeing._

_“We talked about it a few times but there were just too many other essentials to worry about first,” Natasha said. “Knowing her though, she very well might have learned it on her own,” Natasha said thoughtfully. The idea brought a slight smile to her face for the first time wince (Y/n) had been abducted._

_“Better pray that it is her or we’re walking into one hell of a trap,” Tony said as the group took in all the data the tracker was sending them._

_“The coordinates sent match the ones coming across on her transmitter. That’s hopeful. At least it confirms were she is,” Bruce said quietly as he joined from the side._

_“How far? When can we be there?” Steve said, walking backwards towards the door._

_“Hour tops in the quin jet. Less if we hurry,” Tony said as the group left the lab._

_“Then lets hurry,” Steve said as the group broke into a sprint towards the quin jet._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did you think?? You guys have been incredible about leaving feedback, as always I can't tell you how much it means to me! It's encouraging and also helps me figure out some details about the story, it inspires me creatively and emotionally. Ah you guys are seriously the greatest audience I could have ever asked for! Much love to each and every one of you <3


	25. Detonate

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my gosh what is this!?!? An Update?!? I'm so so sorry I've been MIA, life has still been very chaotic. But I'm on break for the next month so I'm going to try to update several times. I assure you that I *will* finish this story (and Kidnapped while we're talking about finishing works eesh!) This story is starting to get to the point where I'm going to wrap it up and we'll continue with Part 2 as one shots/mini-missions related to this plot. That way you guys aren't left hanging but we can continue to delve into Steve/Reader antics and plot. Much love you guys, you're amazing readers and I cannot believe I'm blessed that you choose to read my work and comment and keep encouraging me! Muaaah! Kisses and hugs to you all!

Rumlow froze when he heard the alarms sounding, his fist raised in the air ready to fall onto (Y/n) once again. His heart started pounding. That alarm meant one of two things: an attack on the base or _The Asset_ had managed to break free and was now roaming uncontrolled. Both were a reason to worry. 

“Son of a bitch!” he grit his teeth and looked from (Y/n)’s bloody face to the other guards stationed about the interrogation room. He knew the Avengers would come looking for (Y/n) sooner or later. Rumlow had counted on it, the Commander had counted on it. They’d thought that they would have a bit more time to work with (Y/n) first.

“Make sure she stays _here_! Am I understood?” Rumlow shouted to the guards who nodded stepping forward.

“Go on, run away like the little coward you are, bitch,” (Y/n) growled from her place on the floor. Her right eye was swollen shut from the beating she had just received and her arm was useless beside her. She assumed her elbow and shoulder were dislocated from the way that man had twisted it. 

“You’ll regret saying that, I promise you. I have something to take care of but I will be back, and I will finish breaking you,” Rumlow growled. He flashed back and forth between the fair haired Steve and the dark gruff man she couldn’t place. 

“Sounds like you have more than just something to take care of,” (Y/n) added as one last parting shot. Rumlow turned and gave her one more glare. She’d learn her place; that he was sure of. 

(Y/n) was left alone with the four men in the interrogation room when the lights began to flicker. She could only hope that Steve had rallied his team and had come to rescue her. Bucky had been beside himself when he was taken away, she wasn’t sure if he could cause this much mayhem in whatever state they put him into. He had been convinced that the next time they met that he wouldn’t know her, that he could do unspeakable things to her. (Y/n) didn’t doubt his conviction for a moment. 

One of the men wandered just close enough for her to reach up from her spot laid out on the ground to the holster at his ankle. It took one shot to take him down. He was close enough that with Barton’s lessons he was an easy target. The others moved in on her instantly as the lights went out once more. (Y/n) shot blindly in their direction as lights began to strobe on and off. 

When the lights returned once more there were only two men advancing. The third was on the ground with a sickening wet wheeze each time he breathed. _Lung, that’ll keep him down,_ (Y/n) thought in the back of her mind. She aimed at the man on her right when the other took two steps closer and knelt down with his gun to her head.

“Try it,” he threatened. (Y/n) slowly placed the gun down and put her hands up. She glanced from one guard to the other and then smirked. Before the first one could even frown at the change in (Y/n)’s demeanor, two shots were fired and both men fell in front of her dead.

(Y/n) looked up to see Bucky walking carefully towards her, step over step, his gun continuously trained on the fallen men. He knew they were dead, he just wanted to make sure they stayed that way. (Y/n) eyed him, wary at first by the sight of Bucky in tactical gear, armed to the teeth. She’d only ever seen him in a tattered long sleeve shirt and thick combat pants. 

Before going to (Y/n), Bucky knelt and removed every weapon from each of the four guards, tossing them in a corner. He felt each neck for a pulse and when he was satisfied he finally moved towards (Y/n). His movements were slow and careful and he made a show of putting his gun down before he reached out to her. (Y/n) nodded that she understood. He had warned her extensively the last time they’d seen each other. He was telling her she was safe with him right now.

“Jesus what did they do to you?” he whispered and cupped her chin turning it. “Can you walk?” he asked after he took in the way her left shoulder hung limply. 

“I’m alright,” (Y/n) took a deep breath against the pain of moving. Her face, neck, and torso were mottled with bruises upon bruises, some old, some new. Her shirt was tattered from the number of cuts and hot brands put to her skin through it, and her jeans were beyond repair. “I can move,” she said as Bucky clasped her right hand and pulled her to her feet. 

The two went to the corner and he put as many guns on (Y/n) as they had time to. The holsters he gave her were fitted to her thigh, ankle, and back quickly and looked sloppy, but they would do the trick. The key was to both be as armed as possible and to escape. Bucky had seen the dead guards in the room as he arrived and he knew she could at least shoot, if not with precision accuracy, at least with the intent to survive. There wasn’t any more motivation he could give her.

Bucky turned (Y/n) to face him and put his hands on her shoulders. “You stay behind me. You got that?” (Y/n) nodded once and pulled out the gun holding it down at her side like Nat had shown her, flipping the safety off. Bucky gave her one last look and then nodded. He raised his gun and kicked the door open, stepping into the hall, (Y/n) on his heels.

\--

“Are you sure?” Steve asked squinting at the base through the lens of the scope. There certainly was a commotion coming from the base but he couldn’t be certain what was actually happening.

“I’m positive, Cap,” Clint said. “Someone got there before us, and it doesn’t look pretty,” he added, his eyes never leaving the few windows he could see into. The compound was mainly underground but up top he could see men in suits and other men suiting up in tactical gear running around. “Looks like someone kicked the hornets’ nest,” he finally looked down at Steve, Natasha and Tony who stood dumbfounded.

“Who the hell would do that? Who else even knows about HYDRA?” Tony said and Nat sighed. 

Steve just looked anxious. (Y/n) was in there, in all of that chaos. She could easily be seen as a liability and removed from the picture if someone had attacked the base. 

“Doesn’t change the overall plan, we’re still going in,” Steve said and started forward. Natasha grabbed his sleeve and gave him a cautionary look. “(Y/n)’s still in there,” was all he said.

Natasha held his stare for a minute longer before Clint stepped up beside her. “We know, Steve, we’re going to do our best to get to her. But this could be something else entirely… something big, we don’t know how that S.O.S. got out, it could be a trap,” he said carefully. 

The four held each other in one last stare down before it was wordlessly and unanimously decided that they would all go on. 

“I’ll give updates from the top,” Tony said and was off in the air in seconds. The other three were running from tree to tree for cover, waiting to find a good vantage point for Clint to provide an extra pair of eyes and pick off threats as they got to Steve and Natasha.

“Looks like you have two options, Hawkeye,” Natasha said looking back and forth between a large spruce tree and a guard tower. Clint scoffed and immediately swung up into the lowest branch of the tree and was soon out of sight. “Just us now, Cap,” Natasha said and Steve gave her a quick nod as they sprinted towards the base. 

They slowed and crept towards the door. Alarms and lights were going off at each corner of the base and the door was cracked open. Natasha gave a nod and Steve kicked the door open the rest of the way before the two jumped through, standing back to back, Steve with his shield protecting him, Nat with both guns straight out in front of her.

\--

Bucky moved as quickly as he dared. He could hear (Y/n) doing her best to keep up with him but she wouldn’t be able to keep going at this pace much longer. She had tenacity, but even that combined with the surge of adrenaline would only keep her on her feet for so long. HYDRA had done her serious damage. 

Bucky risked a quick glance back to see (Y/n) trotting behind him, tripping over her feet. He swore and shook his head. He couldn’t carry her and get them both out of the base at the same time; she had to keep going.

When he turned around, he stopped short and (Y/n) ran into his back. 

“Shit,” Bucky growled, face to face now with a team of HYDRA agents. He put his hand out to the side to keep (Y/n) behind him. Quickly he shoved her back around the corner, hearing the agents shout for them to stop and put down their weapons. “Go go go!” Bucky pushed (Y/n) in front of him holding his gun back and looking over his shoulder, ready to shoot at any agents who dared turn that corner. 

He nearly knocked (Y/n) over when they rounded the next corner. (Y/n)’s feet froze, facing another team of agents. She blindly reached for Bucky, staring in horror. Trapped. They were trapped. 

Without a word, Bucky grabbed her hand and pulled her back into the previous hallway and sprinted. They came to a door and with a solid kick, Bucky sent it flying back on its hinges. He yanked (Y/n) into the room and shut the door. 

“(Y/n), help me with this,” he whispered and nodded to the file cabinets. (Y/n) nodded when she saw Bucky slide one of the cabinets easily in front of the door. It was an old storage room, plenty to barricade the door with. He had left one part of his plan unsaid, (Y/n) thought, there was no other entrance to the room. They might be safe, but they were trapped.

Bucky moved the heavy pieces of furniture and file cabinets first while (Y/n) pushed over box after box and chairs to hinder anyone trying to get through the door. She was out of breath and holding her left arm with her right by the time Bucky was satisfied. 

“What now?” she gasped watching Bucky pace the room, his face too calm for their predicament. Bucky scanned the room. 

_No windows, no doors… vents…_ he looked up to see the ductwork above them. He didn’t have the base’s ductwork memorized, it had never been part of his previous missions but they didn’t have any options left. 

“Come here,” he said quietly when they finally heard voices outside the door. 

Bucky reached up and pulled the grate down before lacing his fingers together, prepared to boost (Y/n) straight into the duct overhead. (Y/n) gave him a wary look before whipping her head towards the door as the sound of a battering ram slamming into it brought her back to reality.

“If there are spiders up there I’m going to kill you,” she growled and put her right hand on Bucky’s shoulder as he boosted her up. 

Bucky winced as he heard (Y/n) cry out in pain, barely able to pull herself into the duct with her injured shoulder and elbow. He hadn’t had time to check if they had been put back into place properly, and wouldn’t until they were well away from the base. Reaching up, he helped push her further into the vent before jumping up and pulling himself in. 

“Go!” he said and urged her forward. They were going blindly, Bucky would have to give directions by the rooms they passed. He was determined to keep himself in between (Y/n) and the agents. HYDRA wouldn’t kill him, and if they tried, well, he was far more resilient than she was. He hadn’t had time to contemplate whether or not they’d been experimenting on her yet. 

They made it a few rooms down when they heard muffled shouts behind them coming through vent. “They’re in the air ducts! Find them!” one squad leader shouted. 

“Sir, do we follow them?” Bucky faintly heard one agent ask.

“Don’t be an idiot,” was the harsh response. Bucky’s eyes narrowed in concern but he kept urging (Y/n) forward. 

\--

A trail of bodies lay behind Steve and Natasha as they made their way through the base. Steve stared at the monitors in the room with the strange metal chair that had been ripped to shreds. He couldn’t begin to imagine who or what was strong enough to wreak that kind of havoc. 

Natasha covered the door, both guns in front of her while Steve scanned each screen. “Can you find anything?” she asked over her shoulder, her eyes continuously scanning the hallway to either side of the door. They’d encountered HYDRA agents running all over the building, and by the surprise and dread on their faces it was obvious that they were responding to something much different than an infiltration by the Avengers.

“Nothing,” Steve muttered leaning over the desk on clenched fists. One monitor finally caught his attention. There were two units of agents approaching a door. He watched intently as a battering ram was used on the door repeatedly. Finally, the door began to move ever so slightly inward, splintering in the middle where the battering ram hit over and over again. Another screen showed the door from the inside, a mass of cabinets, boxes and chairs piled on top of each other in a barricade. One agent managed to squeeze through followed by another. They carefully cleared the room and shook their heads back at the others by the door, pointing up to the vent.

“Whoever they’re after… looks like they know what they’re doing, and they’re in the vents,” Steve said frustrated.

“Any sign of (Y/n)?” Natasha asked and Steve clenched his jaw. 

“No,” he said and looked once again at the screens. There were cameras directed at cells with prisoners, some in horrible shape, some unmoving, and some mutated into grotesque creations. “Come on, (Y/n), you have to be here,” he whispered.

“Her tracker still has her at these coordinates, Cap, she’s here somewhere,” Tony’s voice came over coms from high above the compound. Steve began to scan the screens once more.

“Cap, we need to move,” Natasha warned.

“I’m not giving up yet, Nat,” Steve shot back, bowed over the bank of screens in front of him. “Get over here and get as many of the files as you can,” he ordered and Natasha pursed her lips before running to the computer and slipping her thumb drive in, tapping furiously at the keyboard.

\--

(Y/n) and Bucky wordlessly made their way through the vents, trying to keep as quiet as possible. (Y/n) could hear the gentle rustle of fabric behind her but nothing more while her own crawling felt as if she were banging on the loudest drum for everyone to hear. Bucky signaled turns by tapping on the outside of her calves and they managed to make quite a bit of headway. 

Bucky’s neck cramped as he tried to look ahead of (Y/n). Things were far too quiet for his liking. They hadn’t heard any pursuit, nor had they seen any agents in the rooms they passed. (Y/n) was moving more and more slowly and Bucky feared she wouldn’t have enough left in her to run once they made it out of the compound. A gentle _click_ barely registered with Bucky while he was thinking of their escape plans. Something wasn’t right…

“(Y/n)! Get back!” he shouted and grabbed at (Y/n)’s ankle. (Y/n) looked down just to see a little blue light turn red and start to blink. Neither could turn around in the tiny space the vent afforded. Instead, both crawled backwards as the charge began to beep faster and faster. 

(Y/n) could hardly breathe as she pushed herself backwards before the charge went off, she fell to the floor of the vent and curled into a tiny ball, covering her head with both of her arms. Bucky was much further back by now and shouted for her to keep moving but she knew she’d never make it back far enough to avoid the charge completely. She had to protect her head. 

Superheated air scorched her bare arms and the vent gave way along with the ceiling and its framework below her. (Y/n) fell through the air even as Bucky reached to grab her leg. Debris piled below her as she reached desperately to try and stop her fall, seeing Bucky’s face contorted in horror as she fell. The air was immediately knocked out of her lungs as she connected with the floor. (Y/n) couldn’t even scream. 

Bucky was shouting her name from above her and she vaguely saw him ripping the metal sheeting of the vent apart with his metal arm. _It’s like a can opener…_ she almost giggled in her delirium. Bucky jumped from the vent, sliding down the pile of debris towards where (Y/n) lay. 

“(Y/n)? (Y/n) can you hear me?” he whispered looking up and down her body. His eyes were wide but (Y/n) didn’t feel any urgent need to move. 

“Buck…Bucky,” she slowly tried to push herself up on her elbow but Bucky held her shoulders down. “I can’t move…” (Y/n) began to panic when she suddenly felt a burning pain in her side.

“(Y/n)… (Y/n) I need you to be quiet now for me, can you do that?” Bucky said looking around to see if the agents had caught up to them yet. (Y/n) gave one nod, swallowing even though her mouth was suddenly dry.

Bucky looked down at (Y/n)’s side, the piece of rebar was nearly completely through her side. It would be best to finish pulling it out. He had nothing to stop whatever bleeding would follow but he had no choice. Bucky put his right hand over (Y/n)’s mouth, “I’m sorry, hold onto my arm,” he whispered but (Y/n) didn’t move. He kept his movements slow and smooth as he pulled the piece of metal from (Y/n)’s side, clamping down on her mouth when she screamed. Thankfully, she quickly fainted from the pain and shock.

“I got you, doll,” Bucky said quietly, he tossed the metal aside and ripped the bottom half of her shirt off to use as a makeshift bandage. It wouldn’t do much, but it was better than nothing. 

\--

“There!” Steve pointed at a screen as he saw debris and a large explosion fill a room. The camera in the room flickered in and out with the force of the explosion but managed to hold steady after the initial shockwave. 

Natasha kept tapping away and soon the loading bar was filling up as all the files she managed to access were downloading to her thumb drive. While she waited she ran to Steve’s side. “That’s…oh my god that’s (Y/n),” Natasha said. Steve couldn’t move he saw (Y/n) laying on the pile of debris and his heart nearly stopped. “Someone’s with her,” Natasha said forcing Steve back to reality. He saw the man jump out of the ceiling after (Y/n) and kneel next to her. 

“Don’t you dare touch her you sonofabitch,” Steve growled, picking up his shield and running out of the room towards the direction of the explosion. Natasha grabbed her thumb drive and tucked it into her suit as she sprinted after Steve. The two encountered surprisingly few HYDRA agents on their way. Those they did were put down quickly and without warning. 

Steve rounded the corner and saw a man with a metal arm picking up (Y/n) from the floor. He was the picture of lethality, covered in weapons. Natasha stood at Steve’s side, both guns aimed at this new threat. _He has (Y/n)_ was all Steve could think as the man straightened with (Y/n) in his arms.

"Put her down, now! Slowly!" Steve shouted. James froze, he knew that voice. He was bent over (Y/n), cradling her to his chest, he hadn’t even heard the two behind him approach. Slowly he turned to look at Steve.

"I keep telling ya, Steve, you gotta take better care of your things," James said and gave Steve the cockiest grin he could manage given his state. "Told ya next time I find something of yours lyin' around it's mine," he glanced pointedly to the unconscious woman in his arms then to Steve. 

Steve held his shield, poised to throw but now stood dumbfounded. His jaw worked to form words but he couldn't put together the scene in front of him. Cautiously, he stepped closer to the pair in front of him, his eyes filled with worry as (Y/n) lay unresponsive in James' arms. _Bucky?_

"If I remember right," he said bringing his eyes back to James, "I was the one gettin' on you for leaving your stuff everywhere. The apartment was always an absolute wreck," Steve watched Bucky standing in front of him. They measured one another, they didn't have time for a grand reunion but each was still taken aback by a flood of memories.

"You teach me somethin' it's mine to use," Bucky shrugged.

"Pretty sure I said that too," Steve’s brow furrowed as he stepped closer. 

(Y/n) began to stir in Bucky's arms, and Steve's eyes were fixed on her. She looked so pale, so still. 

"You were the one who sent out the S.O.S.? Figured out how to piggyback it off of (Y/n)'s tracker?" Steve asked and Bucky shrugged one shoulder like it was nothing.

"I picked up some useful skills along the way. You, however, I hear slept the entire time. Seventy years? Really, Steve?" 

"What did they do to her? Is she gonna make it?" Steve said finally stepping up so he could look at (Y/n)'s face, reaching out to touch her clammy forehead. He wanted to look over her injuries then and there. Who knew what was hidden beneath her tattered clothes but the three of them had been standing there for too long already.

James watched the way Steve looked at (Y/n). _Told her she was his girl,_ he suppressed a smirk that his friend finally found someone. 

"She's in a bad way, Steve," he said shaking his head. "Please tell me you have an evac team ready?" James' brow was creased with worry. He could feel (Y/n)'s breaths growing more rapid and shallow even in the time they had been standing there. Steve nodded dumbly before he was finally shaken out of his thoughts. 

"We need to get out in the open. A quinjet should be here soon," Steve hesitated, starting to reach for (Y/n). Instead of letting Steve take her, Bucky held (Y/n) more securely and nodded his head towards the entryway. 

"You've got that shield, I got (Y/n), I'll tell you how to get out of here," James said, Steve looked over (Y/n) anxiously, wanting to hold her, to reassure himself that she was alive but James said his name once more in warning and Steve was out the door. Natasha took up her place behind Bucky, guarding the group from the rear.

"Can you get us out of here?" Steve asked over his shoulder. 

"I can if you shut up," James grumbled and (Y/n) stirred in his arms. 

A quick shout from her made both men stop in their tracks. Steve turned and immediately had his hands on (Y/n)'s face. Her eyes were squeezed shut but she was starting to come around again, and with consciousness came pain. Steve and James shared a worried look as (Y/n) woke further.

"(Y/n)? (Y/n) it's me, it's Steve," Steve whispered but (Y/n) just kept clutching at whatever her hands could reach: namely Bucky. James tried his hand at calming her but she was too out of it to be able to hear his or Steve's words. 

"Just move, Steve, it's only gonna get worse," he insisted and nudged Steve to start off once again on their search for escape.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always.. more to come! Only a few more chapters now... ;) <3


	26. Clear!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> -clears throat- ehm .... I’m back! -squeak- please don’t hate me for abandoning this for so long!! Also, time in this chapter is messed up, just roll with it. Major cannon divergence.

“Go! Go! Go!” Natasha shouted from behind as Steve kicked the door open. Sunlight blinded the three as they spilled out of the compound, a hail of bullets raining down on them. 

Steve kept his shield up as the three sprinted towards the tree line. “Barton!” Natasha was breathless as she called through the comms. “We’re clear! Bring the building down!” 

“Took you long enough,” he muttered back. “Little help, Tony?” Clint looked to where Tony flew on the other side of the clearing.

“With pleasure,” Tony let loose missiles at the entryway Steve, Natasha, Bucky and (Y/n) had been in just a moment ago. “You pick up a new friend there, Cap?” He quipped.

“Not the time, Stark!” Steve growled before explosions shook the ground. The three managed to keep their footing but jarring made (Y/n) let out a low groan. 

Bucky was covered in (Y/n)’s blood-he could feel it saturating his shirt and the top of his waistband. He only hoped they weren’t too far from civilization. Before he could ask where they were going, a man dropped out of the tree they were passing. He nearly dropped (Y/n) as he started reaching for a gun.

“Behind you!” — Bucky called and as Steve turned ready for a fight, Natasha lunges forward and raised Bucky’s arm forcing the shot away. 

“He’s one of us!” She growled. Bucky shifted (y/n)’s weight and scowled at Natasha. 

“Some warning would’ve been nice, I’m not linked into your comm,” he said as the group picked up speed again, moving away from the collapsing base.

“Yeah, next time we’re escaping a Hydra base on red alert, I’ll make you a PowerPoint presentation,” Natasha rolled her eyes.

“What the hell is a powerpoint?” Bucky furrowed his brow.

“Another time! Can we focus?” Steve’s exasperated tone. “Tony! Quinjet ready?”

“I’m way ahead of you,” Tony said. 

Only a second later the four heard the quinjet roar to life over the hill. (Y/n) let out a scream as Bucky lost his footing, squeezing her tightly to keep her from falling. Her body was cold, sweaty, numb, and on fire simultaneously. She couldn’t make her mouth form words, and she was vaguely aware of her cries as she regained consciousness briefly.

“Shit,” Bucky swore looking down at her. 

Steve looked at (Y/n) over his shoulder. She wasn’t going to make it if they didn’t get her help soon. The quinjet landed in front of them, lowering the ramp so the four didn’t even break stride as they sprinted inside.

“Go! Tony!” Clint shouted as he was the last inside.

As the quinjet sped off, Steve guided Bucky to a stretcher surrounded with medical equipment. “We couldn’t risk bringing in a medic—“ Steve gasped out, catching his breath while Natasha pushed past him.

“How far away is help?” Bucky asked placing (Y/n) on the stretcher. Natasha immediately began cutting what was left of (Y/n)’s clothes off so they could see the extent of her injuries. 

Steve stared in horror at her broken body. He couldn’t see where one bruise ended and another began. She was covered in fresh blood where she’d been impaled. “Oh my god...” his hands hovered over her, not knowing where to start. 

Natasha clapped her hands near Steve’s face, but he just turned and stared at her, mouth agape. “Help me, or move Steve,” she said matter of factly. He nodded but didn’t move. 

“How far out, Stark?” Clint called.

“30 minutes!”

“She needs a line in...she’s lost too much blood. We can’t stitch that up...” Natasha said to herself as Clint came back to her side, handing her an IV kit. They worked together seamlessly, their years of partnership showing. 

“Cap, there’s a shock blanket in that drawer,” Clint said while he tied a tourniquet around (Y/n’s) arm. He’d done this enough times on himself and Natasha and soon he had an IV placed and taped down. “Here,” he tossed a bag of fluids to Natasha who hung them at the head of the stretcher.

Steve spread the silver foil blanket over (y/n) as she started shivering. “She’s going into shock...” Bucky said quietly, watching (Y/n) over Steve’s shoulder. Steve stroked (Y/n)s hair, and leaned forward to press a kiss to her forehead.

“I’m so sorry, (Y/n),” he whispered, swallowing hard. 

“She’s tough, she’ll make it,” Bucky said both to Steve and himself. She had to.

Natasha stood with both hands pressing down on (y/n)’s side, stemming the tide of blood with gauze. If she could just slow the bleeding...

“Landing in 10,” Tony called out. 

“Where are we landing?” Clint asked running to the front of the quinjet. 

“The tower. I called Helen—she made some calls and they’re expecting us,” Tony said quietly looking back to where (Y/n) lay. “Is that...” he started and looked at Clint.

“We haven’t been formally introduced,” Clint kept his voice low. “We’ll need to have a conversation once (Y/n) is stabilized.”

Bucky stiffened as he heard the hushed voices from the front of the jet. A conversation indeed...

The quinjet landed on the tower’s helipad where a team of doctors, surgeons and nurses awaited. Steve and Clint wheeled the stretcher down the ramp as they were surrounded by medical personnel. Natasha told a nearby nurse what she could and before she could blink, the stretcher with (Y/n) on it was whisked away into the tower leaving her, Steve, Clint, Tony and Bucky staring.

Tony was first to break the silence. “Soooooo..... friend of your’s, Cap?” He asked staring intently at Bucky. 

“Now’s not the time, Tony.” Steve scrubbed a hand over his face. He needed to get to (Y/n), he needed the doctors to tell him if she was going to be okay.

“No, now is definitely the time.” Tony said sternly, arms folded across his chest.

“Tony...” Natasha tried to intervene but Clint put a hand on her arm. Steve looked at the door, torn between going to find where (Y/n) was taken and finding out just what the hell was going on finding Bucky alive and in a Hydra base. 

“My name’s Bucky,” he said quietly reading each person’s face.

“Obviously,” Tony said leveling a glare at him. “Why are you alive, and more importantly, why were you at a Hydra base?” 

Steve took an aggressive step forward at Tony’s remark. “That’s enough, Stark.” As much as he wanted answers to the same questions, he wasn’t going to let Tony interrogate his best friend and probably the reason (Y/n) was alive.

Bucky’s face was unreadable. He carefully schooled his emotions and gave a slow nod. “Fair questions, but I’d like to talk to Steve about that privately.” He said glancing to the blonde next to him, wondering if this Stark was related to Howard. 

“No, I think we all deserve an answer—“ To y started but was interrupted when the door to the helipad swung open and Helen stepped out. 

“They just took (Y/n) into surgery, I thought you’d want to go to the waiting area...I can sneak two of you into the physicians lounge to wait,” she said looking at Steve expectantly.

“Let’s go, Buck,” Steve said quietly and turned on his heel, Bucky following closely.

“This isn’t finished!” Tony called after them wincing when Natasha punched his shoulder. 

“No it’s not,” Steve said. “I have something more important to take care of.” The metal door shut with a clang, cutting off any retaliatory remark from Tony.

“You have a lot of explaining to do,” he said quietly to Bucky.

“I know.”

The rest of the walk to the physicians lounge was silent and when Helen opened the door she glanced at Bucky before speaking to Steve. 

“Technically you aren’t supposed to be here, this is for physicians only. But considering the circumstances..”

“Thank you, Dr. Cho,” Steve gave her a weak smile which she returned. “Gentlemen,” she nodded to each.

Both men sat down opposite of each other, letting the silence draw out until Steve couldn’t take it anymore.

“You died.”

“Yea, well so did you...” Bucky grumbled.  
“Look, i can understand why you’d think that...I was pretty convinced that I had myself.” Bucky laughed humorlessly. 

“I don’t even know where to start,” Steve wiped his hand over his eyes then down his face. (Y/N) was near death in surgery and his dead best friend was sitting next to him-he was emotionally and physically drained. “Did you defect?” There was an edge to Steve’s tone.

“Fuck no,” Bucky bristled at the accusation. “You know me better than that.”

Steve sighed and leaned back in his chair, letting his head hit the wall behind him with a dull thud. “So what happened? How the hell are you here...your arm, you were at a Hydra base...” his mind was spinning trying to put everything together.

The two sat in silence for a long while, Bucky with his elbows resting on his knees, hands clasped between them and Steve staring at the ceiling. “I don’t know,” Bucky finally said. “I remember being cold...thawing out, puking my guts out, needles... and I remember the chair.” Bucky’s hands were clenched together as he recalled what he could from the decades he was held under the Soviets and then Hydra. “I was one of their ‘Winter Soldiers’...” Steve raised his eyebrows waiting for Bucky to continue. “Just another tool Hydra used to manipulate the world to fit their vision.” Bucky licked his lips nervously before continuing, “I’d rather only tell this story once so if there’s anyone else who needs to hear it...” he let his sentence drift.

Steve sat wordlessly next to his oldest friend, trying to grasp the depth of what he was confessing. “Every time I think we’ve wiped Hydra off the map they just pop up again...and again...fucking parasites...” he muttered, staring blankly ahead.

“Cut off one head...” Bucky started, sarcasm dripping from each word.

“We have a lot to talk about, Buck,” Steve sighed and Bucky grunted an acknowledgment. They sat in silence for hours, occasionally asking one another a question that came to mind. There was so much they needed to tell one another, yet coming up with conversation to understand what had happened and what was happening wasn’t easy.

The tension in the empty hallway was palpable until Steve finally broke the silence once more. “What did they do to her?” He finally asked.

Bucky took a deep breath. He didn’t want to think about the torture (Y/N) had endured and how he’d see her broken each night crying out for Steve. 

“The worst of her injuries happened during our escape...” Bucky hedged the question and looked down at the tile between his feet. After a long minute, he forced himself to look at Steve. “They tortured her, and I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone last as long as she did.”

Steve’s heart shattered as Bucky confirmed his worst fears. He sat staring at nothing, until in an outburst he stood and turned, arm striking out and going through the wall. Bucky clenched his teeth but didn’t intervene. Before Steve could do more damage to the hallway, a door opened and a doctor in scrubs and surgical cap came out. 

Bucky stood with Steve as she approached. “I’m Dr. Renn, I was brought in to work on (y/n)— she lost a lot of blood. Right now it looks like she’ll make it, but she’ll be in the ICU for the foreseeable future.” The doctor said bluntly. 

“Right now? What-“ Steve started to ask and Dr. Renn shook her head.

“Mr. Rogers, it’s a miracle she’s alive right now. I’m a practical doctor and when my patient is as critical as (Y/n) is right now, I don’t give false hope. Considering her condition, take it and run with it.”

“What are her injuries?” Steve folded his arms and tucked his chin to his chest, fixing his eyes on the floor.

Dr. Renn’s eyes softened and she took a deep breath. “I can’t tell you.” Both Steve and Bucky snapped their heads up to look at the doctor. “Before you yell at me, it’s a legal situation. It’d be a breach of patient privacy. Until I get permission from her...” Steve was about to object...loudly when Dr. Renn held up her hands, palms out towards the distraught man. “I can, however, give you this. She’s in PACU now, once she’s ready she’ll be moved to ICU. Usually it’s immediate family only — I will make an exception in this case considering the circumstances.” With a last nod she turned and disappeared back through the door leaving Steve and Bucky dumbfounded. 

“You’ll see her soon,” Bucky said quietly and sat down, wincing with the movement.

**Author's Note:**

> Suggestions? Constructive criticism is always welcome. Have something you'd like to see? - Leave a comment! Much love


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